Re: Re: Just saw Tangled -- Whoa

[Guest guest]

I haven't heard of this movie, but I tend to be out of the loop... unless

you're talking Harry Potter... perhaps another set of BPD parental units?

(His Aunt & Uncle... and especially if you've read the books)

I haven't heard of this, but now I am going to look into it. Is it on DVD

or in theatres? I'm suspecting DVD... but I'll google it =)

Mia

On Fri, Dec 31, 2010 at 12:19 AM, coalminersdotter <

coalminersdotter@...> wrote:

>

>

> Hey!

>

> I actually found it quite helpful. I was afraid of the " mother " aka evil

> witch in the story, but when Rapunzel overcame the situation, I tasted

> victory along with her. Perhaps because my history is so much like this

> story, not outright physical abuse, but controlling, neglecting,

> mind-twisting; it resonated with me.

>

> I felt the witch and the real parents could be seen in a symbolic way. You

> know, like leaving the pain, anger and misery behind to look for the true,

> pure love that you should have had growing up?

>

> My husband was very supportive, though. He took the kids out at the end and

> gave me a little recovery time. He also said that the movie reminded him

> exactly of me and my mom - even down to the hair and eye colors and the

> singing.

>

> +Coal Miner's Daughter

> p.s. I don't think telling you Rapunzel overcame is a spoiler because you

> know from the fairy tale that she let down her hair and was rescued from the

> tower, right? The movie version is a little different, of course, and

> better, in my opinion!

>

[Guest guest]

Ooh! I did see a preivew for this walking past the TV the other day lol.

Yep, it's in theatres. I'll have to wait for it to come out on DVD because

fiance doesn't want to take me to see it... stinker. I love animated movies

too. Oh well, since money is tight & he rarely puts his foot down, I

suppose I can wait lol.

Mia

> I haven't heard of this movie, but I tend to be out of the loop... unless

> you're talking Harry Potter... perhaps another set of BPD parental units?

> (His Aunt & Uncle... and especially if you've read the books)

>

> I haven't heard of this, but now I am going to look into it. Is it on DVD

> or in theatres? I'm suspecting DVD... but I'll google it =)

>

> Mia

>

[Guest guest]

Ooh! I did see a preivew for this walking past the TV the other day lol.

Yep, it's in theatres. I'll have to wait for it to come out on DVD because

fiance doesn't want to take me to see it... stinker. I love animated movies

too. Oh well, since money is tight & he rarely puts his foot down, I

suppose I can wait lol.

Mia

> I haven't heard of this movie, but I tend to be out of the loop... unless

> you're talking Harry Potter... perhaps another set of BPD parental units?

> (His Aunt & Uncle... and especially if you've read the books)

>

> I haven't heard of this, but now I am going to look into it. Is it on DVD

> or in theatres? I'm suspecting DVD... but I'll google it =)

>

> Mia

>

[Guest guest]

From all the reviews on here, I think I need to see Tangled! I doubt it's in

captioned theater right now, so I probably will have to wait until the DVD.

But still, I'm putting that on my " to-watch " list!

>

>

> Oh God. Just saw Tangled.

>

> Wow, wonder if the producer is a KO.

>

> That fake mom, who was, Not a Mother, nada, was surely a witch/queen and

> total manipulator.

>

> Did anyone catch, that at the height of her manipulation to Hoover

> Rapunzel back in, where she lied to everyone, manipulated everyone, and

> as she was doing her Mother knows best, routine, it was all in the FOG.

>

> Those of you who posted about that were spot-on. The fake mother was

> not overtly evil, she was always " just teasing " when she would insult

> and patronize her daughter, she was always saying how evil the world is,

> how you can't trust anyone but her. Just like my hermit mother.

>

> That is a technique BP s love to use. I have known others who would use

> sarcastic humor to wound, then brush it off because it was just a joke.

> I can cut you to the quick, then laugh and say I was only kidding, and

> you are supposed to suck up your emotions, and just take it, and not

> react.

>

> BULLSHIT!

>

> IMHO, it IS evil. It is cruel, and seeks to excuse cruel, unkind

> behavior by making it " Humor " .

>

> I loved it when Rapunzel got a case of the Badass on her witch/queen

> nada!

>

> And I think we should confront this technique when it is used on us.

> Whether you meant it as a joke or not you DO know it hurts me, otherwise

> you wouldnt try to laugh it off as only kidding. It does hurt, and I

> don t like it, and I want you to stop doing it.

>

> Stuff that, bitch! LOL.

>

> > The characteristic of the fake mother here that was most like my

> mother was how she would tell Rapunzel that she was making her favorite

> food, hazelnut soup! My mother would constantly do this, announcing

> from morning time what goodies she was making for dinner and then keep

> talking about it throughout the day. If we didn't show the proper

> degree of enthusiasm, she would say, " what's wrong? you don't like

> [fill in dish name here]??? "

>

> FOG here, manipulation by guilt and obligation. Now my " recovering KO,

> no more FOG, BULLSHIT sensitive " self would say, you know I used to

> like it, but you ve talked about it so much, I ve lost my taste for it.

>

> It made me sad watching that part of the movie, because I really do feel

> rapunzeled to an extent. I really wasn't allowed out at all unless I was

> with my brother, father or another adult. Ever. When I got to college,

> I went wild with freedom, but I felt that same back and forth war of

> feelings the movie depicted so well, of " mother's going to be furious

> with me " and " ah screw her, I'm free! " I didn't know how to gauge

> people, I was (and still feel at times) socially inept, I was just

> wanting to dance with everything and everyone, I was so dizzy with

> freedom.

>

> An apt metaphor for what we KO s experience when we begin to realize

> we DO exist apart from nada, and choose to heal and grow. I was just

> wanting to dance with everything and everyone, I was so dizzy with

> freedom. I love it! As the song says, When you get the choice to sit

> it out, or dance, I hope you dance!

> >

> > The sad part as well was that Rapunzel got away. Once I was done with

> school, I lived with my parents and it was as though I'd never left

> until I got married. At which point my mother treated my husband like

> the mother in Tangled... " hmmph, we'll see how this marriage thing goes!

> you got yourself into it, now enjoy yourself. "

>

> I felt so sorry for Rapunzel, and for the rest of us, when she was

> alternating between I LOVE THIS FREEDOM! and OH God, I m a TERRIBLE

> daughter!

>

> Yes, Ra, that is what they do to us. But the dirty little secret is, a

> good , loving parent, a healthy adult parent, lets the conflict between

> staying with them and going to experience the freedom be the PARENT s

> internal conflict, not the childs. The parent my cry, and say, boy I

> sure do miss my ( son, daughter), but outwardly, they are the biggest

> cheerleader for them to achieve independence, freedom, and their own

> happiness. They make every effort to make the DIL or SIL feel welcome,

> and loved, and choose to love them like a new son or daughter, knowing

> that as that spouse becomes a part of their child, loving your child

> means loving their mate. Making the DIL welcome in your home, means the

> son feels welcome, and wants to come. A healthy parent wishes them joy,

> not guilt.

>

> A loving , healthy parent has a home in which their adult child is an

> always welcome guest. A BP has one in which the adult child is a

> prisoner.

>

> And to the statement, hmmph, we'll see how this marriage thing goes!

> you got yourself into it, now enjoy yourself. "

>

> My answer is, yes, I did. And I will.

>

> My nada took me aside for one of those horrid MOTHER/son talks the

> afternoon before I got married. She said, among other things, but this

> stays with me most, Whatever you do, just don t let her take my little

> boy away from me.

>

> What a hell of a thing to say? Listen bitch, tomorrow night I m going

> to have sex with that woman, so don t talk to me about being your little

> boy!

>

> Boy the shit they put us through!

>

> Tangled has a lot of good metaphor s for the BP world. I think this is

> one we an add to our Oz repertoire. Anything that helps us dispel the

> FOG, or helps us help our friends to make the journey, is a good thing.

>

> Doug

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

From all the reviews on here, I think I need to see Tangled! I doubt it's in

captioned theater right now, so I probably will have to wait until the DVD.

But still, I'm putting that on my " to-watch " list!

>

>

> Oh God. Just saw Tangled.

>

> Wow, wonder if the producer is a KO.

>

> That fake mom, who was, Not a Mother, nada, was surely a witch/queen and

> total manipulator.

>

> Did anyone catch, that at the height of her manipulation to Hoover

> Rapunzel back in, where she lied to everyone, manipulated everyone, and

> as she was doing her Mother knows best, routine, it was all in the FOG.

>

> Those of you who posted about that were spot-on. The fake mother was

> not overtly evil, she was always " just teasing " when she would insult

> and patronize her daughter, she was always saying how evil the world is,

> how you can't trust anyone but her. Just like my hermit mother.

>

> That is a technique BP s love to use. I have known others who would use

> sarcastic humor to wound, then brush it off because it was just a joke.

> I can cut you to the quick, then laugh and say I was only kidding, and

> you are supposed to suck up your emotions, and just take it, and not

> react.

>

> BULLSHIT!

>

> IMHO, it IS evil. It is cruel, and seeks to excuse cruel, unkind

> behavior by making it " Humor " .

>

> I loved it when Rapunzel got a case of the Badass on her witch/queen

> nada!

>

> And I think we should confront this technique when it is used on us.

> Whether you meant it as a joke or not you DO know it hurts me, otherwise

> you wouldnt try to laugh it off as only kidding. It does hurt, and I

> don t like it, and I want you to stop doing it.

>

> Stuff that, bitch! LOL.

>

> > The characteristic of the fake mother here that was most like my

> mother was how she would tell Rapunzel that she was making her favorite

> food, hazelnut soup! My mother would constantly do this, announcing

> from morning time what goodies she was making for dinner and then keep

> talking about it throughout the day. If we didn't show the proper

> degree of enthusiasm, she would say, " what's wrong? you don't like

> [fill in dish name here]??? "

>

> FOG here, manipulation by guilt and obligation. Now my " recovering KO,

> no more FOG, BULLSHIT sensitive " self would say, you know I used to

> like it, but you ve talked about it so much, I ve lost my taste for it.

>

> It made me sad watching that part of the movie, because I really do feel

> rapunzeled to an extent. I really wasn't allowed out at all unless I was

> with my brother, father or another adult. Ever. When I got to college,

> I went wild with freedom, but I felt that same back and forth war of

> feelings the movie depicted so well, of " mother's going to be furious

> with me " and " ah screw her, I'm free! " I didn't know how to gauge

> people, I was (and still feel at times) socially inept, I was just

> wanting to dance with everything and everyone, I was so dizzy with

> freedom.

>

> An apt metaphor for what we KO s experience when we begin to realize

> we DO exist apart from nada, and choose to heal and grow. I was just

> wanting to dance with everything and everyone, I was so dizzy with

> freedom. I love it! As the song says, When you get the choice to sit

> it out, or dance, I hope you dance!

> >

> > The sad part as well was that Rapunzel got away. Once I was done with

> school, I lived with my parents and it was as though I'd never left

> until I got married. At which point my mother treated my husband like

> the mother in Tangled... " hmmph, we'll see how this marriage thing goes!

> you got yourself into it, now enjoy yourself. "

>

> I felt so sorry for Rapunzel, and for the rest of us, when she was

> alternating between I LOVE THIS FREEDOM! and OH God, I m a TERRIBLE

> daughter!

>

> Yes, Ra, that is what they do to us. But the dirty little secret is, a

> good , loving parent, a healthy adult parent, lets the conflict between

> staying with them and going to experience the freedom be the PARENT s

> internal conflict, not the childs. The parent my cry, and say, boy I

> sure do miss my ( son, daughter), but outwardly, they are the biggest

> cheerleader for them to achieve independence, freedom, and their own

> happiness. They make every effort to make the DIL or SIL feel welcome,

> and loved, and choose to love them like a new son or daughter, knowing

> that as that spouse becomes a part of their child, loving your child

> means loving their mate. Making the DIL welcome in your home, means the

> son feels welcome, and wants to come. A healthy parent wishes them joy,

> not guilt.

>

> A loving , healthy parent has a home in which their adult child is an

> always welcome guest. A BP has one in which the adult child is a

> prisoner.

>

> And to the statement, hmmph, we'll see how this marriage thing goes!

> you got yourself into it, now enjoy yourself. "

>

> My answer is, yes, I did. And I will.

>

> My nada took me aside for one of those horrid MOTHER/son talks the

> afternoon before I got married. She said, among other things, but this

> stays with me most, Whatever you do, just don t let her take my little

> boy away from me.

>

> What a hell of a thing to say? Listen bitch, tomorrow night I m going

> to have sex with that woman, so don t talk to me about being your little

> boy!

>

> Boy the shit they put us through!

>

> Tangled has a lot of good metaphor s for the BP world. I think this is

> one we an add to our Oz repertoire. Anything that helps us dispel the

> FOG, or helps us help our friends to make the journey, is a good thing.

>

> Doug

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'll be waiting for it to hit DVD too Holly. Fiance doesn't want to see it

and I can't really go alone after surgery lol. It's also on my " to watch

list " ! I'm very curious to see it.

Mia

[Guest guest]

I'll be waiting for it to hit DVD too Holly. Fiance doesn't want to see it

and I can't really go alone after surgery lol. It's also on my " to watch

list " ! I'm very curious to see it.

Mia

[Guest guest]

I'm going to try to be one of the first people on the library's waiting

list, as soon as there can be a waiting list! I'm too cheap to buy movies

unless I *really* like it, lol.

Hope your surgery goes well

Holly

>

>

> I'll be waiting for it to hit DVD too Holly. Fiance doesn't want to see it

> and I can't really go alone after surgery lol. It's also on my " to watch

> list " ! I'm very curious to see it.

>

> Mia

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm going to try to be one of the first people on the library's waiting

list, as soon as there can be a waiting list! I'm too cheap to buy movies

unless I *really* like it, lol.

Hope your surgery goes well

Holly

>

>

> I'll be waiting for it to hit DVD too Holly. Fiance doesn't want to see it

> and I can't really go alone after surgery lol. It's also on my " to watch

> list " ! I'm very curious to see it.

>

> Mia

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm going to try to be one of the first people on the library's waiting

list, as soon as there can be a waiting list! I'm too cheap to buy movies

unless I *really* like it, lol.

Hope your surgery goes well

Holly

>

>

> I'll be waiting for it to hit DVD too Holly. Fiance doesn't want to see it

> and I can't really go alone after surgery lol. It's also on my " to watch

> list " ! I'm very curious to see it.

>

> Mia

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ooh never thought of the library. I was just going to rent it lol. Great

idea Holly!

And ty for the well wishes, I hope it goes well too. I'll drop a line here

tomorrow morning & let you guys know I'm off to the hospital. Eeep.

Mia

[Guest guest]

Ooh never thought of the library. I was just going to rent it lol. Great

idea Holly!

And ty for the well wishes, I hope it goes well too. I'll drop a line here

tomorrow morning & let you guys know I'm off to the hospital. Eeep.

Mia

[Guest guest]

As a library student, and as a long-time library employee, I'm glad to give

you another reason to go to the library! LOL.

Hopefully your recovery time will be nice and short after your surgery

Holly

>

>

> Ooh never thought of the library. I was just going to rent it lol. Great

> idea Holly!

>

> And ty for the well wishes, I hope it goes well too. I'll drop a line here

> tomorrow morning & let you guys know I'm off to the hospital. Eeep.

>

>

> Mia

>

>

[Guest guest]

As a library student, and as a long-time library employee, I'm glad to give

you another reason to go to the library! LOL.

Hopefully your recovery time will be nice and short after your surgery

Holly

>

>

> Ooh never thought of the library. I was just going to rent it lol. Great

> idea Holly!

>

> And ty for the well wishes, I hope it goes well too. I'll drop a line here

> tomorrow morning & let you guys know I'm off to the hospital. Eeep.

>

>

> Mia

>

>

[Guest guest]

LOL Holly, much respect to you! I love the library =)

[Guest guest]

LOL Holly, much respect to you! I love the library =)

[Guest guest]

LOL Holly, much respect to you! I love the library =)

[Guest guest]

yep, that pretty much sums it up

>

>

> Interesting thought. Words from Nada s do not mean the same thing as

> words from the rest of us.

>

> When I say, this is MY son, I am referring to a relationship. This

> young man is the child I raised, the little boy who rode on my back,

> someone I love and respect and take pride in. This is my son, who I m

> learning to relate to as an adult son to an adult father.

>

> When a Nada says, this is MY son, she means I M THE MOTHER. I own

> this. It is part of the things I m entitled to, in order to fulfill my

> needs. She is referring to ownership and obligation.

>

> Doug

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

yep, that pretty much sums it up

>

>

> Interesting thought. Words from Nada s do not mean the same thing as

> words from the rest of us.

>

> When I say, this is MY son, I am referring to a relationship. This

> young man is the child I raised, the little boy who rode on my back,

> someone I love and respect and take pride in. This is my son, who I m

> learning to relate to as an adult son to an adult father.

>

> When a Nada says, this is MY son, she means I M THE MOTHER. I own

> this. It is part of the things I m entitled to, in order to fulfill my

> needs. She is referring to ownership and obligation.

>

> Doug

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

yep, that pretty much sums it up

>

>

> Interesting thought. Words from Nada s do not mean the same thing as

> words from the rest of us.

>

> When I say, this is MY son, I am referring to a relationship. This

> young man is the child I raised, the little boy who rode on my back,

> someone I love and respect and take pride in. This is my son, who I m

> learning to relate to as an adult son to an adult father.

>

> When a Nada says, this is MY son, she means I M THE MOTHER. I own

> this. It is part of the things I m entitled to, in order to fulfill my

> needs. She is referring to ownership and obligation.

>

> Doug

>

>

>