My mother set herself on fire

[Guest guest]

I'm 51. 33 years ago, my mother doused herself with a flammable fluid

and set herself on fire, causing third degree burns and grossly

disfiguring her face permanently and disabling herself permanently.

Only my dad was present and he lied and said it was an accident. My mom

was sexually abused by her father, a raging tyrant. I am one of 3

children, the youngest, and I'm the only one my father told the truth

to. I'm also the only child that my mother ever told about her suicide

plans. My father is a total capitulator. Anybody have this experience?

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry. This is a great burden for you to carry this information. My nada

is weird, constantly tells me and everyone around her about her fake illnesses

but she's never gone this far to get attention. I do hope you're able to keep

your distance from them both. It's not your job to fix their relationship.

Please take care of yourself.

>

> I'm 51. 33 years ago, my mother doused herself with a flammable fluid

> and set herself on fire, causing third degree burns and grossly

> disfiguring her face permanently and disabling herself permanently.

> Only my dad was present and he lied and said it was an accident. My mom

> was sexually abused by her father, a raging tyrant. I am one of 3

> children, the youngest, and I'm the only one my father told the truth

> to. I'm also the only child that my mother ever told about her suicide

> plans. My father is a total capitulator. Anybody have this experience?

>

[Guest guest]

It is sad that your mother tried to kill herself that way, what a horribly

painful and traumatic experience. How devastating for you and her whole family.

Denying the suicide attempt the way your father did wasn't mentally healthy

either; someone as dysfunctional and suicidal as your mother needed to be under

a psychiatrist's care.

I agree that it was wrong of your parents to include you in keeping the secret

that your mother's " accident " was really a suicide attempt.

I hope you are finding your way toward peace and healing, now, and that you do

not feel responsible in any way for your parents' feelings or behaviors.

-Annie

> >

> > I'm 51. 33 years ago, my mother doused herself with a flammable fluid

> > and set herself on fire, causing third degree burns and grossly

> > disfiguring her face permanently and disabling herself permanently.

> > Only my dad was present and he lied and said it was an accident. My mom

> > was sexually abused by her father, a raging tyrant. I am one of 3

> > children, the youngest, and I'm the only one my father told the truth

> > to. I'm also the only child that my mother ever told about her suicide

> > plans. My father is a total capitulator. Anybody have this experience?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

This is just the most awful attempt for attention that I have ever heard of and

as bad as it is, I am grateful you were not a young child when your nada did

this extremely mentally ill act. She could not have imagined, I would guess,

that it would turn out so horribly. I am so sorry.

In a much lesser way, like Irene, I can relate to the attention issue - my nada

dramatized both her " heart issues " and supposed diagnosis of osteoporosis. When

I started having similar heart issues, my doctor did a lot of tests and what I

have and nada had was NOT a deathly heart issue, it was just palpitations

triggered by false spikes in emotion. For example, when I was in the eye

doctor's office, he needed to remove a growth on my eyelid. The light overhead

reminded me of the one when I got my tonsils out 50 years earlier. I wasn't

worried or scared, having had many growths removed in my eye area (little blobs

that grow). But my brain saw the light and my heart began to race. It's not

deadly and it went away soon after; all tests show that I have a healthy heart.

Two things that " outed " my nada: she fell when she was about 86 and broke no

bones, and she died at 89, not something a person with a " heart issue " can

easily do! Even my father, who was blind to her behavior for a long time, said

to me, " How can she have osteoporosis if she fell and didn't break anything?! "

Flowers

-----Original Message-----

>

>

My nada is weird, constantly tells me and everyone around her about her fake

illnesses but she's never gone this far to get attention.

[Guest guest]

This is just the most awful attempt for attention that I have ever heard of and

as bad as it is, I am grateful you were not a young child when your nada did

this extremely mentally ill act. She could not have imagined, I would guess,

that it would turn out so horribly. I am so sorry.

In a much lesser way, like Irene, I can relate to the attention issue - my nada

dramatized both her " heart issues " and supposed diagnosis of osteoporosis. When

I started having similar heart issues, my doctor did a lot of tests and what I

have and nada had was NOT a deathly heart issue, it was just palpitations

triggered by false spikes in emotion. For example, when I was in the eye

doctor's office, he needed to remove a growth on my eyelid. The light overhead

reminded me of the one when I got my tonsils out 50 years earlier. I wasn't

worried or scared, having had many growths removed in my eye area (little blobs

that grow). But my brain saw the light and my heart began to race. It's not

deadly and it went away soon after; all tests show that I have a healthy heart.

Two things that " outed " my nada: she fell when she was about 86 and broke no

bones, and she died at 89, not something a person with a " heart issue " can

easily do! Even my father, who was blind to her behavior for a long time, said

to me, " How can she have osteoporosis if she fell and didn't break anything?! "

Flowers

-----Original Message-----

>

>

My nada is weird, constantly tells me and everyone around her about her fake

illnesses but she's never gone this far to get attention.

[Guest guest]

This is just the most awful attempt for attention that I have ever heard of and

as bad as it is, I am grateful you were not a young child when your nada did

this extremely mentally ill act. She could not have imagined, I would guess,

that it would turn out so horribly. I am so sorry.

In a much lesser way, like Irene, I can relate to the attention issue - my nada

dramatized both her " heart issues " and supposed diagnosis of osteoporosis. When

I started having similar heart issues, my doctor did a lot of tests and what I

have and nada had was NOT a deathly heart issue, it was just palpitations

triggered by false spikes in emotion. For example, when I was in the eye

doctor's office, he needed to remove a growth on my eyelid. The light overhead

reminded me of the one when I got my tonsils out 50 years earlier. I wasn't

worried or scared, having had many growths removed in my eye area (little blobs

that grow). But my brain saw the light and my heart began to race. It's not

deadly and it went away soon after; all tests show that I have a healthy heart.

Two things that " outed " my nada: she fell when she was about 86 and broke no

bones, and she died at 89, not something a person with a " heart issue " can

easily do! Even my father, who was blind to her behavior for a long time, said

to me, " How can she have osteoporosis if she fell and didn't break anything?! "

Flowers

-----Original Message-----

>

>

My nada is weird, constantly tells me and everyone around her about her fake

illnesses but she's never gone this far to get attention.