Re: Grandhouse, Grandvan, Grandjob

[Guest guest]

If this is the case, I would love for my parents to pay for their Grand-debt,

Grand-bills and Grand-vacations-to-Europe. ;p

>

> Okay, this is really for those of you who are NC or LC with nada. I am being

facitious here, obviously, but if nada insists that she has rights to access

" HER granchildren " , my question is where is the ownership here? Does everything

that I have automatically become her grand-whatever? Does that mean she has a

right to drive my van because it is her " grandvan " ? Can she live in my house

because it is her " grandhouse " ? Is my job and income her " grandjob " ? I know

this sounds ridiculous, but I am pointing out how ridiculous it sounds to me

when she calls my children " HER " anything. I crawled my way into sanity from

her life, (my brother never did and so has no " grandkids " for her). How can she

insist she has any rights to children that I have? It makes about as much sense

to me as my analogies about her calling my possessions her grandvan, grandhouse,

grandjob. Anyone feel this way?

>

[Guest guest]

OMG, that's hilarious (if it wasn't kind of sad too), she went ahead and

redecorated rooms of your house?? Wow. Well, I hope she's a nada with great

taste and a high budget, anyways!! That's really incredible though. I guess

the word " boundaries " is not in her vocab. My mother scoffs when she says the

word " boundaries " , like she is making fun of how ridiculous that offspring could

think they have a separate identity. She thinks I'm the crazy one!

> >

> > Okay, this is really for those of you who are NC or LC with nada. I am

being facitious here, obviously, but if nada insists that she has rights to

access " HER granchildren " , my question is where is the ownership here? Does

everything that I have automatically become her grand-whatever? Does that mean

she has a right to drive my van because it is her " grandvan " ? Can she live in

my house because it is her " grandhouse " ? Is my job and income her " grandjob " ?

I know this sounds ridiculous, but I am pointing out how ridiculous it sounds to

me when she calls my children " HER " anything. I crawled my way into sanity from

her life, (my brother never did and so has no " grandkids " for her). How can she

insist she has any rights to children that I have? It makes about as much sense

to me as my analogies about her calling my possessions her grandvan, grandhouse,

grandjob. Anyone feel this way?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

OMG!!! This thread ROCKS!!! I have not laughed this hard in awhile. My nada even

tried to sue me for grandparents rights to HER grandchildren. She certainly did

feel that OUR income was her grandmoney and my day was her grandtime. Here's a

weird boundary issue to think about...we lived in the main part of the house and

nada had an apartment attatched on the east side. There was a door from her

kitchen into our kitchen. Nada would open or shut the door depending on HER

needs. If she needed space, or quiet, or just wanted to be left alone she shut

the door but WE were not allowed to shut the door EVER. This meant nada "

invaded " our family dinners everynight usu to bitch at us or make demands (she

called it " planning " ) for the next day. She " owned " the door and access to us

all of the time.

>

> Okay, this is really for those of you who are NC or LC with nada. I am being

facitious here, obviously, but if nada insists that she has rights to access

" HER granchildren " , my question is where is the ownership here? Does everything

that I have automatically become her grand-whatever? Does that mean she has a

right to drive my van because it is her " grandvan " ? Can she live in my house

because it is her " grandhouse " ? Is my job and income her " grandjob " ? I know

this sounds ridiculous, but I am pointing out how ridiculous it sounds to me

when she calls my children " HER " anything. I crawled my way into sanity from

her life, (my brother never did and so has no " grandkids " for her). How can she

insist she has any rights to children that I have? It makes about as much sense

to me as my analogies about her calling my possessions her grandvan, grandhouse,

grandjob. Anyone feel this way?

>

[Guest guest]

OMG!!! This thread ROCKS!!! I have not laughed this hard in awhile. My nada even

tried to sue me for grandparents rights to HER grandchildren. She certainly did

feel that OUR income was her grandmoney and my day was her grandtime. Here's a

weird boundary issue to think about...we lived in the main part of the house and

nada had an apartment attatched on the east side. There was a door from her

kitchen into our kitchen. Nada would open or shut the door depending on HER

needs. If she needed space, or quiet, or just wanted to be left alone she shut

the door but WE were not allowed to shut the door EVER. This meant nada "

invaded " our family dinners everynight usu to bitch at us or make demands (she

called it " planning " ) for the next day. She " owned " the door and access to us

all of the time.

>

> Okay, this is really for those of you who are NC or LC with nada. I am being

facitious here, obviously, but if nada insists that she has rights to access

" HER granchildren " , my question is where is the ownership here? Does everything

that I have automatically become her grand-whatever? Does that mean she has a

right to drive my van because it is her " grandvan " ? Can she live in my house

because it is her " grandhouse " ? Is my job and income her " grandjob " ? I know

this sounds ridiculous, but I am pointing out how ridiculous it sounds to me

when she calls my children " HER " anything. I crawled my way into sanity from

her life, (my brother never did and so has no " grandkids " for her). How can she

insist she has any rights to children that I have? It makes about as much sense

to me as my analogies about her calling my possessions her grandvan, grandhouse,

grandjob. Anyone feel this way?

>

[Guest guest]

Oh annie. I hear ya sister! I tried to explain to nada that just the way she

needed alone time to herself, dh and I needed uninterrupted time together as a

couple or with the kids for " family time " . She could recognize her needs and

demand that we meet them, but she honestly and truly could not see how we found

her entering our home whenever she wanted as intrusive. The sh!t really hit the

fan when I unwittingly tried to explain we needed quiet family time at dinner.

The was a HUGE offense because I implied that she was not part of the family.

Holy crap. The tantrums that followed were of historical proportion!

> >

> > I can't believe she owns the door! That alone pretty much sums up the

whole boundaries issue doesn't it? You gotta live it to believe it, right?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

This makes me think of the time my therapist asked, sincerely, " How do you

FUNCTION?!? "

> YOu're right, I think you have to have lived with this kind of behavior to

really get it when other people describe it. Holy freaking cow, its amazing

that I'm not in a rubber room somewhere drooling on my straight-jacket.

[Guest guest]

This makes me think of the time my therapist asked, sincerely, " How do you

FUNCTION?!? "

> YOu're right, I think you have to have lived with this kind of behavior to

really get it when other people describe it. Holy freaking cow, its amazing

that I'm not in a rubber room somewhere drooling on my straight-jacket.