Re: I think my Nada has gone LC with ME...

[Guest guest]

My theory (and I'm no psychologist, so, take that into account that this is just

my own amateur opinion) is that nadas who do this have a lot of narcissistic pd

traits in addition to their bpd traits (aka a " co-morbidity " of narcissistic

pd.) Your nada is only interested in you as long as you are giving her

" narcissistic supply " . If you shut off the supply of attention and catering to

her ego that she requires, she loses interest in you and finds someone else to

give her that " feed " .

-Annie

>

> My therapist most recently recommended that I cut down on the number of calls

to my nada which I have implemented over the last few months.

>

> My mother had mentioned the possibility of a (too)-lengthy visit this coming

summer and in light of past visits from hell and some resurfacing childhood

memories, I was in near panic-mode. In my session, I happened to mention to my T

that my mom, most often a queen/witch combo (with cheese) is now exhibiting

hermit qualities.

>

> In order to put some space between me and Mayor McCheese in the event of a

visit and to test my theory that she is becoming a hermit, my T suggested

suggested fewer calls, that I wait on my mother to call me between my calls to

her, especially if she said she would call, and that I, in general, share less

of the details of my life with her.

>

> Surprisingly, at least to me, my mother does not seem bothered by any of this.

I call her every 7-10 days, unless she has said she would call me - and then I

don't - and the last time she said she'd call, it was like, two weeks before she

actually did. And, when I do call, she often sounds bored or preoccupied. I

don't tell her any of the juicy details. Often, she ends the conversation within

minutes of my call. But really, there has been no fall-out of any kind. Nothing.

Zip, zilch, nada.

>

> I am not upset about this, and I know that many on here may now green with

envy - so I am not complaining, lest anyone call me ungrateful. I have just

reached a point of detachment with both my parents where their behavior, for the

most part, bothers me about as much as if an aquaintance did the same things.

This was hard-won, believe me, but it is handy. So, this post isn't about

sympathy/empathy/comfort.

>

> This post is Sid the Science Kid wondering if anyone else has experienced

something similar?

>

[Guest guest]

Sid the Science Kid?!!! LOVE PBS!

Anyway, Sid, this is exactly what my nada is doing. I'm thrilled but a little

concerned about the fallout myself. She usually holds secret imagined grudges

for a lifetime at least, so I'm sure she is stewing and milking and storing up

the venom to unleash upon me.

I was REALLY busy with my family/work/master's degree for a few years, so we

went LC for no real reason other than I was at work or asleep. I think she may

have gotten used to this? So my reactions are like, emotionally stalled in

time. I'm still back in 2003 or something, feeling all worked up about this

stuff, but she doesn't really have me on her radar anymore anyway?

Step-fada passed away and I went to the rescue. About 2 months of handling

moving trailers/realtors/subcontractors/doctors/health insurance/phone calls,

etc. for her drove me to researching and then found this board. Then reduced

all contact to near zilch citing work/school/family reasons. Worked like a

charm so far.

She went on to look for a job, recruit people from church to do a bunch of free

work for her, etc. I think I just got crossed off the " Useful Persons " list?

Hope so!

+Coal Miner's Daughter

>

> My therapist most recently recommended that I cut down on the number of calls

to my nada which I have implemented over the last few months.

>

> My mother had mentioned the possibility of a (too)-lengthy visit this coming

summer and in light of past visits from hell and some resurfacing childhood

memories, I was in near panic-mode. In my session, I happened to mention to my T

that my mom, most often a queen/witch combo (with cheese) is now exhibiting

hermit qualities.

>

> In order to put some space between me and Mayor McCheese in the event of a

visit and to test my theory that she is becoming a hermit, my T suggested

suggested fewer calls, that I wait on my mother to call me between my calls to

her, especially if she said she would call, and that I, in general, share less

of the details of my life with her.

>

> Surprisingly, at least to me, my mother does not seem bothered by any of this.

I call her every 7-10 days, unless she has said she would call me - and then I

don't - and the last time she said she'd call, it was like, two weeks before she

actually did. And, when I do call, she often sounds bored or preoccupied. I

don't tell her any of the juicy details. Often, she ends the conversation within

minutes of my call. But really, there has been no fall-out of any kind. Nothing.

Zip, zilch, nada.

>

> I am not upset about this, and I know that many on here may now green with

envy - so I am not complaining, lest anyone call me ungrateful. I have just

reached a point of detachment with both my parents where their behavior, for the

most part, bothers me about as much as if an aquaintance did the same things.

This was hard-won, believe me, but it is handy. So, this post isn't about

sympathy/empathy/comfort.

>

> This post is Sid the Science Kid wondering if anyone else has experienced

something similar?

>

[Guest guest]

" I think I just got crossed off the " Useful Persons " list? Hope so! "

Last time When I spoke with my nada and told her she would loose all people

around her if she would continue to behave like that, she said very calmy:

" Don't worry I'll find somebody " I'm sure she'll find new victim sooner or

later. Isn't that amazing how they are gifted to find new victims? And how

easily they turn you back and forget that you exist when they think they don't

need you anymore?

> >

> > My therapist most recently recommended that I cut down on the number of

calls to my nada which I have implemented over the last few months.

> >

> > My mother had mentioned the possibility of a (too)-lengthy visit this coming

summer and in light of past visits from hell and some resurfacing childhood

memories, I was in near panic-mode. In my session, I happened to mention to my T

that my mom, most often a queen/witch combo (with cheese) is now exhibiting

hermit qualities.

> >

> > In order to put some space between me and Mayor McCheese in the event of a

visit and to test my theory that she is becoming a hermit, my T suggested

suggested fewer calls, that I wait on my mother to call me between my calls to

her, especially if she said she would call, and that I, in general, share less

of the details of my life with her.

> >

> > Surprisingly, at least to me, my mother does not seem bothered by any of

this. I call her every 7-10 days, unless she has said she would call me - and

then I don't - and the last time she said she'd call, it was like, two weeks

before she actually did. And, when I do call, she often sounds bored or

preoccupied. I don't tell her any of the juicy details. Often, she ends the

conversation within minutes of my call. But really, there has been no fall-out

of any kind. Nothing. Zip, zilch, nada.

> >

> > I am not upset about this, and I know that many on here may now green with

envy - so I am not complaining, lest anyone call me ungrateful. I have just

reached a point of detachment with both my parents where their behavior, for the

most part, bothers me about as much as if an aquaintance did the same things.

This was hard-won, believe me, but it is handy. So, this post isn't about

sympathy/empathy/comfort.

> >

> > This post is Sid the Science Kid wondering if anyone else has experienced

something similar?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

" I think I just got crossed off the " Useful Persons " list? Hope so! "

Last time When I spoke with my nada and told her she would loose all people

around her if she would continue to behave like that, she said very calmy:

" Don't worry I'll find somebody " I'm sure she'll find new victim sooner or

later. Isn't that amazing how they are gifted to find new victims? And how

easily they turn you back and forget that you exist when they think they don't

need you anymore?

> >

> > My therapist most recently recommended that I cut down on the number of

calls to my nada which I have implemented over the last few months.

> >

> > My mother had mentioned the possibility of a (too)-lengthy visit this coming

summer and in light of past visits from hell and some resurfacing childhood

memories, I was in near panic-mode. In my session, I happened to mention to my T

that my mom, most often a queen/witch combo (with cheese) is now exhibiting

hermit qualities.

> >

> > In order to put some space between me and Mayor McCheese in the event of a

visit and to test my theory that she is becoming a hermit, my T suggested

suggested fewer calls, that I wait on my mother to call me between my calls to

her, especially if she said she would call, and that I, in general, share less

of the details of my life with her.

> >

> > Surprisingly, at least to me, my mother does not seem bothered by any of

this. I call her every 7-10 days, unless she has said she would call me - and

then I don't - and the last time she said she'd call, it was like, two weeks

before she actually did. And, when I do call, she often sounds bored or

preoccupied. I don't tell her any of the juicy details. Often, she ends the

conversation within minutes of my call. But really, there has been no fall-out

of any kind. Nothing. Zip, zilch, nada.

> >

> > I am not upset about this, and I know that many on here may now green with

envy - so I am not complaining, lest anyone call me ungrateful. I have just

reached a point of detachment with both my parents where their behavior, for the

most part, bothers me about as much as if an aquaintance did the same things.

This was hard-won, believe me, but it is handy. So, this post isn't about

sympathy/empathy/comfort.

> >

> > This post is Sid the Science Kid wondering if anyone else has experienced

something similar?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

A very intriguing idea! My father is NPD, so it wouldn't surprise me if my

mother had some of those traits too. I will test this hypothesis and let you

know my findings.

Part of me wonders if, given her talent for projection, if she's decided I'm

personality disordered and is " handling " me. Another part thinks, " Woohoo! " but

another part wonders when the pentup grudge will come out to get me...

> >

> > My therapist most recently recommended that I cut down on the number of

calls to my nada which I have implemented over the last few months.

> >

> > My mother had mentioned the possibility of a (too)-lengthy visit this coming

summer and in light of past visits from hell and some resurfacing childhood

memories, I was in near panic-mode. In my session, I happened to mention to my T

that my mom, most often a queen/witch combo (with cheese) is now exhibiting

hermit qualities.

> >

> > In order to put some space between me and Mayor McCheese in the event of a

visit and to test my theory that she is becoming a hermit, my T suggested

suggested fewer calls, that I wait on my mother to call me between my calls to

her, especially if she said she would call, and that I, in general, share less

of the details of my life with her.

> >

> > Surprisingly, at least to me, my mother does not seem bothered by any of

this. I call her every 7-10 days, unless she has said she would call me - and

then I don't - and the last time she said she'd call, it was like, two weeks

before she actually did. And, when I do call, she often sounds bored or

preoccupied. I don't tell her any of the juicy details. Often, she ends the

conversation within minutes of my call. But really, there has been no fall-out

of any kind. Nothing. Zip, zilch, nada.

> >

> > I am not upset about this, and I know that many on here may now green with

envy - so I am not complaining, lest anyone call me ungrateful. I have just

reached a point of detachment with both my parents where their behavior, for the

most part, bothers me about as much as if an aquaintance did the same things.

This was hard-won, believe me, but it is handy. So, this post isn't about

sympathy/empathy/comfort.

> >

> > This post is Sid the Science Kid wondering if anyone else has experienced

something similar?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

A very intriguing idea! My father is NPD, so it wouldn't surprise me if my

mother had some of those traits too. I will test this hypothesis and let you

know my findings.

Part of me wonders if, given her talent for projection, if she's decided I'm

personality disordered and is " handling " me. Another part thinks, " Woohoo! " but

another part wonders when the pentup grudge will come out to get me...

> >

> > My therapist most recently recommended that I cut down on the number of

calls to my nada which I have implemented over the last few months.

> >

> > My mother had mentioned the possibility of a (too)-lengthy visit this coming

summer and in light of past visits from hell and some resurfacing childhood

memories, I was in near panic-mode. In my session, I happened to mention to my T

that my mom, most often a queen/witch combo (with cheese) is now exhibiting

hermit qualities.

> >

> > In order to put some space between me and Mayor McCheese in the event of a

visit and to test my theory that she is becoming a hermit, my T suggested

suggested fewer calls, that I wait on my mother to call me between my calls to

her, especially if she said she would call, and that I, in general, share less

of the details of my life with her.

> >

> > Surprisingly, at least to me, my mother does not seem bothered by any of

this. I call her every 7-10 days, unless she has said she would call me - and

then I don't - and the last time she said she'd call, it was like, two weeks

before she actually did. And, when I do call, she often sounds bored or

preoccupied. I don't tell her any of the juicy details. Often, she ends the

conversation within minutes of my call. But really, there has been no fall-out

of any kind. Nothing. Zip, zilch, nada.

> >

> > I am not upset about this, and I know that many on here may now green with

envy - so I am not complaining, lest anyone call me ungrateful. I have just

reached a point of detachment with both my parents where their behavior, for the

most part, bothers me about as much as if an aquaintance did the same things.

This was hard-won, believe me, but it is handy. So, this post isn't about

sympathy/empathy/comfort.

> >

> > This post is Sid the Science Kid wondering if anyone else has experienced

something similar?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

A very intriguing idea! My father is NPD, so it wouldn't surprise me if my

mother had some of those traits too. I will test this hypothesis and let you

know my findings.

Part of me wonders if, given her talent for projection, if she's decided I'm

personality disordered and is " handling " me. Another part thinks, " Woohoo! " but

another part wonders when the pentup grudge will come out to get me...

> >

> > My therapist most recently recommended that I cut down on the number of

calls to my nada which I have implemented over the last few months.

> >

> > My mother had mentioned the possibility of a (too)-lengthy visit this coming

summer and in light of past visits from hell and some resurfacing childhood

memories, I was in near panic-mode. In my session, I happened to mention to my T

that my mom, most often a queen/witch combo (with cheese) is now exhibiting

hermit qualities.

> >

> > In order to put some space between me and Mayor McCheese in the event of a

visit and to test my theory that she is becoming a hermit, my T suggested

suggested fewer calls, that I wait on my mother to call me between my calls to

her, especially if she said she would call, and that I, in general, share less

of the details of my life with her.

> >

> > Surprisingly, at least to me, my mother does not seem bothered by any of

this. I call her every 7-10 days, unless she has said she would call me - and

then I don't - and the last time she said she'd call, it was like, two weeks

before she actually did. And, when I do call, she often sounds bored or

preoccupied. I don't tell her any of the juicy details. Often, she ends the

conversation within minutes of my call. But really, there has been no fall-out

of any kind. Nothing. Zip, zilch, nada.

> >

> > I am not upset about this, and I know that many on here may now green with

envy - so I am not complaining, lest anyone call me ungrateful. I have just

reached a point of detachment with both my parents where their behavior, for the

most part, bothers me about as much as if an aquaintance did the same things.

This was hard-won, believe me, but it is handy. So, this post isn't about

sympathy/empathy/comfort.

> >

> > This post is Sid the Science Kid wondering if anyone else has experienced

something similar?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Dang, Annie, You took my answer!! Yes I say narsassistic supply too.

Yes, when I went NC with my nada, she made almost no attempt to reach out to

me except for some really hateful letters and checks disguised as love

notes- imagine if a serial killer knew how to deliver a back handed

compliment.

I know exactly how she is spending her time. My relationship is the source

of sorrow in her world, and she plays her little violin about how her

beloved daughter walked away from her for no reason, and the flying monkeys

line up and throw money in her hat and dance with her to the music. Hence,

I'm NC with about a 50 mile square geographic area of the Western United

States. I honestly almost hyperventilate just driving through the area.

But I don't really mind, i've got the whole rest of the world pretty much to

myself

>

>

> A very intriguing idea! My father is NPD, so it wouldn't surprise me if my

> mother had some of those traits too. I will test this hypothesis and let you

> know my findings.

> Part of me wonders if, given her talent for projection, if she's decided

> I'm personality disordered and is " handling " me. Another part thinks,

> " Woohoo! " but another part wonders when the pentup grudge will come out to

> get me...

>

>

> > >

> > > My therapist most recently recommended that I cut down on the number of

> calls to my nada which I have implemented over the last few months.

> > >

> > > My mother had mentioned the possibility of a (too)-lengthy visit this

> coming summer and in light of past visits from hell and some resurfacing

> childhood memories, I was in near panic-mode. In my session, I happened to

> mention to my T that my mom, most often a queen/witch combo (with cheese) is

> now exhibiting hermit qualities.

> > >

> > > In order to put some space between me and Mayor McCheese in the event

> of a visit and to test my theory that she is becoming a hermit, my T

> suggested suggested fewer calls, that I wait on my mother to call me between

> my calls to her, especially if she said she would call, and that I, in

> general, share less of the details of my life with her.

> > >

> > > Surprisingly, at least to me, my mother does not seem bothered by any

> of this. I call her every 7-10 days, unless she has said she would call me -

> and then I don't - and the last time she said she'd call, it was like, two

> weeks before she actually did. And, when I do call, she often sounds bored

> or preoccupied. I don't tell her any of the juicy details. Often, she ends

> the conversation within minutes of my call. But really, there has been no

> fall-out of any kind. Nothing. Zip, zilch, nada.

> > >

> > > I am not upset about this, and I know that many on here may now green

> with envy - so I am not complaining, lest anyone call me ungrateful. I have

> just reached a point of detachment with both my parents where their

> behavior, for the most part, bothers me about as much as if an aquaintance

> did the same things. This was hard-won, believe me, but it is handy. So,

> this post isn't about sympathy/empathy/comfort.

> > >

> > > This post is Sid the Science Kid wondering if anyone else has

> experienced something similar?

> > >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dang, Annie, You took my answer!! Yes I say narsassistic supply too.

Yes, when I went NC with my nada, she made almost no attempt to reach out to

me except for some really hateful letters and checks disguised as love

notes- imagine if a serial killer knew how to deliver a back handed

compliment.

I know exactly how she is spending her time. My relationship is the source

of sorrow in her world, and she plays her little violin about how her

beloved daughter walked away from her for no reason, and the flying monkeys

line up and throw money in her hat and dance with her to the music. Hence,

I'm NC with about a 50 mile square geographic area of the Western United

States. I honestly almost hyperventilate just driving through the area.

But I don't really mind, i've got the whole rest of the world pretty much to

myself

>

>

> A very intriguing idea! My father is NPD, so it wouldn't surprise me if my

> mother had some of those traits too. I will test this hypothesis and let you

> know my findings.

> Part of me wonders if, given her talent for projection, if she's decided

> I'm personality disordered and is " handling " me. Another part thinks,

> " Woohoo! " but another part wonders when the pentup grudge will come out to

> get me...

>

>

> > >

> > > My therapist most recently recommended that I cut down on the number of

> calls to my nada which I have implemented over the last few months.

> > >

> > > My mother had mentioned the possibility of a (too)-lengthy visit this

> coming summer and in light of past visits from hell and some resurfacing

> childhood memories, I was in near panic-mode. In my session, I happened to

> mention to my T that my mom, most often a queen/witch combo (with cheese) is

> now exhibiting hermit qualities.

> > >

> > > In order to put some space between me and Mayor McCheese in the event

> of a visit and to test my theory that she is becoming a hermit, my T

> suggested suggested fewer calls, that I wait on my mother to call me between

> my calls to her, especially if she said she would call, and that I, in

> general, share less of the details of my life with her.

> > >

> > > Surprisingly, at least to me, my mother does not seem bothered by any

> of this. I call her every 7-10 days, unless she has said she would call me -

> and then I don't - and the last time she said she'd call, it was like, two

> weeks before she actually did. And, when I do call, she often sounds bored

> or preoccupied. I don't tell her any of the juicy details. Often, she ends

> the conversation within minutes of my call. But really, there has been no

> fall-out of any kind. Nothing. Zip, zilch, nada.

> > >

> > > I am not upset about this, and I know that many on here may now green

> with envy - so I am not complaining, lest anyone call me ungrateful. I have

> just reached a point of detachment with both my parents where their

> behavior, for the most part, bothers me about as much as if an aquaintance

> did the same things. This was hard-won, believe me, but it is handy. So,

> this post isn't about sympathy/empathy/comfort.

> > >

> > > This post is Sid the Science Kid wondering if anyone else has

> experienced something similar?

> > >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My Nada is same at times too. In my case I think she's too proud to contact me.

She doesn't email me for a while if I don't email her back or doesn't call me if

I don't call her back but makes my dad to do that which is not that often

either. Thank goodness !!!!

>

> My therapist most recently recommended that I cut down on the number of calls

to my nada which I have implemented over the last few months.

>

> My mother had mentioned the possibility of a (too)-lengthy visit this coming

summer and in light of past visits from hell and some resurfacing childhood

memories, I was in near panic-mode. In my session, I happened to mention to my T

that my mom, most often a queen/witch combo (with cheese) is now exhibiting

hermit qualities.

>

> In order to put some space between me and Mayor McCheese in the event of a

visit and to test my theory that she is becoming a hermit, my T suggested

suggested fewer calls, that I wait on my mother to call me between my calls to

her, especially if she said she would call, and that I, in general, share less

of the details of my life with her.

>

> Surprisingly, at least to me, my mother does not seem bothered by any of this.

I call her every 7-10 days, unless she has said she would call me - and then I

don't - and the last time she said she'd call, it was like, two weeks before she

actually did. And, when I do call, she often sounds bored or preoccupied. I

don't tell her any of the juicy details. Often, she ends the conversation within

minutes of my call. But really, there has been no fall-out of any kind. Nothing.

Zip, zilch, nada.

>

> I am not upset about this, and I know that many on here may now green with

envy - so I am not complaining, lest anyone call me ungrateful. I have just

reached a point of detachment with both my parents where their behavior, for the

most part, bothers me about as much as if an aquaintance did the same things.

This was hard-won, believe me, but it is handy. So, this post isn't about

sympathy/empathy/comfort.

>

> This post is Sid the Science Kid wondering if anyone else has experienced

something similar?

>

[Guest guest]

My Nada is same at times too. In my case I think she's too proud to contact me.

She doesn't email me for a while if I don't email her back or doesn't call me if

I don't call her back but makes my dad to do that which is not that often

either. Thank goodness !!!!

>

> My therapist most recently recommended that I cut down on the number of calls

to my nada which I have implemented over the last few months.

>

> My mother had mentioned the possibility of a (too)-lengthy visit this coming

summer and in light of past visits from hell and some resurfacing childhood

memories, I was in near panic-mode. In my session, I happened to mention to my T

that my mom, most often a queen/witch combo (with cheese) is now exhibiting

hermit qualities.

>

> In order to put some space between me and Mayor McCheese in the event of a

visit and to test my theory that she is becoming a hermit, my T suggested

suggested fewer calls, that I wait on my mother to call me between my calls to

her, especially if she said she would call, and that I, in general, share less

of the details of my life with her.

>

> Surprisingly, at least to me, my mother does not seem bothered by any of this.

I call her every 7-10 days, unless she has said she would call me - and then I

don't - and the last time she said she'd call, it was like, two weeks before she

actually did. And, when I do call, she often sounds bored or preoccupied. I

don't tell her any of the juicy details. Often, she ends the conversation within

minutes of my call. But really, there has been no fall-out of any kind. Nothing.

Zip, zilch, nada.

>

> I am not upset about this, and I know that many on here may now green with

envy - so I am not complaining, lest anyone call me ungrateful. I have just

reached a point of detachment with both my parents where their behavior, for the

most part, bothers me about as much as if an aquaintance did the same things.

This was hard-won, believe me, but it is handy. So, this post isn't about

sympathy/empathy/comfort.

>

> This post is Sid the Science Kid wondering if anyone else has experienced

something similar?

>

[Guest guest]

My Nada is same at times too. In my case I think she's too proud to contact me.

She doesn't email me for a while if I don't email her back or doesn't call me if

I don't call her back but makes my dad to do that which is not that often

either. Thank goodness !!!!

>

> My therapist most recently recommended that I cut down on the number of calls

to my nada which I have implemented over the last few months.

>

> My mother had mentioned the possibility of a (too)-lengthy visit this coming

summer and in light of past visits from hell and some resurfacing childhood

memories, I was in near panic-mode. In my session, I happened to mention to my T

that my mom, most often a queen/witch combo (with cheese) is now exhibiting

hermit qualities.

>

> In order to put some space between me and Mayor McCheese in the event of a

visit and to test my theory that she is becoming a hermit, my T suggested

suggested fewer calls, that I wait on my mother to call me between my calls to

her, especially if she said she would call, and that I, in general, share less

of the details of my life with her.

>

> Surprisingly, at least to me, my mother does not seem bothered by any of this.

I call her every 7-10 days, unless she has said she would call me - and then I

don't - and the last time she said she'd call, it was like, two weeks before she

actually did. And, when I do call, she often sounds bored or preoccupied. I

don't tell her any of the juicy details. Often, she ends the conversation within

minutes of my call. But really, there has been no fall-out of any kind. Nothing.

Zip, zilch, nada.

>

> I am not upset about this, and I know that many on here may now green with

envy - so I am not complaining, lest anyone call me ungrateful. I have just

reached a point of detachment with both my parents where their behavior, for the

most part, bothers me about as much as if an aquaintance did the same things.

This was hard-won, believe me, but it is handy. So, this post isn't about

sympathy/empathy/comfort.

>

> This post is Sid the Science Kid wondering if anyone else has experienced

something similar?

>

[Guest guest]

Min does this too. I thought it was very strange and wondered if maybe it meant

she WASN'T BPD after all. I don't call, and then neither does she, for a long

time. Right now - she seems to have assumed that we wouldn't see each other for

Christmas. No reason, no current fight going on, I guess I just didn't ask her

soon enough. We live in the same city so not seeing each other at all is very

strange. I also wonder if she thinks she's 'handling' me. And what sob stories

she's telling others " My daughter doesn't want to see me for Christmas, I don't

know why! " I don't understand it, it doesn't seem normal, and I just am not

going to waste too much energy figuring it out.

Thanks for posting though - glad someone else experiences it as strange too!

-Terri

>

> My therapist most recently recommended that I cut down on the number of calls

to my nada which I have implemented over the last few months.

>

> My mother had mentioned the possibility of a (too)-lengthy visit this coming

summer and in light of past visits from hell and some resurfacing childhood

memories, I was in near panic-mode. In my session, I happened to mention to my T

that my mom, most often a queen/witch combo (with cheese) is now exhibiting

hermit qualities.

>

> In order to put some space between me and Mayor McCheese in the event of a

visit and to test my theory that she is becoming a hermit, my T suggested

suggested fewer calls, that I wait on my mother to call me between my calls to

her, especially if she said she would call, and that I, in general, share less

of the details of my life with her.

>

> Surprisingly, at least to me, my mother does not seem bothered by any of this.

I call her every 7-10 days, unless she has said she would call me - and then I

don't - and the last time she said she'd call, it was like, two weeks before she

actually did. And, when I do call, she often sounds bored or preoccupied. I

don't tell her any of the juicy details. Often, she ends the conversation within

minutes of my call. But really, there has been no fall-out of any kind. Nothing.

Zip, zilch, nada.

>

> I am not upset about this, and I know that many on here may now green with

envy - so I am not complaining, lest anyone call me ungrateful. I have just

reached a point of detachment with both my parents where their behavior, for the

most part, bothers me about as much as if an aquaintance did the same things.

This was hard-won, believe me, but it is handy. So, this post isn't about

sympathy/empathy/comfort.

>

> This post is Sid the Science Kid wondering if anyone else has experienced

something similar?

>