Re: Financial woes...

[Guest guest]

Hi Elle,

What a pretty name. Nice to meet you. sorry you have a nada too.

Well, i don't know how to fix the past, but going forward, one simple rule.

Never Ever share anything with nada that you care about - money, pet, car,

spouse, friends, your children - she will take take take take.

Personally, I'd probably turn my back on the loans already had, assume that

I would pay every penny myself despite her involvement, i would not fight

for the money (she would love it if you fought her, but to turn your back

and ignore her is like death to her), i would be willing to take longer in

college and work more hours - if it meant I could be nada free. It's like

the TV commercial says " priceless. " Or like the song - their must be 50 ways

to leave your nada. Leave now. Its a lot like a divorce, but you won't get a

certificate you can frame and there is no legality to it at your age. You

are young and have a beautiful life ahead. Start looking for a therapist you

click with, because you will need it. We all do.

Hugs, good luck

>

>

>

> Hello, I just wanted to share my current experience because I feel very

> trapped and alone in this matter. I'm a 21 year-old college student

> (junior) with a BPD nada. The problem at this point in my life is that

> she controls 95% of my money in that we both have loans out for my

> college, rent, etc., but she places them in her own savings account and

> distributes it to me when I " ask. " I have no idea how this arrangement

> got into place (I never signed up for this), but I know it has a lot to

> do with the obvious issue: control.

>

> Right now, I am unemployed between semesters, but when I am employed, I

> make minimum wage and am only offered less than 15 hours a week. I'm a

> full-time student and I've been struggling with my depression again

> off-and-on for the last year or so, so the energy and time available for

> a second job are slim to none. I would quit my current job if it weren't

> for the fact that it's one of the few things I still enjoy in life!

>

> All told, I have to request money for just about anything I want,

> including: cat food, gas, food, rent, bills, doctors appointments, etc.

> I know this is bad behavior for many reasons, including the fact that

> one of my hot buttons (per how to stop walking on eggshells) is being

> lorded over by her/controlled by her, which I know she really enjoys,

> and having to deal with it. But any suggestion, as I'm sure you'll

> understand, will be met with rage, tears, the cold shoulder,

> victimization, or many of these at once--depends on where the roullette

> lands today.

>

> What I'm trying to ask is whether or not anyone else has had this

> problem--even in a broader sense, in any way that the BP had something

> you needed and, given the circumstances, you couldn't get it elsewhere

> or escape--and if so, if you could share your stories, I'd greatly,

> greatly appreciate it.

>

> Thank you, everyone. It's so nice to finally hear that I'm not alone

> from the fingertips of the people who are like me, rather than a distant

> psychologist or BPD manual. It's very liberating.

>

> Elle

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh man do I feel you.

My Dad is major BPD and a violent alcoholic.  He went bankrupt, I supported him

throughout a 3 year chap13 bankruptcy, when over I gave him 6grand for a home

downpayment, closing costs and furniture so he could marry his girlfriend who

was getting evicted from her apartment who had a paralyzed daughter.  I have a

learning disability that insurance doesn't cover and won't pay to get diagnosed

even if possible.  This has destroyed my academic career and any employment

stability.  I begged my mom, sister, aunt and BPD dad for cash to start a biz

or get disability testing and they decide not to help.  Anyways, after moving

into the new house from our rented trailer of 15yrs he kicks me out 2 months

later and gives me 2 days to find an apartment and car.   I scramble and

freak.  2 years later I contact him to beg for a 500 loan to keep my apartment

as I was laid off and show him my new retail store business startup.  I need

the cash just a bridge loan

to survive.  He says no and then convinces my new business partner I'm using

him and convinces him to illegally break our contract  I'm locked out of my own

biz now. I'm evicted, move into a motel 6 and contact my Mom.  She lets me

crash on her couch and I give up.  I get several jobs, get laid off again 2

years later and beg my Mother for 5grand to start a new biz for a prototype I

can immediately sell.   She tells me no and breaks her leg twice,  I take care

of her on and off for 14months and give up again.  I live 3 years without a

job.  She gets really pissed and guess who shows up again.. My Dad.  I'm glad

to hear from him, we get along great at first and I start yelling at him for

what he did.  A couple months later he shows up at my mother's and won't

leave.  I tell him it's a delicate situation here and to please leave.  I

shove him out the door, he waits outside until my Aunt shows up and lets him

in.  My Mother and Father discuss

what homeless shelter to dump me at and I freak out shoving him to the door

accidentally breaking his thumb.  My Mom freaks out and calls my sister.  My

Father leaves, my sister shows up and I start drinking downstairs.  Against my

better judgement I confront my Mother about siding with my Father and tell my

sister she has an illegitamite daughter.  My Mother loses all control, assaults

me, I hold her at arms length and yell at her.  She tells my sister to call the

cops, I leave, walk around the block, come back 2 hours later and the cops are

waiting.  They arrest me while they watch from my sister's car.  This is when

it gets really bad.  By court order I have to move out and the only place I can

go is my Father's house.  I can't even believe this was just the beginning of

the horror to come.  Suffice to say, he totals his car due to drunk driving and

gets arrested, I total my car from hitting a pole due to breakline failure at

the same time.

I get arrested when I assault him for serving me an eviction notice for

information he gleans from rifling through my personal diary. We walk everywhere

for 2 years.  I'm unemployed, he's on social security and a pension.  He

finally buys a car and has a massive stroke a week later.   I now take care of

him and his house.  I'm 33 and a little upset.

On the upside I found a way to reverse all neurological damage no matter how bad

using an electric field and several ways to make money but I have MAJOR trust

issues.  I don't think I could trust anyone ever, ever again with money...I'm

tryin' though.

Subject: Financial woes...

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Tuesday, December 14, 2010, 10:20 AM

 

Hello, I just wanted to share my current experience because I feel very

trapped and alone in this matter. I'm a 21 year-old college student

(junior) with a BPD nada. The problem at this point in my life is that

she controls 95% of my money in that we both have loans out for my

college, rent, etc., but she places them in her own savings account and

distributes it to me when I " ask. " I have no idea how this arrangement

got into place (I never signed up for this), but I know it has a lot to

do with the obvious issue: control.

Right now, I am unemployed between semesters, but when I am employed, I

make minimum wage and am only offered less than 15 hours a week. I'm a

full-time student and I've been struggling with my depression again

off-and-on for the last year or so, so the energy and time available for

a second job are slim to none. I would quit my current job if it weren't

for the fact that it's one of the few things I still enjoy in life!

All told, I have to request money for just about anything I want,

including: cat food, gas, food, rent, bills, doctors appointments, etc.

I know this is bad behavior for many reasons, including the fact that

one of my hot buttons (per how to stop walking on eggshells) is being

lorded over by her/controlled by her, which I know she really enjoys,

and having to deal with it. But any suggestion, as I'm sure you'll

understand, will be met with rage, tears, the cold shoulder,

victimization, or many of these at once--depends on where the roullette

lands today.

What I'm trying to ask is whether or not anyone else has had this

problem--even in a broader sense, in any way that the BP had something

you needed and, given the circumstances, you couldn't get it elsewhere

or escape--and if so, if you could share your stories, I'd greatly,

greatly appreciate it.

Thank you, everyone. It's so nice to finally hear that I'm not alone

from the fingertips of the people who are like me, rather than a distant

psychologist or BPD manual. It's very liberating.

Elle

[Guest guest]

Oh man do I feel you.

My Dad is major BPD and a violent alcoholic.  He went bankrupt, I supported him

throughout a 3 year chap13 bankruptcy, when over I gave him 6grand for a home

downpayment, closing costs and furniture so he could marry his girlfriend who

was getting evicted from her apartment who had a paralyzed daughter.  I have a

learning disability that insurance doesn't cover and won't pay to get diagnosed

even if possible.  This has destroyed my academic career and any employment

stability.  I begged my mom, sister, aunt and BPD dad for cash to start a biz

or get disability testing and they decide not to help.  Anyways, after moving

into the new house from our rented trailer of 15yrs he kicks me out 2 months

later and gives me 2 days to find an apartment and car.   I scramble and

freak.  2 years later I contact him to beg for a 500 loan to keep my apartment

as I was laid off and show him my new retail store business startup.  I need

the cash just a bridge loan

to survive.  He says no and then convinces my new business partner I'm using

him and convinces him to illegally break our contract  I'm locked out of my own

biz now. I'm evicted, move into a motel 6 and contact my Mom.  She lets me

crash on her couch and I give up.  I get several jobs, get laid off again 2

years later and beg my Mother for 5grand to start a new biz for a prototype I

can immediately sell.   She tells me no and breaks her leg twice,  I take care

of her on and off for 14months and give up again.  I live 3 years without a

job.  She gets really pissed and guess who shows up again.. My Dad.  I'm glad

to hear from him, we get along great at first and I start yelling at him for

what he did.  A couple months later he shows up at my mother's and won't

leave.  I tell him it's a delicate situation here and to please leave.  I

shove him out the door, he waits outside until my Aunt shows up and lets him

in.  My Mother and Father discuss

what homeless shelter to dump me at and I freak out shoving him to the door

accidentally breaking his thumb.  My Mom freaks out and calls my sister.  My

Father leaves, my sister shows up and I start drinking downstairs.  Against my

better judgement I confront my Mother about siding with my Father and tell my

sister she has an illegitamite daughter.  My Mother loses all control, assaults

me, I hold her at arms length and yell at her.  She tells my sister to call the

cops, I leave, walk around the block, come back 2 hours later and the cops are

waiting.  They arrest me while they watch from my sister's car.  This is when

it gets really bad.  By court order I have to move out and the only place I can

go is my Father's house.  I can't even believe this was just the beginning of

the horror to come.  Suffice to say, he totals his car due to drunk driving and

gets arrested, I total my car from hitting a pole due to breakline failure at

the same time.

I get arrested when I assault him for serving me an eviction notice for

information he gleans from rifling through my personal diary. We walk everywhere

for 2 years.  I'm unemployed, he's on social security and a pension.  He

finally buys a car and has a massive stroke a week later.   I now take care of

him and his house.  I'm 33 and a little upset.

On the upside I found a way to reverse all neurological damage no matter how bad

using an electric field and several ways to make money but I have MAJOR trust

issues.  I don't think I could trust anyone ever, ever again with money...I'm

tryin' though.

Subject: Financial woes...

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Tuesday, December 14, 2010, 10:20 AM

 

Hello, I just wanted to share my current experience because I feel very

trapped and alone in this matter. I'm a 21 year-old college student

(junior) with a BPD nada. The problem at this point in my life is that

she controls 95% of my money in that we both have loans out for my

college, rent, etc., but she places them in her own savings account and

distributes it to me when I " ask. " I have no idea how this arrangement

got into place (I never signed up for this), but I know it has a lot to

do with the obvious issue: control.

Right now, I am unemployed between semesters, but when I am employed, I

make minimum wage and am only offered less than 15 hours a week. I'm a

full-time student and I've been struggling with my depression again

off-and-on for the last year or so, so the energy and time available for

a second job are slim to none. I would quit my current job if it weren't

for the fact that it's one of the few things I still enjoy in life!

All told, I have to request money for just about anything I want,

including: cat food, gas, food, rent, bills, doctors appointments, etc.

I know this is bad behavior for many reasons, including the fact that

one of my hot buttons (per how to stop walking on eggshells) is being

lorded over by her/controlled by her, which I know she really enjoys,

and having to deal with it. But any suggestion, as I'm sure you'll

understand, will be met with rage, tears, the cold shoulder,

victimization, or many of these at once--depends on where the roullette

lands today.

What I'm trying to ask is whether or not anyone else has had this

problem--even in a broader sense, in any way that the BP had something

you needed and, given the circumstances, you couldn't get it elsewhere

or escape--and if so, if you could share your stories, I'd greatly,

greatly appreciate it.

Thank you, everyone. It's so nice to finally hear that I'm not alone

from the fingertips of the people who are like me, rather than a distant

psychologist or BPD manual. It's very liberating.

Elle

[Guest guest]

,

Wow, that's terrible, to say the least One of the worst things about a BP's

ability to trap you, I think, is cutting off outside support. They can be SO

PURSUASIVE. I know that doesn't even begin to cover it...Not to mention the

manipulation in your life, probably obligation or guilt, am I right? As far as

taking care of your parents even when they won't take care of you...

I wish you luck. Just wondering, do you see a therapist? I haven't been able to

see mine in awhile (one more thing I have to ask nada for, and she's never liked

the T, mostly because she taught me how to get well again!), but I know that if

you find one who is professional, insightful, and who you mesh well with, they

can really help you out mentally, even if the reality of the situation can't

change.

Again, best of luck. Hang in there,

Elle

>

>

> Subject: Financial woes...

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Date: Tuesday, December 14, 2010, 10:20 AM

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>  

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Hello, I just wanted to share my current experience because I feel very

>

> trapped and alone in this matter. I'm a 21 year-old college student

>

> (junior) with a BPD nada. The problem at this point in my life is that

>

> she controls 95% of my money in that we both have loans out for my

>

> college, rent, etc., but she places them in her own savings account and

>

> distributes it to me when I " ask. " I have no idea how this arrangement

>

> got into place (I never signed up for this), but I know it has a lot to

>

> do with the obvious issue: control.

>

>

>

> Right now, I am unemployed between semesters, but when I am employed, I

>

> make minimum wage and am only offered less than 15 hours a week. I'm a

>

> full-time student and I've been struggling with my depression again

>

> off-and-on for the last year or so, so the energy and time available for

>

> a second job are slim to none. I would quit my current job if it weren't

>

> for the fact that it's one of the few things I still enjoy in life!

>

>

>

> All told, I have to request money for just about anything I want,

>

> including: cat food, gas, food, rent, bills, doctors appointments, etc.

>

> I know this is bad behavior for many reasons, including the fact that

>

> one of my hot buttons (per how to stop walking on eggshells) is being

>

> lorded over by her/controlled by her, which I know she really enjoys,

>

> and having to deal with it. But any suggestion, as I'm sure you'll

>

> understand, will be met with rage, tears, the cold shoulder,

>

> victimization, or many of these at once--depends on where the roullette

>

> lands today.

>

>

>

> What I'm trying to ask is whether or not anyone else has had this

>

> problem--even in a broader sense, in any way that the BP had something

>

> you needed and, given the circumstances, you couldn't get it elsewhere

>

> or escape--and if so, if you could share your stories, I'd greatly,

>

> greatly appreciate it.

>

>

>

> Thank you, everyone. It's so nice to finally hear that I'm not alone

>

> from the fingertips of the people who are like me, rather than a distant

>

> psychologist or BPD manual. It's very liberating.

>

>

>

> Elle

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

WOW. I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like. Unfortunately

I know there are many, many bad psychologists, therapists, psychiatrists,

counselors, etc. out there. It's terrible, because their selfishness can ruin

people's lives...I'm sure you know what I mean.

I know some people who were fortunate enough to find a GOOD psych though. My

current therapist brought me back from the brink of suicidal thoughts many times

over the years. All I know is I wouldn't have survived my childhood with my nada

had I not had my T's voice of reason and the safety of our sessions.

But venting on here is definitely a good thing, too. I think you should continue

to get your story out there, as there are probably lots of people who could

benefit from hearing it!

Take care,

Elle

>

> You know, I had a therapist that was ordered by the court when my Father had

me arrested.  I have a learning disability that is hard, damn near impossible to

diagnose here in the U.S.  There is very little awareness of it and the problem

is the symptoms of the disability are interpreted as a mental illness.  It's

called dyspraxia and causes short term memory, concentration, motor control,

vision, speech, muscle strength, bla, bla, blah problems that are not consistent

and so trained psychologists interpret that as a mental disorder.  I've been to

neurologists and they see a seizure disorder but there is no treatment for

that.  Specialized testing is available but is cash only.  No insurance company

pays for it.  So, I whole heartedly hate psychologists and wish them the worst

possible death imaginable.  I needed the approval of the last one to move back

into my Father's house from living in a tent on the lawn and they made me wait 4

months to do

> so.  I finally threatened to sue and file a formal complaint with the

American Psychological Association and they conceded.  I've seen psychologists

since I was a little kid and all they did was torture me my whole life.  This

caused me not to go to college, carry on any friendships as a kid, and have a

nervous breakdown at 13 where I needed to be institutionalized for 8 months. 

>

> Anyhoo....I don't like them.  Too bad, they could've solved everything if they

weren't narcissistic about their god given ability to diagnose a fucking

feather. 

>

> I'm calm now..thanks for listening.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

WOW. I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like. Unfortunately

I know there are many, many bad psychologists, therapists, psychiatrists,

counselors, etc. out there. It's terrible, because their selfishness can ruin

people's lives...I'm sure you know what I mean.

I know some people who were fortunate enough to find a GOOD psych though. My

current therapist brought me back from the brink of suicidal thoughts many times

over the years. All I know is I wouldn't have survived my childhood with my nada

had I not had my T's voice of reason and the safety of our sessions.

But venting on here is definitely a good thing, too. I think you should continue

to get your story out there, as there are probably lots of people who could

benefit from hearing it!

Take care,

Elle

>

> You know, I had a therapist that was ordered by the court when my Father had

me arrested.  I have a learning disability that is hard, damn near impossible to

diagnose here in the U.S.  There is very little awareness of it and the problem

is the symptoms of the disability are interpreted as a mental illness.  It's

called dyspraxia and causes short term memory, concentration, motor control,

vision, speech, muscle strength, bla, bla, blah problems that are not consistent

and so trained psychologists interpret that as a mental disorder.  I've been to

neurologists and they see a seizure disorder but there is no treatment for

that.  Specialized testing is available but is cash only.  No insurance company

pays for it.  So, I whole heartedly hate psychologists and wish them the worst

possible death imaginable.  I needed the approval of the last one to move back

into my Father's house from living in a tent on the lawn and they made me wait 4

months to do

> so.  I finally threatened to sue and file a formal complaint with the

American Psychological Association and they conceded.  I've seen psychologists

since I was a little kid and all they did was torture me my whole life.  This

caused me not to go to college, carry on any friendships as a kid, and have a

nervous breakdown at 13 where I needed to be institutionalized for 8 months. 

>

> Anyhoo....I don't like them.  Too bad, they could've solved everything if they

weren't narcissistic about their god given ability to diagnose a fucking

feather. 

>

> I'm calm now..thanks for listening.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

WOW. I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like. Unfortunately

I know there are many, many bad psychologists, therapists, psychiatrists,

counselors, etc. out there. It's terrible, because their selfishness can ruin

people's lives...I'm sure you know what I mean.

I know some people who were fortunate enough to find a GOOD psych though. My

current therapist brought me back from the brink of suicidal thoughts many times

over the years. All I know is I wouldn't have survived my childhood with my nada

had I not had my T's voice of reason and the safety of our sessions.

But venting on here is definitely a good thing, too. I think you should continue

to get your story out there, as there are probably lots of people who could

benefit from hearing it!

Take care,

Elle

>

> You know, I had a therapist that was ordered by the court when my Father had

me arrested.  I have a learning disability that is hard, damn near impossible to

diagnose here in the U.S.  There is very little awareness of it and the problem

is the symptoms of the disability are interpreted as a mental illness.  It's

called dyspraxia and causes short term memory, concentration, motor control,

vision, speech, muscle strength, bla, bla, blah problems that are not consistent

and so trained psychologists interpret that as a mental disorder.  I've been to

neurologists and they see a seizure disorder but there is no treatment for

that.  Specialized testing is available but is cash only.  No insurance company

pays for it.  So, I whole heartedly hate psychologists and wish them the worst

possible death imaginable.  I needed the approval of the last one to move back

into my Father's house from living in a tent on the lawn and they made me wait 4

months to do

> so.  I finally threatened to sue and file a formal complaint with the

American Psychological Association and they conceded.  I've seen psychologists

since I was a little kid and all they did was torture me my whole life.  This

caused me not to go to college, carry on any friendships as a kid, and have a

nervous breakdown at 13 where I needed to be institutionalized for 8 months. 

>

> Anyhoo....I don't like them.  Too bad, they could've solved everything if they

weren't narcissistic about their god given ability to diagnose a fucking

feather. 

>

> I'm calm now..thanks for listening.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Elle,

Reading Girlscouts reply made me think. When I was your age and just really

learning that nada was indeed crazy, and I had been right, I was about 4 hours

away in another state going to college. Nada was always threatening to cut me

off. (This kept my passive father in line, too, b/c he knew he couldnt pay for

my college without her help.) I was terrified of having to leave my friends at

school and return to live with my parents. Looking back on it, I wish I would

have known that there were other options, and how to research them. For

example, I was an out of state student, so it would have been difficult for me

to pay tuition on my own. But I could have worked for a year and established

residency. Nada knew my fears and controlled me with them. And I also didnt

have the confidence to think I could make it on my own, but lots of people do

it.

You may want to look at other options.

Girlscout is right. It would take the wind right out of her sails.

Joanna

>

> >

> >

> >

> > Hello, I just wanted to share my current experience because I feel very

> > trapped and alone in this matter. I'm a 21 year-old college student

> > (junior) with a BPD nada. The problem at this point in my life is that

> > she controls 95% of my money in that we both have loans out for my

> > college, rent, etc., but she places them in her own savings account and

> > distributes it to me when I " ask. " I have no idea how this arrangement

> > got into place (I never signed up for this), but I know it has a lot to

> > do with the obvious issue: control.

> >

> > Right now, I am unemployed between semesters, but when I am employed, I

> > make minimum wage and am only offered less than 15 hours a week. I'm a

> > full-time student and I've been struggling with my depression again

> > off-and-on for the last year or so, so the energy and time available for

> > a second job are slim to none. I would quit my current job if it weren't

> > for the fact that it's one of the few things I still enjoy in life!

> >

> > All told, I have to request money for just about anything I want,

> > including: cat food, gas, food, rent, bills, doctors appointments, etc.

> > I know this is bad behavior for many reasons, including the fact that

> > one of my hot buttons (per how to stop walking on eggshells) is being

> > lorded over by her/controlled by her, which I know she really enjoys,

> > and having to deal with it. But any suggestion, as I'm sure you'll

> > understand, will be met with rage, tears, the cold shoulder,

> > victimization, or many of these at once--depends on where the roullette

> > lands today.

> >

> > What I'm trying to ask is whether or not anyone else has had this

> > problem--even in a broader sense, in any way that the BP had something

> > you needed and, given the circumstances, you couldn't get it elsewhere

> > or escape--and if so, if you could share your stories, I'd greatly,

> > greatly appreciate it.

> >

> > Thank you, everyone. It's so nice to finally hear that I'm not alone

> > from the fingertips of the people who are like me, rather than a distant

> > psychologist or BPD manual. It's very liberating.

> >

> > Elle

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Elle,

Reading Girlscouts reply made me think. When I was your age and just really

learning that nada was indeed crazy, and I had been right, I was about 4 hours

away in another state going to college. Nada was always threatening to cut me

off. (This kept my passive father in line, too, b/c he knew he couldnt pay for

my college without her help.) I was terrified of having to leave my friends at

school and return to live with my parents. Looking back on it, I wish I would

have known that there were other options, and how to research them. For

example, I was an out of state student, so it would have been difficult for me

to pay tuition on my own. But I could have worked for a year and established

residency. Nada knew my fears and controlled me with them. And I also didnt

have the confidence to think I could make it on my own, but lots of people do

it.

You may want to look at other options.

Girlscout is right. It would take the wind right out of her sails.

Joanna

>

> >

> >

> >

> > Hello, I just wanted to share my current experience because I feel very

> > trapped and alone in this matter. I'm a 21 year-old college student

> > (junior) with a BPD nada. The problem at this point in my life is that

> > she controls 95% of my money in that we both have loans out for my

> > college, rent, etc., but she places them in her own savings account and

> > distributes it to me when I " ask. " I have no idea how this arrangement

> > got into place (I never signed up for this), but I know it has a lot to

> > do with the obvious issue: control.

> >

> > Right now, I am unemployed between semesters, but when I am employed, I

> > make minimum wage and am only offered less than 15 hours a week. I'm a

> > full-time student and I've been struggling with my depression again

> > off-and-on for the last year or so, so the energy and time available for

> > a second job are slim to none. I would quit my current job if it weren't

> > for the fact that it's one of the few things I still enjoy in life!

> >

> > All told, I have to request money for just about anything I want,

> > including: cat food, gas, food, rent, bills, doctors appointments, etc.

> > I know this is bad behavior for many reasons, including the fact that

> > one of my hot buttons (per how to stop walking on eggshells) is being

> > lorded over by her/controlled by her, which I know she really enjoys,

> > and having to deal with it. But any suggestion, as I'm sure you'll

> > understand, will be met with rage, tears, the cold shoulder,

> > victimization, or many of these at once--depends on where the roullette

> > lands today.

> >

> > What I'm trying to ask is whether or not anyone else has had this

> > problem--even in a broader sense, in any way that the BP had something

> > you needed and, given the circumstances, you couldn't get it elsewhere

> > or escape--and if so, if you could share your stories, I'd greatly,

> > greatly appreciate it.

> >

> > Thank you, everyone. It's so nice to finally hear that I'm not alone

> > from the fingertips of the people who are like me, rather than a distant

> > psychologist or BPD manual. It's very liberating.

> >

> > Elle

> >

> >