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Hi ,First off... I can totally relate to your postings. I am a divorced, single mom of two little girls, ages 9 and 8. Plus I work, and go to school full time. Being a mom and trying to balance what to teach kids is not an easy job. It's even harder to do alone. I have battles with my kids all of the time, and sometimes those are over food. For a few years, my children got to see me use food as rewards, and as punishments. No longer is that the case. I have learned that if I want my children to have a healthy relationship with food, they have to see me modeling it first. That being said, all of us have learned from our experiences. IE not only reaches into

food, but into other areas of life. One thought that comes to mind is you mentioning sugary cereal. My children don't usually do sugary cereal because we have talked about it. However, recently my daughter wanted some and wanted it every morning for breakfast. She is also notorious for not brushing her teeth as well as she should. We had a discussion about the consequences of eating sugary foods and she still insisted that she wanted it, and of course she would brush her teeth. She has gone through the box of cereal, and she had to go to the dentist and now has a cavity that needs to be filled. She's not pleased, in fact she was incredibly angry with me. I told her that I understood she was upset, but that she was getting to the age where she needed to make choices and understand that there are consequences for ALL choices that we make, no matter how big or how small they are. She then informed me,

"Mom, the cereal wasn't even that good. Can we please not get it anymore?" Granted, my children are older than yours, and are at the age where I can start to hold them responsible for making choices.I think you are doing some great things with them. You understand as a mom already, some choices that are not wise for them, and you are making good decisions for them. What's so wonderful about this, is that later in life those decisions will be automatic and will help promote good choices. The fruit issue for example. You could let your child eat as much fruit as he wanted, but you are helping him to understand that while he may enjoy it, his body is not asking for it in the quantities that his brain may think it wants. For my kids, always drinking water was a choice that I instilled in them very early. They

know that there are other options out there, but they also know all the good things that water does for you. It is very rare now that we go anywhere that my children don't ask for water as their beverage choice. (And it saves me money, since water is free most of the time!)As I wrote in a post that I responded to earlier this week, mealtimes at my house are not "normal." Mealtimes here are not about what is on the plate, it's about the coming together as family and sharing conversations and time. I do always have the main meal, but I also have a variety of other things available. These things are quick, and easy and don't require much prep. Maybe opening a can, or reheating something. Is it perfect? Absolutely not, but right now it's working for us. It's also teaching my children that their bodies and their choices will be heard and respected.

We are not the normal family and I've never tried to make us into one. We are the family that occasionally orders just dessert in a restaurant. We are the family that eats ice cream for breakfast. We are the family that goes to Target on a rainy day and tries on all the shoes in the shoe section and has a fashion parade. (We do pick them all up and put them back) We eat Jello with chopsticks. We sometimes eat a cake with just our fingers. I guess my point is that I spent 25 years of my life learning about rules, and dos and do nots. And you know what... I was miserable the whole time. Now I've spent a few years learning that food can be fun, and rules are made for breaking. My time here is too short to be worrying about how many grapes I ate, or if my chicken breast was six or eight ounces.

I don't think my way can work for everyone. I think every person needs to come to a place of peace with food and that place of peace is different for each of us. I hope that as you continue in your journey you make changes that are healthy, but also the best for your family and your situation. Because in the end... that's the most important thing.Blessings,AmyTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, July 31, 2011 4:40 PMSubject: Keeping children intuitive

Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat what they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them intuitive eaters. I use the phrase "keep them" because I think children are naturally intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed up. However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with my children while still being true to that.

I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son and peanut butter and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't think those cereals make for a "complete breakfast." I try to always ask them, "Are you hungry?" and "Are you

full?" instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other thing is both of my kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats for that reason.

I know that how we are raised sets us up for our relationship with food. I think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky Charms. Maybe I am wrong?

I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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Hi ,First off... I can totally relate to your postings. I am a divorced, single mom of two little girls, ages 9 and 8. Plus I work, and go to school full time. Being a mom and trying to balance what to teach kids is not an easy job. It's even harder to do alone. I have battles with my kids all of the time, and sometimes those are over food. For a few years, my children got to see me use food as rewards, and as punishments. No longer is that the case. I have learned that if I want my children to have a healthy relationship with food, they have to see me modeling it first. That being said, all of us have learned from our experiences. IE not only reaches into

food, but into other areas of life. One thought that comes to mind is you mentioning sugary cereal. My children don't usually do sugary cereal because we have talked about it. However, recently my daughter wanted some and wanted it every morning for breakfast. She is also notorious for not brushing her teeth as well as she should. We had a discussion about the consequences of eating sugary foods and she still insisted that she wanted it, and of course she would brush her teeth. She has gone through the box of cereal, and she had to go to the dentist and now has a cavity that needs to be filled. She's not pleased, in fact she was incredibly angry with me. I told her that I understood she was upset, but that she was getting to the age where she needed to make choices and understand that there are consequences for ALL choices that we make, no matter how big or how small they are. She then informed me,

"Mom, the cereal wasn't even that good. Can we please not get it anymore?" Granted, my children are older than yours, and are at the age where I can start to hold them responsible for making choices.I think you are doing some great things with them. You understand as a mom already, some choices that are not wise for them, and you are making good decisions for them. What's so wonderful about this, is that later in life those decisions will be automatic and will help promote good choices. The fruit issue for example. You could let your child eat as much fruit as he wanted, but you are helping him to understand that while he may enjoy it, his body is not asking for it in the quantities that his brain may think it wants. For my kids, always drinking water was a choice that I instilled in them very early. They

know that there are other options out there, but they also know all the good things that water does for you. It is very rare now that we go anywhere that my children don't ask for water as their beverage choice. (And it saves me money, since water is free most of the time!)As I wrote in a post that I responded to earlier this week, mealtimes at my house are not "normal." Mealtimes here are not about what is on the plate, it's about the coming together as family and sharing conversations and time. I do always have the main meal, but I also have a variety of other things available. These things are quick, and easy and don't require much prep. Maybe opening a can, or reheating something. Is it perfect? Absolutely not, but right now it's working for us. It's also teaching my children that their bodies and their choices will be heard and respected.

We are not the normal family and I've never tried to make us into one. We are the family that occasionally orders just dessert in a restaurant. We are the family that eats ice cream for breakfast. We are the family that goes to Target on a rainy day and tries on all the shoes in the shoe section and has a fashion parade. (We do pick them all up and put them back) We eat Jello with chopsticks. We sometimes eat a cake with just our fingers. I guess my point is that I spent 25 years of my life learning about rules, and dos and do nots. And you know what... I was miserable the whole time. Now I've spent a few years learning that food can be fun, and rules are made for breaking. My time here is too short to be worrying about how many grapes I ate, or if my chicken breast was six or eight ounces.

I don't think my way can work for everyone. I think every person needs to come to a place of peace with food and that place of peace is different for each of us. I hope that as you continue in your journey you make changes that are healthy, but also the best for your family and your situation. Because in the end... that's the most important thing.Blessings,AmyTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, July 31, 2011 4:40 PMSubject: Keeping children intuitive

Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat what they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them intuitive eaters. I use the phrase "keep them" because I think children are naturally intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed up. However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with my children while still being true to that.

I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son and peanut butter and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't think those cereals make for a "complete breakfast." I try to always ask them, "Are you hungry?" and "Are you

full?" instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other thing is both of my kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats for that reason.

I know that how we are raised sets us up for our relationship with food. I think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky Charms. Maybe I am wrong?

I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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I'm interested to hear what others say to . I have 3 kids 7, 10, 12 and I've had some control over what they eat. I would never let them eat a candy bar for breakfast! Now that I'm legalizing all foods I do have a lot of junk food in the house right now. My youngest would live on junk if I let him. I told them this morning they could eat any of the junk in the house but only when they were hungry. Well for lunch my youngest was going to have oreos! I cringed! Well I told him he had to have something good for him first so he had 1/2 a pb & j and about 5 oreos! I'm really struggling w/ this! There is a section in the Overcoming Overeating book about allowing kids to eat whatever and it says the fascination w/ eating anything wears off quickly just like it does us! It still makes me nervous!!

Barb

Subject: Keeping children intuitiveTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, July 31, 2011, 4:40 PM

Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat what they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them intuitive eaters. I use the phrase "keep them" because I think children are naturally intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed up. However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with my children while still being true to that.I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son

and peanut butter and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't think those cereals make for a "complete breakfast." I try to always ask them, "Are you hungry?" and "Are you full?" instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other thing is both of my kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats for that reason.I know that how we are raised sets us

up for our relationship with food. I think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky Charms. Maybe I am wrong?I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?Any thoughts are appreciated!

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I'm interested to hear what others say to . I have 3 kids 7, 10, 12 and I've had some control over what they eat. I would never let them eat a candy bar for breakfast! Now that I'm legalizing all foods I do have a lot of junk food in the house right now. My youngest would live on junk if I let him. I told them this morning they could eat any of the junk in the house but only when they were hungry. Well for lunch my youngest was going to have oreos! I cringed! Well I told him he had to have something good for him first so he had 1/2 a pb & j and about 5 oreos! I'm really struggling w/ this! There is a section in the Overcoming Overeating book about allowing kids to eat whatever and it says the fascination w/ eating anything wears off quickly just like it does us! It still makes me nervous!!

Barb

Subject: Keeping children intuitiveTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, July 31, 2011, 4:40 PM

Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat what they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them intuitive eaters. I use the phrase "keep them" because I think children are naturally intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed up. However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with my children while still being true to that.I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son

and peanut butter and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't think those cereals make for a "complete breakfast." I try to always ask them, "Are you hungry?" and "Are you full?" instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other thing is both of my kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats for that reason.I know that how we are raised sets us

up for our relationship with food. I think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky Charms. Maybe I am wrong?I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?Any thoughts are appreciated!

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Well, this is my take on it, and what I experienced. The very thing my mom, husband, kids, anyone said I shouldn't eat..it was the very thing I wanted. How would your son feel if he ate nothing but so called "junk" food for a week? My guess is miserable. Last night I made a cake. It is a cake I rarely have or make. I decided I would eat all I wanted. I had three pieces, two little and one big. After I had it I felt sick..miserable. I felt like I needed something that seemed more like "real" food to me. I had some tofu and noodles. Yes I had the cake first, but I didn't feel great. There's half a cake in there. I woke up wrestling with whether to have it. I decided I wanted some egg whites with arugula, onions, and a bit of cheese, and a piece of whole wheat toast. I am full, and the cake is still there. I can have it if I want, but as of now I don't. I am not sure how long it would take your son to want something other than oreos, but it will happen. AliaI'm interested to hear what others say to . I have 3 kids 7, 10, 12 and I've had some control over what they eat. I would never let them eat a candy bar for breakfast! Now that I'm legalizing all foods I do have a lot of junk food in the house right now. My youngest would live on junk if I let him. I told them this morning they could eat any of the junk in the house but only when they were hungry. Well for lunch my youngest was going to have oreos! I cringed! Well I told him he had to have something good for him first so he had 1/2 a pb & j and about 5 oreos! I'm really struggling w/ this! There is a section in the Overcoming Overeating book about allowing kids to eat whatever and it says the fascination w/ eating anything wears off quickly just like it does us! It still makes me nervous!! Barb

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Hi,I read your interesting post and the responses you have received thus far. I agree with you, and I commend you for recognizing how as children and adults, we are all intuitive.Since you have already received advice, I

thought I would just add one more thing...As I am both a parent and a psychotherapist who espouses the principles that IE utilizes, I have personally traversed this journey many times. I often ask my child, when he says he is still hungry, to check in with

both his brain and his tummy. It has led to many very interesting discussions about what is going on his body. To add a little levity, though, I thought I might share this...Recently, he told me that his tummy was indeed not hungry, and when I asked him how he knew, he said that his tummy had a high pitched voice. He proceeded to have the tummy explain about the digestive process in a high pitched voice, while the brain dissented in the low pitch voice. ahh...out of the mouth [pun intended] of our precious little onesFrom:

rhyst To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, July 31, 2011 1:40 PMSubject: Keeping children intuitive

Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat what they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them intuitive eaters. I use the phrase "keep them" because I think children are naturally intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed up. However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with my children while still being true to that.

I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son and peanut butter and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't think those cereals make for a "complete breakfast." I try to always ask them, "Are you hungry?" and "Are you

full?" instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other thing is both of my kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats for that reason.

I know that how we are raised sets us up for our relationship with food. I think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky Charms. Maybe I am wrong?

I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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Hi,I read your interesting post and the responses you have received thus far. I agree with you, and I commend you for recognizing how as children and adults, we are all intuitive.Since you have already received advice, I

thought I would just add one more thing...As I am both a parent and a psychotherapist who espouses the principles that IE utilizes, I have personally traversed this journey many times. I often ask my child, when he says he is still hungry, to check in with

both his brain and his tummy. It has led to many very interesting discussions about what is going on his body. To add a little levity, though, I thought I might share this...Recently, he told me that his tummy was indeed not hungry, and when I asked him how he knew, he said that his tummy had a high pitched voice. He proceeded to have the tummy explain about the digestive process in a high pitched voice, while the brain dissented in the low pitch voice. ahh...out of the mouth [pun intended] of our precious little onesFrom:

rhyst To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, July 31, 2011 1:40 PMSubject: Keeping children intuitive

Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat what they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them intuitive eaters. I use the phrase "keep them" because I think children are naturally intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed up. However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with my children while still being true to that.

I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son and peanut butter and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't think those cereals make for a "complete breakfast." I try to always ask them, "Are you hungry?" and "Are you

full?" instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other thing is both of my kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats for that reason.

I know that how we are raised sets us up for our relationship with food. I think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky Charms. Maybe I am wrong?

I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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Hi,I read your interesting post and the responses you have received thus far. I agree with you, and I commend you for recognizing how as children and adults, we are all intuitive.Since you have already received advice, I

thought I would just add one more thing...As I am both a parent and a psychotherapist who espouses the principles that IE utilizes, I have personally traversed this journey many times. I often ask my child, when he says he is still hungry, to check in with

both his brain and his tummy. It has led to many very interesting discussions about what is going on his body. To add a little levity, though, I thought I might share this...Recently, he told me that his tummy was indeed not hungry, and when I asked him how he knew, he said that his tummy had a high pitched voice. He proceeded to have the tummy explain about the digestive process in a high pitched voice, while the brain dissented in the low pitch voice. ahh...out of the mouth [pun intended] of our precious little onesFrom:

rhyst To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Sunday, July 31, 2011 1:40 PMSubject: Keeping children intuitive

Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat what they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them intuitive eaters. I use the phrase "keep them" because I think children are naturally intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed up. However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with my children while still being true to that.

I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son and peanut butter and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't think those cereals make for a "complete breakfast." I try to always ask them, "Are you hungry?" and "Are you

full?" instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other thing is both of my kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats for that reason.

I know that how we are raised sets us up for our relationship with food. I think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky Charms. Maybe I am wrong?

I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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Hi, Really funny and cute about child's comment.  Maybe I can use that too. Thanks Sandy

 

Hi,I read your interesting post and the responses you have received thus far. I agree with you, and I commend you for recognizing how as children and adults, we are all intuitive.

Since you have already received advice, I

thought I would just add one more thing...As I am both a parent and a psychotherapist who espouses the principles that IE utilizes, I have personally traversed this journey many times. I often ask my child, when he says he is still hungry, to check in with

both his brain and his tummy. It has led to many very interesting discussions about what is going on his body. To add a little levity,  though, I thought I might share this...Recently, he told me that his tummy was indeed not hungry, and when I asked him how he knew, he said that his tummy had a high pitched voice. He proceeded to have the tummy explain about the digestive process in a high pitched voice, while the brain dissented in the low pitch voice. 

ahh...out of the mouth [pun intended] of our precious little ones

From:

rhyst To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sunday, July 31, 2011 1:40 PMSubject: Keeping children intuitive

 

Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat what they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them intuitive eaters. I use the phrase " keep them " because I think children are naturally intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed up. However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with my children while still being true to that.

I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son and peanut butter and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't think those cereals make for a " complete breakfast. " I try to always ask them, " Are you hungry? " and " Are you

full? " instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other thing is both of my kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats for that reason.

I know that how we are raised sets us up for our relationship with food. I think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky Charms. Maybe I am wrong?

I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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Hi, Really funny and cute about child's comment.  Maybe I can use that too. Thanks Sandy

 

Hi,I read your interesting post and the responses you have received thus far. I agree with you, and I commend you for recognizing how as children and adults, we are all intuitive.

Since you have already received advice, I

thought I would just add one more thing...As I am both a parent and a psychotherapist who espouses the principles that IE utilizes, I have personally traversed this journey many times. I often ask my child, when he says he is still hungry, to check in with

both his brain and his tummy. It has led to many very interesting discussions about what is going on his body. To add a little levity,  though, I thought I might share this...Recently, he told me that his tummy was indeed not hungry, and when I asked him how he knew, he said that his tummy had a high pitched voice. He proceeded to have the tummy explain about the digestive process in a high pitched voice, while the brain dissented in the low pitch voice. 

ahh...out of the mouth [pun intended] of our precious little ones

From:

rhyst To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sunday, July 31, 2011 1:40 PMSubject: Keeping children intuitive

 

Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat what they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them intuitive eaters. I use the phrase " keep them " because I think children are naturally intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed up. However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with my children while still being true to that.

I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son and peanut butter and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't think those cereals make for a " complete breakfast. " I try to always ask them, " Are you hungry? " and " Are you

full? " instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other thing is both of my kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats for that reason.

I know that how we are raised sets us up for our relationship with food. I think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky Charms. Maybe I am wrong?

I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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Posted
Posted

Hi, Really funny and cute about child's comment.  Maybe I can use that too. Thanks Sandy

 

Hi,I read your interesting post and the responses you have received thus far. I agree with you, and I commend you for recognizing how as children and adults, we are all intuitive.

Since you have already received advice, I

thought I would just add one more thing...As I am both a parent and a psychotherapist who espouses the principles that IE utilizes, I have personally traversed this journey many times. I often ask my child, when he says he is still hungry, to check in with

both his brain and his tummy. It has led to many very interesting discussions about what is going on his body. To add a little levity,  though, I thought I might share this...Recently, he told me that his tummy was indeed not hungry, and when I asked him how he knew, he said that his tummy had a high pitched voice. He proceeded to have the tummy explain about the digestive process in a high pitched voice, while the brain dissented in the low pitch voice. 

ahh...out of the mouth [pun intended] of our precious little ones

From:

rhyst To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Sent: Sunday, July 31, 2011 1:40 PMSubject: Keeping children intuitive

 

Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat what they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them intuitive eaters. I use the phrase " keep them " because I think children are naturally intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed up. However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with my children while still being true to that.

I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son and peanut butter and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't think those cereals make for a " complete breakfast. " I try to always ask them, " Are you hungry? " and " Are you

full? " instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other thing is both of my kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats for that reason.

I know that how we are raised sets us up for our relationship with food. I think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky Charms. Maybe I am wrong?

I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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Posted

What a FUN reaction from your little one! Sure made me smile and I'm sure you

got lots of feedback from his sharing too. Thanks for sharing!

Wow and great to have a professional in our group too. Fabulous to know this

practice is expanding and being recognized and utilized by people who have

creditable influence over others.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

I often ask my child, when he says he is still hungry, to check in with both his

brain and his tummy. It has led to many very interesting discussions about what

is going on his body. 

>

> To add a little levity,  though, I thought I might share this...Recently, he

told me that his tummy was indeed not hungry, and when I asked him how he knew,

he said that his tummy had a high pitched voice. He proceeded to have the tummy

explain about the digestive process in a high pitched voice, while the brain

dissented in the low pitch voice. 

>

>

> ahh...out of the mouth [pun intended] of our precious little ones

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Posted

What a FUN reaction from your little one! Sure made me smile and I'm sure you

got lots of feedback from his sharing too. Thanks for sharing!

Wow and great to have a professional in our group too. Fabulous to know this

practice is expanding and being recognized and utilized by people who have

creditable influence over others.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

I often ask my child, when he says he is still hungry, to check in with both his

brain and his tummy. It has led to many very interesting discussions about what

is going on his body. 

>

> To add a little levity,  though, I thought I might share this...Recently, he

told me that his tummy was indeed not hungry, and when I asked him how he knew,

he said that his tummy had a high pitched voice. He proceeded to have the tummy

explain about the digestive process in a high pitched voice, while the brain

dissented in the low pitch voice. 

>

>

> ahh...out of the mouth [pun intended] of our precious little ones

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Thank you so much for your insight, Amy!

I think I need to " lighten up " as a mom. This scares me! I had to take IE in

very small steps and I think I need to take small steps with my kids. I love

how you explained things with your daughter about sugary cereal and cavities. I

need to try that as well.

This week I've asked them more what they would like to eat and if they are

hungry or full. My son said he was still hungry and wanted seconds of dessert

and I said okay. I can't say I'll be doing ice cream for breakfast any time

soon but we did have chocolate chip waffles and whipped cream for breakfast the

other day, and they were thrilled.

Thank you for showing me an example of a super fun single mom!

>

> Hi ,

>

> First off... I can totally relate to your postings.  I am a divorced, single

mom of two little girls, ages 9 and 8.  Plus I work, and go to school full

time.  Being a mom and trying to balance what to teach kids is not an easy

job.  It's even harder to do alone. 

>

>

> I have battles with my kids all of the time, and sometimes those are over

food.  For a few years, my children got to see me use food as rewards, and as

punishments.  No longer is that the case.  I have learned that if I want my

children to have a healthy relationship with food, they have to see me modeling

it first.  That being said, all of us have learned from our experiences.  IE

not only reaches into food, but into other areas of life.  One thought that

comes to mind is you mentioning sugary cereal.  My children don't usually do

sugary cereal because we have talked about it.  However, recently my daughter

wanted some and wanted it every morning for breakfast.  She is also notorious

for not brushing her teeth as well as she should.  We had a discussion about

the consequences of eating sugary foods and she still insisted that she wanted

it, and of course she would brush her teeth.  She has gone through the box of

cereal, and she had to go to

> the dentist and now has a cavity that needs to be filled.  She's not

pleased, in fact she was incredibly angry with me.  I told her that I

understood she was upset, but that she was getting to the age where she needed

to make choices and understand that there are consequences for ALL choices that

we make, no matter how big or how small they are.  She then informed me, " Mom,

the cereal wasn't even that good.  Can we please not get it anymore? " Granted,

my children are older than yours, and are at the age where I can start to hold

them responsible for making choices.

>

> I think you are doing some great things with them.  You understand as a mom

already, some choices that are not wise for them, and you are making good

decisions for them.  What's so wonderful about this, is that later in life

those decisions will be automatic and will help promote good choices.  The

fruit issue for example.  You could let your child eat as much fruit as he

wanted, but you are helping him to understand that while he may enjoy it, his

body is not asking for it in the quantities that his brain may think it wants. 

>

>

> For my kids, always drinking water was a choice that I instilled in them very

early.  They know that there are other options out there, but they also know

all the good things that water does for you.  It is very rare now that we go

anywhere that my children don't ask for water as their beverage choice.  (And

it saves me money, since water is free most of the time!)

>

> As I wrote in a post that I responded to earlier this week, mealtimes at my

house are not " normal. "   Mealtimes here are not about what is on the plate,

it's about the coming together as family and sharing conversations and time.  I

do always have the main meal, but I also have a variety of other things

available.  These things are quick, and easy and don't require much prep. 

Maybe opening a can, or reheating something.  Is it perfect?  Absolutely not,

but right now it's working for us.  It's also teaching my children that their

bodies and their choices will be heard and respected. 

>

>

> We are not the normal family and I've never tried to make us into one.  We

are the family that occasionally orders just dessert in a restaurant.  We are

the family that eats ice cream for breakfast.  We are the family that goes to

Target on a rainy day and tries on all the shoes in the shoe section and has a

fashion parade.  (We do pick them all up and put them back)  We eat Jello with

chopsticks.  We sometimes eat a cake with just our fingers.  I guess my point

is that I spent 25 years of my life learning about rules, and dos and do nots. 

And you know what... I was miserable the whole time.  Now I've spent a few

years learning that food can be fun, and rules are made for breaking.  My time

here is too short to be worrying about how many grapes I ate, or if my chicken

breast was six or eight ounces. 

>

>

> I don't think my way can work for everyone.  I think every person needs to

come to a place of peace with food and that place of peace is different for each

of us.  I hope that as you continue in your journey you make changes that are

healthy, but also the best for your family and your situation.  Because in the

end... that's the most important thing.

>

> Blessings,

> Amy

>

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: IntuitiveEating_Support

> Sent: Sunday, July 31, 2011 4:40 PM

> Subject: Keeping children intuitive

>

>

>  

> Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat

what they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them

intuitive eaters. I use the phrase " keep them " because I think children are

naturally intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed

up. However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my

philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with

my children while still being true to that.

>

> I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in

most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and

with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the

parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one

who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for

dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son and peanut butter

and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to

introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try

everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for

dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead

of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't

think those cereals make for a " complete breakfast. " I try to always ask them,

" Are you hungry? " and " Are you

> full? " instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other

thing is both of my kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both

sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed

junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on

fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats

for that reason.

>

> I know that how we are raised sets us up for our relationship with food. I

think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself

were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be

thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad

relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I

was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky

Charms. Maybe I am wrong?

>

> I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?

>

> Any thoughts are appreciated!

>

>

>

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I LOVE your little boy's response to explaining how his brain and tummy were

talking!! It means a lot to hear that you as both a parent and a

psychotherapist ask your children to check in with their bodies. Maybe that is

where we really get thrown off from being intuitive eaters as we grow up,

because no one ever asks us what is going on in our tummies, our brains or our

hearts. Most of all I want to have open conversations with my children as they

grow up, and IE could be the start of them trusting me to listen and respect

what is going on inside of them. Sometimes I get so consumed with just

surviving the day that I never stop to validate their hunger levels or their

emotions, or for that matter, my own. IE continues to surprise me since it's

not really about eating, it's about really living!

Thank you for your insight!

>

> Hi,

>

> I read your interesting post and the responses you have received thus far. I

agree with you, and I commend you for recognizing how as children and adults, we

are all intuitive.

>

> Since you have already received advice, I thought I would just add one more

thing...As I am both a parent and a psychotherapist who espouses the principles

that IE utilizes, I have personally traversed this journey many times. I often

ask my child, when he says he is still hungry, to check in with both his brain

and his tummy. It has led to many very interesting discussions about what is

going on his body. 

>

> To add a little levity,  though, I thought I might share this...Recently, he

told me that his tummy was indeed not hungry, and when I asked him how he knew,

he said that his tummy had a high pitched voice. He proceeded to have the tummy

explain about the digestive process in a high pitched voice, while the brain

dissented in the low pitch voice. 

>

>

> ahh...out of the mouth [pun intended] of our precious little ones

>

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: IntuitiveEating_Support

> Sent: Sunday, July 31, 2011 1:40 PM

> Subject: Keeping children intuitive

>

>

>  

> Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat

what they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them

intuitive eaters. I use the phrase " keep them " because I think children are

naturally intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed

up. However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my

philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with

my children while still being true to that.

>

> I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in

most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and

with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the

parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one

who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for

dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son and peanut butter

and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to

introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try

everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for

dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead

of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't

think those cereals make for a " complete breakfast. " I try to always ask them,

" Are you hungry? " and " Are you

> full? " instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other

thing is both of my kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both

sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed

junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on

fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats

for that reason.

>

> I know that how we are raised sets us up for our relationship with food. I

think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself

were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be

thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad

relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I

was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky

Charms. Maybe I am wrong?

>

> I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?

>

> Any thoughts are appreciated!

>

>

>

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Hi Barb,

I'm glad I'm not the only one who cringes at the thought of all the sweets their

kids would eat if you let them eat just whatever they wanted. I have decided to

just slowly let them make more decisions as to what they want to eat and loosen

up a little on the matter, but it's really not easy for me. I am also trying to

ask all the time if they are hungry or full.

I am curious if your little Oreo lover has gotten tired of Oreos yet?

>

>

>

> Subject: Keeping children intuitive

> To: IntuitiveEating_Support

> Date: Sunday, July 31, 2011, 4:40 PM

>

>

>  

>

>

>

> Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat what

they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them intuitive

eaters. I use the phrase " keep them " because I think children are naturally

intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed up.

However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my

philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with

my children while still being true to that.

>

> I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in

most ways, but since they were born I have been structured with their sleep and

with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the

parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one

who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for

dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son and peanut butter

and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to

introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try

everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for

dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead

of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't

think those cereals make for a " complete breakfast. " I try to always ask them,

" Are you hungry? " and " Are you

> full? " instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other

thing is both of my kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both

sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed

junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on

fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats for

that reason.

>

> I know that how we are raised sets us up for our relationship with food. I

think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself

were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be

thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad relationship

with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I was allowed

dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky Charms. Maybe

I am wrong?

>

> I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?

>

> Any thoughts are appreciated!

>

>

>

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Posted

Nope not tired of Oreos! In fact, I only had about 4 out of the whole package and went to get 1 today and there was only 3 left. I think all 3 kids have been in them. I guess it's time to stock up and make us all sick of Oreos! It's time we all make peace with them! lol

Barb

Subject: Re: Keeping children intuitiveTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, August 4, 2011, 7:07 PM

Hi Barb, I'm glad I'm not the only one who cringes at the thought of all the sweets their kids would eat if you let them eat just whatever they wanted. I have decided to just slowly let them make more decisions as to what they want to eat and loosen up a little on the matter, but it's really not easy for me. I am also trying to ask all the time if they are hungry or full. I am curious if your little Oreo lover has gotten tired of Oreos yet?> > > > Subject: Keeping children intuitive> To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Date: Sunday, July 31, 2011, 4:40 PM> > > Â > > > > Recently, there was a conversation on here about allowing children to eat what they are craving in order to demystify forbidden foods and keep them intuitive eaters. I use the phrase "keep them" because I think children are naturally intuitive eaters, and it's usually later in life that we get all mixed up. However, this concept of letting kids eat whatever really conflicts with my philosophy as a mom. I need some advice on how to make some small changes with my children while still being true to that.> > I am a single mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old. I am not very structured in most ways, but since

they were born I have been structured with their sleep and with their food because it makes them and me happier. I believe that as the parent I am the one in charge and the one who knows best, and so I am the one who says when it is bedtime and what's for dinner. If I make baked ziti for dinner, I'm not going to then make mac and cheese for my son and peanut butter and jelly for my daughter because that's what they would prefer. I like to introduce them to different foods, and I insist that they at least try everything and eat a reasonable amount before they can have something sweet for dessert. They wanted me to buy some super sugary cereals and I did, but instead of eating them for breakfast I insist we eat them at snack time because I don't think those cereals make for a "complete breakfast." I try to always ask them, "Are you hungry?" and "Are you> full?" instead of insisting they finish what is on their plates. The other thing is both of my

kids are small and could stand to gain weight (because both sides of the family are small), but I don't want to get them expecting processed junk food either. Left to their own decisions, I know my son would overeat on fruit which causes him to have diarrhea. I am careful how much fruit he eats for that reason.> > I know that how we are raised sets us up for our relationship with food. I think my mom's example of emotional eating and her insecurities with herself were a part of my eating struggles, but more so it was the peer pressures to be thin that made food into the enemy. I don't think I got into a bad relationship with food because I had to finish everything on my plate before I was allowed dessert growing up or because my mom would never let us have Lucky Charms. Maybe I am wrong?> > I am wondering what the rest of you feel is the best approach with children?> > Any thoughts are appreciated! >

> >

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Posted

,You are very welcome! I know that being a single mom is incredibly difficult. And I give props to all of us who do it. I think it sounds like you are doing a great job, and lightening up with come with time and more experience. IE to me is best done in small steps, so don't worry. I know one of the best ways that I made "junk" food okay with myself as far as offering as much as my kids wanted was to try to remember when my kids went through other food phases. There was a time that all my daughter would eat was peanut butter sandwiches. Day and night. I think it's interesting that we will let kids go through phases with "regular" food, but the minute it is a "junk" food, we as parents get scared

about it. That's what I had to let go. I had to let go of the "junk" food notion. I had to make a brownie equivalent to a piece of spinach. IT'S HARD! It's been the hardest part of IE for me, but bit by bit I am making it work. Are there things that I don't eat, and that perhaps I haven't legalized yet? Absolutely. There are a couple foods for me that still have such an emotional attachment to them from my childhood, that legalizing them is taking some emotionally internal work as well. For instance, there are Pepperidge Farms Coconut Layer cakes in the frozen section of the store. I don't even really love the taste of them to be honest, but my grandmother did, and it was a special "sneak" treat that we would share every time I would go there when I was a little girl. I can still cut into one of those cakes and close my eyes and feel like I am back in her

kitchen. She was my first best friend, and I still miss her 15 years after she passed away. Those cakes are something I have worked with now for two years. It's better than it used to be, but I still wouldn't consider them completely legalized for me. However, they do provide a very strong check for me. When I find myself in front of the frozen dessert section, with basically no idea how I got there... I know that something is seriously out of wack and I need to check in with myself to see what is going on.I try to be the best mom I can be, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I try to think of the life skills that I wish my mother had taught me. I also try to balance fun with fairness, and playtime with respect and discipline. I'm not my children's friend. I'm their mom. It's a big difference in my opinion. However, I will

admit... I did have a rock star moment tonight! My oldest daughter Maggie had to head to the ER tonight because she sprained her ankle. While sitting in the wheelchair waiting to be seen, I asked Maggie if she wanted to play night sky with me. She had no idea what I was talking about. I pulled out a pen and we proceeded to make constellations out of her freckles. She helped me remember what rhombus, trapezoids, and pentagons look like. I got some weird looks from the nurses and PA, but you know what? Who cares. It kept her mind off the pain, it washes off, and it provided much needed entertainment in a dull environment.I think if you take it one day at a time and work on being present in the moment... those will end up being some pretty amazing moments. Blessings! To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, August 4, 2011 6:48 PMSubject: Re: Keeping children intuitive

Thank you so much for your insight, Amy!

I think I need to "lighten up" as a mom. This scares me! I had to take IE in very small steps and I think I need to take small steps with my kids. I love how you explained things with your daughter about sugary cereal and cavities. I need to try that as well.

This week I've asked them more what they would like to eat and if they are hungry or full. My son said he was still hungry and wanted seconds of dessert and I said okay. I can't say I'll be doing ice cream for breakfast any time soon but we did have chocolate chip waffles and whipped cream for breakfast the other day, and they were thrilled.

Thank you for showing me an example of a super fun single mom!

>

> Hi ,

>

> First off... I can totally relate to your postings. I am a divorced, single mom of two little girls, ages 9 and 8. Plus I work, and go to school full time. Being a mom and trying to balance what to teach kids is not an easy job. It's even harder to do alone.Â

>

>

> I have battles with my kids all of the time, and sometimes those are over food. For a few years, my children got to see me use food as rewards, and as punishments. No longer is that the case. I have learned that if I want my children to have a healthy relationship with food, they have to see me modeling it first. That being said, all of us have learned from our experiences. IE not only reaches into food, but into other areas of life. One thought that comes to mind is you mentioning sugary cereal. My children don't usually do sugary cereal because we have talked about it. However, recently my daughter wanted some and wanted it every morning for breakfast. She is also notorious for not brushing her teeth as well as she should. We had a discussion about the consequences of eating sugary foods and she still insisted that she wanted it, and of course she would brush her

teeth. She has gone through the box of cereal, and she had to go to

> the dentist and now has a cavity that needs to be filled. She's not pleased, in fact she was incredibly angry with me. I told her that I understood she was upset, but that she was getting to the age where she needed to make choices and understand that there are consequences for ALL choices that we make, no matter how big or how small they are. She then informed me, "Mom, the cereal wasn't even that good. Can we please not get it anymore?" Granted, my children are older than yours, and are at the age where I can start to hold them responsible for making choices.

>

> I think you are doing some great things with them. You understand as a mom already, some choices that are not wise for them, and you are making good decisions for them. What's so wonderful about this, is that later in life those decisions will be automatic and will help promote good choices. The fruit issue for example. You could let your child eat as much fruit as he wanted, but you are helping him to understand that while he may enjoy it, his body is not asking for it in the quantities that his brain may think it wants.Â

>

>

> For my kids, always drinking water was a choice that I instilled in them very early. They know that there are other options out there, but they also know all the good things that water does for you. It is very rare now that we go anywhere that my children don't ask for water as their beverage choice. (And it saves me money, since water is free most of the time!)

>

> As I wrote in a post that I responded to earlier this week, mealtimes at my house are not "normal." Mealtimes here are not about what is on the plate, it's about the coming together as family and sharing conversations and time. I do always have the main meal, but I also have a variety of other things available. These things are quick, and easy and don't require much prep. Maybe opening a can, or reheating something. Is it perfect? Absolutely not, but right now it's working for us. It's also teaching my children that their bodies and their choices will be heard and respected.Â

>

>

> We are not the normal family and I've never tried to make us into one. We are the family that occasionally orders just dessert in a restaurant. We are the family that eats ice cream for breakfast. We are the family that goes to Target on a rainy day and tries on all the shoes in the shoe section and has a fashion parade. (We do pick them all up and put them back) We eat Jello with chopsticks. We sometimes eat a cake with just our fingers. I guess my point is that I spent 25 years of my life learning about rules, and dos and do nots. And you know what... I was miserable the whole time. Now I've spent a few years learning that food can be fun, and rules are made for breaking. My time here is too short to be worrying about how many grapes I ate, or if my chicken breast was six or eight ounces.Â

>

>

> I don't think my way can work for everyone. I think every person needs to come to a place of peace with food and that place of peace is different for each of us. I hope that as you continue in your journey you make changes that are healthy, but also the best for your family and your situation. Because in the end... that's the most important thing.

>

> Blessings,

> Amy

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Posted

,You are very welcome! I know that being a single mom is incredibly difficult. And I give props to all of us who do it. I think it sounds like you are doing a great job, and lightening up with come with time and more experience. IE to me is best done in small steps, so don't worry. I know one of the best ways that I made "junk" food okay with myself as far as offering as much as my kids wanted was to try to remember when my kids went through other food phases. There was a time that all my daughter would eat was peanut butter sandwiches. Day and night. I think it's interesting that we will let kids go through phases with "regular" food, but the minute it is a "junk" food, we as parents get scared

about it. That's what I had to let go. I had to let go of the "junk" food notion. I had to make a brownie equivalent to a piece of spinach. IT'S HARD! It's been the hardest part of IE for me, but bit by bit I am making it work. Are there things that I don't eat, and that perhaps I haven't legalized yet? Absolutely. There are a couple foods for me that still have such an emotional attachment to them from my childhood, that legalizing them is taking some emotionally internal work as well. For instance, there are Pepperidge Farms Coconut Layer cakes in the frozen section of the store. I don't even really love the taste of them to be honest, but my grandmother did, and it was a special "sneak" treat that we would share every time I would go there when I was a little girl. I can still cut into one of those cakes and close my eyes and feel like I am back in her

kitchen. She was my first best friend, and I still miss her 15 years after she passed away. Those cakes are something I have worked with now for two years. It's better than it used to be, but I still wouldn't consider them completely legalized for me. However, they do provide a very strong check for me. When I find myself in front of the frozen dessert section, with basically no idea how I got there... I know that something is seriously out of wack and I need to check in with myself to see what is going on.I try to be the best mom I can be, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I try to think of the life skills that I wish my mother had taught me. I also try to balance fun with fairness, and playtime with respect and discipline. I'm not my children's friend. I'm their mom. It's a big difference in my opinion. However, I will

admit... I did have a rock star moment tonight! My oldest daughter Maggie had to head to the ER tonight because she sprained her ankle. While sitting in the wheelchair waiting to be seen, I asked Maggie if she wanted to play night sky with me. She had no idea what I was talking about. I pulled out a pen and we proceeded to make constellations out of her freckles. She helped me remember what rhombus, trapezoids, and pentagons look like. I got some weird looks from the nurses and PA, but you know what? Who cares. It kept her mind off the pain, it washes off, and it provided much needed entertainment in a dull environment.I think if you take it one day at a time and work on being present in the moment... those will end up being some pretty amazing moments. Blessings! To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, August 4, 2011 6:48 PMSubject: Re: Keeping children intuitive

Thank you so much for your insight, Amy!

I think I need to "lighten up" as a mom. This scares me! I had to take IE in very small steps and I think I need to take small steps with my kids. I love how you explained things with your daughter about sugary cereal and cavities. I need to try that as well.

This week I've asked them more what they would like to eat and if they are hungry or full. My son said he was still hungry and wanted seconds of dessert and I said okay. I can't say I'll be doing ice cream for breakfast any time soon but we did have chocolate chip waffles and whipped cream for breakfast the other day, and they were thrilled.

Thank you for showing me an example of a super fun single mom!

>

> Hi ,

>

> First off... I can totally relate to your postings. I am a divorced, single mom of two little girls, ages 9 and 8. Plus I work, and go to school full time. Being a mom and trying to balance what to teach kids is not an easy job. It's even harder to do alone.Â

>

>

> I have battles with my kids all of the time, and sometimes those are over food. For a few years, my children got to see me use food as rewards, and as punishments. No longer is that the case. I have learned that if I want my children to have a healthy relationship with food, they have to see me modeling it first. That being said, all of us have learned from our experiences. IE not only reaches into food, but into other areas of life. One thought that comes to mind is you mentioning sugary cereal. My children don't usually do sugary cereal because we have talked about it. However, recently my daughter wanted some and wanted it every morning for breakfast. She is also notorious for not brushing her teeth as well as she should. We had a discussion about the consequences of eating sugary foods and she still insisted that she wanted it, and of course she would brush her

teeth. She has gone through the box of cereal, and she had to go to

> the dentist and now has a cavity that needs to be filled. She's not pleased, in fact she was incredibly angry with me. I told her that I understood she was upset, but that she was getting to the age where she needed to make choices and understand that there are consequences for ALL choices that we make, no matter how big or how small they are. She then informed me, "Mom, the cereal wasn't even that good. Can we please not get it anymore?" Granted, my children are older than yours, and are at the age where I can start to hold them responsible for making choices.

>

> I think you are doing some great things with them. You understand as a mom already, some choices that are not wise for them, and you are making good decisions for them. What's so wonderful about this, is that later in life those decisions will be automatic and will help promote good choices. The fruit issue for example. You could let your child eat as much fruit as he wanted, but you are helping him to understand that while he may enjoy it, his body is not asking for it in the quantities that his brain may think it wants.Â

>

>

> For my kids, always drinking water was a choice that I instilled in them very early. They know that there are other options out there, but they also know all the good things that water does for you. It is very rare now that we go anywhere that my children don't ask for water as their beverage choice. (And it saves me money, since water is free most of the time!)

>

> As I wrote in a post that I responded to earlier this week, mealtimes at my house are not "normal." Mealtimes here are not about what is on the plate, it's about the coming together as family and sharing conversations and time. I do always have the main meal, but I also have a variety of other things available. These things are quick, and easy and don't require much prep. Maybe opening a can, or reheating something. Is it perfect? Absolutely not, but right now it's working for us. It's also teaching my children that their bodies and their choices will be heard and respected.Â

>

>

> We are not the normal family and I've never tried to make us into one. We are the family that occasionally orders just dessert in a restaurant. We are the family that eats ice cream for breakfast. We are the family that goes to Target on a rainy day and tries on all the shoes in the shoe section and has a fashion parade. (We do pick them all up and put them back) We eat Jello with chopsticks. We sometimes eat a cake with just our fingers. I guess my point is that I spent 25 years of my life learning about rules, and dos and do nots. And you know what... I was miserable the whole time. Now I've spent a few years learning that food can be fun, and rules are made for breaking. My time here is too short to be worrying about how many grapes I ate, or if my chicken breast was six or eight ounces.Â

>

>

> I don't think my way can work for everyone. I think every person needs to come to a place of peace with food and that place of peace is different for each of us. I hope that as you continue in your journey you make changes that are healthy, but also the best for your family and your situation. Because in the end... that's the most important thing.

>

> Blessings,

> Amy

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Share on other sites
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Posted
Posted

,You are very welcome! I know that being a single mom is incredibly difficult. And I give props to all of us who do it. I think it sounds like you are doing a great job, and lightening up with come with time and more experience. IE to me is best done in small steps, so don't worry. I know one of the best ways that I made "junk" food okay with myself as far as offering as much as my kids wanted was to try to remember when my kids went through other food phases. There was a time that all my daughter would eat was peanut butter sandwiches. Day and night. I think it's interesting that we will let kids go through phases with "regular" food, but the minute it is a "junk" food, we as parents get scared

about it. That's what I had to let go. I had to let go of the "junk" food notion. I had to make a brownie equivalent to a piece of spinach. IT'S HARD! It's been the hardest part of IE for me, but bit by bit I am making it work. Are there things that I don't eat, and that perhaps I haven't legalized yet? Absolutely. There are a couple foods for me that still have such an emotional attachment to them from my childhood, that legalizing them is taking some emotionally internal work as well. For instance, there are Pepperidge Farms Coconut Layer cakes in the frozen section of the store. I don't even really love the taste of them to be honest, but my grandmother did, and it was a special "sneak" treat that we would share every time I would go there when I was a little girl. I can still cut into one of those cakes and close my eyes and feel like I am back in her

kitchen. She was my first best friend, and I still miss her 15 years after she passed away. Those cakes are something I have worked with now for two years. It's better than it used to be, but I still wouldn't consider them completely legalized for me. However, they do provide a very strong check for me. When I find myself in front of the frozen dessert section, with basically no idea how I got there... I know that something is seriously out of wack and I need to check in with myself to see what is going on.I try to be the best mom I can be, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I try to think of the life skills that I wish my mother had taught me. I also try to balance fun with fairness, and playtime with respect and discipline. I'm not my children's friend. I'm their mom. It's a big difference in my opinion. However, I will

admit... I did have a rock star moment tonight! My oldest daughter Maggie had to head to the ER tonight because she sprained her ankle. While sitting in the wheelchair waiting to be seen, I asked Maggie if she wanted to play night sky with me. She had no idea what I was talking about. I pulled out a pen and we proceeded to make constellations out of her freckles. She helped me remember what rhombus, trapezoids, and pentagons look like. I got some weird looks from the nurses and PA, but you know what? Who cares. It kept her mind off the pain, it washes off, and it provided much needed entertainment in a dull environment.I think if you take it one day at a time and work on being present in the moment... those will end up being some pretty amazing moments. Blessings! To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, August 4, 2011 6:48 PMSubject: Re: Keeping children intuitive

Thank you so much for your insight, Amy!

I think I need to "lighten up" as a mom. This scares me! I had to take IE in very small steps and I think I need to take small steps with my kids. I love how you explained things with your daughter about sugary cereal and cavities. I need to try that as well.

This week I've asked them more what they would like to eat and if they are hungry or full. My son said he was still hungry and wanted seconds of dessert and I said okay. I can't say I'll be doing ice cream for breakfast any time soon but we did have chocolate chip waffles and whipped cream for breakfast the other day, and they were thrilled.

Thank you for showing me an example of a super fun single mom!

>

> Hi ,

>

> First off... I can totally relate to your postings. I am a divorced, single mom of two little girls, ages 9 and 8. Plus I work, and go to school full time. Being a mom and trying to balance what to teach kids is not an easy job. It's even harder to do alone.Â

>

>

> I have battles with my kids all of the time, and sometimes those are over food. For a few years, my children got to see me use food as rewards, and as punishments. No longer is that the case. I have learned that if I want my children to have a healthy relationship with food, they have to see me modeling it first. That being said, all of us have learned from our experiences. IE not only reaches into food, but into other areas of life. One thought that comes to mind is you mentioning sugary cereal. My children don't usually do sugary cereal because we have talked about it. However, recently my daughter wanted some and wanted it every morning for breakfast. She is also notorious for not brushing her teeth as well as she should. We had a discussion about the consequences of eating sugary foods and she still insisted that she wanted it, and of course she would brush her

teeth. She has gone through the box of cereal, and she had to go to

> the dentist and now has a cavity that needs to be filled. She's not pleased, in fact she was incredibly angry with me. I told her that I understood she was upset, but that she was getting to the age where she needed to make choices and understand that there are consequences for ALL choices that we make, no matter how big or how small they are. She then informed me, "Mom, the cereal wasn't even that good. Can we please not get it anymore?" Granted, my children are older than yours, and are at the age where I can start to hold them responsible for making choices.

>

> I think you are doing some great things with them. You understand as a mom already, some choices that are not wise for them, and you are making good decisions for them. What's so wonderful about this, is that later in life those decisions will be automatic and will help promote good choices. The fruit issue for example. You could let your child eat as much fruit as he wanted, but you are helping him to understand that while he may enjoy it, his body is not asking for it in the quantities that his brain may think it wants.Â

>

>

> For my kids, always drinking water was a choice that I instilled in them very early. They know that there are other options out there, but they also know all the good things that water does for you. It is very rare now that we go anywhere that my children don't ask for water as their beverage choice. (And it saves me money, since water is free most of the time!)

>

> As I wrote in a post that I responded to earlier this week, mealtimes at my house are not "normal." Mealtimes here are not about what is on the plate, it's about the coming together as family and sharing conversations and time. I do always have the main meal, but I also have a variety of other things available. These things are quick, and easy and don't require much prep. Maybe opening a can, or reheating something. Is it perfect? Absolutely not, but right now it's working for us. It's also teaching my children that their bodies and their choices will be heard and respected.Â

>

>

> We are not the normal family and I've never tried to make us into one. We are the family that occasionally orders just dessert in a restaurant. We are the family that eats ice cream for breakfast. We are the family that goes to Target on a rainy day and tries on all the shoes in the shoe section and has a fashion parade. (We do pick them all up and put them back) We eat Jello with chopsticks. We sometimes eat a cake with just our fingers. I guess my point is that I spent 25 years of my life learning about rules, and dos and do nots. And you know what... I was miserable the whole time. Now I've spent a few years learning that food can be fun, and rules are made for breaking. My time here is too short to be worrying about how many grapes I ate, or if my chicken breast was six or eight ounces.Â

>

>

> I don't think my way can work for everyone. I think every person needs to come to a place of peace with food and that place of peace is different for each of us. I hope that as you continue in your journey you make changes that are healthy, but also the best for your family and your situation. Because in the end... that's the most important thing.

>

> Blessings,

> Amy

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