INTRO

[Guest guest]

No such thing as intrusion in this group.

Your name made me smile; not sure of your meanings. But my step-dad used to

call my nada's rantings gibberish. Loved that. He's gone now; I miss him but

carry those good things in my heart. He was an eccentric, genius of a man who

is the main reason I am sane and have a sense of humor today.

Anyway, I have to go and can't write today. My little boys are SO sick. We

have some terrible bug going around here. They actually shut down the pediatric

after hours clinic early because they were too full! My youngest is

experiencing respiratory distress, so we are on acute observation with back to

back breathing treatments. Both boys are asthmatic. More later? Would like to

hear about you and how you are doing.

Sincerely,

+Coal Miner's Daughter

>

> Hi, Lynn & CMD,

> Am I intruding if I join this thread? I just joined the yahoo group. Don't

know where to start. It's funny how far apart we may be in

age/background/religion/etc., but we have had such similar experiences & may

likely have developed similar perspectives on life. Even though my mother seems

a little different from each of yours, I still feel like I can relate to you.

>

> -Gibberish

>

[Guest guest]

No such thing as intrusion in this group.

Your name made me smile; not sure of your meanings. But my step-dad used to

call my nada's rantings gibberish. Loved that. He's gone now; I miss him but

carry those good things in my heart. He was an eccentric, genius of a man who

is the main reason I am sane and have a sense of humor today.

Anyway, I have to go and can't write today. My little boys are SO sick. We

have some terrible bug going around here. They actually shut down the pediatric

after hours clinic early because they were too full! My youngest is

experiencing respiratory distress, so we are on acute observation with back to

back breathing treatments. Both boys are asthmatic. More later? Would like to

hear about you and how you are doing.

Sincerely,

+Coal Miner's Daughter

>

> Hi, Lynn & CMD,

> Am I intruding if I join this thread? I just joined the yahoo group. Don't

know where to start. It's funny how far apart we may be in

age/background/religion/etc., but we have had such similar experiences & may

likely have developed similar perspectives on life. Even though my mother seems

a little different from each of yours, I still feel like I can relate to you.

>

> -Gibberish

>

[Guest guest]

Ahhh, I hope this group serves as the stress relief that I've failed to find in

any friend or significant other. Ok, where to start. I believe my mom is a BP.

In one of my undergraduate psych classes, when we went over BPD, I kind of had

an epiphany, as I saw her fitting many of the criteria in the DSM IV. I

immediately felt guilty for thinking that way about my mother. I was, at the

time, going through a profound depression, so I attributed my crazy inkling as a

product of my own issues, and I pushed the thought aside. I never forgot about

the idea that she could have BPD, but I didn't want to further entertain the

thought, as I've been raised to believe that parents have the utmost respect, no

matter what their " flaws, " and most of what I see as flaws are due to my

immaturity and shortcomings. I never told a soul about my belief, or even hinted

at the thought of my mom being anything but a flawed human being. Then my

younger brother came to me a couple of yrs later while he was taking a psych

class in high school. He asked me if I had heard of BPD, and he thinks mom has

that. I was shocked. It reaffirmed my hypothesis.

It's been several yrs, and I finally started searching for help for myself, as

there was no way I could convince my entire family to go to therapy. I found the

Eggshells book. I've only gotten time to read the first few chapters, but I

wanted to check out the online group, so here I am. I'm 24. I just got engaged,

and my mom is really unhappy about it. She wanted me to marry Brad Pitt, and my

fiance doesn't live up to her physical standards- we are the same height, and

she thinks that defines who he is. She doesn't even want to give him a chance.

Because he is short (he's not a midget, just vertically challenged), my nada

believes that means he has no personality, he is not man enough, he is just a

kid & is not good enough for me. I'm tired of crying, punching my pillow, and

making excuses to get out of the house. Although my dad and I have always been

extremely close, my dad is uncomfortable w/the engagement for his own reasons

that are unrelated to my nada's thoughts. However, just having someone else on

her side- and her husband, for the 1st time in her life- is giving my nada a lot

of reassurance in her actions. In the process of calling out insults about my

fiance, she has deeply insulted me, saying that I lack confidence, I am settling

for him, I am attaching myself to the 1st man who gave me attention (little does

she know), the list goes on. I am emotionally drained. I have a big transition

coming up in my life. I am kind of pissed at my dad b/c he knows better than to

voice his opinions to my mom, but somehow I have hurt him, and I know he is just

trying to deal w/his own stress.

My parents are complete opposites. I am almost exactly like my father in nature.

Either that, or my dad & I have developed similar dispositions due to our lives

with nada. My brother has taken many traits from my nada, making him

high-maintenance, but not a BP. My parents' marriage was arranged, and I know

that my dad would be a different person today, had he not suffered the tolls of

a marriage where the care is not reciprocated. I have the deepest love and

respect for him. My parents stayed together for my sake when I was a baby.

Although I don't agree w/the decision, I know they had my best interest in mind.

I feel like I am throwing out random information... Am I painting a decent

picture here? Oftentimes, I feel like I am going crazy. Maybe some study in the

future will find evidence of a genetic correlation w/BPD. Oh, God, I hope not. I

am going to argue nurture over nature here.

CMD, how are your kids? It's that time of year, where 5 seconds outdoors without

protection from the cold weather is all it takes to catch something. I hope they

get better soon. Don't know why I chose this name. It just popped into my head,

also b/c my nada's thinking pattern is complete gibberish to me. I feel like a

horrible daughter. What kind of daughter doesn't learn to communicate w/her

mother after 24 years? I'd like to consider myself mature, but my interactions

w/nada always prove that wrong. Wow, I just wrote 4 paragraphs about ME ME ME.

Tell me more about yourselves, please.

[Guest guest]

Ahhh, I hope this group serves as the stress relief that I've failed to find in

any friend or significant other. Ok, where to start. I believe my mom is a BP.

In one of my undergraduate psych classes, when we went over BPD, I kind of had

an epiphany, as I saw her fitting many of the criteria in the DSM IV. I

immediately felt guilty for thinking that way about my mother. I was, at the

time, going through a profound depression, so I attributed my crazy inkling as a

product of my own issues, and I pushed the thought aside. I never forgot about

the idea that she could have BPD, but I didn't want to further entertain the

thought, as I've been raised to believe that parents have the utmost respect, no

matter what their " flaws, " and most of what I see as flaws are due to my

immaturity and shortcomings. I never told a soul about my belief, or even hinted

at the thought of my mom being anything but a flawed human being. Then my

younger brother came to me a couple of yrs later while he was taking a psych

class in high school. He asked me if I had heard of BPD, and he thinks mom has

that. I was shocked. It reaffirmed my hypothesis.

It's been several yrs, and I finally started searching for help for myself, as

there was no way I could convince my entire family to go to therapy. I found the

Eggshells book. I've only gotten time to read the first few chapters, but I

wanted to check out the online group, so here I am. I'm 24. I just got engaged,

and my mom is really unhappy about it. She wanted me to marry Brad Pitt, and my

fiance doesn't live up to her physical standards- we are the same height, and

she thinks that defines who he is. She doesn't even want to give him a chance.

Because he is short (he's not a midget, just vertically challenged), my nada

believes that means he has no personality, he is not man enough, he is just a

kid & is not good enough for me. I'm tired of crying, punching my pillow, and

making excuses to get out of the house. Although my dad and I have always been

extremely close, my dad is uncomfortable w/the engagement for his own reasons

that are unrelated to my nada's thoughts. However, just having someone else on

her side- and her husband, for the 1st time in her life- is giving my nada a lot

of reassurance in her actions. In the process of calling out insults about my

fiance, she has deeply insulted me, saying that I lack confidence, I am settling

for him, I am attaching myself to the 1st man who gave me attention (little does

she know), the list goes on. I am emotionally drained. I have a big transition

coming up in my life. I am kind of pissed at my dad b/c he knows better than to

voice his opinions to my mom, but somehow I have hurt him, and I know he is just

trying to deal w/his own stress.

My parents are complete opposites. I am almost exactly like my father in nature.

Either that, or my dad & I have developed similar dispositions due to our lives

with nada. My brother has taken many traits from my nada, making him

high-maintenance, but not a BP. My parents' marriage was arranged, and I know

that my dad would be a different person today, had he not suffered the tolls of

a marriage where the care is not reciprocated. I have the deepest love and

respect for him. My parents stayed together for my sake when I was a baby.

Although I don't agree w/the decision, I know they had my best interest in mind.

I feel like I am throwing out random information... Am I painting a decent

picture here? Oftentimes, I feel like I am going crazy. Maybe some study in the

future will find evidence of a genetic correlation w/BPD. Oh, God, I hope not. I

am going to argue nurture over nature here.

CMD, how are your kids? It's that time of year, where 5 seconds outdoors without

protection from the cold weather is all it takes to catch something. I hope they

get better soon. Don't know why I chose this name. It just popped into my head,

also b/c my nada's thinking pattern is complete gibberish to me. I feel like a

horrible daughter. What kind of daughter doesn't learn to communicate w/her

mother after 24 years? I'd like to consider myself mature, but my interactions

w/nada always prove that wrong. Wow, I just wrote 4 paragraphs about ME ME ME.

Tell me more about yourselves, please.

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry coalminersdotter for you and your kids. Hope it will be better

soon. I spent many hours and days in hospital with my kid mounths ago and I know

how hard it can be. Best wishes from me!

> >

> > Hi, Lynn & CMD,

> > Am I intruding if I join this thread? I just joined the yahoo group. Don't

know where to start. It's funny how far apart we may be in

age/background/religion/etc., but we have had such similar experiences & may

likely have developed similar perspectives on life. Even though my mother seems

a little different from each of yours, I still feel like I can relate to you.

> >

> > -Gibberish

> >

>

[Guest guest]

gibberish,

I wish I had the poise that you have when I was your age.

You have such a good understanding of your family...and you are such a good

person.

I've always felt the same as you, but you seem to have a better grip on it than

I ever have.

You also seem to know how to handle yourself.

If you love your fiance, then follow your own path...do not give credence to any

of her false truths about who you should marry. You must make your own decisions

in your life.

You are young, with your head on straight, even with the twisting emotions you

get from your mom.

Continue to educate yourself and know where your boundaries are...preserve

yourself and your feelings.

I too always said I have the same peaceful nature that my dad always had...but

what i found out as an adult was that we both catered to mom, with our

easy-going personalities...always putting ourselves last. I resent that

identification now. I wish I had been more rebellious!

marry your lovely guy, and remember that brad pitt cheated on his wife and

married his mistress.

hollywood pretty boys are not what we strive for!!

Amy

Re: INTRO

Ahhh, I hope this group serves as the stress relief that I've failed to find in

any friend or significant other. Ok, where to start. I believe my mom is a BP.

In one of my undergraduate psych classes, when we went over BPD, I kind of had

an epiphany, as I saw her fitting many of the criteria in the DSM IV. I

immediately felt guilty for thinking that way about my mother. I was, at the

time, going through a profound depression, so I attributed my crazy inkling as a

product of my own issues, and I pushed the thought aside. I never forgot about

the idea that she could have BPD, but I didn't want to further entertain the

thought, as I've been raised to believe that parents have the utmost respect, no

matter what their " flaws, " and most of what I see as flaws are due to my

immaturity and shortcomings. I never told a soul about my belief, or even hinted

at the thought of my mom being anything but a flawed human being. Then my

younger brother came to me a couple of yrs later while he was taking a psych

class in high school. He asked me if I had heard of BPD, and he thinks mom has

that. I was shocked. It reaffirmed my hypothesis.

It's been several yrs, and I finally started searching for help for myself, as

there was no way I could convince my entire family to go to therapy. I found the

Eggshells book. I've only gotten time to read the first few chapters, but I

wanted to check out the online group, so here I am. I'm 24. I just got engaged,

and my mom is really unhappy about it. She wanted me to marry Brad Pitt, and my

fiance doesn't live up to her physical standards- we are the same height, and

she thinks that defines who he is. She doesn't even want to give him a chance.

Because he is short (he's not a midget, just vertically challenged), my nada

believes that means he has no personality, he is not man enough, he is just a

kid & is not good enough for me. I'm tired of crying, punching my pillow, and

making excuses to get out of the house. Although my dad and I have always been

extremely close, my dad is uncomfortable w/the engagement for his own reasons

that are unrelated to my nada's thoughts. However, just having someone else on

her side- and her husband, for the 1st time in her life- is giving my nada a lot

of reassurance in her actions. In the process of calling out insults about my

fiance, she has deeply insulted me, saying that I lack confidence, I am settling

for him, I am attaching myself to the 1st man who gave me attention (little does

she know), the list goes on. I am emotionally drained. I have a big transition

coming up in my life. I am kind of pissed at my dad b/c he knows better than to

voice his opinions to my mom, but somehow I have hurt him, and I know he is just

trying to deal w/his own stress.

My parents are complete opposites. I am almost exactly like my father in nature.

Either that, or my dad & I have developed similar dispositions due to our lives

with nada. My brother has taken many traits from my nada, making him

high-maintenance, but not a BP. My parents' marriage was arranged, and I know

that my dad would be a different person today, had he not suffered the tolls of

a marriage where the care is not reciprocated. I have the deepest love and

respect for him. My parents stayed together for my sake when I was a baby.

Although I don't agree w/the decision, I know they had my best interest in mind.

I feel like I am throwing out random information... Am I painting a decent

picture here? Oftentimes, I feel like I am going crazy. Maybe some study in the

future will find evidence of a genetic correlation w/BPD. Oh, God, I hope not. I

am going to argue nurture over nature here.

CMD, how are your kids? It's that time of year, where 5 seconds outdoors without

protection from the cold weather is all it takes to catch something. I hope they

get better soon. Don't know why I chose this name. It just popped into my head,

also b/c my nada's thinking pattern is complete gibberish to me. I feel like a

horrible daughter. What kind of daughter doesn't learn to communicate w/her

mother after 24 years? I'd like to consider myself mature, but my interactions

w/nada always prove that wrong. Wow, I just wrote 4 paragraphs about ME ME ME.

Tell me more about yourselves, please.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the kind words, Amy. I think you don't give yourself enough credit.

You obviously are intelligent, and you understand your situation w/nada

thorougly. But don't regret non-rebellion, hah, that's opening a can of worms! I

sort of rebelled in my teenage years- in my own, nerdy way- but nada made my

life a living hell. You are better off laying low, I think. After all, the BPD

makes our mothers miserable human beings. I feel sorry for them.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the kind words, Amy. I think you don't give yourself enough credit.

You obviously are intelligent, and you understand your situation w/nada

thorougly. But don't regret non-rebellion, hah, that's opening a can of worms! I

sort of rebelled in my teenage years- in my own, nerdy way- but nada made my

life a living hell. You are better off laying low, I think. After all, the BPD

makes our mothers miserable human beings. I feel sorry for them.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the kind words, Amy. I think you don't give yourself enough credit.

You obviously are intelligent, and you understand your situation w/nada

thorougly. But don't regret non-rebellion, hah, that's opening a can of worms! I

sort of rebelled in my teenage years- in my own, nerdy way- but nada made my

life a living hell. You are better off laying low, I think. After all, the BPD

makes our mothers miserable human beings. I feel sorry for them.

[Guest guest]

Gibberish, I feel sorry for them too...which has really postponed my own

healing. Ever hear of Stockholm Syndrome?

Amy

Re: INTRO

Thanks for the kind words, Amy. I think you don't give yourself enough credit.

You obviously are intelligent, and you understand your situation w/nada

thorougly. But don't regret non-rebellion, hah, that's opening a can of worms! I

sort of rebelled in my teenage years- in my own, nerdy way- but nada made my

life a living hell. You are better off laying low, I think. After all, the BPD

makes our mothers miserable human beings. I feel sorry for them.

[Guest guest]

Gibberish, I feel sorry for them too...which has really postponed my own

healing. Ever hear of Stockholm Syndrome?

Amy

Re: INTRO

Thanks for the kind words, Amy. I think you don't give yourself enough credit.

You obviously are intelligent, and you understand your situation w/nada

thorougly. But don't regret non-rebellion, hah, that's opening a can of worms! I

sort of rebelled in my teenage years- in my own, nerdy way- but nada made my

life a living hell. You are better off laying low, I think. After all, the BPD

makes our mothers miserable human beings. I feel sorry for them.

[Guest guest]

Gibberish, I feel sorry for them too...which has really postponed my own

healing. Ever hear of Stockholm Syndrome?

Amy

Re: INTRO

Thanks for the kind words, Amy. I think you don't give yourself enough credit.

You obviously are intelligent, and you understand your situation w/nada

thorougly. But don't regret non-rebellion, hah, that's opening a can of worms! I

sort of rebelled in my teenage years- in my own, nerdy way- but nada made my

life a living hell. You are better off laying low, I think. After all, the BPD

makes our mothers miserable human beings. I feel sorry for them.

[Guest guest]

Amy, we have been hit by the plague!!! Let's move to Sweden, far, far away.

>

> Gibberish, I feel sorry for them too...which has really postponed my own

healing. Ever hear of Stockholm Syndrome?

> Amy

>

>

>

>

>

> Re: INTRO

>

>

>

>

>

> Thanks for the kind words, Amy. I think you don't give yourself enough credit.

You obviously are intelligent, and you understand your situation w/nada

thorougly. But don't regret non-rebellion, hah, that's opening a can of worms! I

sort of rebelled in my teenage years- in my own, nerdy way- but nada made my

life a living hell. You are better off laying low, I think. After all, the BPD

makes our mothers miserable human beings. I feel sorry for them.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Amy, we have been hit by the plague!!! Let's move to Sweden, far, far away.

>

> Gibberish, I feel sorry for them too...which has really postponed my own

healing. Ever hear of Stockholm Syndrome?

> Amy

>

>

>

>

>

> Re: INTRO

>

>

>

>

>

> Thanks for the kind words, Amy. I think you don't give yourself enough credit.

You obviously are intelligent, and you understand your situation w/nada

thorougly. But don't regret non-rebellion, hah, that's opening a can of worms! I

sort of rebelled in my teenage years- in my own, nerdy way- but nada made my

life a living hell. You are better off laying low, I think. After all, the BPD

makes our mothers miserable human beings. I feel sorry for them.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>