Worked out a trigger

[Guest guest]

As an adult I am constantly triggered by people that don't consider my feelings

on issues or just do what they want even when it involves me. I have finally

realised why this annoys me so much. Growing up with a BPD Nada and a NPD Fada

there was no thoughts to my feelings and all my attention had to be given to

them. I served their needs and forgot about mine.

Everything that was important to me was played down. I grew up very quick and

parented myself. I realise now it is the lack of empathy I received and I

craved for it. Now as an adult when someone is just being self-centered and

demanding too much of me, or treating me with no consideration, it causes a

reaction in me of extreme anger.

Boundary work has definatley helped me to set my personal standards. I recently

had my Fada visiting and it was so draining. I ran around after him like the

King of England. It was enlightning as I haven't spent time alone with him for

many years. I seen his NPD as a sickness for the first time ever. It made me

realise how far I had come as I didn't react to half of what I would of years

ago.

I did react when we took him to dinner and he informed the waiter from a good

stance behind us to put a tip on OUR credit card that we were paying dinner

with.

People pleasing is definately a way I kept the peace in my family.

Nada is a waife so her demands were high as well.

As an adult now I even struggle with people that just arrive for a visit

unannounced.

I think when my personal space was violated and I was over-looked as a child and

my emotional needs weren't met, it set the rest of my life up on a mission to

gain respect,understanding and consideration.

I also spent many years being over dramatic to gain attention from others. Makes

sense to over amp things to get people to listen. That is under control now

with awareness and alot of personal growth work.

So I don't think triggers ever go away. They may lesson as we become more aware.

I know I will always need to be validated and respected, and hey is that such a

bad thing? I just make sure I seek out givers in my life rather than the takers.

Kazam x