Re: Re: Annie: do-over

[Guest guest]

(((((((((((((((((((((Annie...incredibly sincere and understanding hugs to

you.)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

of course, there's nothing you could have done differently.

being an innocent child,,,there's no excuse or reason in the world to harm a

child.

I'm so sorry for your experiences and I wish it were possible for you to have a

do-over.

What you wrote reminds me of a letter I wrote to my mom when I was in my 20's.

She had told me many times about how her mother didn't raise her right, even as

a young child. She felt abandoned when her mom put her in an orphanage when she

herself needed to find a husband, she felt neglected, unwanted, abused, alone,

lonely as a child. So I wrote her a letter to her child self. I started with,

Dear Little Joanie...

I told her how I wished I could have been there to save her from her loneliness,

to hug her, kiss her and tell her that she was loved and cherished. I told her

that she was important and had a voice in this world. I told her I wish I could

have taken her from the orphanage to my loving arms...and that there she would

feel safe. I told her I wish I could have taken her for ice cream and play with

her hair. I told her I wished I could have been her mother because things would

have worked out very differently in her life.

That's the kind of daughter I've been. I had been conditioned to " mother my

mother. " And I was way too good at it. But it made a difference to her to hear

the words to her child-self.

So, Annie, I want to say the same to you. I wish we all could have been there to

rescue little Annie when she needed it most. I wish we could have been there to

let you be a child, innocent and unaware. I wish we could un-do what had been

done so that you could have all the time in the world to become a grown-up in

your own sweet time.

I wish we could have let you focus on Barbie dolls, hula hoops and your bestest

friend. That's what kids need to have to feel good. And of course, the loving

arms of their parents where they can feel and actually be safe.

I wish I could give that all to you and to everyone here. I wish I could give it

to myself too.

The do-over is a fun and dreamy concept. I wish it were possible.

And anyone who has endured a messed-up childhood and lived to tell about it has

my virtual hug and respect.

Amy

Re: do-over

This is hard for me to answer because the worst psychological damage was done to

me before I was 5 years old. By 5 I'd been repeatedly physically and

emotionally and quasi-sexually traumatized into total Stockholm Syndrome

enmeshment with my nada (and enabling dad,) and when she and dad " dumped " me to

move back to their home state when I was 33, it took me another 10 years of

near-isolation and gradually making changes to become as " normal " and socialized

as I am now.

There is nothing that a toddler or preschooler can do to rescue himself or

herself; under the circumstances I grew up in, there is nothing that I could do

differently.

I love Girlscout's idea, though. If it were possible for me to go back in time

and rescue my infant-self, I'd do it in a heartbeat. That would be about the

only " do-over " that would work for me, I think: getting me out of there.

-Annie