BPD's and pathological lying

[Guest guest]

You're right about the lying. And when they get caught in their lying, they play

the victim to get out of it. I really think this is a key trait in BPDs. I also

dont believe they don't know they're lying. I think they're very aware, but

like to slant things their direction so weasel their way out of things. My

mother in law is BPD (thankfully she lives thousands of miles away so we dont

deal with her often) and she is a pathological liar. She invents crap, makes up

stories about her childhood, lies about the price of something she bought you,

the weather, exaggerates everything == the list is truly endless.

Re: Apparently, I " need help "

I d like to share something for you to consider.

I haven t read your previous posts about your mom s blow ups, so I m

coming in at the middle. However, I m assuming that she is a nada, that

is a BP.

That being the case, you should consider this: BP s lie. They

gaslight, re invent the past, hear conversations as they want them to

be, not as they are.

All these things you have heard of Nada s T, telling her she is a

victim, that her family is sicker than she is so she should ignore them,

pitting her against them, again, I m assuming that you have heard these

things only from nada, or from someone to whom nada has spoken. I

further assume that you have NOT heard any of them directly from the T.

My own nada told me at various times that her T said she didn t need to

be in therapy, her psychiatrist had another woman in the office with her

while she talked, and the woman told her she was a very wise woman, who

helped other people more than they helped her, that it was right for

her to hate her mother. I could go on with this list, but the main

point about it is that not One of these things were true.

I DID in fact meet with her T , with her, and alone, when she refused to

show up for a family therapy session. Nada very frequently told me, and

others, things her T had said that NO professional counselor would ever

say, and things that her Dr said that no Dr would ever tell a patient.

The bottom line is that she was gaslighting, and telling the story that

lined up with what she wanted to do and to believe.

I can t tell you for certain that is what your nada is doing, but just

the brief story you shared makes me highly suspicious that this is the

case. They love to say things that deflect anger or hurt feelings away

from them, because , of course, nothing is ever their fault.

My rule of thumb with a BP, is that I never, ever believe what they say

unless it is confirmed and verified by another person who is NOT a

flying monkey!

And just to help you out,

CSAT is Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist

NCC is National Certified Counselor

Just sharing some knowledge and experience with you, not trying to tell

you what to do, by any means. You have a BP in your life, it is a

tough thing.

Good luck to you.

Doug

[Guest guest]

Sounds like my mother..:-)

She lies about everything and exaggerates evertyhing. Whenever she has

appointment with any kind of doctor she is capable to tell me few different

story about the same event. That depend of what she would like to

accomplish. If she want me to be worried she would say to me that the doctor

said to her she is very ill , the operation o some other treatment is

necessary if I tell her that I'll make arrangement for her to get to the

hospital she would said the very next moment, that the doctor said to her

that there is no problem at all. Sometimes her stories are completely weird

and I can see she is making up but sometimes I can not tell and I have to

ask the doctor about the facts. IN most cases his words are completely

different than doctor's....

It doesn't help if I confront her with facts - she would invented new story

and if that doesn't help she would say: " I'm old and have problems with

memory , may be I said (did) this, but I can't remember or I didn't know

better " And the next minute she would lie again.

I even don't ask myself anymore if her lies are conscious or not. I figure

out she is living in other reality where she is " victim " who is entitled to

do anything to survive and because she is uncapable of putting herself in

others shoes she is not capable to see how much damage she does or did to

others and even to herself.

The only thing I can do is to be aware of that and try not to fall into her

lies. And to stick to my reality.

2010/12/12

>

>

> You're right about the lying. And when they get caught in their lying, they

> play the victim to get out of it. I really think this is a key trait in

> BPDs. I also dont believe they don't know they're lying. I think they're

> very aware, but like to slant things their direction so weasel their way out

> of things. My mother in law is BPD (thankfully she lives thousands of miles

> away so we dont deal with her often) and she is a pathological liar. She

> invents crap, makes up stories about her childhood, lies about the price of

> something she bought you, the weather, exaggerates everything == the list is

> truly endless.

>

> Re: Apparently, I " need help "

>

> I d like to share something for you to consider.

>

> I haven t read your previous posts about your mom s blow ups, so I m

> coming in at the middle. However, I m assuming that she is a nada, that

> is a BP.

>

> That being the case, you should consider this: BP s lie. They

> gaslight, re invent the past, hear conversations as they want them to

> be, not as they are.

>

> All these things you have heard of Nada s T, telling her she is a

> victim, that her family is sicker than she is so she should ignore them,

> pitting her against them, again, I m assuming that you have heard these

> things only from nada, or from someone to whom nada has spoken. I

> further assume that you have NOT heard any of them directly from the T.

>

> My own nada told me at various times that her T said she didn t need to

> be in therapy, her psychiatrist had another woman in the office with her

> while she talked, and the woman told her she was a very wise woman, who

> helped other people more than they helped her, that it was right for

> her to hate her mother. I could go on with this list, but the main

> point about it is that not One of these things were true.

>

> I DID in fact meet with her T , with her, and alone, when she refused to

> show up for a family therapy session. Nada very frequently told me, and

> others, things her T had said that NO professional counselor would ever

> say, and things that her Dr said that no Dr would ever tell a patient.

> The bottom line is that she was gaslighting, and telling the story that

> lined up with what she wanted to do and to believe.

>

> I can t tell you for certain that is what your nada is doing, but just

> the brief story you shared makes me highly suspicious that this is the

> case. They love to say things that deflect anger or hurt feelings away

> from them, because , of course, nothing is ever their fault.

>

> My rule of thumb with a BP, is that I never, ever believe what they say

> unless it is confirmed and verified by another person who is NOT a

> flying monkey!

>

> And just to help you out,

>

> CSAT is Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist

> NCC is National Certified Counselor

>

> Just sharing some knowledge and experience with you, not trying to tell

> you what to do, by any means. You have a BP in your life, it is a

> tough thing.

>

> Good luck to you.

>

> Doug

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sounds like my mother..:-)

She lies about everything and exaggerates evertyhing. Whenever she has

appointment with any kind of doctor she is capable to tell me few different

story about the same event. That depend of what she would like to

accomplish. If she want me to be worried she would say to me that the doctor

said to her she is very ill , the operation o some other treatment is

necessary if I tell her that I'll make arrangement for her to get to the

hospital she would said the very next moment, that the doctor said to her

that there is no problem at all. Sometimes her stories are completely weird

and I can see she is making up but sometimes I can not tell and I have to

ask the doctor about the facts. IN most cases his words are completely

different than doctor's....

It doesn't help if I confront her with facts - she would invented new story

and if that doesn't help she would say: " I'm old and have problems with

memory , may be I said (did) this, but I can't remember or I didn't know

better " And the next minute she would lie again.

I even don't ask myself anymore if her lies are conscious or not. I figure

out she is living in other reality where she is " victim " who is entitled to

do anything to survive and because she is uncapable of putting herself in

others shoes she is not capable to see how much damage she does or did to

others and even to herself.

The only thing I can do is to be aware of that and try not to fall into her

lies. And to stick to my reality.

2010/12/12

>

>

> You're right about the lying. And when they get caught in their lying, they

> play the victim to get out of it. I really think this is a key trait in

> BPDs. I also dont believe they don't know they're lying. I think they're

> very aware, but like to slant things their direction so weasel their way out

> of things. My mother in law is BPD (thankfully she lives thousands of miles

> away so we dont deal with her often) and she is a pathological liar. She

> invents crap, makes up stories about her childhood, lies about the price of

> something she bought you, the weather, exaggerates everything == the list is

> truly endless.

>

> Re: Apparently, I " need help "

>

> I d like to share something for you to consider.

>

> I haven t read your previous posts about your mom s blow ups, so I m

> coming in at the middle. However, I m assuming that she is a nada, that

> is a BP.

>

> That being the case, you should consider this: BP s lie. They

> gaslight, re invent the past, hear conversations as they want them to

> be, not as they are.

>

> All these things you have heard of Nada s T, telling her she is a

> victim, that her family is sicker than she is so she should ignore them,

> pitting her against them, again, I m assuming that you have heard these

> things only from nada, or from someone to whom nada has spoken. I

> further assume that you have NOT heard any of them directly from the T.

>

> My own nada told me at various times that her T said she didn t need to

> be in therapy, her psychiatrist had another woman in the office with her

> while she talked, and the woman told her she was a very wise woman, who

> helped other people more than they helped her, that it was right for

> her to hate her mother. I could go on with this list, but the main

> point about it is that not One of these things were true.

>

> I DID in fact meet with her T , with her, and alone, when she refused to

> show up for a family therapy session. Nada very frequently told me, and

> others, things her T had said that NO professional counselor would ever

> say, and things that her Dr said that no Dr would ever tell a patient.

> The bottom line is that she was gaslighting, and telling the story that

> lined up with what she wanted to do and to believe.

>

> I can t tell you for certain that is what your nada is doing, but just

> the brief story you shared makes me highly suspicious that this is the

> case. They love to say things that deflect anger or hurt feelings away

> from them, because , of course, nothing is ever their fault.

>

> My rule of thumb with a BP, is that I never, ever believe what they say

> unless it is confirmed and verified by another person who is NOT a

> flying monkey!

>

> And just to help you out,

>

> CSAT is Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist

> NCC is National Certified Counselor

>

> Just sharing some knowledge and experience with you, not trying to tell

> you what to do, by any means. You have a BP in your life, it is a

> tough thing.

>

> Good luck to you.

>

> Doug

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sounds like my mother..:-)

She lies about everything and exaggerates evertyhing. Whenever she has

appointment with any kind of doctor she is capable to tell me few different

story about the same event. That depend of what she would like to

accomplish. If she want me to be worried she would say to me that the doctor

said to her she is very ill , the operation o some other treatment is

necessary if I tell her that I'll make arrangement for her to get to the

hospital she would said the very next moment, that the doctor said to her

that there is no problem at all. Sometimes her stories are completely weird

and I can see she is making up but sometimes I can not tell and I have to

ask the doctor about the facts. IN most cases his words are completely

different than doctor's....

It doesn't help if I confront her with facts - she would invented new story

and if that doesn't help she would say: " I'm old and have problems with

memory , may be I said (did) this, but I can't remember or I didn't know

better " And the next minute she would lie again.

I even don't ask myself anymore if her lies are conscious or not. I figure

out she is living in other reality where she is " victim " who is entitled to

do anything to survive and because she is uncapable of putting herself in

others shoes she is not capable to see how much damage she does or did to

others and even to herself.

The only thing I can do is to be aware of that and try not to fall into her

lies. And to stick to my reality.

2010/12/12

>

>

> You're right about the lying. And when they get caught in their lying, they

> play the victim to get out of it. I really think this is a key trait in

> BPDs. I also dont believe they don't know they're lying. I think they're

> very aware, but like to slant things their direction so weasel their way out

> of things. My mother in law is BPD (thankfully she lives thousands of miles

> away so we dont deal with her often) and she is a pathological liar. She

> invents crap, makes up stories about her childhood, lies about the price of

> something she bought you, the weather, exaggerates everything == the list is

> truly endless.

>

> Re: Apparently, I " need help "

>

> I d like to share something for you to consider.

>

> I haven t read your previous posts about your mom s blow ups, so I m

> coming in at the middle. However, I m assuming that she is a nada, that

> is a BP.

>

> That being the case, you should consider this: BP s lie. They

> gaslight, re invent the past, hear conversations as they want them to

> be, not as they are.

>

> All these things you have heard of Nada s T, telling her she is a

> victim, that her family is sicker than she is so she should ignore them,

> pitting her against them, again, I m assuming that you have heard these

> things only from nada, or from someone to whom nada has spoken. I

> further assume that you have NOT heard any of them directly from the T.

>

> My own nada told me at various times that her T said she didn t need to

> be in therapy, her psychiatrist had another woman in the office with her

> while she talked, and the woman told her she was a very wise woman, who

> helped other people more than they helped her, that it was right for

> her to hate her mother. I could go on with this list, but the main

> point about it is that not One of these things were true.

>

> I DID in fact meet with her T , with her, and alone, when she refused to

> show up for a family therapy session. Nada very frequently told me, and

> others, things her T had said that NO professional counselor would ever

> say, and things that her Dr said that no Dr would ever tell a patient.

> The bottom line is that she was gaslighting, and telling the story that

> lined up with what she wanted to do and to believe.

>

> I can t tell you for certain that is what your nada is doing, but just

> the brief story you shared makes me highly suspicious that this is the

> case. They love to say things that deflect anger or hurt feelings away

> from them, because , of course, nothing is ever their fault.

>

> My rule of thumb with a BP, is that I never, ever believe what they say

> unless it is confirmed and verified by another person who is NOT a

> flying monkey!

>

> And just to help you out,

>

> CSAT is Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist

> NCC is National Certified Counselor

>

> Just sharing some knowledge and experience with you, not trying to tell

> you what to do, by any means. You have a BP in your life, it is a

> tough thing.

>

> Good luck to you.

>

> Doug

>

>

[Guest guest]

This is my mother in law. She makes things up that her grandchildren say --

embellishes to try to make them look funnier or cuter. My kids will stand and

say, " I never said that! " right in front of her. It's sad. Last year for

Christmas she bought me this Barbara Streisand Christmas CD. They are a dime a

dozen. In fact, I already had it. She went through this diatribe about this

conversation she had with some woman about how you can't get them now and

they're selling on ebay for thousands of dollars. Umm, actually you can get it

on ebay for about $5. Unbelievable, but its how she is.

Re: Apparently, I " need help "

I d like to share something for you to consider.

I haven t read your previous posts about your mom s blow ups, so I m

coming in at the middle. However, I m assuming that she is a nada, that

is a BP.

That being the case, you should consider this: BP s lie. They

gaslight, re invent the past, hear conversations as they want them to

be, not as they are.

All these things you have heard of Nada s T, telling her she is a

victim, that her family is sicker than she is so she should ignore them,

pitting her against them, again, I m assuming that you have heard these

things only from nada, or from someone to whom nada has spoken. I

further assume that you have NOT heard any of them directly from the T.

My own nada told me at various times that her T said she didn t need to

be in therapy, her psychiatrist had another woman in the office with her

while she talked, and the woman told her she was a very wise woman, who

helped other people more than they helped her, that it was right for

her to hate her mother. I could go on with this list, but the main

point about it is that not One of these things were true.

I DID in fact meet with her T , with her, and alone, when she refused to

show up for a family therapy session. Nada very frequently told me, and

others, things her T had said that NO professional counselor would ever

say, and things that her Dr said that no Dr would ever tell a patient.

The bottom line is that she was gaslighting, and telling the story that

lined up with what she wanted to do and to believe.

I can t tell you for certain that is what your nada is doing, but just

the brief story you shared makes me highly suspicious that this is the

case. They love to say things that deflect anger or hurt feelings away

from them, because , of course, nothing is ever their fault.

My rule of thumb with a BP, is that I never, ever believe what they say

unless it is confirmed and verified by another person who is NOT a

flying monkey!

And just to help you out,

CSAT is Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist

NCC is National Certified Counselor

Just sharing some knowledge and experience with you, not trying to tell

you what to do, by any means. You have a BP in your life, it is a

tough thing.

Good luck to you.

Doug

[Guest guest]

This is my mother in law. She makes things up that her grandchildren say --

embellishes to try to make them look funnier or cuter. My kids will stand and

say, " I never said that! " right in front of her. It's sad. Last year for

Christmas she bought me this Barbara Streisand Christmas CD. They are a dime a

dozen. In fact, I already had it. She went through this diatribe about this

conversation she had with some woman about how you can't get them now and

they're selling on ebay for thousands of dollars. Umm, actually you can get it

on ebay for about $5. Unbelievable, but its how she is.

Re: Apparently, I " need help "

I d like to share something for you to consider.

I haven t read your previous posts about your mom s blow ups, so I m

coming in at the middle. However, I m assuming that she is a nada, that

is a BP.

That being the case, you should consider this: BP s lie. They

gaslight, re invent the past, hear conversations as they want them to

be, not as they are.

All these things you have heard of Nada s T, telling her she is a

victim, that her family is sicker than she is so she should ignore them,

pitting her against them, again, I m assuming that you have heard these

things only from nada, or from someone to whom nada has spoken. I

further assume that you have NOT heard any of them directly from the T.

My own nada told me at various times that her T said she didn t need to

be in therapy, her psychiatrist had another woman in the office with her

while she talked, and the woman told her she was a very wise woman, who

helped other people more than they helped her, that it was right for

her to hate her mother. I could go on with this list, but the main

point about it is that not One of these things were true.

I DID in fact meet with her T , with her, and alone, when she refused to

show up for a family therapy session. Nada very frequently told me, and

others, things her T had said that NO professional counselor would ever

say, and things that her Dr said that no Dr would ever tell a patient.

The bottom line is that she was gaslighting, and telling the story that

lined up with what she wanted to do and to believe.

I can t tell you for certain that is what your nada is doing, but just

the brief story you shared makes me highly suspicious that this is the

case. They love to say things that deflect anger or hurt feelings away

from them, because , of course, nothing is ever their fault.

My rule of thumb with a BP, is that I never, ever believe what they say

unless it is confirmed and verified by another person who is NOT a

flying monkey!

And just to help you out,

CSAT is Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist

NCC is National Certified Counselor

Just sharing some knowledge and experience with you, not trying to tell

you what to do, by any means. You have a BP in your life, it is a

tough thing.

Good luck to you.

Doug

[Guest guest]

Very true.

Not as a justification, but just by way of understanding them; BP s are

so emotionally fragile in terms of self confidence and belief in their

worth, that they are, truly , pathologically compelled to lie to make

themselves either the victim or the hero.

They believe that any slight fault will cause people to abandon them,

and they are terrified of being abandoned.

Sadly, the very behaviors they exhibit to try and avoid this end up

driving people away, hence the number of folks on here who go to NC or

LC.

As much as it is true that what they do to us is awful , horrible, it is

equally true that it is horrible living inside the emotional mess of

their lives.

May we all heal. And indeed, somehow, somewhere, may THEY.

Doug

>

> You're right about the lying. And when they get caught in their lying,

they play the victim to get out of it. I really think this is a key

trait in BPDs. I also dont believe they don't know they're lying. I

think they're very aware, but like to slant things their direction so

weasel their way out of things. My mother in law is BPD (thankfully she

lives thousands of miles away so we dont deal with her often) and she is

a pathological liar. She invents crap, makes up stories about her

childhood, lies about the price of something she bought you, the

weather, exaggerates everything == the list is truly endless.

>

>

>

>

>

> Re: Apparently, I " need help "

>

>

>

>

> I d like to share something for you to consider.

>

> I haven t read your previous posts about your mom s blow ups, so I m

> coming in at the middle. However, I m assuming that she is a nada,

that

> is a BP.

>

> That being the case, you should consider this: BP s lie. They

> gaslight, re invent the past, hear conversations as they want them to

> be, not as they are.

>

> All these things you have heard of Nada s T, telling her she is a

> victim, that her family is sicker than she is so she should ignore

them,

> pitting her against them, again, I m assuming that you have heard

these

> things only from nada, or from someone to whom nada has spoken. I

> further assume that you have NOT heard any of them directly from the

T.

>

> My own nada told me at various times that her T said she didn t need

to

> be in therapy, her psychiatrist had another woman in the office with

her

> while she talked, and the woman told her she was a very wise woman,

who

> helped other people more than they helped her, that it was right for

> her to hate her mother. I could go on with this list, but the main

> point about it is that not One of these things were true.

>

> I DID in fact meet with her T , with her, and alone, when she refused

to

> show up for a family therapy session. Nada very frequently told me,

and

> others, things her T had said that NO professional counselor would

ever

> say, and things that her Dr said that no Dr would ever tell a patient.

> The bottom line is that she was gaslighting, and telling the story

that

> lined up with what she wanted to do and to believe.

>

> I can t tell you for certain that is what your nada is doing, but just

> the brief story you shared makes me highly suspicious that this is the

> case. They love to say things that deflect anger or hurt feelings away

> from them, because , of course, nothing is ever their fault.

>

> My rule of thumb with a BP, is that I never, ever believe what they

say

> unless it is confirmed and verified by another person who is NOT a

> flying monkey!

>

> And just to help you out,

>

> CSAT is Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist

> NCC is National Certified Counselor

>

> Just sharing some knowledge and experience with you, not trying to

tell

> you what to do, by any means. You have a BP in your life, it is a

> tough thing.

>

> Good luck to you.

>

> Doug

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Doug,

I loved your rule of thumb..... " I never, ever believe what they

> say

> > unless it is confirmed and verified by another person who is NOT a

> > flying monkey! "

You totally " get it " .... I feel that way about my nada for sure!!

> >

> >

> > You're right about the lying. And when they get caught in their lying,

> they play the victim to get out of it. I really think this is a key

> trait in BPDs. I also dont believe they don't know they're lying. I

> think they're very aware, but like to slant things their direction so

> weasel their way out of things. My mother in law is BPD (thankfully she

> lives thousands of miles away so we dont deal with her often) and she is

> a pathological liar. She invents crap, makes up stories about her

> childhood, lies about the price of something she bought you, the

> weather, exaggerates everything == the list is truly endless.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Re: Apparently, I " need help "

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > I d like to share something for you to consider.

> >

> > I haven t read your previous posts about your mom s blow ups, so I m

> > coming in at the middle. However, I m assuming that she is a nada,

> that

> > is a BP.

> >

> > That being the case, you should consider this: BP s lie. They

> > gaslight, re invent the past, hear conversations as they want them to

> > be, not as they are.

> >

> > All these things you have heard of Nada s T, telling her she is a

> > victim, that her family is sicker than she is so she should ignore

> them,

> > pitting her against them, again, I m assuming that you have heard

> these

> > things only from nada, or from someone to whom nada has spoken. I

> > further assume that you have NOT heard any of them directly from the

> T.

> >

> > My own nada told me at various times that her T said she didn t need

> to

> > be in therapy, her psychiatrist had another woman in the office with

> her

> > while she talked, and the woman told her she was a very wise woman,

> who

> > helped other people more than they helped her, that it was right for

> > her to hate her mother. I could go on with this list, but the main

> > point about it is that not One of these things were true.

> >

> > I DID in fact meet with her T , with her, and alone, when she refused

> to

> > show up for a family therapy session. Nada very frequently told me,

> and

> > others, things her T had said that NO professional counselor would

> ever

> > say, and things that her Dr said that no Dr would ever tell a patient.

> > The bottom line is that she was gaslighting, and telling the story

> that

> > lined up with what she wanted to do and to believe.

> >

> > I can t tell you for certain that is what your nada is doing, but just

> > the brief story you shared makes me highly suspicious that this is the

> > case. They love to say things that deflect anger or hurt feelings away

> > from them, because , of course, nothing is ever their fault.

> >

> > My rule of thumb with a BP, is that I never, ever believe what they

> say

> > unless it is confirmed and verified by another person who is NOT a

> > flying monkey!

> >

> > And just to help you out,

> >

> > CSAT is Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist

> > NCC is National Certified Counselor

> >

> > Just sharing some knowledge and experience with you, not trying to

> tell

> > you what to do, by any means. You have a BP in your life, it is a

> > tough thing.

> >

> > Good luck to you.

> >

> > Doug

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Doug,

I loved your rule of thumb..... " I never, ever believe what they

> say

> > unless it is confirmed and verified by another person who is NOT a

> > flying monkey! "

You totally " get it " .... I feel that way about my nada for sure!!

> >

> >

> > You're right about the lying. And when they get caught in their lying,

> they play the victim to get out of it. I really think this is a key

> trait in BPDs. I also dont believe they don't know they're lying. I

> think they're very aware, but like to slant things their direction so

> weasel their way out of things. My mother in law is BPD (thankfully she

> lives thousands of miles away so we dont deal with her often) and she is

> a pathological liar. She invents crap, makes up stories about her

> childhood, lies about the price of something she bought you, the

> weather, exaggerates everything == the list is truly endless.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Re: Apparently, I " need help "

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > I d like to share something for you to consider.

> >

> > I haven t read your previous posts about your mom s blow ups, so I m

> > coming in at the middle. However, I m assuming that she is a nada,

> that

> > is a BP.

> >

> > That being the case, you should consider this: BP s lie. They

> > gaslight, re invent the past, hear conversations as they want them to

> > be, not as they are.

> >

> > All these things you have heard of Nada s T, telling her she is a

> > victim, that her family is sicker than she is so she should ignore

> them,

> > pitting her against them, again, I m assuming that you have heard

> these

> > things only from nada, or from someone to whom nada has spoken. I

> > further assume that you have NOT heard any of them directly from the

> T.

> >

> > My own nada told me at various times that her T said she didn t need

> to

> > be in therapy, her psychiatrist had another woman in the office with

> her

> > while she talked, and the woman told her she was a very wise woman,

> who

> > helped other people more than they helped her, that it was right for

> > her to hate her mother. I could go on with this list, but the main

> > point about it is that not One of these things were true.

> >

> > I DID in fact meet with her T , with her, and alone, when she refused

> to

> > show up for a family therapy session. Nada very frequently told me,

> and

> > others, things her T had said that NO professional counselor would

> ever

> > say, and things that her Dr said that no Dr would ever tell a patient.

> > The bottom line is that she was gaslighting, and telling the story

> that

> > lined up with what she wanted to do and to believe.

> >

> > I can t tell you for certain that is what your nada is doing, but just

> > the brief story you shared makes me highly suspicious that this is the

> > case. They love to say things that deflect anger or hurt feelings away

> > from them, because , of course, nothing is ever their fault.

> >

> > My rule of thumb with a BP, is that I never, ever believe what they

> say

> > unless it is confirmed and verified by another person who is NOT a

> > flying monkey!

> >

> > And just to help you out,

> >

> > CSAT is Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist

> > NCC is National Certified Counselor

> >

> > Just sharing some knowledge and experience with you, not trying to

> tell

> > you what to do, by any means. You have a BP in your life, it is a

> > tough thing.

> >

> > Good luck to you.

> >

> > Doug

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >