for Amy Re: Henny Penny

[Guest guest]

Dear Amy,

I and others here seem to feel concerned that our questions have led to you

feeling like you have to defend your decision. I really think it is more

curiosity, awe or fascination we are expressing. There is also a general trend

here toward LC and NC. I think this might be because people coming here need

support to stand up to their nada and/or foo. My sense is that people writing

and reading here have gotten all kinds of guilt trips from nada, foo and

society, so they need strength and courage to survive and make basic boundaries.

These are things that more healthy individuals do naturally, as I understand it.

I think one purpose this group serves is as a whistle-blowing or policing type

of thing. For example, one lady wrote in about leaving kids unsupervised with

nada. Doug wrote back in very strong terms, saying things kind of like: No

defenseless child should be left alone with nada EVER. This helped me when I

read it because I'm always making excuses and sitting the fence with her in my

life. The bold statements from group members help jolt me out of compliance

with society's rule that mommy knows best.

I allow my kids to interact with nada as well and only recently decided to go LC

and only supervised visits with her. I do not see a need to tell her this in so

many words. And, like you, I don't get into deeply personal things anymore. I

partly allow contact so my kids can have a grandma and partly to keep from

having the intense drama that NC would bring. You do not need to defend your

decision here or anywhere else, and we appreciate you taking time to answer our

questions about your situation.

Sincerely,

+Coal Miner's Daughter

>>

> I can sense that there are readers here who strongly disagree with the way I

have handled this...but it is really the only way I can see doing this right

now...unless she does something that is even slightly unacceptable.> Amy

>