Workplace bullies

[Guest guest]

I seem to have a flashing sign on my forehead that says " VERBALLY ABUSE ME

PLEASE "

I started a new job today and was cussed out severely by a woman whom wouldn't

even allow me to finish my sentence of: " Hello, I wanted to introduce myself, my

name is.... " and WHAMMMO, I was interrupted by her tyrade of anger and abuse.

I am not even exaggerating at all. Does this seem to happen to anybody else???

I am trying to overcome my emotions over this incident but I have to admit, I am

very low, upset, and crying a little bit. The backstory..... It was my first day

today. This woman ignored me utterly in the morning, seeming very aloof, I gave

her the benefit of the doubt and chalked it up to her being busy. Her small dog,

who is still a puppy, pokes around the workplace throughout the day. I left for

a few hours (it's an on-call basis) and left behind a christmas stocking with

some chocolate inside of it in the small room where I work, nearby where this

wretched woman and her dog are located.

Well, the dog got into the chocolate and apparently Hellfire is now a dog

murdering monster who is stupid and " uncool " I returned this afternoon and this

woman was standing right there when I walked in. I tried to introduce myself and

got ambushed with an awful tyrade about the incident and how " uncool " it is that

I would be so heartless as to leave chocolate in my workspace, and how her dog

almost died and " Look at him!!! Just look at him now!! " I apologized profusely,

well I tried to, but she wouldn't let up and looked at me as though I was a

piece of crap on the bottom of her shoe, anyway, I had to walk away finally

because it was just too awful for words. I still don't know her name. She was

seriously agressive and would not even allow me to get a word in, it was really

over-the-top.

Anyway i'm just feeling so low and down about it, this seems to be a recurring

theme in my life. Workplace bullies (particularly women) seem to LOVE to target

me in particular. I am a fairly confident person normally, although sometimes

this stuff really gets to me. Almost every workplace I have ever been has at

least one who singles me out, and I really wish I could say this is an

exaggeration but it's not. I started this job, since I was forced to quit the

last one due to guess what........ a female workplace bully! (An entire team of

8 people also quit over a span of a few months because of this with. I am still

waiting to hear if a house has dropped on her yet).

Oh well, I have to work there only two days a week and really, I can leave

anytime as I don't really need the job at all. I have been told this woman is

horrid, and that it's not me, blah blah. It's still hard. My friend Deb

explained to me, (who used to work there), that people are threatened by me. I

find this hard to understand because I am very friendly, I approach people,

shake their hand, engage them in conversation, etc. Most people respond well and

I make friends easily but then there's the odd one.......... I have been told

women are threatened by my looks, throughout my life since the age of 13 or so.

(I am no Crawford, but I don't seem to have a problem attracting guys

either) I guess I just can't relate to their utter lack of confidence.. I just

don't get it, at 32 I am hoping maybe it will stop. Perhaps when I start sagging

a little..... LOL

Some of these women over the years, I would describe as very beautiful, much

more so than myself. Others I would describe as very unattractive physically in

a conventional sort of way. Personality wise, the common thread is their crappy

attitude. Thoughts anyone????

Argh. HF is off to have a glass of wine now............

[Guest guest]

Oh and I forgot to mention.... I had to cancel my dinner with nada tonight

because I can't deal with her when I am emotionally vulnerable. I was supposed

to meet with her tonight to exchange Christmas gifts but instead called to and

told her I was sick. I feel like such a sheepish loser today.

[Guest guest]

HF, my DD hates working with women. She is pretty, smart, and confident and

accepting of different personalities, getting along with anybody. Yet she runs

into this so often. She says women in groups often turn into raging beyotches,

lol. She much prefers working with men, but has encountered some male bullies

too.

A lot of people ARE threatened by those who are confident, but that is no

excuse. And some, like this woman, are just plain obnoxious.

In my not so humble opinion (ha ha) I don't think her tirade had anything to do

with your KO standing. And if it wouldn't be cruel to the pooch I would be

sorely to make a batch of laxative laced treats so she would spend an evening

cleaning up after him.... Ooh. That's too mean to even contemplate. :-0 (I

wouldn't ever do something like this, too kindhearted)

Em

Sent from my blueberry.

On Dec 21, 2010, at 7:33 PM, " Hellfireblonde "

wrote:

> Oh and I forgot to mention.... I had to cancel my dinner with nada tonight

because I can't deal with her when I am emotionally vulnerable. I was supposed

to meet with her tonight to exchange Christmas gifts but instead called to and

told her I was sick. I feel like such a sheepish loser today.

>

>

[Guest guest]

HF, my DD hates working with women. She is pretty, smart, and confident and

accepting of different personalities, getting along with anybody. Yet she runs

into this so often. She says women in groups often turn into raging beyotches,

lol. She much prefers working with men, but has encountered some male bullies

too.

A lot of people ARE threatened by those who are confident, but that is no

excuse. And some, like this woman, are just plain obnoxious.

In my not so humble opinion (ha ha) I don't think her tirade had anything to do

with your KO standing. And if it wouldn't be cruel to the pooch I would be

sorely to make a batch of laxative laced treats so she would spend an evening

cleaning up after him.... Ooh. That's too mean to even contemplate. :-0 (I

wouldn't ever do something like this, too kindhearted)

Em

Sent from my blueberry.

On Dec 21, 2010, at 7:33 PM, " Hellfireblonde "

wrote:

> Oh and I forgot to mention.... I had to cancel my dinner with nada tonight

because I can't deal with her when I am emotionally vulnerable. I was supposed

to meet with her tonight to exchange Christmas gifts but instead called to and

told her I was sick. I feel like such a sheepish loser today.

>

>

[Guest guest]

HF, my DD hates working with women. She is pretty, smart, and confident and

accepting of different personalities, getting along with anybody. Yet she runs

into this so often. She says women in groups often turn into raging beyotches,

lol. She much prefers working with men, but has encountered some male bullies

too.

A lot of people ARE threatened by those who are confident, but that is no

excuse. And some, like this woman, are just plain obnoxious.

In my not so humble opinion (ha ha) I don't think her tirade had anything to do

with your KO standing. And if it wouldn't be cruel to the pooch I would be

sorely to make a batch of laxative laced treats so she would spend an evening

cleaning up after him.... Ooh. That's too mean to even contemplate. :-0 (I

wouldn't ever do something like this, too kindhearted)

Em

Sent from my blueberry.

On Dec 21, 2010, at 7:33 PM, " Hellfireblonde "

wrote:

> Oh and I forgot to mention.... I had to cancel my dinner with nada tonight

because I can't deal with her when I am emotionally vulnerable. I was supposed

to meet with her tonight to exchange Christmas gifts but instead called to and

told her I was sick. I feel like such a sheepish loser today.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Lets make laxative lollies for the " lady " herself!!! I'm sorry!

>

>

> HF, my DD hates working with women. She is pretty, smart, and confident and

> accepting of different personalities, getting along with anybody. Yet she

> runs into this so often. She says women in groups often turn into raging

> beyotches, lol. She much prefers working with men, but has encountered some

> male bullies too.

> A lot of people ARE threatened by those who are confident, but that is no

> excuse. And some, like this woman, are just plain obnoxious.

> In my not so humble opinion (ha ha) I don't think her tirade had anything

> to do with your KO standing. And if it wouldn't be cruel to the pooch I

> would be sorely to make a batch of laxative laced treats so she would spend

> an evening cleaning up after him.... Ooh. That's too mean to even

> contemplate. :-0 (I wouldn't ever do something like this, too kindhearted)

>

> Em

>

> Sent from my blueberry.

>

> On Dec 21, 2010, at 7:33 PM, " Hellfireblonde "

<hellfireblonde99@...<hellfireblonde99%40yahoo.com>>

> wrote:

>

> > Oh and I forgot to mention.... I had to cancel my dinner with nada

> tonight because I can't deal with her when I am emotionally vulnerable. I

> was supposed to meet with her tonight to exchange Christmas gifts but

> instead called to and told her I was sick. I feel like such a sheepish loser

> today.

> >

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Lets make laxative lollies for the " lady " herself!!! I'm sorry!

>

>

> HF, my DD hates working with women. She is pretty, smart, and confident and

> accepting of different personalities, getting along with anybody. Yet she

> runs into this so often. She says women in groups often turn into raging

> beyotches, lol. She much prefers working with men, but has encountered some

> male bullies too.

> A lot of people ARE threatened by those who are confident, but that is no

> excuse. And some, like this woman, are just plain obnoxious.

> In my not so humble opinion (ha ha) I don't think her tirade had anything

> to do with your KO standing. And if it wouldn't be cruel to the pooch I

> would be sorely to make a batch of laxative laced treats so she would spend

> an evening cleaning up after him.... Ooh. That's too mean to even

> contemplate. :-0 (I wouldn't ever do something like this, too kindhearted)

>

> Em

>

> Sent from my blueberry.

>

> On Dec 21, 2010, at 7:33 PM, " Hellfireblonde "

<hellfireblonde99@...<hellfireblonde99%40yahoo.com>>

> wrote:

>

> > Oh and I forgot to mention.... I had to cancel my dinner with nada

> tonight because I can't deal with her when I am emotionally vulnerable. I

> was supposed to meet with her tonight to exchange Christmas gifts but

> instead called to and told her I was sick. I feel like such a sheepish loser

> today.

> >

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Lets make laxative lollies for the " lady " herself!!! I'm sorry!

>

>

> HF, my DD hates working with women. She is pretty, smart, and confident and

> accepting of different personalities, getting along with anybody. Yet she

> runs into this so often. She says women in groups often turn into raging

> beyotches, lol. She much prefers working with men, but has encountered some

> male bullies too.

> A lot of people ARE threatened by those who are confident, but that is no

> excuse. And some, like this woman, are just plain obnoxious.

> In my not so humble opinion (ha ha) I don't think her tirade had anything

> to do with your KO standing. And if it wouldn't be cruel to the pooch I

> would be sorely to make a batch of laxative laced treats so she would spend

> an evening cleaning up after him.... Ooh. That's too mean to even

> contemplate. :-0 (I wouldn't ever do something like this, too kindhearted)

>

> Em

>

> Sent from my blueberry.

>

> On Dec 21, 2010, at 7:33 PM, " Hellfireblonde "

<hellfireblonde99@...<hellfireblonde99%40yahoo.com>>

> wrote:

>

> > Oh and I forgot to mention.... I had to cancel my dinner with nada

> tonight because I can't deal with her when I am emotionally vulnerable. I

> was supposed to meet with her tonight to exchange Christmas gifts but

> instead called to and told her I was sick. I feel like such a sheepish loser

> today.

> >

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

It is a relief to think this episode wasn't due to my KO status. Since she

doesn't even know my name!!! ......

I couldn't deliberately 'poop-ify' a poochie, as I love animals, but her on the

other hands... hmmm? Just kidding.

After a day to think on it, I have decided my strategy is this: If she ever

speaks to me or approaches me in any way, I will immediately tell her that I do

not appreciate the way she spoke to me and in the future if it happens again I

will tell her to f% & k off, straight up.

I know this is wrong, and I realize it's immature and rediculous. I am seriously

at the point where I just don't care about it anymore. The blessing is that I

really don't need this job, it's extremely casual, unprofessional, etc. I could

walk right out and care less. I will let the chips fall where they may.

It's unlikely this stuck up beatch will even give me the time of day however.

She's aloof to the extreme.

[Guest guest]

It is a relief to think this episode wasn't due to my KO status. Since she

doesn't even know my name!!! ......

I couldn't deliberately 'poop-ify' a poochie, as I love animals, but her on the

other hands... hmmm? Just kidding.

After a day to think on it, I have decided my strategy is this: If she ever

speaks to me or approaches me in any way, I will immediately tell her that I do

not appreciate the way she spoke to me and in the future if it happens again I

will tell her to f% & k off, straight up.

I know this is wrong, and I realize it's immature and rediculous. I am seriously

at the point where I just don't care about it anymore. The blessing is that I

really don't need this job, it's extremely casual, unprofessional, etc. I could

walk right out and care less. I will let the chips fall where they may.

It's unlikely this stuck up beatch will even give me the time of day however.

She's aloof to the extreme.

[Guest guest]

Good for you!

Besides her yelling at you, I don't believe she apologized to you or offered to

pay for *your property that her dog ruined.* Actually, her dog probably did

wind up with diarrhea if it ate a lot of your chocolate, I would think. She's

not a very responsible pet owner to let her dog run loose in an office setting

and get into other people's property, sez I.

Anyway, good for you in advance for planning to be assertive next time.

-Annie

>

> It is a relief to think this episode wasn't due to my KO status. Since she

doesn't even know my name!!! ......

>

> I couldn't deliberately 'poop-ify' a poochie, as I love animals, but her on

the other hands... hmmm? Just kidding.

>

> After a day to think on it, I have decided my strategy is this: If she ever

speaks to me or approaches me in any way, I will immediately tell her that I do

not appreciate the way she spoke to me and in the future if it happens again I

will tell her to f% & k off, straight up.

>

> I know this is wrong, and I realize it's immature and rediculous. I am

seriously at the point where I just don't care about it anymore. The blessing is

that I really don't need this job, it's extremely casual, unprofessional, etc. I

could walk right out and care less. I will let the chips fall where they may.

>

> It's unlikely this stuck up beatch will even give me the time of day however.

She's aloof to the extreme.

>

[Guest guest]

Is this woman some special, highly honored woman that she's allowed to do this

to people? Has no one ever reported her behavior to human resources? We all get

a bit edgy or cranky some days but this woman's tirade is over the top.

I used to work in a place where the boss was " passionate " about the work and if

others didn't do things exactly his way, you got your rear torn to shreds. I

mean " F " bombs and everything. But he's been there 20 years and allowed to act

like this because he also brings in a lot of money for the place. He is good at

what he does but his behavior has caused many people to leave, I've seen him

insult visitors and I've gone home in tears many times. I finally had to quit

because no matter how hard I tried, it was never good enough. Life is too short

to put up with that.

If this woman continues to behave like this, I would report her and seriously

consider doing a different job. This is way more than a crab that won't be

friends.

>

> I seem to have a flashing sign on my forehead that says " VERBALLY ABUSE ME

PLEASE "

>

> I started a new job today and was cussed out severely by a woman whom wouldn't

even allow me to finish my sentence of: " Hello, I wanted to introduce myself, my

name is.... " and WHAMMMO, I was interrupted by her tyrade of anger and abuse.

I am not even exaggerating at all. Does this seem to happen to anybody else???

>

> I am trying to overcome my emotions over this incident but I have to admit, I

am very low, upset, and crying a little bit. The backstory..... It was my first

day today. This woman ignored me utterly in the morning, seeming very aloof, I

gave her the benefit of the doubt and chalked it up to her being busy. Her small

dog, who is still a puppy, pokes around the workplace throughout the day. I

left for a few hours (it's an on-call basis) and left behind a christmas

stocking with some chocolate inside of it in the small room where I work, nearby

where this wretched woman and her dog are located.

>

> Well, the dog got into the chocolate and apparently Hellfire is now a dog

murdering monster who is stupid and " uncool " I returned this afternoon and this

woman was standing right there when I walked in. I tried to introduce myself and

got ambushed with an awful tyrade about the incident and how " uncool " it is that

I would be so heartless as to leave chocolate in my workspace, and how her dog

almost died and " Look at him!!! Just look at him now!! " I apologized profusely,

well I tried to, but she wouldn't let up and looked at me as though I was a

piece of crap on the bottom of her shoe, anyway, I had to walk away finally

because it was just too awful for words. I still don't know her name. She was

seriously agressive and would not even allow me to get a word in, it was really

over-the-top.

>

> Anyway i'm just feeling so low and down about it, this seems to be a recurring

theme in my life. Workplace bullies (particularly women) seem to LOVE to target

me in particular. I am a fairly confident person normally, although sometimes

this stuff really gets to me. Almost every workplace I have ever been has at

least one who singles me out, and I really wish I could say this is an

exaggeration but it's not. I started this job, since I was forced to quit the

last one due to guess what........ a female workplace bully! (An entire team of

8 people also quit over a span of a few months because of this with. I am still

waiting to hear if a house has dropped on her yet).

>

> Oh well, I have to work there only two days a week and really, I can leave

anytime as I don't really need the job at all. I have been told this woman is

horrid, and that it's not me, blah blah. It's still hard. My friend Deb

explained to me, (who used to work there), that people are threatened by me. I

find this hard to understand because I am very friendly, I approach people,

shake their hand, engage them in conversation, etc. Most people respond well and

I make friends easily but then there's the odd one.......... I have been told

women are threatened by my looks, throughout my life since the age of 13 or so.

(I am no Crawford, but I don't seem to have a problem attracting guys

either) I guess I just can't relate to their utter lack of confidence.. I just

don't get it, at 32 I am hoping maybe it will stop. Perhaps when I start sagging

a little..... LOL

>

> Some of these women over the years, I would describe as very beautiful, much

more so than myself. Others I would describe as very unattractive physically in

a conventional sort of way. Personality wise, the common thread is their crappy

attitude. Thoughts anyone????

>

> Argh. HF is off to have a glass of wine now............

>

[Guest guest]

HFB,I think Annie has a good point: how effing dare she go off on you when after

all it was *your* Christmas stocking her dog tore in to???? I'm a dog owner

myself and I can't imagine being anything but apologetic (and inwardly

mortified!) if my dog got a hold of someone else's whatever--besides which,when

I am out in public with my dog I keep a close watch on her since she's *my*

responsibility.This woman sounds like a real misery/eff up and I feel sorry for

her dog,actually.

It's not at all childish or ridiculous to let this misery know that you

aren't going to tolerate her crap.You tried being nice to her and obviously she

didn't deserve your consideration since she obviously had no respect for it,so

tell her to go to hell.It sounds,though,like she is going to be miserable no

matter what you do.You might as well be assertive and if she doesn't like it she

can stuff it.It's just loathesome when somebody like that can't even appreciate

an apology,although really you weren't the one in the wrong.You have class,she

has none.

I've also had a really hard time taking other women's bitchiness since I

was young.I know what you mean about the attractiveness thing making you a

target at times.That has happened to me.I find it really sickening.I've had

other women decide to just hate me on sight.It's so petty.I walk my dog almost

every evening on the same boulevard and there's this guy with his dog we always

see,so we've gotten into the habit of saying a brief hello and letting the dogs

have a very brief sniff.One night he was walking his dog with his wife and we

both automatically stopped to say hello/let the dogs have a sniff.A couple of

nights later there she was walking the dog on her own and as soon as she saw

us,*she walked the dog into the street to avoid us* very haughtily ignoring us

like we were a pair of lepers as my dog pulled on her leash to say hello to her

doggy friend and her doggy friend tried to pull back onto the sidewalk as the

wife went stomp stomp stomp on past us.Walking in the frigging street!!!! I

mean,come on.How ridiculously unnecessary was that--and speaking of

ridiculous,their getting their backs up attitude is what is ridiculous.In cases

like that,it isn't because we're KOs,it's because the other woman has issues.It

took me a while to learn not to own feeling like a jerk on their behalf.It's

almost a back handed compliment when other women behave like this,like you're

such an awesome threat...and ironically,I am insecure about my looks myself!

I'm sorry you're having this problem again at this new job.My current

working theory is that no matter where you go,there will be dysfunctional

people--they are everywhere unfortunately.You didn't do anything wrong--what

happened there in that work situation seems to me the equivalent of me simply

walking down the boulevard with my dog.I was going to say hello nicely to the

wife too and she didn't even give me a chance.Her pettiness still hit me in the

gut for a moment because it was just so GROSS!!!! I had to comment to my dog:

Can you believe her? She went out into the street! And all we wanted to do was

be friendly!

> >

> > It is a relief to think this episode wasn't due to my KO status. Since she

doesn't even know my name!!! ......

> >

> > I couldn't deliberately 'poop-ify' a poochie, as I love animals, but her on

the other hands... hmmm? Just kidding.

> >

> > After a day to think on it, I have decided my strategy is this: If she ever

speaks to me or approaches me in any way, I will immediately tell her that I do

not appreciate the way she spoke to me and in the future if it happens again I

will tell her to f% & k off, straight up.

> >

> > I know this is wrong, and I realize it's immature and rediculous. I am

seriously at the point where I just don't care about it anymore. The blessing is

that I really don't need this job, it's extremely casual, unprofessional, etc. I

could walk right out and care less. I will let the chips fall where they may.

> >

> > It's unlikely this stuck up beatch will even give me the time of day

however. She's aloof to the extreme.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

HFB,I think Annie has a good point: how effing dare she go off on you when after

all it was *your* Christmas stocking her dog tore in to???? I'm a dog owner

myself and I can't imagine being anything but apologetic (and inwardly

mortified!) if my dog got a hold of someone else's whatever--besides which,when

I am out in public with my dog I keep a close watch on her since she's *my*

responsibility.This woman sounds like a real misery/eff up and I feel sorry for

her dog,actually.

It's not at all childish or ridiculous to let this misery know that you

aren't going to tolerate her crap.You tried being nice to her and obviously she

didn't deserve your consideration since she obviously had no respect for it,so

tell her to go to hell.It sounds,though,like she is going to be miserable no

matter what you do.You might as well be assertive and if she doesn't like it she

can stuff it.It's just loathesome when somebody like that can't even appreciate

an apology,although really you weren't the one in the wrong.You have class,she

has none.

I've also had a really hard time taking other women's bitchiness since I

was young.I know what you mean about the attractiveness thing making you a

target at times.That has happened to me.I find it really sickening.I've had

other women decide to just hate me on sight.It's so petty.I walk my dog almost

every evening on the same boulevard and there's this guy with his dog we always

see,so we've gotten into the habit of saying a brief hello and letting the dogs

have a very brief sniff.One night he was walking his dog with his wife and we

both automatically stopped to say hello/let the dogs have a sniff.A couple of

nights later there she was walking the dog on her own and as soon as she saw

us,*she walked the dog into the street to avoid us* very haughtily ignoring us

like we were a pair of lepers as my dog pulled on her leash to say hello to her

doggy friend and her doggy friend tried to pull back onto the sidewalk as the

wife went stomp stomp stomp on past us.Walking in the frigging street!!!! I

mean,come on.How ridiculously unnecessary was that--and speaking of

ridiculous,their getting their backs up attitude is what is ridiculous.In cases

like that,it isn't because we're KOs,it's because the other woman has issues.It

took me a while to learn not to own feeling like a jerk on their behalf.It's

almost a back handed compliment when other women behave like this,like you're

such an awesome threat...and ironically,I am insecure about my looks myself!

I'm sorry you're having this problem again at this new job.My current

working theory is that no matter where you go,there will be dysfunctional

people--they are everywhere unfortunately.You didn't do anything wrong--what

happened there in that work situation seems to me the equivalent of me simply

walking down the boulevard with my dog.I was going to say hello nicely to the

wife too and she didn't even give me a chance.Her pettiness still hit me in the

gut for a moment because it was just so GROSS!!!! I had to comment to my dog:

Can you believe her? She went out into the street! And all we wanted to do was

be friendly!

> >

> > It is a relief to think this episode wasn't due to my KO status. Since she

doesn't even know my name!!! ......

> >

> > I couldn't deliberately 'poop-ify' a poochie, as I love animals, but her on

the other hands... hmmm? Just kidding.

> >

> > After a day to think on it, I have decided my strategy is this: If she ever

speaks to me or approaches me in any way, I will immediately tell her that I do

not appreciate the way she spoke to me and in the future if it happens again I

will tell her to f% & k off, straight up.

> >

> > I know this is wrong, and I realize it's immature and rediculous. I am

seriously at the point where I just don't care about it anymore. The blessing is

that I really don't need this job, it's extremely casual, unprofessional, etc. I

could walk right out and care less. I will let the chips fall where they may.

> >

> > It's unlikely this stuck up beatch will even give me the time of day

however. She's aloof to the extreme.

> >

>