INTRO

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/26/2005 9:29:16 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

fullthrottle01@... writes:

Are there any other young adults on the list?

Hi Jen,

We do have young adults in the group, both type 1 and type 2.

hmm, I still consider myself young even though I've seen 62 birthdays.

hugs

Eunice

[Guest guest]

Hi Bob,

Thanks for the welcome. Do you find the pump helps with exercise? I'm fairly

active and have such a hard time avoiding lows during exercise, despite

cutting back on Humalog and eating carbs beforehand.

I think sleeping with the pump on would be hard and take a while to get used

to! I already count carbs and use an insulin-to-carb ratio to cover snacks

and meals with Humalog, so that aspect wouldn't be new to me if I get a

pump.

Jen

[Guest guest]

Hi Bob,

Thanks for the welcome. Do you find the pump helps with exercise? I'm fairly

active and have such a hard time avoiding lows during exercise, despite

cutting back on Humalog and eating carbs beforehand.

I think sleeping with the pump on would be hard and take a while to get used

to! I already count carbs and use an insulin-to-carb ratio to cover snacks

and meals with Humalog, so that aspect wouldn't be new to me if I get a

pump.

Jen

[Guest guest]

Hi Bob,

Thanks for the welcome. Do you find the pump helps with exercise? I'm fairly

active and have such a hard time avoiding lows during exercise, despite

cutting back on Humalog and eating carbs beforehand.

I think sleeping with the pump on would be hard and take a while to get used

to! I already count carbs and use an insulin-to-carb ratio to cover snacks

and meals with Humalog, so that aspect wouldn't be new to me if I get a

pump.

Jen

[Guest guest]

Hi Jen,

I am 43, but feel like a kid a lot of the time, so I don't know what I am.

Well, I do know I am a type I and have been since about 1964 (I don't

remember not taking shots).

Yesterday on NPR I heard cats cannot taste sweetness because that gene got

turned off long ago; I sometimes suspect I can taste the sweetness for a

whole litter of kittens with my sweet tooth.

I too am much better off with the Lantis/ Humalog insulin.

Take care

Ted

Seattle WA

<Jen wrote>

Are there any other young adults on the list? I look forward to

participating and I'm sure learning things along the way as well!

Jen

[Guest guest]

Hi Jen,

I am 43, but feel like a kid a lot of the time, so I don't know what I am.

Well, I do know I am a type I and have been since about 1964 (I don't

remember not taking shots).

Yesterday on NPR I heard cats cannot taste sweetness because that gene got

turned off long ago; I sometimes suspect I can taste the sweetness for a

whole litter of kittens with my sweet tooth.

I too am much better off with the Lantis/ Humalog insulin.

Take care

Ted

Seattle WA

<Jen wrote>

Are there any other young adults on the list? I look forward to

participating and I'm sure learning things along the way as well!

Jen

[Guest guest]

Hi Jen,

I am 43, but feel like a kid a lot of the time, so I don't know what I am.

Well, I do know I am a type I and have been since about 1964 (I don't

remember not taking shots).

Yesterday on NPR I heard cats cannot taste sweetness because that gene got

turned off long ago; I sometimes suspect I can taste the sweetness for a

whole litter of kittens with my sweet tooth.

I too am much better off with the Lantis/ Humalog insulin.

Take care

Ted

Seattle WA

<Jen wrote>

Are there any other young adults on the list? I look forward to

participating and I'm sure learning things along the way as well!

Jen

[Guest guest]

Jesso wrote:Hi Bob,

Thanks for the welcome. Do you find the pump helps with exercise? I'm fairly

active and have such a hard time avoiding lows during exercise, despite

cutting back on Humalog and eating carbs beforehand.

I think sleeping with the pump on would be hard and take a while to get used

to! I already count carbs and use an insulin-to-carb ratio to cover snacks

and meals with Humalog, so that aspect wouldn't be new to me if I get a

pump.

Jen

Hey Jen...I'm really active all the time both at work (auto worker) and at play.

[Guest guest]

Jesso wrote:Hi Bob,

Thanks for the welcome. Do you find the pump helps with exercise? I'm fairly

active and have such a hard time avoiding lows during exercise, despite

cutting back on Humalog and eating carbs beforehand.

I think sleeping with the pump on would be hard and take a while to get used

to! I already count carbs and use an insulin-to-carb ratio to cover snacks

and meals with Humalog, so that aspect wouldn't be new to me if I get a

pump.

Jen

Hey Jen...I'm really active all the time both at work (auto worker) and at play.

[Guest guest]

Jesso wrote:Hi Bob,

Thanks for the welcome. Do you find the pump helps with exercise? I'm fairly

active and have such a hard time avoiding lows during exercise, despite

cutting back on Humalog and eating carbs beforehand.

I think sleeping with the pump on would be hard and take a while to get used

to! I already count carbs and use an insulin-to-carb ratio to cover snacks

and meals with Humalog, so that aspect wouldn't be new to me if I get a

pump.

Jen

Hey Jen...I'm really active all the time both at work (auto worker) and at play.

[Guest guest]

Jen,

you are one of the few younger people I have seen on this list, but I am on

and off. I was diagnosed when I was 9 as well and am now 26. I am on a

pump and love it. What your doing now is more or less like being on a pump

though.

Amy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/6/2005 9:30:10 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

bri448@... writes:

It just depresses me that I have gotten to this point. I had been

maintaining 6.3 - 6.7 for 5 years and now it just isn't working any more.

Hi ,

Welcome back. You've been missed.

You have taken the first step by re-joining the group. Your next step is to

get back in control and I know you can do it. Don't let the higher number

stress or depress you. You know that will only lead to higher numbers. Has

your doctor changed your meds to see if a different one will work better?

, do you have any ideas why the numbers have gone up? I know that

there has been stress in your life in the last few years and I know you were

extremely busy with work and family.

Today is the day you will start over. Yesterday cannot be changed, don't

worry about tomorrow. Just take one day or one meal at a time. You will soon

see positive results.

hugs

Eunice

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/6/2005 9:30:10 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

bri448@... writes:

It just depresses me that I have gotten to this point. I had been

maintaining 6.3 - 6.7 for 5 years and now it just isn't working any more.

Hi ,

Welcome back. You've been missed.

You have taken the first step by re-joining the group. Your next step is to

get back in control and I know you can do it. Don't let the higher number

stress or depress you. You know that will only lead to higher numbers. Has

your doctor changed your meds to see if a different one will work better?

, do you have any ideas why the numbers have gone up? I know that

there has been stress in your life in the last few years and I know you were

extremely busy with work and family.

Today is the day you will start over. Yesterday cannot be changed, don't

worry about tomorrow. Just take one day or one meal at a time. You will soon

see positive results.

hugs

Eunice

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/6/2005 9:30:10 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

bri448@... writes:

It just depresses me that I have gotten to this point. I had been

maintaining 6.3 - 6.7 for 5 years and now it just isn't working any more.

Hi ,

Welcome back. You've been missed.

You have taken the first step by re-joining the group. Your next step is to

get back in control and I know you can do it. Don't let the higher number

stress or depress you. You know that will only lead to higher numbers. Has

your doctor changed your meds to see if a different one will work better?

, do you have any ideas why the numbers have gone up? I know that

there has been stress in your life in the last few years and I know you were

extremely busy with work and family.

Today is the day you will start over. Yesterday cannot be changed, don't

worry about tomorrow. Just take one day or one meal at a time. You will soon

see positive results.

hugs

Eunice

[Guest guest]

I am totallt new here and did not realize I had diabetes as part ofd my

maladies as I was still feling hypoglycemic all the time, but apparently my

that is not the case.

I am just wanting to knoiw, what are people doing here for diabetes other

than satching carbs? Anything?

~Inga

on 9/5/05 7:32 AM, at bri448@... wrote:

My name is and I am a former member and used to be moderator of the

group. I decided to rejoin for the support. My diabetes is out of

control, my last a1c was 8.5 and I surely need help getting back in control.

It just depresses me that I have gotten to this point. I had been

maintaining 6.3 - 6.7 for 5 years and now it just isn't working any more.

[Guest guest]

I am totallt new here and did not realize I had diabetes as part ofd my

maladies as I was still feling hypoglycemic all the time, but apparently my

that is not the case.

I am just wanting to knoiw, what are people doing here for diabetes other

than satching carbs? Anything?

~Inga

on 9/5/05 7:32 AM, at bri448@... wrote:

My name is and I am a former member and used to be moderator of the

group. I decided to rejoin for the support. My diabetes is out of

control, my last a1c was 8.5 and I surely need help getting back in control.

It just depresses me that I have gotten to this point. I had been

maintaining 6.3 - 6.7 for 5 years and now it just isn't working any more.

[Guest guest]

Hi Eunice, thanks for the welcome. He increased my glucophage and my amaryl.

That has helped, the rest is up to me. I don't really have any added stress. I

did start a new job in Oct. then the office closed in Feb, fortunately I was

able to go right from one job to another with only 1 day in between. That job

is possibly a little stressful, that was a mouthful, lol. I am a cust service

rep for various states helping pharmacies get prescriptions through on medicaid.

It is stressful at times, but I like it.

I am participating in a blood pressure study starting this week. It is also

supposed to work on healthier eating and exercise. My bp is actually under

better control.

Hugs,

Re: Intro

In a message dated 9/6/2005 9:30:10 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

bri448@... writes:

It just depresses me that I have gotten to this point. I had been

maintaining 6.3 - 6.7 for 5 years and now it just isn't working any more.

Hi ,

Welcome back. You've been missed.

You have taken the first step by re-joining the group. Your next step is to

get back in control and I know you can do it. Don't let the higher number

stress or depress you. You know that will only lead to higher numbers. Has

your doctor changed your meds to see if a different one will work better?

, do you have any ideas why the numbers have gone up? I know that

there has been stress in your life in the last few years and I know you were

extremely busy with work and family.

Today is the day you will start over. Yesterday cannot be changed, don't

worry about tomorrow. Just take one day or one meal at a time. You will

soon

see positive results.

hugs

Eunice

[Guest guest]

Hi Eunice, thanks for the welcome. He increased my glucophage and my amaryl.

That has helped, the rest is up to me. I don't really have any added stress. I

did start a new job in Oct. then the office closed in Feb, fortunately I was

able to go right from one job to another with only 1 day in between. That job

is possibly a little stressful, that was a mouthful, lol. I am a cust service

rep for various states helping pharmacies get prescriptions through on medicaid.

It is stressful at times, but I like it.

I am participating in a blood pressure study starting this week. It is also

supposed to work on healthier eating and exercise. My bp is actually under

better control.

Hugs,

Re: Intro

In a message dated 9/6/2005 9:30:10 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

bri448@... writes:

It just depresses me that I have gotten to this point. I had been

maintaining 6.3 - 6.7 for 5 years and now it just isn't working any more.

Hi ,

Welcome back. You've been missed.

You have taken the first step by re-joining the group. Your next step is to

get back in control and I know you can do it. Don't let the higher number

stress or depress you. You know that will only lead to higher numbers. Has

your doctor changed your meds to see if a different one will work better?

, do you have any ideas why the numbers have gone up? I know that

there has been stress in your life in the last few years and I know you were

extremely busy with work and family.

Today is the day you will start over. Yesterday cannot be changed, don't

worry about tomorrow. Just take one day or one meal at a time. You will

soon

see positive results.

hugs

Eunice

[Guest guest]

Hi Eunice, thanks for the welcome. He increased my glucophage and my amaryl.

That has helped, the rest is up to me. I don't really have any added stress. I

did start a new job in Oct. then the office closed in Feb, fortunately I was

able to go right from one job to another with only 1 day in between. That job

is possibly a little stressful, that was a mouthful, lol. I am a cust service

rep for various states helping pharmacies get prescriptions through on medicaid.

It is stressful at times, but I like it.

I am participating in a blood pressure study starting this week. It is also

supposed to work on healthier eating and exercise. My bp is actually under

better control.

Hugs,

Re: Intro

In a message dated 9/6/2005 9:30:10 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

bri448@... writes:

It just depresses me that I have gotten to this point. I had been

maintaining 6.3 - 6.7 for 5 years and now it just isn't working any more.

Hi ,

Welcome back. You've been missed.

You have taken the first step by re-joining the group. Your next step is to

get back in control and I know you can do it. Don't let the higher number

stress or depress you. You know that will only lead to higher numbers. Has

your doctor changed your meds to see if a different one will work better?

, do you have any ideas why the numbers have gone up? I know that

there has been stress in your life in the last few years and I know you were

extremely busy with work and family.

Today is the day you will start over. Yesterday cannot be changed, don't

worry about tomorrow. Just take one day or one meal at a time. You will

soon

see positive results.

hugs

Eunice

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I'm looking for support from others who've experienced the lifelong pain of a

rejecting/blaming mother. I've been consigned to the " scapegoat " role in my

FOO, off and on for decades (am now 47).

My Mother appears to be be primarily the QUEEN BPD type with strong WITCH

tendencies.

I was in this group a few yrs. back when I first realized this and was in shock

about it (came out of denial?), and worked hard on my own recovery, esp. setting

boundaries, which did not work (backfired). I've put my recovery on the

backburner for survival reasons, basicaly, but am really needing support and

understanding now, again. I feel so alone, and like not one person in the world

truly understands what the hell is going on. On top of my own painful feelings,

others do not get it. They unintentionally make me feel worse, often, by

offering advice that somehow makes me feel judged, blamed, or like I'm supposed

to feel guilty (for not loving her unconditionallY). Does anyone identify

w/this?

Things are much more complicated than they were 4-5 yrs.ago, my whole life has

changed. So much loss, so much grief, so much rejection. I don't even know how

I've survived to this point, honestly.

Lately I've been waking up crying each morning, with this pain in my heart.

Still, I just try to be strong and be good, for my kids' sake. I often feel

completely powerless.

Right now my MO has painted me black, and she has pulled my teenage daughter in

to her BPD drama. Dd is 17, living on her own w/bf 150 miles from home for

first time (last 3 months), and is completely enmeshed with my Mom (her

grandma). Dd has very strong BPD traits, and I fear dread this. I'm having

great difficulty dealing with the dramatic interactions between my Mom and my

dd, and how they try to suck me in (I'm usually pretty good w/my DAU, but not

w/my MOM, so I stay away as much as possible).

I'm afraid to go to Christmas (at mom's house), and it looks like the healthiest

thing for me to do at this point is just stay home alone, while she gets to have

christmas w/my kids.

She just sucks the life from me. It is SOOOOOO painful. Things were not this

bad, until after my Stepdad (mom's husband) passed away 4 years ago. And,

things got REAL BAD with my Mom REAL FAST, after that, in fact he wasn't even

gone an hour, and she turned her blaming hatred on me (at first I thought she

was in shock, his body was still in the living room), but not! It's gotten

worse and worse. I truly believe she wishes I were dead and gone from her.

Lynn

[Guest guest]

Hello Lynn,

I am new here myself. While I don't have grown children, I can relate to

feeling alone and that no one understands.

What a horrible thing to feel that you have to sacrifice Christmas with your

children because of all that. Is it possible to invite your children to your

house for a celebration of your own without your nada?

I am very cautious who I speak with about my mom. I have only recently realized

my mom may have a clinical diagnosis. I am a Christian and hear often " You must

honor your parents " and feel frustrated that I'm supposed to lay myself on the

proverbial altar while she continues to hurt with her words and actions. I am

fortunate to have 2 friends who also have mothers with mental disorders and they

have always given me a sympathetic, non-judgmental ear.

Someone recently suggested that NAMI has support groups for family members of

personality disorders....maybe you could see if there is one in your area. Maybe

if you met some people with similar situations it would help you not to feel so

alone and judged by others.

((((HUGS))))

>

> Hello,

> I'm looking for support from others who've experienced the lifelong pain of a

rejecting/blaming mother. I've been consigned to the " scapegoat " role in my

FOO, off and on for decades (am now 47).

>

> My Mother appears to be be primarily the QUEEN BPD type with strong WITCH

tendencies.

>

> I was in this group a few yrs. back when I first realized this and was in

shock about it (came out of denial?), and worked hard on my own recovery, esp.

setting boundaries, which did not work (backfired). I've put my recovery on the

backburner for survival reasons, basicaly, but am really needing support and

understanding now, again. I feel so alone, and like not one person in the world

truly understands what the hell is going on. On top of my own painful feelings,

others do not get it. They unintentionally make me feel worse, often, by

offering advice that somehow makes me feel judged, blamed, or like I'm supposed

to feel guilty (for not loving her unconditionallY). Does anyone identify

w/this?

>

> Things are much more complicated than they were 4-5 yrs.ago, my whole life has

changed. So much loss, so much grief, so much rejection. I don't even know how

I've survived to this point, honestly.

>

> Lately I've been waking up crying each morning, with this pain in my heart.

Still, I just try to be strong and be good, for my kids' sake. I often feel

completely powerless.

>

> Right now my MO has painted me black, and she has pulled my teenage daughter

in to her BPD drama. Dd is 17, living on her own w/bf 150 miles from home for

first time (last 3 months), and is completely enmeshed with my Mom (her

grandma). Dd has very strong BPD traits, and I fear dread this. I'm having

great difficulty dealing with the dramatic interactions between my Mom and my

dd, and how they try to suck me in (I'm usually pretty good w/my DAU, but not

w/my MOM, so I stay away as much as possible).

>

> I'm afraid to go to Christmas (at mom's house), and it looks like the

healthiest thing for me to do at this point is just stay home alone, while she

gets to have christmas w/my kids.

>

> She just sucks the life from me. It is SOOOOOO painful. Things were not this

bad, until after my Stepdad (mom's husband) passed away 4 years ago. And,

things got REAL BAD with my Mom REAL FAST, after that, in fact he wasn't even

gone an hour, and she turned her blaming hatred on me (at first I thought she

was in shock, his body was still in the living room), but not! It's gotten

worse and worse. I truly believe she wishes I were dead and gone from her.

>

> Lynn

>

[Guest guest]

Hello Lynn,

I am new here myself. While I don't have grown children, I can relate to

feeling alone and that no one understands.

What a horrible thing to feel that you have to sacrifice Christmas with your

children because of all that. Is it possible to invite your children to your

house for a celebration of your own without your nada?

I am very cautious who I speak with about my mom. I have only recently realized

my mom may have a clinical diagnosis. I am a Christian and hear often " You must

honor your parents " and feel frustrated that I'm supposed to lay myself on the

proverbial altar while she continues to hurt with her words and actions. I am

fortunate to have 2 friends who also have mothers with mental disorders and they

have always given me a sympathetic, non-judgmental ear.

Someone recently suggested that NAMI has support groups for family members of

personality disorders....maybe you could see if there is one in your area. Maybe

if you met some people with similar situations it would help you not to feel so

alone and judged by others.

((((HUGS))))

>

> Hello,

> I'm looking for support from others who've experienced the lifelong pain of a

rejecting/blaming mother. I've been consigned to the " scapegoat " role in my

FOO, off and on for decades (am now 47).

>

> My Mother appears to be be primarily the QUEEN BPD type with strong WITCH

tendencies.

>

> I was in this group a few yrs. back when I first realized this and was in

shock about it (came out of denial?), and worked hard on my own recovery, esp.

setting boundaries, which did not work (backfired). I've put my recovery on the

backburner for survival reasons, basicaly, but am really needing support and

understanding now, again. I feel so alone, and like not one person in the world

truly understands what the hell is going on. On top of my own painful feelings,

others do not get it. They unintentionally make me feel worse, often, by

offering advice that somehow makes me feel judged, blamed, or like I'm supposed

to feel guilty (for not loving her unconditionallY). Does anyone identify

w/this?

>

> Things are much more complicated than they were 4-5 yrs.ago, my whole life has

changed. So much loss, so much grief, so much rejection. I don't even know how

I've survived to this point, honestly.

>

> Lately I've been waking up crying each morning, with this pain in my heart.

Still, I just try to be strong and be good, for my kids' sake. I often feel

completely powerless.

>

> Right now my MO has painted me black, and she has pulled my teenage daughter

in to her BPD drama. Dd is 17, living on her own w/bf 150 miles from home for

first time (last 3 months), and is completely enmeshed with my Mom (her

grandma). Dd has very strong BPD traits, and I fear dread this. I'm having

great difficulty dealing with the dramatic interactions between my Mom and my

dd, and how they try to suck me in (I'm usually pretty good w/my DAU, but not

w/my MOM, so I stay away as much as possible).

>

> I'm afraid to go to Christmas (at mom's house), and it looks like the

healthiest thing for me to do at this point is just stay home alone, while she

gets to have christmas w/my kids.

>

> She just sucks the life from me. It is SOOOOOO painful. Things were not this

bad, until after my Stepdad (mom's husband) passed away 4 years ago. And,

things got REAL BAD with my Mom REAL FAST, after that, in fact he wasn't even

gone an hour, and she turned her blaming hatred on me (at first I thought she

was in shock, his body was still in the living room), but not! It's gotten

worse and worse. I truly believe she wishes I were dead and gone from her.

>

> Lynn

>

[Guest guest]

This is a very interesting article (see attachment) that was in the paper a few

months ago.

I needed to read it because I am all about the honor and respect...and I was

feeling very guilty and confused about it.

This is very necessary for people with abusive parents.

Amy

Re: INTRO

Hello Lynn,

I am new here myself. While I don't have grown children, I can relate to feeling

alone and that no one understands.

What a horrible thing to feel that you have to sacrifice Christmas with your

children because of all that. Is it possible to invite your children to your

house for a celebration of your own without your nada?

I am very cautious who I speak with about my mom. I have only recently realized

my mom may have a clinical diagnosis. I am a Christian and hear often " You must

honor your parents " and feel frustrated that I'm supposed to lay myself on the

proverbial altar while she continues to hurt with her words and actions. I am

fortunate to have 2 friends who also have mothers with mental disorders and they

have always given me a sympathetic, non-judgmental ear.

Someone recently suggested that NAMI has support groups for family members of

personality disorders....maybe you could see if there is one in your area. Maybe

if you met some people with similar situations it would help you not to feel so

alone and judged by others.

((((HUGS))))

>

> Hello,

> I'm looking for support from others who've experienced the lifelong pain of a

rejecting/blaming mother. I've been consigned to the " scapegoat " role in my

FOO, off and on for decades (am now 47).

>

> My Mother appears to be be primarily the QUEEN BPD type with strong WITCH

tendencies.

>

> I was in this group a few yrs. back when I first realized this and was in

shock about it (came out of denial?), and worked hard on my own recovery, esp.

setting boundaries, which did not work (backfired). I've put my recovery on the

backburner for survival reasons, basicaly, but am really needing support and

understanding now, again. I feel so alone, and like not one person in the world

truly understands what the hell is going on. On top of my own painful feelings,

others do not get it. They unintentionally make me feel worse, often, by

offering advice that somehow makes me feel judged, blamed, or like I'm supposed

to feel guilty (for not loving her unconditionallY). Does anyone identify

w/this?

>

> Things are much more complicated than they were 4-5 yrs.ago, my whole life has

changed. So much loss, so much grief, so much rejection. I don't even know how

I've survived to this point, honestly.

>

> Lately I've been waking up crying each morning, with this pain in my heart.

Still, I just try to be strong and be good, for my kids' sake. I often feel

completely powerless.

>

> Right now my MO has painted me black, and she has pulled my teenage daughter

in to her BPD drama. Dd is 17, living on her own w/bf 150 miles from home for

first time (last 3 months), and is completely enmeshed with my Mom (her

grandma). Dd has very strong BPD traits, and I fear dread this. I'm having

great difficulty dealing with the dramatic interactions between my Mom and my

dd, and how they try to suck me in (I'm usually pretty good w/my DAU, but not

w/my MOM, so I stay away as much as possible).

>

> I'm afraid to go to Christmas (at mom's house), and it looks like the

healthiest thing for me to do at this point is just stay home alone, while she

gets to have christmas w/my kids.

>

> She just sucks the life from me. It is SOOOOOO painful. Things were not this

bad, until after my Stepdad (mom's husband) passed away 4 years ago. And,

things got REAL BAD with my Mom REAL FAST, after that, in fact he wasn't even

gone an hour, and she turned her blaming hatred on me (at first I thought she

was in shock, his body was still in the living room), but not! It's gotten

worse and worse. I truly believe she wishes I were dead and gone from her.

>

> Lynn

>

[Guest guest]

This is a very interesting article (see attachment) that was in the paper a few

months ago.

I needed to read it because I am all about the honor and respect...and I was

feeling very guilty and confused about it.

This is very necessary for people with abusive parents.

Amy

Re: INTRO

Hello Lynn,

I am new here myself. While I don't have grown children, I can relate to feeling

alone and that no one understands.

What a horrible thing to feel that you have to sacrifice Christmas with your

children because of all that. Is it possible to invite your children to your

house for a celebration of your own without your nada?

I am very cautious who I speak with about my mom. I have only recently realized

my mom may have a clinical diagnosis. I am a Christian and hear often " You must

honor your parents " and feel frustrated that I'm supposed to lay myself on the

proverbial altar while she continues to hurt with her words and actions. I am

fortunate to have 2 friends who also have mothers with mental disorders and they

have always given me a sympathetic, non-judgmental ear.

Someone recently suggested that NAMI has support groups for family members of

personality disorders....maybe you could see if there is one in your area. Maybe

if you met some people with similar situations it would help you not to feel so

alone and judged by others.

((((HUGS))))

>

> Hello,

> I'm looking for support from others who've experienced the lifelong pain of a

rejecting/blaming mother. I've been consigned to the " scapegoat " role in my

FOO, off and on for decades (am now 47).

>

> My Mother appears to be be primarily the QUEEN BPD type with strong WITCH

tendencies.

>

> I was in this group a few yrs. back when I first realized this and was in

shock about it (came out of denial?), and worked hard on my own recovery, esp.

setting boundaries, which did not work (backfired). I've put my recovery on the

backburner for survival reasons, basicaly, but am really needing support and

understanding now, again. I feel so alone, and like not one person in the world

truly understands what the hell is going on. On top of my own painful feelings,

others do not get it. They unintentionally make me feel worse, often, by

offering advice that somehow makes me feel judged, blamed, or like I'm supposed

to feel guilty (for not loving her unconditionallY). Does anyone identify

w/this?

>

> Things are much more complicated than they were 4-5 yrs.ago, my whole life has

changed. So much loss, so much grief, so much rejection. I don't even know how

I've survived to this point, honestly.

>

> Lately I've been waking up crying each morning, with this pain in my heart.

Still, I just try to be strong and be good, for my kids' sake. I often feel

completely powerless.

>

> Right now my MO has painted me black, and she has pulled my teenage daughter

in to her BPD drama. Dd is 17, living on her own w/bf 150 miles from home for

first time (last 3 months), and is completely enmeshed with my Mom (her

grandma). Dd has very strong BPD traits, and I fear dread this. I'm having

great difficulty dealing with the dramatic interactions between my Mom and my

dd, and how they try to suck me in (I'm usually pretty good w/my DAU, but not

w/my MOM, so I stay away as much as possible).

>

> I'm afraid to go to Christmas (at mom's house), and it looks like the

healthiest thing for me to do at this point is just stay home alone, while she

gets to have christmas w/my kids.

>

> She just sucks the life from me. It is SOOOOOO painful. Things were not this

bad, until after my Stepdad (mom's husband) passed away 4 years ago. And,

things got REAL BAD with my Mom REAL FAST, after that, in fact he wasn't even

gone an hour, and she turned her blaming hatred on me (at first I thought she

was in shock, his body was still in the living room), but not! It's gotten

worse and worse. I truly believe she wishes I were dead and gone from her.

>

> Lynn

>

[Guest guest]

This is a very interesting article (see attachment) that was in the paper a few

months ago.

I needed to read it because I am all about the honor and respect...and I was

feeling very guilty and confused about it.

This is very necessary for people with abusive parents.

Amy

Re: INTRO

Hello Lynn,

I am new here myself. While I don't have grown children, I can relate to feeling

alone and that no one understands.

What a horrible thing to feel that you have to sacrifice Christmas with your

children because of all that. Is it possible to invite your children to your

house for a celebration of your own without your nada?

I am very cautious who I speak with about my mom. I have only recently realized

my mom may have a clinical diagnosis. I am a Christian and hear often " You must

honor your parents " and feel frustrated that I'm supposed to lay myself on the

proverbial altar while she continues to hurt with her words and actions. I am

fortunate to have 2 friends who also have mothers with mental disorders and they

have always given me a sympathetic, non-judgmental ear.

Someone recently suggested that NAMI has support groups for family members of

personality disorders....maybe you could see if there is one in your area. Maybe

if you met some people with similar situations it would help you not to feel so

alone and judged by others.

((((HUGS))))

>

> Hello,

> I'm looking for support from others who've experienced the lifelong pain of a

rejecting/blaming mother. I've been consigned to the " scapegoat " role in my

FOO, off and on for decades (am now 47).

>

> My Mother appears to be be primarily the QUEEN BPD type with strong WITCH

tendencies.

>

> I was in this group a few yrs. back when I first realized this and was in

shock about it (came out of denial?), and worked hard on my own recovery, esp.

setting boundaries, which did not work (backfired). I've put my recovery on the

backburner for survival reasons, basicaly, but am really needing support and

understanding now, again. I feel so alone, and like not one person in the world

truly understands what the hell is going on. On top of my own painful feelings,

others do not get it. They unintentionally make me feel worse, often, by

offering advice that somehow makes me feel judged, blamed, or like I'm supposed

to feel guilty (for not loving her unconditionallY). Does anyone identify

w/this?

>

> Things are much more complicated than they were 4-5 yrs.ago, my whole life has

changed. So much loss, so much grief, so much rejection. I don't even know how

I've survived to this point, honestly.

>

> Lately I've been waking up crying each morning, with this pain in my heart.

Still, I just try to be strong and be good, for my kids' sake. I often feel

completely powerless.

>

> Right now my MO has painted me black, and she has pulled my teenage daughter

in to her BPD drama. Dd is 17, living on her own w/bf 150 miles from home for

first time (last 3 months), and is completely enmeshed with my Mom (her

grandma). Dd has very strong BPD traits, and I fear dread this. I'm having

great difficulty dealing with the dramatic interactions between my Mom and my

dd, and how they try to suck me in (I'm usually pretty good w/my DAU, but not

w/my MOM, so I stay away as much as possible).

>

> I'm afraid to go to Christmas (at mom's house), and it looks like the

healthiest thing for me to do at this point is just stay home alone, while she

gets to have christmas w/my kids.

>

> She just sucks the life from me. It is SOOOOOO painful. Things were not this

bad, until after my Stepdad (mom's husband) passed away 4 years ago. And,

things got REAL BAD with my Mom REAL FAST, after that, in fact he wasn't even

gone an hour, and she turned her blaming hatred on me (at first I thought she

was in shock, his body was still in the living room), but not! It's gotten

worse and worse. I truly believe she wishes I were dead and gone from her.

>

> Lynn

>