Re: Am I being selfish? - Need advice

[Guest guest]

Someone who was not a KO, or an abused woman, would never have to ask.

Of COURSE you get as far as possible from this mean, viscious ,

detestable human being. Treat it as lifeboat rules, burning building

rules. Do whatever it takes to get away and stay away.

YOU, Kate, are not the one " putting the family in that situation. " If

he were not such a thorough ass, it could be a nice gathering. He has

warped your thinking to the point that you respond like the wife or

girlfriend who is beaten by her man, then apologizes to him when he

says, see what you made me do.

People in town who listen to the rantings of a drunk, abusive, asshole,

and then choose to tell you what a DLB you are, these are not your

friends. The next one who comes to you like that, tell them, you are

the wind, and I don t hear you. Get away from me and stay away from me.

You will find their are good and worthwhile people out there. You

havent found them yet. As to your family seeing you or him at

Christmas, sometimes their are hard decisions. Honestly, Kate, do you

think you are the only one he treats like shit? Trust me , they have

seen it as well.

Choose life and health. Pay the price, even if that is starting over

with friends and family members.

You should read the book Safe People, by Cloud and Townsend. So far,

you have not learned to be, and to find, safe people in your life. But

you can, as you heal.

And, may we all heal.

Doug

>

> I'm new to the group, and I guess i sought it out because of my most

recent decision to cut contact with my father who has BPD/NPD. The last

straw was when after several months of not speaking he decided that if I

didn't turn over my license plates he would call the police and report

my car stolen (I just graduated college, he was helping me pay my car

insurance, i paid for my own car in full, but evidently he was sick of

paying $40 a month for me). Needless to say, I watched him physically

rip off my license plates leaving me with no car for over a week to get

to my two jobs. Not one ounce of him seemed to care, all his concern was

how I am a " disrespectful little bitch " and I got what I deserved. Over

the past 22 years, this has been no where near the worst he's done, but

it was my last straw.

>

> Being the oldest of three, and successfully avoiding Thanksgiving's

drama, I'm worried about Christmas and up-coming birthdays. How selfish

is it of me to put my family in the position where they have to choose

to either see me or him and miss out on one of us? I know it's unfair,

but my mental status depends upon it. Any suggestions???

>

[Guest guest]

Someone who was not a KO, or an abused woman, would never have to ask.

Of COURSE you get as far as possible from this mean, viscious ,

detestable human being. Treat it as lifeboat rules, burning building

rules. Do whatever it takes to get away and stay away.

YOU, Kate, are not the one " putting the family in that situation. " If

he were not such a thorough ass, it could be a nice gathering. He has

warped your thinking to the point that you respond like the wife or

girlfriend who is beaten by her man, then apologizes to him when he

says, see what you made me do.

People in town who listen to the rantings of a drunk, abusive, asshole,

and then choose to tell you what a DLB you are, these are not your

friends. The next one who comes to you like that, tell them, you are

the wind, and I don t hear you. Get away from me and stay away from me.

You will find their are good and worthwhile people out there. You

havent found them yet. As to your family seeing you or him at

Christmas, sometimes their are hard decisions. Honestly, Kate, do you

think you are the only one he treats like shit? Trust me , they have

seen it as well.

Choose life and health. Pay the price, even if that is starting over

with friends and family members.

You should read the book Safe People, by Cloud and Townsend. So far,

you have not learned to be, and to find, safe people in your life. But

you can, as you heal.

And, may we all heal.

Doug

>

> I'm new to the group, and I guess i sought it out because of my most

recent decision to cut contact with my father who has BPD/NPD. The last

straw was when after several months of not speaking he decided that if I

didn't turn over my license plates he would call the police and report

my car stolen (I just graduated college, he was helping me pay my car

insurance, i paid for my own car in full, but evidently he was sick of

paying $40 a month for me). Needless to say, I watched him physically

rip off my license plates leaving me with no car for over a week to get

to my two jobs. Not one ounce of him seemed to care, all his concern was

how I am a " disrespectful little bitch " and I got what I deserved. Over

the past 22 years, this has been no where near the worst he's done, but

it was my last straw.

>

> Being the oldest of three, and successfully avoiding Thanksgiving's

drama, I'm worried about Christmas and up-coming birthdays. How selfish

is it of me to put my family in the position where they have to choose

to either see me or him and miss out on one of us? I know it's unfair,

but my mental status depends upon it. Any suggestions???

>

[Guest guest]

Doug, you're just like Forrest Gump's mama. You always say things in a way that

we can understand.

LOVE the burning building rule. I'm keeping that one close.

Thanks!

Blessings,

Karla

> >

> > I'm new to the group, and I guess i sought it out because of my most

> recent decision to cut contact with my father who has BPD/NPD. The last

> straw was when after several months of not speaking he decided that if I

> didn't turn over my license plates he would call the police and report

> my car stolen (I just graduated college, he was helping me pay my car

> insurance, i paid for my own car in full, but evidently he was sick of

> paying $40 a month for me). Needless to say, I watched him physically

> rip off my license plates leaving me with no car for over a week to get

> to my two jobs. Not one ounce of him seemed to care, all his concern was

> how I am a " disrespectful little bitch " and I got what I deserved. Over

> the past 22 years, this has been no where near the worst he's done, but

> it was my last straw.

> >

> > Being the oldest of three, and successfully avoiding Thanksgiving's

> drama, I'm worried about Christmas and up-coming birthdays. How selfish

> is it of me to put my family in the position where they have to choose

> to either see me or him and miss out on one of us? I know it's unfair,

> but my mental status depends upon it. Any suggestions???

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Doug, you're just like Forrest Gump's mama. You always say things in a way that

we can understand.

LOVE the burning building rule. I'm keeping that one close.

Thanks!

Blessings,

Karla

> >

> > I'm new to the group, and I guess i sought it out because of my most

> recent decision to cut contact with my father who has BPD/NPD. The last

> straw was when after several months of not speaking he decided that if I

> didn't turn over my license plates he would call the police and report

> my car stolen (I just graduated college, he was helping me pay my car

> insurance, i paid for my own car in full, but evidently he was sick of

> paying $40 a month for me). Needless to say, I watched him physically

> rip off my license plates leaving me with no car for over a week to get

> to my two jobs. Not one ounce of him seemed to care, all his concern was

> how I am a " disrespectful little bitch " and I got what I deserved. Over

> the past 22 years, this has been no where near the worst he's done, but

> it was my last straw.

> >

> > Being the oldest of three, and successfully avoiding Thanksgiving's

> drama, I'm worried about Christmas and up-coming birthdays. How selfish

> is it of me to put my family in the position where they have to choose

> to either see me or him and miss out on one of us? I know it's unfair,

> but my mental status depends upon it. Any suggestions???

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I m not JUST like Forest s mama. I never slept with the school

principal.

Doug

> > >

> > > I'm new to the group, and I guess i sought it out because of my

most

> > recent decision to cut contact with my father who has BPD/NPD. The

last

> > straw was when after several months of not speaking he decided that

if I

> > didn't turn over my license plates he would call the police and

report

> > my car stolen (I just graduated college, he was helping me pay my

car

> > insurance, i paid for my own car in full, but evidently he was sick

of

> > paying $40 a month for me). Needless to say, I watched him

physically

> > rip off my license plates leaving me with no car for over a week to

get

> > to my two jobs. Not one ounce of him seemed to care, all his concern

was

> > how I am a " disrespectful little bitch " and I got what I deserved.

Over

> > the past 22 years, this has been no where near the worst he's done,

but

> > it was my last straw.

> > >

> > > Being the oldest of three, and successfully avoiding

Thanksgiving's

> > drama, I'm worried about Christmas and up-coming birthdays. How

selfish

> > is it of me to put my family in the position where they have to

choose

> > to either see me or him and miss out on one of us? I know it's

unfair,

> > but my mental status depends upon it. Any suggestions???

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah . . . and no one could ever be as cute as Sally Fields.

> > > >

> > > > I'm new to the group, and I guess i sought it out because of my

> most

> > > recent decision to cut contact with my father who has BPD/NPD. The

> last

> > > straw was when after several months of not speaking he decided that

> if I

> > > didn't turn over my license plates he would call the police and

> report

> > > my car stolen (I just graduated college, he was helping me pay my

> car

> > > insurance, i paid for my own car in full, but evidently he was sick

> of

> > > paying $40 a month for me). Needless to say, I watched him

> physically

> > > rip off my license plates leaving me with no car for over a week to

> get

> > > to my two jobs. Not one ounce of him seemed to care, all his concern

> was

> > > how I am a " disrespectful little bitch " and I got what I deserved.

> Over

> > > the past 22 years, this has been no where near the worst he's done,

> but

> > > it was my last straw.

> > > >

> > > > Being the oldest of three, and successfully avoiding

> Thanksgiving's

> > > drama, I'm worried about Christmas and up-coming birthdays. How

> selfish

> > > is it of me to put my family in the position where they have to

> choose

> > > to either see me or him and miss out on one of us? I know it's

> unfair,

> > > but my mental status depends upon it. Any suggestions???

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hey! I m JUST as cute as Sally Fields. I m just not a Ho. Well, not

with the principal, at least.

This is getting beneath even me!

> > > > >

> > > > > I'm new to the group, and I guess i sought it out because of

my

> > most

> > > > recent decision to cut contact with my father who has BPD/NPD.

The

> > last

> > > > straw was when after several months of not speaking he decided

that

> > if I

> > > > didn't turn over my license plates he would call the police and

> > report

> > > > my car stolen (I just graduated college, he was helping me pay

my

> > car

> > > > insurance, i paid for my own car in full, but evidently he was

sick

> > of

> > > > paying $40 a month for me). Needless to say, I watched him

> > physically

> > > > rip off my license plates leaving me with no car for over a week

to

> > get

> > > > to my two jobs. Not one ounce of him seemed to care, all his

concern

> > was

> > > > how I am a " disrespectful little bitch " and I got what I

deserved.

> > Over

> > > > the past 22 years, this has been no where near the worst he's

done,

> > but

> > > > it was my last straw.

> > > > >

> > > > > Being the oldest of three, and successfully avoiding

> > Thanksgiving's

> > > > drama, I'm worried about Christmas and up-coming birthdays. How

> > selfish

> > > > is it of me to put my family in the position where they have to

> > choose

> > > > to either see me or him and miss out on one of us? I know it's

> > unfair,

> > > > but my mental status depends upon it. Any suggestions???

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

A 'ho? Really?

You may be cute, but I'm guessing you look lousy in lace gloves and a floral

print dress.

Blessings,

Karla

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I'm new to the group, and I guess i sought it out because of

> my

> > > most

> > > > > recent decision to cut contact with my father who has BPD/NPD.

> The

> > > last

> > > > > straw was when after several months of not speaking he decided

> that

> > > if I

> > > > > didn't turn over my license plates he would call the police and

> > > report

> > > > > my car stolen (I just graduated college, he was helping me pay

> my

> > > car

> > > > > insurance, i paid for my own car in full, but evidently he was

> sick

> > > of

> > > > > paying $40 a month for me). Needless to say, I watched him

> > > physically

> > > > > rip off my license plates leaving me with no car for over a week

> to

> > > get

> > > > > to my two jobs. Not one ounce of him seemed to care, all his

> concern

> > > was

> > > > > how I am a " disrespectful little bitch " and I got what I

> deserved.

> > > Over

> > > > > the past 22 years, this has been no where near the worst he's

> done,

> > > but

> > > > > it was my last straw.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Being the oldest of three, and successfully avoiding

> > > Thanksgiving's

> > > > > drama, I'm worried about Christmas and up-coming birthdays. How

> > > selfish

> > > > > is it of me to put my family in the position where they have to

> > > choose

> > > > > to either see me or him and miss out on one of us? I know it's

> > > unfair,

> > > > > but my mental status depends upon it. Any suggestions???

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>