Guest guest Posted December 3, 2010 Report Share Posted December 3, 2010 So, I've heard people say their nada's voice sends them over the edge and grates on the nerves like nails on a chalkboard. What about the guilt-tripping, sad little me voice? My nada and sis both have it. Every voicemail I notice this guilt-inducing kind of " poor little me " sound in their voices. My sis is not BPD but displays some traits, like me, just different ones. There is this indescribable sound in their voices when they talk like they're waiting for someone to fix it or make it better. Or their attempts to sound cavalier or even happy sound a bit forced and you can hear that other thing underneath it. Is this sound just for me? Or do others notice it? I think they do because fada gets fed up with sis and sis mentions this regarding nada. All the while, it feels manipulative. I don't know how to explain it, but it's not like someone who is actually sad or depressed but making an effort. It's more like their mindset is driving this tone. Maybe they are thinking, " Coal Miner's Daughter doesn't care about me; I have to leave a voicemail again; she hasn't called for 2 whole days. " Then their voice displays this thought tonally? -Coal Miner's Daughter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2010 Report Share Posted December 4, 2010 What about the guilt-tripping, sad little me voice? That is the way my nada talks. 67 old and talking like few years old poor abadoned confused victimize but " nice " child. I'm sure she see herself like that. And I hate that voice it take me over the edge too sometimes. Makes me sick fist second I heard it. She use her normal voice just when she is triggered enough to be very mad at me. Than she talk normal with me but with such hatred you can feel the heat. But for me it is easier listen to that voice, even it is full of hatred. It is her real one. > > So, I've heard people say their nada's voice sends them over the edge and grates on the nerves like nails on a chalkboard. > > What about the guilt-tripping, sad little me voice? > > My nada and sis both have it. Every voicemail I notice this guilt-inducing kind of " poor little me " sound in their voices. My sis is not BPD but displays some traits, like me, just different ones. There is this indescribable sound in their voices when they talk like they're waiting for someone to fix it or make it better. Or their attempts to sound cavalier or even happy sound a bit forced and you can hear that other thing underneath it. Is this sound just for me? Or do others notice it? I think they do because fada gets fed up with sis and sis mentions this regarding nada. > > All the while, it feels manipulative. I don't know how to explain it, but it's not like someone who is actually sad or depressed but making an effort. It's more like their mindset is driving this tone. Maybe they are thinking, " Coal Miner's Daughter doesn't care about me; I have to leave a voicemail again; she hasn't called for 2 whole days. " Then their voice displays this thought tonally? > > -Coal Miner's Daughter > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2010 Report Share Posted December 4, 2010 I know what you mean. I think my nada's superior-sounding, commandeering " Queen " tone and her venomous, angry " Witch " tone reflect her real self. Her chirpy-perky-happy tone and her poor-little-me child-tone (the " Waif " ) are manipulations. All of her " tones " began resulting in a post-phone-call migraine headache for me, and those take me down for a half-day at least, so I had to stop hearing her voice for my own health's sake. My Sister was the first one to point out to me that our mom's " happy-perky-cheerful " mode is phony, which, once I noticed it, truly is rather obviously forced and false. Its funny how I'd tuned that out, apparently. I now think that for the first 30+ years of my life I was in a somewhat dissociated state when around nada so that whatever she said to me or how she said it would not " get to " me. -Annie > > > > So, I've heard people say their nada's voice sends them over the edge and grates on the nerves like nails on a chalkboard. > > > > What about the guilt-tripping, sad little me voice? > > > > My nada and sis both have it. Every voicemail I notice this guilt-inducing kind of " poor little me " sound in their voices. My sis is not BPD but displays some traits, like me, just different ones. There is this indescribable sound in their voices when they talk like they're waiting for someone to fix it or make it better. Or their attempts to sound cavalier or even happy sound a bit forced and you can hear that other thing underneath it. Is this sound just for me? Or do others notice it? I think they do because fada gets fed up with sis and sis mentions this regarding nada. > > > > All the while, it feels manipulative. I don't know how to explain it, but it's not like someone who is actually sad or depressed but making an effort. It's more like their mindset is driving this tone. Maybe they are thinking, " Coal Miner's Daughter doesn't care about me; I have to leave a voicemail again; she hasn't called for 2 whole days. " Then their voice displays this thought tonally? > > > > -Coal Miner's Daughter > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2010 Report Share Posted December 4, 2010 Yes, I can't stand the phoney waif voice. My boss (bless her heart) does it almost constantly. Poor me, I'm not tall enough, strong enough, woman enough, or intelligent enough to do X, will you do it for me? Wah Wahh WAAAHHHH My nada loved to pull out the waif voice. She usually chose to go with the " I'm sick flavor. " It was amazing how she could go from laughing her evil cackle or demanding or bossing or forcing instantly to " Please. . You just don't know how sick I am. " I didn't buy it. And being a Girlscout Cowboy, I just want to say " Cowboy up and make yourself a bandage of old panty hose and newspapers and get on with the day. Or take a tylenol and shut up. " As someone with chronic pain, I believe I can tell the difference between someone who pretends to be sick or weak to get what they want (nada) and someone who IS sick, but pretends to be well so they can DO what they want (me). Ha ha. Down with the malingering waif vocalization!!!! On Sat, Dec 4, 2010 at 7:00 AM, anuria67854 wrote: > > > I know what you mean. I think my nada's superior-sounding, commandeering > " Queen " tone and her venomous, angry " Witch " tone reflect her real self. Her > chirpy-perky-happy tone and her poor-little-me child-tone (the " Waif " ) are > manipulations.d > > All of her " tones " began resulting in a post-phone-call migraine headache > for me, and those take me down for a half-day at least, so I had to stop > hearing her voice for my own health's sake. > > My Sister was the first one to point out to me that our mom's > " happy-perky-cheerful " mode is phony, which, once I noticed it, truly is > rather obviously forced and false. Its funny how I'd tuned that out, > apparently. I now think that for the first 30+ years of my life I was in a > somewhat dissociated state when around nada so that whatever she said to me > or how she said it would not " get to " me. > > -Annie > > > > > > > > > So, I've heard people say their nada's voice sends them over the edge > and grates on the nerves like nails on a chalkboard. > > > > > > What about the guilt-tripping, sad little me voice? > > > > > > My nada and sis both have it. Every voicemail I notice this > guilt-inducing kind of " poor little me " sound in their voices. My sis is not > BPD but displays some traits, like me, just different ones. There is this > indescribable sound in their voices when they talk like they're waiting for > someone to fix it or make it better. Or their attempts to sound cavalier or > even happy sound a bit forced and you can hear that other thing underneath > it. Is this sound just for me? Or do others notice it? I think they do > because fada gets fed up with sis and sis mentions this regarding nada. > > > > > > All the while, it feels manipulative. I don't know how to explain it, > but it's not like someone who is actually sad or depressed but making an > effort. It's more like their mindset is driving this tone. Maybe they are > thinking, " Coal Miner's Daughter doesn't care about me; I have to leave a > voicemail again; she hasn't called for 2 whole days. " Then their voice > displays this thought tonally? > > > > > > -Coal Miner's Daughter > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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