Re: would you let your kids see grandnada unsupervised??

[Guest guest]

Nope, no way. I don't trust my nada enough to want to be alone in a room with

her myself. I'll be damned if she ever has a visit with my future kids

unsupervised. I understand that I am not married yet, let alone have children,

but still, no way. My fiancee doesnt like being alone with her (and he is an

adult), because, you never know what she is going to take away from the

experience. By the time she gets finished with it, the story could do a

complete 180 from what actually happened.

In addition, I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would never let

my nada do what she did to me to my children.

-Jade

[Guest guest]

There was this one time when my nephew was only about 3 and my Sister was told

she was going to be deployed overseas. Sister arranged for nada and dad to

become her child's legal guardians until she returned. Its just a major miracle

that Sister did not have to go after all, she was literally on her way to the

airport when she was informed that her orders had been changed and she was not

to be deployed to a war zone after all.

I think it was due to SOME kind of divine intervention, myself, because

(according to both my Sister and nada) mamma leaving him with grandnada and

grandpa completely traumatized my nephew. Sister said she had never seen the

poor little guy in such a state of terrified hysterics in his whole little life,

and he was used to being in daycare and/or having a nanny. She said it tore her

guts and her heart out to have to drive away from him with him so upset like

that. On some level, Nephew did NOT want to be left with his grandnada and

grand-dad, it scared the crap out of him. When his mommy came back the same day

and scooped him up, she said he was shaking and practically in shock and

wouldn't let go of her for hours.

Thing is, as I mentioned before, although nada seemed to be fine with her

grandson, she thought nothing of inflicting her usual critical, insulting,

demeaning barbs and verbal diarrhea towards Sister. Sister was stupid, Sister

couldn't do anything right, Sister was a loser, yadda, yadda, yadda. Maybe her

little boy even at three years old understood some of the words and sensed how

hurt and anxious and sad Sister felt around nada and he reacted to that?

Hard to say.

-Annie

>

>

> Nope, no way. I don't trust my nada enough to want to be alone in a room with

her myself. I'll be damned if she ever has a visit with my future kids

unsupervised. I understand that I am not married yet, let alone have children,

but still, no way. My fiancee doesnt like being alone with her (and he is an

adult), because, you never know what she is going to take away from the

experience. By the time she gets finished with it, the story could do a

complete 180 from what actually happened.

>

> In addition, I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would never let

my nada do what she did to me to my children.

>

> -Jade

>

[Guest guest]

There was this one time when my nephew was only about 3 and my Sister was told

she was going to be deployed overseas. Sister arranged for nada and dad to

become her child's legal guardians until she returned. Its just a major miracle

that Sister did not have to go after all, she was literally on her way to the

airport when she was informed that her orders had been changed and she was not

to be deployed to a war zone after all.

I think it was due to SOME kind of divine intervention, myself, because

(according to both my Sister and nada) mamma leaving him with grandnada and

grandpa completely traumatized my nephew. Sister said she had never seen the

poor little guy in such a state of terrified hysterics in his whole little life,

and he was used to being in daycare and/or having a nanny. She said it tore her

guts and her heart out to have to drive away from him with him so upset like

that. On some level, Nephew did NOT want to be left with his grandnada and

grand-dad, it scared the crap out of him. When his mommy came back the same day

and scooped him up, she said he was shaking and practically in shock and

wouldn't let go of her for hours.

Thing is, as I mentioned before, although nada seemed to be fine with her

grandson, she thought nothing of inflicting her usual critical, insulting,

demeaning barbs and verbal diarrhea towards Sister. Sister was stupid, Sister

couldn't do anything right, Sister was a loser, yadda, yadda, yadda. Maybe her

little boy even at three years old understood some of the words and sensed how

hurt and anxious and sad Sister felt around nada and he reacted to that?

Hard to say.

-Annie

>

>

> Nope, no way. I don't trust my nada enough to want to be alone in a room with

her myself. I'll be damned if she ever has a visit with my future kids

unsupervised. I understand that I am not married yet, let alone have children,

but still, no way. My fiancee doesnt like being alone with her (and he is an

adult), because, you never know what she is going to take away from the

experience. By the time she gets finished with it, the story could do a

complete 180 from what actually happened.

>

> In addition, I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would never let

my nada do what she did to me to my children.

>

> -Jade

>

[Guest guest]

NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.

Not even if she commits to treatment and manages to make a " recovery. " I will

never trust her alone with them.

Right now I'm having a discussion with my husband about whether we even want to

continue allowing her to visit at all, even with our supervision, because it is

so emotionally exhausting watching her every move and listening to her every

word just to be ready for WHEN she gets inappropriate with them. I'm sick of

it. And it only happens for a few hours at a time a few times a year.

KT

[Guest guest]

NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.

Not even if she commits to treatment and manages to make a " recovery. " I will

never trust her alone with them.

Right now I'm having a discussion with my husband about whether we even want to

continue allowing her to visit at all, even with our supervision, because it is

so emotionally exhausting watching her every move and listening to her every

word just to be ready for WHEN she gets inappropriate with them. I'm sick of

it. And it only happens for a few hours at a time a few times a year.

KT

[Guest guest]

No way. My LC is becoming NC as time goes on too for the same reasons others

mention. It's exhausting being so vigilant during the rare supervised visits we

have with nada and FOO. My nada has even done things almost right in front of me

and has the audacity to look at me like I have a problem - no thanks, no more!

I was trying to get together with FOO once or twice each year so that the kids

could be with their cousins. Then I realized that FOO is really now just my

parents and my brother who reluctantly drags his family to stay with nada/fada

for about 24 hours. If the only way I can see my brother is when nada is

around, knowing all I have told him, then he can be apart of my new NC too.

patinage.

[Guest guest]

I'd be in the " better safe than sorry " camp, myself, if I had kids.

-Annie

>

> No way. My LC is becoming NC as time goes on too for the same reasons others

mention. It's exhausting being so vigilant during the rare supervised visits we

have with nada and FOO. My nada has even done things almost right in front of me

and has the audacity to look at me like I have a problem - no thanks, no more!

>

> I was trying to get together with FOO once or twice each year so that the kids

could be with their cousins. Then I realized that FOO is really now just my

parents and my brother who reluctantly drags his family to stay with nada/fada

for about 24 hours. If the only way I can see my brother is when nada is

around, knowing all I have told him, then he can be apart of my new NC too.

>

> patinage.

>

[Guest guest]

I'd be in the " better safe than sorry " camp, myself, if I had kids.

-Annie

>

> No way. My LC is becoming NC as time goes on too for the same reasons others

mention. It's exhausting being so vigilant during the rare supervised visits we

have with nada and FOO. My nada has even done things almost right in front of me

and has the audacity to look at me like I have a problem - no thanks, no more!

>

> I was trying to get together with FOO once or twice each year so that the kids

could be with their cousins. Then I realized that FOO is really now just my

parents and my brother who reluctantly drags his family to stay with nada/fada

for about 24 hours. If the only way I can see my brother is when nada is

around, knowing all I have told him, then he can be apart of my new NC too.

>

> patinage.

>

[Guest guest]

I'd be in the " better safe than sorry " camp, myself, if I had kids.

-Annie

>

> No way. My LC is becoming NC as time goes on too for the same reasons others

mention. It's exhausting being so vigilant during the rare supervised visits we

have with nada and FOO. My nada has even done things almost right in front of me

and has the audacity to look at me like I have a problem - no thanks, no more!

>

> I was trying to get together with FOO once or twice each year so that the kids

could be with their cousins. Then I realized that FOO is really now just my

parents and my brother who reluctantly drags his family to stay with nada/fada

for about 24 hours. If the only way I can see my brother is when nada is

around, knowing all I have told him, then he can be apart of my new NC too.

>

> patinage.

>

[Guest guest]

Nope. In fact, posted a message awhile ago on here about this very thing and

some great advice about how to implement. Basically, I'm going to evade and

outright lie at first, but am prepared for nuclear fallout and NC if i have to

come right out and say, " You won't be keeping DS alone because I do not trust

you " - which I probably will have to do since it was an issue BEFORE I was even

married aloe had a kid! My situation is further complicated by the fact that she

has kept him in the past - before certain memories resurfaced that made me

realize she is NOT to be trusted! So, anyway, Not just no, but over my cold dead

rotting corpse

of a hell no, no! We have to be more full of love for our children than we

are full of fear and guilt from our rotten parents.

> >

> > No way. My LC is becoming NC as time goes on too for the same reasons others

mention. It's exhausting being so vigilant during the rare supervised visits we

have with nada and FOO. My nada has even done things almost right in front of me

and has the audacity to look at me like I have a problem - no thanks, no more!

> >

> > I was trying to get together with FOO once or twice each year so that the

kids could be with their cousins. Then I realized that FOO is really now just my

parents and my brother who reluctantly drags his family to stay with nada/fada

for about 24 hours. If the only way I can see my brother is when nada is

around, knowing all I have told him, then he can be apart of my new NC too.

> >

> > patinage.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Meant to say I GOT some great advice, not that I posted some! GOT. Stupid phone

keyboard...

> > >

> > > No way. My LC is becoming NC as time goes on too for the same reasons

others mention. It's exhausting being so vigilant during the rare supervised

visits we have with nada and FOO. My nada has even done things almost right in

front of me and has the audacity to look at me like I have a problem - no

thanks, no more!

> > >

> > > I was trying to get together with FOO once or twice each year so that the

kids could be with their cousins. Then I realized that FOO is really now just my

parents and my brother who reluctantly drags his family to stay with nada/fada

for about 24 hours. If the only way I can see my brother is when nada is

around, knowing all I have told him, then he can be apart of my new NC too.

> > >

> > > patinage.

> > >

> >

>