Food sucks and baker's cysts. I don't know about hamster ovaries.

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I haven't been able to follow much this week... I'm having some kind of godawful stomach reaction to SOMETHING and I've been vomiting for days. Of course since I am so used to my laundry list of medical abnormalities I assumed it was either a medication-based thing or a liver thing or an ulcer thing or some other panicky health thing... well after days of tests and finally being in the ER for eight hours overnight so I could be rehydrated through an IV, my whole posse of MDs and experts have come to the conclusion that: it was probably something I ate. Oh, just shoot me now. It turned out that I threw up some essential medications a few times in a row, ended up taking too much of one and not enough of another because I couldn't really gauge how much I'd absorbed before vomiting, etc. And I was dehydrated as all hell and not eating solid food for four days, which combined with the medication screwups landed me in the hospital. All because I apparently ate a bad shrimp. I repeat: shoot me now. And be really careful eating shrimp. All seafood, really. And chicken. And while we're at it, I guess you shouldn't eat any sugar, or white flour, or carbs, or salt, or anything that's at all processed, and of course no red meat, so along with the chicken thing and the fact that you probably should be careful with pork because of tape worms, you basically shouldn't eat meat at all. Or seafood. Or nightshade vegetables, of course, and fruits have natural sugars in them so those are out. Don't eat potatoes or corn because of the starch\carbs thing. And if you eat anything that tastes good, you are GOING TO HELL. This has been a public service announcement from someone with tongue firmly planted in cheek. I'm a little pissed off with food in general right now. I want a cheeseburger or something, but a carefully controlled study recently released by the National Foundation to Promote Bean Curd assures me I'll live ten years longer if I never drive on the same side of the road as a cheeseburger joint again. Or maybe it just SEEMS ten years longer.

The one thing I noticed while skimming this week's email: Donna, yes, I've had two baker's cysts in my (comparably short) lifetime. Both times I was rushed to the ER and admitted to the hospital because of the possibility it might be DVT, which of course it wasn't, because ultrasounds of my calves revealed ruptured baker's cysts, but those MDs have to make money somehow, so I needed to be "observed" for several days until it became apparent that the ultrasound machine was in fact not deliberately lying.

Jenni