Re: Re: Nada in mental hospital

[Guest guest]

I would like to thank you all of you for your support! I'm so happy that I

found you and allready you have special place in my heart :-)

Until now i've managed to solve most of the stuff by herself but I think it

allways comes to the point when you need somebody from outside. I have some

good friends but it is different to talk to you. It would be good if I would

have good therapist ( or if my mother would has it) but from my experience

I probably now much more about BPD then most of them.From the moment I have

started to read your postes and than started to cooperate I had a feeling

that the last fog on my eyes or in my hart is starting to clearing up. Thank

you again for all your concern and help!

Yenaine

2010/12/17 christine.depizan

>

>

> Hi Yenaine,

>

> A couple of times in the past we've had members on here whose BPD parent

> was either in a mental hospital or involved somehow with mental health

> social services who were told by the staff that their parent's issue (like

> with your nada's clothes) was *their* problem to sort out.I guess dumping

> the " problem " on the KO makes it less of a liability for the professionals

> involved with the PD's case,but it really places an undue and unfair burden

> onto the KO.You've handled it really well! Good idea to offer to cover for

> the social worker if needs be but having *her* go get nada's clothes.I'll

> bet she's burnt out--your nada is totally an effing piece of work.How tiring

> to have to keep dodging nada's ploys.

>

> Yes,that new doctor sounds frustrating to deal with.I wonder if they have

> to officially record her commitment in the mental hospital as " depression "

> since BPD is classified as " untreatable " ? But I agree that it's akin to

> disregarding a cancer patient's cancer and saying oh well we'll just give

> him a little something for his aches and pains--it's absurd!!!! But we the

> KOs are the ones who keenly see the absurdity.I'm glad you can maintain your

> sense of humor about it--yeah,I can imagine someone like your nada winning

> an Academy Award for her moving performance *and at the same time* switching

> to pure evil mode if she is thwarted.That image you gave of her wandering

> around the ward like a poor little old abandoned lady having to wear the

> hospital clothes because " nobody " cares about her--that she is doing that is

> *part* of her sickness and there the nurses are not even understanding that

> what she's doing is a *symptom* of how ill she is but feeling sorry for her

> instead.If she was a schizophrenic who was lamenting to all and sundry that

> her heart was breaking because nobody would accept the fact that she is the

> sceond coming of Jesus Christ,would anyone take her seriously? No--the

> nurses would note that apparently her meds aren't working...It's amazing the

> degree of sheer ignorance,even on a mental hosital ward,of how BPDs display

> the symptoms of their disease.

>

> The validation you got from her first doctor must have been so

> helpful.Thank goodness he was there to set you straight about the legal

> guardian thing.He totally got it,didn't he,even down to realizing that your

> nada would use it as a *weapon*.That's too much that the nurses were

> undermining him behind his back when he really knew what he was doing,but I

> hope he gets assigned to your nada's case again.

>

> I feel for you.If those nurses and the new doctor had even the slightest

> conception of what your nada has put you through since you were a child and

> of how very honorably and ethically you are behaving with her now in light

> of how badly *she* has behaved...

>

> Stay strong and take care,

>

>

>

>

> >

> > I make a new subject so we don't mix different themas.

> >

> > Hi !

> > They pumped her stomach and did some toxic test and they didn't found

> nothing except she is addicted to valium... but because she threatened with

> suicide they have to observe her 72 hours and after that they decided to

> keep her in hospital because she is in a bad condition ( depression,

> psychotic...)

> >

> > Now she is in new department and has a new doctor who is very bad. I

> called her doctor today and tell her the story and she told me that my

> mother clothes are my problem. I asked her if she really new my mother

> diagnose and she said that they don't treat her because of BPD , but because

> of depression???!!! It is like if somebody would have cancer and they would

> said we don't care for cancer we we'll treat him for feeling sick....??!!

> Thankfully this doctor goes to vacation for 3 weeks and nada would have

> another one who would hopefully will be more clever and knows better.

> >

> > Anyway I forbade that any of their stuff ( nurses) call me in the middle

> of the night to tell me my nada wishes. I can tell you she didn't like my

> tone:-))) Nada was in hospital once before and at that time she was

> diagnosed with BPD. Her doctor at that time said to me that he never ever in

> his career met a patient who was capable ( like my nada) to manipulate with

> all the nurses for a mounth!! before they discovered that she is using them.

> You should see her.....she would win reword easily....she can be

> sweet, tender, sensitive, fragile, deep, empatic, sad......if she wants to

> be. And she can be pure evil if you don't play by her rules. The nurses even

> worked behind doctor back ( poor lady is so sweet and nobody understand

> her..) I hope he will be next doctor in charge for my nada. He helped me a

> lot when my nada was in hospital that first time. Nada convinced me that she

> is not capable of taking care for herself anymore than and I decided to

> become her legal guardian ( caretaker? I don't now the English word but it

> means I would legaly take care of her because she would have status of being

> legally incapable) He opened my eyes and told me that I would put in my nada

> hand the worst possible weapon - she would have all the possibilities to

> manipulate with me and I would be legal responible. So I refuse my nada

> request and she miraculously gets better and has been living successfully by

> herself another 10 years.

> >

> > About nada clothes ..... I have called social worker and asked her to go

> to nada house anyway and take some clothes. She is great - but completely

> burn out because of nada but now when we cooperate it is easier for her and

> for me. She agreed to go and i said to her if somebody will make some fuss I

> will cover her by telling that I didn't tell her that nada doesn't allow to

> do it. She takes care for the house anyway and she is inside the house 2

> times a week.

> >

> > After nada gets her clothes I'll buy her some tracksuit for Christmas (

> is she would behave...:-)

> > Thanks for your support. Nobody else who didn't experience BPD would not

> understand where is the problem:

> >

> > Yenaine

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

heheheh....can you imagine how much troubles I'll make her - she will has

to completely rearrange her victim role...:-)) ...but I'm sure she 'll find

a way soon.I was planing to go there tomorrow but I have decided to take

some time for myself instead. it is a first weekend after a long time that

I have some time for doing that ( and I'm very tired and exhausted ) so I

decided to stay home and go there in the middle of the week to see her

new doctor too. I have asked my FOG to behave - so far it goes well :-))

I don't care about the nurses - I decided long ago not to try to explain or

do anything just to prove I'm ok or to change people minds. The nurses who

are qualified will see what it is going on the others who felt into nada

spell won't. And trying to convince them in my view of reality it would be

just like playing the same game that nada does. You don't get the results

you would want 'cos you can never realy change people mind and believes if

they are not willing to - at least not for long.....) I ll rather put my my

energy in something more productive...:-))

have a nice evening

Yenaine

2010/12/18 anuria67854

>

>

> Yenaine, your post made me smile! Your " revenge " of buying your nada

> attractive, brand-new clothes to wear is so... creative! And gentle. And not

> really " revenge " at all, seems to me.

>

> Your nada, I'm guessing, will choose to continue wearing the tatty

> hand-me-down hospital clothes instead of wearing the nice clothes you've

> bought her, but that's her choice. Hopefully it will make it more obvious to

> the nursing staff that your nada " has a few screws loose " and is *not* being

> neglected or mistreated at all.

>

> Good for you!

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > I make a new subject so we don't mix different themas.

> > > >

> > > > Hi !

> > > > They pumped her stomach and did some toxic test and they didn't found

> nothing except she is addicted to valium... but because she threatened with

> suicide they have to observe her 72 hours and after that they decided to

> keep her in hospital because she is in a bad condition ( depression,

> psychotic...)

> > > >

> > > > Now she is in new department and has a new doctor who is very bad. I

> called her doctor today and tell her the story and she told me that my

> mother clothes are my problem. I asked her if she really new my mother

> diagnose and she said that they don't treat her because of BPD , but because

> of depression???!!! It is like if somebody would have cancer and they would

> said we don't care for cancer we we'll treat him for feeling sick....??!!

> Thankfully this doctor goes to vacation for 3 weeks and nada would have

> another one who would hopefully will be more clever and knows better.

> > > >

> > > > Anyway I forbade that any of their stuff ( nurses) call me in the

> middle of the night to tell me my nada wishes. I can tell you she didn't

> like my tone:-))) Nada was in hospital once before and at that time she was

> diagnosed with BPD. Her doctor at that time said to me that he never ever in

> his career met a patient who was capable ( like my nada) to manipulate with

> all the nurses for a mounth!! before they discovered that she is using them.

> You should see her.....she would win reword easily....she can be

> sweet, tender, sensitive, fragile, deep, empatic, sad......if she wants to

> be. And she can be pure evil if you don't play by her rules. The nurses even

> worked behind doctor back ( poor lady is so sweet and nobody understand

> her..) I hope he will be next doctor in charge for my nada. He helped me a

> lot when my nada was in hospital that first time. Nada convinced me that she

> is not capable of taking care for herself anymore than and I decided to

> become her legal guardian ( caretaker? I don't now the English word but it

> means I would legaly take care of her because she would have status of being

> legally incapable) He opened my eyes and told me that I would put in my nada

> hand the worst possible weapon - she would have all the possibilities to

> manipulate with me and I would be legal responible. So I refuse my nada

> request and she miraculously gets better and has been living successfully by

> herself another 10 years.

> > > >

> > > > About nada clothes ..... I have called social worker and asked her to

> go to nada house anyway and take some clothes. She is great - but completely

> burn out because of nada but now when we cooperate it is easier for her and

> for me. She agreed to go and i said to her if somebody will make some fuss I

> will cover her by telling that I didn't tell her that nada doesn't allow to

> do it. She takes care for the house anyway and she is inside the house 2

> times a week.

> > > >

> > > > After nada gets her clothes I'll buy her some tracksuit for Christmas

> ( is she would behave...:-)

> > > > Thanks for your support. Nobody else who didn't experience BPD would

> not understand where is the problem:

> > > >

> > > > Yenaine

> > >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

HI Yenaine, I like your " revenge " ! Your nada sounds like my grandnada...

always plain, bland and yes, she is very good at playing off the " poor old

woman " thing. I wonder if beige/tan/brown is a preferred color for nadas?

Mia

>

>

> Today I have made a plane for a little revenge for my mother manipulation

> about bringing her my clothes to hospital.

>

> Nada always wear black and brown clothes who has to be the cheapest in

> town. Today I have bought her some clothes (tracksuit, pajamas, underwear

> and socks). I chose the most beautiful , colorful, light colored clothes.

> They were not expensive but they for sure look expensive. I just know she

> would HATE that clothes. They won't fit in her image of poor , abandoned

> women. Whenever I bought her something nice she would put that in closet and

> never wear it. No she has no choise :-) And because she always bribes and

> manipulates others with gifts she would feel terrible because she would have

> a feeling that she owe me something now ( at least a better behavior) It was

> worth every cent...heheh. I know it's childish but I can not help it and it

> made me smile all day long just to imagine myself with the most innocent

> look on my face giving her that clothes. And for sure she would not ask me

> to give her MY clothes anymore..:-))

> Yenaine

>

>

>

> > >

> > > I make a new subject so we don't mix different themas.

> > >

> > > Hi !

> > > They pumped her stomach and did some toxic test and they didn't found

> nothing except she is addicted to valium... but because she threatened with

> suicide they have to observe her 72 hours and after that they decided to

> keep her in hospital because she is in a bad condition ( depression,

> psychotic...)

> > >

> > > Now she is in new department and has a new doctor who is very bad. I

> called her doctor today and tell her the story and she told me that my

> mother clothes are my problem. I asked her if she really new my mother

> diagnose and she said that they don't treat her because of BPD , but because

> of depression???!!! It is like if somebody would have cancer and they would

> said we don't care for cancer we we'll treat him for feeling sick....??!!

> Thankfully this doctor goes to vacation for 3 weeks and nada would have

> another one who would hopefully will be more clever and knows better.

> > >

> > > Anyway I forbade that any of their stuff ( nurses) call me in the

> middle of the night to tell me my nada wishes. I can tell you she didn't

> like my tone:-))) Nada was in hospital once before and at that time she was

> diagnosed with BPD. Her doctor at that time said to me that he never ever in

> his career met a patient who was capable ( like my nada) to manipulate with

> all the nurses for a mounth!! before they discovered that she is using them.

> You should see her.....she would win reword easily....she can be

> sweet, tender, sensitive, fragile, deep, empatic, sad......if she wants to

> be. And she can be pure evil if you don't play by her rules. The nurses even

> worked behind doctor back ( poor lady is so sweet and nobody understand

> her..) I hope he will be next doctor in charge for my nada. He helped me a

> lot when my nada was in hospital that first time. Nada convinced me that she

> is not capable of taking care for herself anymore than and I decided to

> become her legal guardian ( caretaker? I don't now the English word but it

> means I would legaly take care of her because she would have status of being

> legally incapable) He opened my eyes and told me that I would put in my nada

> hand the worst possible weapon - she would have all the possibilities to

> manipulate with me and I would be legal responible. So I refuse my nada

> request and she miraculously gets better and has been living successfully by

> herself another 10 years.

> > >

> > > About nada clothes ..... I have called social worker and asked her to

> go to nada house anyway and take some clothes. She is great - but completely

> burn out because of nada but now when we cooperate it is easier for her and

> for me. She agreed to go and i said to her if somebody will make some fuss I

> will cover her by telling that I didn't tell her that nada doesn't allow to

> do it. She takes care for the house anyway and she is inside the house 2

> times a week.

> > >

> > > After nada gets her clothes I'll buy her some tracksuit for Christmas (

> is she would behave...:-)

> > > Thanks for your support. Nobody else who didn't experience BPD would

> not understand where is the problem:

> > >

> > > Yenaine

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

No, my nada liked the bizarre colors and patters - esp floral, denim,

country looking stuff. She wore a tan mens button up shirt one day and told

me she couldn't wear that color because it matched her skin. I'm sorry, but

the bitch was almost always red in the face, with red/pink/orange hair. no,

it didn't match her skin. But she really thought she was camo in that shirt.

I don't know why, but that memory always stayed with me like it was an

important one.

> HI Yenaine, I like your " revenge " ! Your nada sounds like my grandnada...

> always plain, bland and yes, she is very good at playing off the " poor old

> woman " thing. I wonder if beige/tan/brown is a preferred color for nadas?

>

> Mia

>

>

>

> >

> >

> > Today I have made a plane for a little revenge for my mother manipulation

> > about bringing her my clothes to hospital.

> >

> > Nada always wear black and brown clothes who has to be the cheapest in

> > town. Today I have bought her some clothes (tracksuit, pajamas, underwear

> > and socks). I chose the most beautiful , colorful, light colored clothes.

> > They were not expensive but they for sure look expensive. I just know she

> > would HATE that clothes. They won't fit in her image of poor , abandoned

> > women. Whenever I bought her something nice she would put that in closet

> and

> > never wear it. No she has no choise :-) And because she always bribes and

> > manipulates others with gifts she would feel terrible because she would

> have

> > a feeling that she owe me something now ( at least a better behavior) It

> was

> > worth every cent...heheh. I know it's childish but I can not help it and

> it

> > made me smile all day long just to imagine myself with the most innocent

> > look on my face giving her that clothes. And for sure she would not ask

> me

> > to give her MY clothes anymore..:-))

> > Yenaine

> >

> >

> >

> > > >

> > > > I make a new subject so we don't mix different themas.

> > > >

> > > > Hi !

> > > > They pumped her stomach and did some toxic test and they didn't found

> > nothing except she is addicted to valium... but because she threatened

> with

> > suicide they have to observe her 72 hours and after that they decided to

> > keep her in hospital because she is in a bad condition ( depression,

> > psychotic...)

> > > >

> > > > Now she is in new department and has a new doctor who is very bad. I

> > called her doctor today and tell her the story and she told me that my

> > mother clothes are my problem. I asked her if she really new my mother

> > diagnose and she said that they don't treat her because of BPD , but

> because

> > of depression???!!! It is like if somebody would have cancer and they

> would

> > said we don't care for cancer we we'll treat him for feeling sick....??!!

> > Thankfully this doctor goes to vacation for 3 weeks and nada would have

> > another one who would hopefully will be more clever and knows better.

> > > >

> > > > Anyway I forbade that any of their stuff ( nurses) call me in the

> > middle of the night to tell me my nada wishes. I can tell you she didn't

> > like my tone:-))) Nada was in hospital once before and at that time she

> was

> > diagnosed with BPD. Her doctor at that time said to me that he never ever

> in

> > his career met a patient who was capable ( like my nada) to manipulate

> with

> > all the nurses for a mounth!! before they discovered that she is using

> them.

> > You should see her.....she would win reword easily....she can be

> > sweet, tender, sensitive, fragile, deep, empatic, sad......if she wants

> to

> > be. And she can be pure evil if you don't play by her rules. The nurses

> even

> > worked behind doctor back ( poor lady is so sweet and nobody understand

> > her..) I hope he will be next doctor in charge for my nada. He helped me

> a

> > lot when my nada was in hospital that first time. Nada convinced me that

> she

> > is not capable of taking care for herself anymore than and I decided to

> > become her legal guardian ( caretaker? I don't now the English word but

> it

> > means I would legaly take care of her because she would have status of

> being

> > legally incapable) He opened my eyes and told me that I would put in my

> nada

> > hand the worst possible weapon - she would have all the possibilities to

> > manipulate with me and I would be legal responible. So I refuse my nada

> > request and she miraculously gets better and has been living successfully

> by

> > herself another 10 years.

> > > >

> > > > About nada clothes ..... I have called social worker and asked her to

> > go to nada house anyway and take some clothes. She is great - but

> completely

> > burn out because of nada but now when we cooperate it is easier for her

> and

> > for me. She agreed to go and i said to her if somebody will make some

> fuss I

> > will cover her by telling that I didn't tell her that nada doesn't allow

> to

> > do it. She takes care for the house anyway and she is inside the house 2

> > times a week.

> > > >

> > > > After nada gets her clothes I'll buy her some tracksuit for Christmas

> (

> > is she would behave...:-)

> > > > Thanks for your support. Nobody else who didn't experience BPD would

> > not understand where is the problem:

> > > >

> > > > Yenaine

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

No, my nada liked the bizarre colors and patters - esp floral, denim,

country looking stuff. She wore a tan mens button up shirt one day and told

me she couldn't wear that color because it matched her skin. I'm sorry, but

the bitch was almost always red in the face, with red/pink/orange hair. no,

it didn't match her skin. But she really thought she was camo in that shirt.

I don't know why, but that memory always stayed with me like it was an

important one.

> HI Yenaine, I like your " revenge " ! Your nada sounds like my grandnada...

> always plain, bland and yes, she is very good at playing off the " poor old

> woman " thing. I wonder if beige/tan/brown is a preferred color for nadas?

>

> Mia

>

>

>

> >

> >

> > Today I have made a plane for a little revenge for my mother manipulation

> > about bringing her my clothes to hospital.

> >

> > Nada always wear black and brown clothes who has to be the cheapest in

> > town. Today I have bought her some clothes (tracksuit, pajamas, underwear

> > and socks). I chose the most beautiful , colorful, light colored clothes.

> > They were not expensive but they for sure look expensive. I just know she

> > would HATE that clothes. They won't fit in her image of poor , abandoned

> > women. Whenever I bought her something nice she would put that in closet

> and

> > never wear it. No she has no choise :-) And because she always bribes and

> > manipulates others with gifts she would feel terrible because she would

> have

> > a feeling that she owe me something now ( at least a better behavior) It

> was

> > worth every cent...heheh. I know it's childish but I can not help it and

> it

> > made me smile all day long just to imagine myself with the most innocent

> > look on my face giving her that clothes. And for sure she would not ask

> me

> > to give her MY clothes anymore..:-))

> > Yenaine

> >

> >

> >

> > > >

> > > > I make a new subject so we don't mix different themas.

> > > >

> > > > Hi !

> > > > They pumped her stomach and did some toxic test and they didn't found

> > nothing except she is addicted to valium... but because she threatened

> with

> > suicide they have to observe her 72 hours and after that they decided to

> > keep her in hospital because she is in a bad condition ( depression,

> > psychotic...)

> > > >

> > > > Now she is in new department and has a new doctor who is very bad. I

> > called her doctor today and tell her the story and she told me that my

> > mother clothes are my problem. I asked her if she really new my mother

> > diagnose and she said that they don't treat her because of BPD , but

> because

> > of depression???!!! It is like if somebody would have cancer and they

> would

> > said we don't care for cancer we we'll treat him for feeling sick....??!!

> > Thankfully this doctor goes to vacation for 3 weeks and nada would have

> > another one who would hopefully will be more clever and knows better.

> > > >

> > > > Anyway I forbade that any of their stuff ( nurses) call me in the

> > middle of the night to tell me my nada wishes. I can tell you she didn't

> > like my tone:-))) Nada was in hospital once before and at that time she

> was

> > diagnosed with BPD. Her doctor at that time said to me that he never ever

> in

> > his career met a patient who was capable ( like my nada) to manipulate

> with

> > all the nurses for a mounth!! before they discovered that she is using

> them.

> > You should see her.....she would win reword easily....she can be

> > sweet, tender, sensitive, fragile, deep, empatic, sad......if she wants

> to

> > be. And she can be pure evil if you don't play by her rules. The nurses

> even

> > worked behind doctor back ( poor lady is so sweet and nobody understand

> > her..) I hope he will be next doctor in charge for my nada. He helped me

> a

> > lot when my nada was in hospital that first time. Nada convinced me that

> she

> > is not capable of taking care for herself anymore than and I decided to

> > become her legal guardian ( caretaker? I don't now the English word but

> it

> > means I would legaly take care of her because she would have status of

> being

> > legally incapable) He opened my eyes and told me that I would put in my

> nada

> > hand the worst possible weapon - she would have all the possibilities to

> > manipulate with me and I would be legal responible. So I refuse my nada

> > request and she miraculously gets better and has been living successfully

> by

> > herself another 10 years.

> > > >

> > > > About nada clothes ..... I have called social worker and asked her to

> > go to nada house anyway and take some clothes. She is great - but

> completely

> > burn out because of nada but now when we cooperate it is easier for her

> and

> > for me. She agreed to go and i said to her if somebody will make some

> fuss I

> > will cover her by telling that I didn't tell her that nada doesn't allow

> to

> > do it. She takes care for the house anyway and she is inside the house 2

> > times a week.

> > > >

> > > > After nada gets her clothes I'll buy her some tracksuit for Christmas

> (

> > is she would behave...:-)

> > > > Thanks for your support. Nobody else who didn't experience BPD would

> > not understand where is the problem:

> > > >

> > > > Yenaine

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

lol Girlscout, I'm sorry for laughing but just the sort of description of

your nada made me chuckle.

Maybe your nada's more the queen type... wanting attention? So the loud

colors work well for her? Or maybe she's not, and she just likes bold

colors!

My grandnada is more of the waif/hermit type. So tan seems suiting!

Sorry, just finding this slightly amusing. Like a game of " guess which type

of BPD my nada is based on what she wears " .

Not trying to offend so I hope no one is. Guess I'm just finding it as a

fun way to put a spin on the craziness of nadas.

Mia

On Thu, Dec 30, 2010 at 6:52 AM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

>

>

> No, my nada liked the bizarre colors and patters - esp floral, denim,

> country looking stuff. She wore a tan mens button up shirt one day and told

> me she couldn't wear that color because it matched her skin. I'm sorry, but

> the bitch was almost always red in the face, with red/pink/orange hair. no,

> it didn't match her skin. But she really thought she was camo in that

> shirt.

> I don't know why, but that memory always stayed with me like it was an

> important one.

>

[Guest guest]

Oh geez, no offense at all. I think its pretty funny myself. I would love to

play that game! Yep queen/witch but she would resort to pretending to be a

waif/hermit when queening and witching about didn't get her what she wanted.

" Oh I'm so helpless blah blah blah you must make me dinner and then I will

dislike it very much because of the vegetables in it and eat candy

(specifically tootsie rolls) out of my purse instead after I waste the time

you should have spent doing your homework. "

XOXO happy new year guys. Could we play guess the type based on the candy at

the bottom of their purses? I'd be down for that one too.

>

>

> lol Girlscout, I'm sorry for laughing but just the sort of description of

> your nada made me chuckle.

>

> Maybe your nada's more the queen type... wanting attention? So the loud

> colors work well for her? Or maybe she's not, and she just likes bold

> colors!

>

> My grandnada is more of the waif/hermit type. So tan seems suiting!

>

> Sorry, just finding this slightly amusing. Like a game of " guess which type

> of BPD my nada is based on what she wears " .

>

> Not trying to offend so I hope no one is. Guess I'm just finding it as a

> fun way to put a spin on the craziness of nadas.

>

> Mia

>

>

> On Thu, Dec 30, 2010 at 6:52 AM, Girlscout Cowboy <

> girlscout.cowboy@... <girlscout.cowboy%40gmail.com>> wrote:

>

> >

> >

> > No, my nada liked the bizarre colors and patters - esp floral, denim,

> > country looking stuff. She wore a tan mens button up shirt one day and

> told

> > me she couldn't wear that color because it matched her skin. I'm sorry,

> but

> > the bitch was almost always red in the face, with red/pink/orange hair.

> no,

> > it didn't match her skin. But she really thought she was camo in that

> > shirt.

> > I don't know why, but that memory always stayed with me like it was an

> > important one.

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Phew, glad I didn't upset you. I'm just reacquainting myself with the list.

So she is a queen/witch? And she likes the bright & flashy clothing.

My nada is a witch/hermit. I put witch first because I honestly believe she

is one of those who is primarily a witch. But she was also hermit-esque at

times. Sometimes Queenie too, but rarely the waif (only when it really

suited her... like when i had surgery & she was telling me I was full of

sh** about being sick & just doing it for attention. But she got all waify

when the doctor told her there really was something wrong. Grrrrr!)

Nada liked plain styled & comfortable clothes, but different colors. Mostly

low key colors though, nothing loud. She used to hate my style of clothing

& would try to get me to buy loud colors & patterns. I never understood it.

Grandnada was all tan/brown lol. I think she's the hermit/waif.

As for candy, nada doesn't usually have any. Maybe a peppermint, maybe gum

of various flavors. I think raspberry gum was her favorite. I just

remember it being pink & fruity. Grandnada ALWAYS has wrigley's spearmint

gum in her purse and will only chew 1/2 a stick at a time. Sometimes she

has butterscotch.

Mia

On Thu, Dec 30, 2010 at 4:16 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> Oh geez, no offense at all. I think its pretty funny myself. I would love

> to

> play that game! Yep queen/witch but she would resort to pretending to be a

> waif/hermit when queening and witching about didn't get her what she

> wanted.

> " Oh I'm so helpless blah blah blah you must make me dinner and then I will

> dislike it very much because of the vegetables in it and eat candy

> (specifically tootsie rolls) out of my purse instead after I waste the time

> you should have spent doing your homework. "

>

> XOXO happy new year guys. Could we play guess the type based on the candy

> at

> the bottom of their purses? I'd be down for that one too.

[Guest guest]

Phew, glad I didn't upset you. I'm just reacquainting myself with the list.

So she is a queen/witch? And she likes the bright & flashy clothing.

My nada is a witch/hermit. I put witch first because I honestly believe she

is one of those who is primarily a witch. But she was also hermit-esque at

times. Sometimes Queenie too, but rarely the waif (only when it really

suited her... like when i had surgery & she was telling me I was full of

sh** about being sick & just doing it for attention. But she got all waify

when the doctor told her there really was something wrong. Grrrrr!)

Nada liked plain styled & comfortable clothes, but different colors. Mostly

low key colors though, nothing loud. She used to hate my style of clothing

& would try to get me to buy loud colors & patterns. I never understood it.

Grandnada was all tan/brown lol. I think she's the hermit/waif.

As for candy, nada doesn't usually have any. Maybe a peppermint, maybe gum

of various flavors. I think raspberry gum was her favorite. I just

remember it being pink & fruity. Grandnada ALWAYS has wrigley's spearmint

gum in her purse and will only chew 1/2 a stick at a time. Sometimes she

has butterscotch.

Mia

On Thu, Dec 30, 2010 at 4:16 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> Oh geez, no offense at all. I think its pretty funny myself. I would love

> to

> play that game! Yep queen/witch but she would resort to pretending to be a

> waif/hermit when queening and witching about didn't get her what she

> wanted.

> " Oh I'm so helpless blah blah blah you must make me dinner and then I will

> dislike it very much because of the vegetables in it and eat candy

> (specifically tootsie rolls) out of my purse instead after I waste the time

> you should have spent doing your homework. "

>

> XOXO happy new year guys. Could we play guess the type based on the candy

> at

> the bottom of their purses? I'd be down for that one too.

[Guest guest]

Phew, glad I didn't upset you. I'm just reacquainting myself with the list.

So she is a queen/witch? And she likes the bright & flashy clothing.

My nada is a witch/hermit. I put witch first because I honestly believe she

is one of those who is primarily a witch. But she was also hermit-esque at

times. Sometimes Queenie too, but rarely the waif (only when it really

suited her... like when i had surgery & she was telling me I was full of

sh** about being sick & just doing it for attention. But she got all waify

when the doctor told her there really was something wrong. Grrrrr!)

Nada liked plain styled & comfortable clothes, but different colors. Mostly

low key colors though, nothing loud. She used to hate my style of clothing

& would try to get me to buy loud colors & patterns. I never understood it.

Grandnada was all tan/brown lol. I think she's the hermit/waif.

As for candy, nada doesn't usually have any. Maybe a peppermint, maybe gum

of various flavors. I think raspberry gum was her favorite. I just

remember it being pink & fruity. Grandnada ALWAYS has wrigley's spearmint

gum in her purse and will only chew 1/2 a stick at a time. Sometimes she

has butterscotch.

Mia

On Thu, Dec 30, 2010 at 4:16 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> Oh geez, no offense at all. I think its pretty funny myself. I would love

> to

> play that game! Yep queen/witch but she would resort to pretending to be a

> waif/hermit when queening and witching about didn't get her what she

> wanted.

> " Oh I'm so helpless blah blah blah you must make me dinner and then I will

> dislike it very much because of the vegetables in it and eat candy

> (specifically tootsie rolls) out of my purse instead after I waste the time

> you should have spent doing your homework. "

>

> XOXO happy new year guys. Could we play guess the type based on the candy

> at

> the bottom of their purses? I'd be down for that one too.

[Guest guest]

Ha ha no not at all no offense. Hmmm, my nada is the 250 to 300 lb variety

of queen/witch/sociopath who played her little violin poor me poor me when

she didn't get what she wanted. I don't totally understand the hermit

personality - who has one of those? I don't know if I get that. Is that the

hoarder? yes, i got me a hoarder nada myself. . .

>

>

> Phew, glad I didn't upset you. I'm just reacquainting myself with the list.

> So she is a queen/witch? And she likes the bright & flashy clothing.

> My nada is a witch/hermit. I put witch first because I honestly believe she

> is one of those who is primarily a witch. But she was also hermit-esque at

> times. Sometimes Queenie too, but rarely the waif (only when it really

> suited her... like when i had surgery & she was telling me I was full of

> sh** about being sick & just doing it for attention. But she got all waify

> when the doctor told her there really was something wrong. Grrrrr!)

> Nada liked plain styled & comfortable clothes, but different colors. Mostly

> low key colors though, nothing loud. She used to hate my style of clothing

> & would try to get me to buy loud colors & patterns. I never understood it.

> Grandnada was all tan/brown lol. I think she's the hermit/waif.

>

> As for candy, nada doesn't usually have any. Maybe a peppermint, maybe gum

> of various flavors. I think raspberry gum was her favorite. I just

> remember it being pink & fruity. Grandnada ALWAYS has wrigley's spearmint

> gum in her purse and will only chew 1/2 a stick at a time. Sometimes she

> has butterscotch.

>

> Mia

>

> On Thu, Dec 30, 2010 at 4:16 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <

>

> girlscout.cowboy@... <girlscout.cowboy%40gmail.com>> wrote:

>

> > Oh geez, no offense at all. I think its pretty funny myself. I would love

> > to

> > play that game! Yep queen/witch but she would resort to pretending to be

> a

> > waif/hermit when queening and witching about didn't get her what she

> > wanted.

> > " Oh I'm so helpless blah blah blah you must make me dinner and then I

> will

> > dislike it very much because of the vegetables in it and eat candy

> > (specifically tootsie rolls) out of my purse instead after I waste the

> time

> > you should have spent doing your homework. "

> >

> > XOXO happy new year guys. Could we play guess the type based on the candy

> > at

> > the bottom of their purses? I'd be down for that one too.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ha ha no not at all no offense. Hmmm, my nada is the 250 to 300 lb variety

of queen/witch/sociopath who played her little violin poor me poor me when

she didn't get what she wanted. I don't totally understand the hermit

personality - who has one of those? I don't know if I get that. Is that the

hoarder? yes, i got me a hoarder nada myself. . .

>

>

> Phew, glad I didn't upset you. I'm just reacquainting myself with the list.

> So she is a queen/witch? And she likes the bright & flashy clothing.

> My nada is a witch/hermit. I put witch first because I honestly believe she

> is one of those who is primarily a witch. But she was also hermit-esque at

> times. Sometimes Queenie too, but rarely the waif (only when it really

> suited her... like when i had surgery & she was telling me I was full of

> sh** about being sick & just doing it for attention. But she got all waify

> when the doctor told her there really was something wrong. Grrrrr!)

> Nada liked plain styled & comfortable clothes, but different colors. Mostly

> low key colors though, nothing loud. She used to hate my style of clothing

> & would try to get me to buy loud colors & patterns. I never understood it.

> Grandnada was all tan/brown lol. I think she's the hermit/waif.

>

> As for candy, nada doesn't usually have any. Maybe a peppermint, maybe gum

> of various flavors. I think raspberry gum was her favorite. I just

> remember it being pink & fruity. Grandnada ALWAYS has wrigley's spearmint

> gum in her purse and will only chew 1/2 a stick at a time. Sometimes she

> has butterscotch.

>

> Mia

>

> On Thu, Dec 30, 2010 at 4:16 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <

>

> girlscout.cowboy@... <girlscout.cowboy%40gmail.com>> wrote:

>

> > Oh geez, no offense at all. I think its pretty funny myself. I would love

> > to

> > play that game! Yep queen/witch but she would resort to pretending to be

> a

> > waif/hermit when queening and witching about didn't get her what she

> > wanted.

> > " Oh I'm so helpless blah blah blah you must make me dinner and then I

> will

> > dislike it very much because of the vegetables in it and eat candy

> > (specifically tootsie rolls) out of my purse instead after I waste the

> time

> > you should have spent doing your homework. "

> >

> > XOXO happy new year guys. Could we play guess the type based on the candy

> > at

> > the bottom of their purses? I'd be down for that one too.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hermits act like they want to be alone, but secretly they want to be like

the life of the party & be with others. They also look for hidden meanings

in little things like a simple statement, or a birthday card. One of the

things that struck me most about the hermit came from this website:

http://behavioralhealth.typepad.com/markhams_behavioral_healt/2007/06/when-the-b\

ord-1.html

If you look at his blog, he has a whole special series on BPD & The

book

" Understanding the Borderline Mother " . I did read the book but it was a

while ago.

Anyway, the thing that struck me most about the hermit besides them being

alone a lot was how they can build up walls. " They, therefore, protect

themselves by putting a wall around themselves which can be cold and stoney

or accusatory and wrathful. " <snip> " In a similar vein, to project an

exterior of invincibility, the Hermit borderline will never admit she is

wrong, never say she is sorry, never apologize

or take responsibility fo her part in hurt and injustice. She dreads being

understood by others because it indicates a loss of protective seclusion and

so usually refuses any psychotherapy or counseling. "

Yep, that is definetly my nada. Really, I could copy & paste just about

this whole blog post on the hermit and just about all of it sounds like

nada. But she's still primarily a witch. *shudder*

As for hoarding things, not sure if that's necissarily a BPD thing only. I

don't think all folks who hoard are BPD, but maybe a lot who are BPD also

hoard things? I don't know. My nada was not a hoarder. She was invasive

when it came to getting rid of things. Even things that were mine. Like my

doll house that her father (my grandpa) built for me by hand... with

trembling hands of Parkinsons disease. Yes, I obviously outgrew actually

playing with it, but she just pitched it one day without asking when I was

about 17. Words can't express how devistating that was for me. That was

something I had wanted to keep & pass down, you know.

Mia

On Thu, Dec 30, 2010 at 4:37 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> Ha ha no not at all no offense. Hmmm, my nada is the 250 to 300 lb variety

> of queen/witch/sociopath who played her little violin poor me poor me when

> she didn't get what she wanted. I don't totally understand the hermit

> personality - who has one of those? I don't know if I get that. Is that the

> hoarder? yes, i got me a hoarder nada myself. . .

>

[Guest guest]

Hermits act like they want to be alone, but secretly they want to be like

the life of the party & be with others. They also look for hidden meanings

in little things like a simple statement, or a birthday card. One of the

things that struck me most about the hermit came from this website:

http://behavioralhealth.typepad.com/markhams_behavioral_healt/2007/06/when-the-b\

ord-1.html

If you look at his blog, he has a whole special series on BPD & The

book

" Understanding the Borderline Mother " . I did read the book but it was a

while ago.

Anyway, the thing that struck me most about the hermit besides them being

alone a lot was how they can build up walls. " They, therefore, protect

themselves by putting a wall around themselves which can be cold and stoney

or accusatory and wrathful. " <snip> " In a similar vein, to project an

exterior of invincibility, the Hermit borderline will never admit she is

wrong, never say she is sorry, never apologize

or take responsibility fo her part in hurt and injustice. She dreads being

understood by others because it indicates a loss of protective seclusion and

so usually refuses any psychotherapy or counseling. "

Yep, that is definetly my nada. Really, I could copy & paste just about

this whole blog post on the hermit and just about all of it sounds like

nada. But she's still primarily a witch. *shudder*

As for hoarding things, not sure if that's necissarily a BPD thing only. I

don't think all folks who hoard are BPD, but maybe a lot who are BPD also

hoard things? I don't know. My nada was not a hoarder. She was invasive

when it came to getting rid of things. Even things that were mine. Like my

doll house that her father (my grandpa) built for me by hand... with

trembling hands of Parkinsons disease. Yes, I obviously outgrew actually

playing with it, but she just pitched it one day without asking when I was

about 17. Words can't express how devistating that was for me. That was

something I had wanted to keep & pass down, you know.

Mia

On Thu, Dec 30, 2010 at 4:37 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> Ha ha no not at all no offense. Hmmm, my nada is the 250 to 300 lb variety

> of queen/witch/sociopath who played her little violin poor me poor me when

> she didn't get what she wanted. I don't totally understand the hermit

> personality - who has one of those? I don't know if I get that. Is that the

> hoarder? yes, i got me a hoarder nada myself. . .

>

[Guest guest]

Can you possibly get a 2nd opinion or a new doctor for her?

I'm a nursing student (and no that doesn't qualify me to give medical

advice), but we learn that the client is not only the patient, but also

their family. We learn to help the family members as well, and I really

feel strongly that this doctor is only feeding your mother's delusional

beliefs and not helping YOU who is also the client!

I think as BPD survivors we often have a difficult time advocating for

ourselves. I sure do. Oddly I have no problems advocating for other

people, but due to the " rules " being different for me all of my life, I have

a hard time using the same logic/rationale I would for another person on

myself! It's really something I've had to work on since I'm having medical

issues myself. And BOY have I had my fair share of AWFUL doctors in the

past. I feel truly lucky to have finally found some good ones who actually

care and actually understand my health issues.

I'm not sure what type of facility she is in. I'm not sure if she is at

this time legally able to make her own decisions, etc, due to her mental

state? But if it were me, I would request a new doctor.

Just my 2 cents. Refunds welcome =)

Mia

>

>

> Hehehe..you both made my day I allmost fall out of my chair laughing...:-))

> Keep going.!!! I'll came back to that later.

>

> So lates news:-) I've been in hospital today and I talked to nada's doctor.

> He is a complete idiot. I was shocked while listening to him. Not going into

> details, but his view is: nada is to old to change, we can not do anything

> more than to give her some medicaments and wait what will happen. His idea

> how to handle her delusional requests is to do anything to calm her down.

> For example she has paranoid idea that something is wrong with her teeth -

> the best it would be to take her to the dentist to calm her down. I told him

> she was at the same dentist thousant times and that he said to me that

> everything is in her head that she has no real troubles. And she has

> paranoid idea that something is wrong with some of the documents for the

> house ( not thruth) so lets take her to a city hall to talk with everybody

> there so she would calm down. ( she already was there and I know that there

> is no serious problem with that) When I told him that I won't drop anything

> to feed her obsessions ( not to mention my really crazy work schedule) he

> asked me ( with accusing look) " So you do have time to do it but you don't

> want to do it because you have emotional problems with that ( meaning beeing

> stubborn) !!!! WTF!!????

>

> And the answer on my question what they will do with her BPD diagnose ( I

> asked him to consider it when they are working with her) - he is planing to

> make another evaluation. (HS!!) He probably doesn't believe that BPD exists.

> He would probably changes her diagnose to get rid of me.

>

> Of course I sent him to hell - firmly and politely because I didn't want to

> risk to get some diagnose myself...:-)) I have enough of rigid

> unprofessional psychiatrists who don't know anything really about BPD ( or

> any other personality disorders....) who see solution just in medicaments to

> make zombies out of people so they would make less troubles. I will not

> fight or argue with him it is not worth my energy ( it is like talking to a

> wall- he knows best) and it will not have any positive effects but I'll

> stick to my reality and boundaries with nada.

>

> The good thing is that I don't give a damn. I won't go there, don' t play

> this game. She follows her decisions and she is responsible for the results,

> he follows his decisions and he is responsible for his part of the outcome

> of this situation.. I don't want to take their responsibilities on my back -

> not any more. It was completely ENOUGH!

>

> I'm a bit angy of course. But I'm going to redirect this energy from anger

> to my work and to find some creative souliton how to deal with that - so I

> can do what I think is best and healthily and right and moral and ethically

> and I already have some ideas how I might do that. But just to the limit it

> is ok and right for me to. In other case I'm going to immediately exit this

> " train " - at least until it became save and ok and right for me to - she is

> human being ( even if she is the wicked one) so somehow I can't and I don't

> want to leave her totally.

>

> Yenaine

>

[Guest guest]

Can you possibly get a 2nd opinion or a new doctor for her?

I'm a nursing student (and no that doesn't qualify me to give medical

advice), but we learn that the client is not only the patient, but also

their family. We learn to help the family members as well, and I really

feel strongly that this doctor is only feeding your mother's delusional

beliefs and not helping YOU who is also the client!

I think as BPD survivors we often have a difficult time advocating for

ourselves. I sure do. Oddly I have no problems advocating for other

people, but due to the " rules " being different for me all of my life, I have

a hard time using the same logic/rationale I would for another person on

myself! It's really something I've had to work on since I'm having medical

issues myself. And BOY have I had my fair share of AWFUL doctors in the

past. I feel truly lucky to have finally found some good ones who actually

care and actually understand my health issues.

I'm not sure what type of facility she is in. I'm not sure if she is at

this time legally able to make her own decisions, etc, due to her mental

state? But if it were me, I would request a new doctor.

Just my 2 cents. Refunds welcome =)

Mia

>

>

> Hehehe..you both made my day I allmost fall out of my chair laughing...:-))

> Keep going.!!! I'll came back to that later.

>

> So lates news:-) I've been in hospital today and I talked to nada's doctor.

> He is a complete idiot. I was shocked while listening to him. Not going into

> details, but his view is: nada is to old to change, we can not do anything

> more than to give her some medicaments and wait what will happen. His idea

> how to handle her delusional requests is to do anything to calm her down.

> For example she has paranoid idea that something is wrong with her teeth -

> the best it would be to take her to the dentist to calm her down. I told him

> she was at the same dentist thousant times and that he said to me that

> everything is in her head that she has no real troubles. And she has

> paranoid idea that something is wrong with some of the documents for the

> house ( not thruth) so lets take her to a city hall to talk with everybody

> there so she would calm down. ( she already was there and I know that there

> is no serious problem with that) When I told him that I won't drop anything

> to feed her obsessions ( not to mention my really crazy work schedule) he

> asked me ( with accusing look) " So you do have time to do it but you don't

> want to do it because you have emotional problems with that ( meaning beeing

> stubborn) !!!! WTF!!????

>

> And the answer on my question what they will do with her BPD diagnose ( I

> asked him to consider it when they are working with her) - he is planing to

> make another evaluation. (HS!!) He probably doesn't believe that BPD exists.

> He would probably changes her diagnose to get rid of me.

>

> Of course I sent him to hell - firmly and politely because I didn't want to

> risk to get some diagnose myself...:-)) I have enough of rigid

> unprofessional psychiatrists who don't know anything really about BPD ( or

> any other personality disorders....) who see solution just in medicaments to

> make zombies out of people so they would make less troubles. I will not

> fight or argue with him it is not worth my energy ( it is like talking to a

> wall- he knows best) and it will not have any positive effects but I'll

> stick to my reality and boundaries with nada.

>

> The good thing is that I don't give a damn. I won't go there, don' t play

> this game. She follows her decisions and she is responsible for the results,

> he follows his decisions and he is responsible for his part of the outcome

> of this situation.. I don't want to take their responsibilities on my back -

> not any more. It was completely ENOUGH!

>

> I'm a bit angy of course. But I'm going to redirect this energy from anger

> to my work and to find some creative souliton how to deal with that - so I

> can do what I think is best and healthily and right and moral and ethically

> and I already have some ideas how I might do that. But just to the limit it

> is ok and right for me to. In other case I'm going to immediately exit this

> " train " - at least until it became save and ok and right for me to - she is

> human being ( even if she is the wicked one) so somehow I can't and I don't

> want to leave her totally.

>

> Yenaine

>

[Guest guest]

Can you possibly get a 2nd opinion or a new doctor for her?

I'm a nursing student (and no that doesn't qualify me to give medical

advice), but we learn that the client is not only the patient, but also

their family. We learn to help the family members as well, and I really

feel strongly that this doctor is only feeding your mother's delusional

beliefs and not helping YOU who is also the client!

I think as BPD survivors we often have a difficult time advocating for

ourselves. I sure do. Oddly I have no problems advocating for other

people, but due to the " rules " being different for me all of my life, I have

a hard time using the same logic/rationale I would for another person on

myself! It's really something I've had to work on since I'm having medical

issues myself. And BOY have I had my fair share of AWFUL doctors in the

past. I feel truly lucky to have finally found some good ones who actually

care and actually understand my health issues.

I'm not sure what type of facility she is in. I'm not sure if she is at

this time legally able to make her own decisions, etc, due to her mental

state? But if it were me, I would request a new doctor.

Just my 2 cents. Refunds welcome =)

Mia

>

>

> Hehehe..you both made my day I allmost fall out of my chair laughing...:-))

> Keep going.!!! I'll came back to that later.

>

> So lates news:-) I've been in hospital today and I talked to nada's doctor.

> He is a complete idiot. I was shocked while listening to him. Not going into

> details, but his view is: nada is to old to change, we can not do anything

> more than to give her some medicaments and wait what will happen. His idea

> how to handle her delusional requests is to do anything to calm her down.

> For example she has paranoid idea that something is wrong with her teeth -

> the best it would be to take her to the dentist to calm her down. I told him

> she was at the same dentist thousant times and that he said to me that

> everything is in her head that she has no real troubles. And she has

> paranoid idea that something is wrong with some of the documents for the

> house ( not thruth) so lets take her to a city hall to talk with everybody

> there so she would calm down. ( she already was there and I know that there

> is no serious problem with that) When I told him that I won't drop anything

> to feed her obsessions ( not to mention my really crazy work schedule) he

> asked me ( with accusing look) " So you do have time to do it but you don't

> want to do it because you have emotional problems with that ( meaning beeing

> stubborn) !!!! WTF!!????

>

> And the answer on my question what they will do with her BPD diagnose ( I

> asked him to consider it when they are working with her) - he is planing to

> make another evaluation. (HS!!) He probably doesn't believe that BPD exists.

> He would probably changes her diagnose to get rid of me.

>

> Of course I sent him to hell - firmly and politely because I didn't want to

> risk to get some diagnose myself...:-)) I have enough of rigid

> unprofessional psychiatrists who don't know anything really about BPD ( or

> any other personality disorders....) who see solution just in medicaments to

> make zombies out of people so they would make less troubles. I will not

> fight or argue with him it is not worth my energy ( it is like talking to a

> wall- he knows best) and it will not have any positive effects but I'll

> stick to my reality and boundaries with nada.

>

> The good thing is that I don't give a damn. I won't go there, don' t play

> this game. She follows her decisions and she is responsible for the results,

> he follows his decisions and he is responsible for his part of the outcome

> of this situation.. I don't want to take their responsibilities on my back -

> not any more. It was completely ENOUGH!

>

> I'm a bit angy of course. But I'm going to redirect this energy from anger

> to my work and to find some creative souliton how to deal with that - so I

> can do what I think is best and healthily and right and moral and ethically

> and I already have some ideas how I might do that. But just to the limit it

> is ok and right for me to. In other case I'm going to immediately exit this

> " train " - at least until it became save and ok and right for me to - she is

> human being ( even if she is the wicked one) so somehow I can't and I don't

> want to leave her totally.

>

> Yenaine

>

[Guest guest]

PS - that " doctor knows best " attitude, I hate that. It's called

paternalism and it's something we discussed in length in one of my classes.

I had a doctor do that to me and boy it made me mad. (This was before I

knew what it was called). When reading about it & then discussing it in

class, I almost fell out of my chair lol.

Paternalism is awful and I swore to myself that I would never again allow

any medical " professional " treat me that way... because it's not

professional at all.

Mia

PPS - sorry, doctors like that really burn me up. And I'm sure I'll have

more than my fair share to deal with once I pass my state boards lol. But I

have promised myself that I will do the most important thing any nurse can

do... be an advocate for my patients and make sure that they are heard & are

cared for in the way THEY want to be cared for.

Ok, climbing off my pedestal now hehe.

> Can you possibly get a 2nd opinion or a new doctor for her?

>

> I'm a nursing student (and no that doesn't qualify me to give medical

> advice), but we learn that the client is not only the patient, but also

> their family. We learn to help the family members as well, and I really

> feel strongly that this doctor is only feeding your mother's delusional

> beliefs and not helping YOU who is also the client!

>

> I think as BPD survivors we often have a difficult time advocating for

> ourselves. I sure do. Oddly I have no problems advocating for other

> people, but due to the " rules " being different for me all of my life, I have

> a hard time using the same logic/rationale I would for another person on

> myself! It's really something I've had to work on since I'm having medical

> issues myself. And BOY have I had my fair share of AWFUL doctors in the

> past. I feel truly lucky to have finally found some good ones who actually

> care and actually understand my health issues.

>

> I'm not sure what type of facility she is in. I'm not sure if she is at

> this time legally able to make her own decisions, etc, due to her mental

> state? But if it were me, I would request a new doctor.

>

> Just my 2 cents. Refunds welcome =)

>

> Mia

>

[Guest guest]

PS - that " doctor knows best " attitude, I hate that. It's called

paternalism and it's something we discussed in length in one of my classes.

I had a doctor do that to me and boy it made me mad. (This was before I

knew what it was called). When reading about it & then discussing it in

class, I almost fell out of my chair lol.

Paternalism is awful and I swore to myself that I would never again allow

any medical " professional " treat me that way... because it's not

professional at all.

Mia

PPS - sorry, doctors like that really burn me up. And I'm sure I'll have

more than my fair share to deal with once I pass my state boards lol. But I

have promised myself that I will do the most important thing any nurse can

do... be an advocate for my patients and make sure that they are heard & are

cared for in the way THEY want to be cared for.

Ok, climbing off my pedestal now hehe.

> Can you possibly get a 2nd opinion or a new doctor for her?

>

> I'm a nursing student (and no that doesn't qualify me to give medical

> advice), but we learn that the client is not only the patient, but also

> their family. We learn to help the family members as well, and I really

> feel strongly that this doctor is only feeding your mother's delusional

> beliefs and not helping YOU who is also the client!

>

> I think as BPD survivors we often have a difficult time advocating for

> ourselves. I sure do. Oddly I have no problems advocating for other

> people, but due to the " rules " being different for me all of my life, I have

> a hard time using the same logic/rationale I would for another person on

> myself! It's really something I've had to work on since I'm having medical

> issues myself. And BOY have I had my fair share of AWFUL doctors in the

> past. I feel truly lucky to have finally found some good ones who actually

> care and actually understand my health issues.

>

> I'm not sure what type of facility she is in. I'm not sure if she is at

> this time legally able to make her own decisions, etc, due to her mental

> state? But if it were me, I would request a new doctor.

>

> Just my 2 cents. Refunds welcome =)

>

> Mia

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, the OCPD sounds very familiar. My nada was very very unproductive. She

would work 16 hours and not accomplish a single task except for making a big

mess. She had to do everything in a very specific order and way - as if

there were a right or wrong way to do totally ordinary, simple things, like

changing a kitty litter box (not that she ever did that, it was beneath her,

but you get the idea). Here's 2 examples:

1) Baking cookies. She stopped baking cookies by the time I was about 6

years old. Though its interesting to me that since I was about 5 I've been

perfectly capable of baking cookies by myself - so I guess I did learn

something. It kills me when I'm around friends who can't bake cookies,

prepare a meal, do all the things i've been doing since preschool. I know

I'm the weird one not them but it is so strange to me. Anyway, so first of

all, nada couldn't just make 1 or 2 batches of cookies. It had to be an all

day project. Like 6 dozen cookies or none. Then she claimed she was allergic

to flour. So she would get a huge flour sack dishtowel and tie it across her

face. She would then very compulsively follow specific steps to sift and

prepare the flour, mix the dry ingredients etc, with the towel over her face

almost the entire time. Eventually I think I just started taking care of it.

It was painful to watch.

2) Driving. Nada lived in a fairly small town. Yet she refused to ever make

a left turn. So imagine how long it took to get places. I believe she would

occaisionally turn left at a stop light, but never ever ever if she had to

look both ways and decide when to go. So you are driving along and you have

to go around the block over and over and over until you have gone full

circle and avoided the left turn. DUDE!!! It wasn't even a high traffic

town. And the funny thing is she loved to be the one to drive but everyone

hated riding with her.

So yeah, I think OCPD with a liberal dose of narcisism and hoarding behavior

fits the bill.

>

>

> PS - that " doctor knows best " attitude, I hate that. It's called

> paternalism and it's something we discussed in length in one of my classes.

> I had a doctor do that to me and boy it made me mad. (This was before I

> knew what it was called). When reading about it & then discussing it in

> class, I almost fell out of my chair lol.

>

> Paternalism is awful and I swore to myself that I would never again allow

> any medical " professional " treat me that way... because it's not

> professional at all.

>

> Mia

>

> PPS - sorry, doctors like that really burn me up. And I'm sure I'll have

> more than my fair share to deal with once I pass my state boards lol. But I

> have promised myself that I will do the most important thing any nurse can

> do... be an advocate for my patients and make sure that they are heard &

> are

> cared for in the way THEY want to be cared for.

>

> Ok, climbing off my pedestal now hehe.

>

> On Fri, Dec 31, 2010 at 2:28 AM, Justi3

<zobimia@...<zobimia%40gmail.com>>

> wrote:

>

> > Can you possibly get a 2nd opinion or a new doctor for her?

> >

> > I'm a nursing student (and no that doesn't qualify me to give medical

> > advice), but we learn that the client is not only the patient, but also

> > their family. We learn to help the family members as well, and I really

> > feel strongly that this doctor is only feeding your mother's delusional

> > beliefs and not helping YOU who is also the client!

> >

> > I think as BPD survivors we often have a difficult time advocating for

> > ourselves. I sure do. Oddly I have no problems advocating for other

> > people, but due to the " rules " being different for me all of my life, I

> have

> > a hard time using the same logic/rationale I would for another person on

> > myself! It's really something I've had to work on since I'm having

> medical

> > issues myself. And BOY have I had my fair share of AWFUL doctors in the

> > past. I feel truly lucky to have finally found some good ones who

> actually

> > care and actually understand my health issues.

> >

> > I'm not sure what type of facility she is in. I'm not sure if she is at

> > this time legally able to make her own decisions, etc, due to her mental

> > state? But if it were me, I would request a new doctor.

> >

> > Just my 2 cents. Refunds welcome =)

> >

> > Mia

>

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, the OCPD sounds very familiar. My nada was very very unproductive. She

would work 16 hours and not accomplish a single task except for making a big

mess. She had to do everything in a very specific order and way - as if

there were a right or wrong way to do totally ordinary, simple things, like

changing a kitty litter box (not that she ever did that, it was beneath her,

but you get the idea). Here's 2 examples:

1) Baking cookies. She stopped baking cookies by the time I was about 6

years old. Though its interesting to me that since I was about 5 I've been

perfectly capable of baking cookies by myself - so I guess I did learn

something. It kills me when I'm around friends who can't bake cookies,

prepare a meal, do all the things i've been doing since preschool. I know

I'm the weird one not them but it is so strange to me. Anyway, so first of

all, nada couldn't just make 1 or 2 batches of cookies. It had to be an all

day project. Like 6 dozen cookies or none. Then she claimed she was allergic

to flour. So she would get a huge flour sack dishtowel and tie it across her

face. She would then very compulsively follow specific steps to sift and

prepare the flour, mix the dry ingredients etc, with the towel over her face

almost the entire time. Eventually I think I just started taking care of it.

It was painful to watch.

2) Driving. Nada lived in a fairly small town. Yet she refused to ever make

a left turn. So imagine how long it took to get places. I believe she would

occaisionally turn left at a stop light, but never ever ever if she had to

look both ways and decide when to go. So you are driving along and you have

to go around the block over and over and over until you have gone full

circle and avoided the left turn. DUDE!!! It wasn't even a high traffic

town. And the funny thing is she loved to be the one to drive but everyone

hated riding with her.

So yeah, I think OCPD with a liberal dose of narcisism and hoarding behavior

fits the bill.

>

>

> PS - that " doctor knows best " attitude, I hate that. It's called

> paternalism and it's something we discussed in length in one of my classes.

> I had a doctor do that to me and boy it made me mad. (This was before I

> knew what it was called). When reading about it & then discussing it in

> class, I almost fell out of my chair lol.

>

> Paternalism is awful and I swore to myself that I would never again allow

> any medical " professional " treat me that way... because it's not

> professional at all.

>

> Mia

>

> PPS - sorry, doctors like that really burn me up. And I'm sure I'll have

> more than my fair share to deal with once I pass my state boards lol. But I

> have promised myself that I will do the most important thing any nurse can

> do... be an advocate for my patients and make sure that they are heard &

> are

> cared for in the way THEY want to be cared for.

>

> Ok, climbing off my pedestal now hehe.

>

> On Fri, Dec 31, 2010 at 2:28 AM, Justi3

<zobimia@...<zobimia%40gmail.com>>

> wrote:

>

> > Can you possibly get a 2nd opinion or a new doctor for her?

> >

> > I'm a nursing student (and no that doesn't qualify me to give medical

> > advice), but we learn that the client is not only the patient, but also

> > their family. We learn to help the family members as well, and I really

> > feel strongly that this doctor is only feeding your mother's delusional

> > beliefs and not helping YOU who is also the client!

> >

> > I think as BPD survivors we often have a difficult time advocating for

> > ourselves. I sure do. Oddly I have no problems advocating for other

> > people, but due to the " rules " being different for me all of my life, I

> have

> > a hard time using the same logic/rationale I would for another person on

> > myself! It's really something I've had to work on since I'm having

> medical

> > issues myself. And BOY have I had my fair share of AWFUL doctors in the

> > past. I feel truly lucky to have finally found some good ones who

> actually

> > care and actually understand my health issues.

> >

> > I'm not sure what type of facility she is in. I'm not sure if she is at

> > this time legally able to make her own decisions, etc, due to her mental

> > state? But if it were me, I would request a new doctor.

> >

> > Just my 2 cents. Refunds welcome =)

> >

> > Mia

>

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, the OCPD sounds very familiar. My nada was very very unproductive. She

would work 16 hours and not accomplish a single task except for making a big

mess. She had to do everything in a very specific order and way - as if

there were a right or wrong way to do totally ordinary, simple things, like

changing a kitty litter box (not that she ever did that, it was beneath her,

but you get the idea). Here's 2 examples:

1) Baking cookies. She stopped baking cookies by the time I was about 6

years old. Though its interesting to me that since I was about 5 I've been

perfectly capable of baking cookies by myself - so I guess I did learn

something. It kills me when I'm around friends who can't bake cookies,

prepare a meal, do all the things i've been doing since preschool. I know

I'm the weird one not them but it is so strange to me. Anyway, so first of

all, nada couldn't just make 1 or 2 batches of cookies. It had to be an all

day project. Like 6 dozen cookies or none. Then she claimed she was allergic

to flour. So she would get a huge flour sack dishtowel and tie it across her

face. She would then very compulsively follow specific steps to sift and

prepare the flour, mix the dry ingredients etc, with the towel over her face

almost the entire time. Eventually I think I just started taking care of it.

It was painful to watch.

2) Driving. Nada lived in a fairly small town. Yet she refused to ever make

a left turn. So imagine how long it took to get places. I believe she would

occaisionally turn left at a stop light, but never ever ever if she had to

look both ways and decide when to go. So you are driving along and you have

to go around the block over and over and over until you have gone full

circle and avoided the left turn. DUDE!!! It wasn't even a high traffic

town. And the funny thing is she loved to be the one to drive but everyone

hated riding with her.

So yeah, I think OCPD with a liberal dose of narcisism and hoarding behavior

fits the bill.

>

>

> PS - that " doctor knows best " attitude, I hate that. It's called

> paternalism and it's something we discussed in length in one of my classes.

> I had a doctor do that to me and boy it made me mad. (This was before I

> knew what it was called). When reading about it & then discussing it in

> class, I almost fell out of my chair lol.

>

> Paternalism is awful and I swore to myself that I would never again allow

> any medical " professional " treat me that way... because it's not

> professional at all.

>

> Mia

>

> PPS - sorry, doctors like that really burn me up. And I'm sure I'll have

> more than my fair share to deal with once I pass my state boards lol. But I

> have promised myself that I will do the most important thing any nurse can

> do... be an advocate for my patients and make sure that they are heard &

> are

> cared for in the way THEY want to be cared for.

>

> Ok, climbing off my pedestal now hehe.

>

> On Fri, Dec 31, 2010 at 2:28 AM, Justi3

<zobimia@...<zobimia%40gmail.com>>

> wrote:

>

> > Can you possibly get a 2nd opinion or a new doctor for her?

> >

> > I'm a nursing student (and no that doesn't qualify me to give medical

> > advice), but we learn that the client is not only the patient, but also

> > their family. We learn to help the family members as well, and I really

> > feel strongly that this doctor is only feeding your mother's delusional

> > beliefs and not helping YOU who is also the client!

> >

> > I think as BPD survivors we often have a difficult time advocating for

> > ourselves. I sure do. Oddly I have no problems advocating for other

> > people, but due to the " rules " being different for me all of my life, I

> have

> > a hard time using the same logic/rationale I would for another person on

> > myself! It's really something I've had to work on since I'm having

> medical

> > issues myself. And BOY have I had my fair share of AWFUL doctors in the

> > past. I feel truly lucky to have finally found some good ones who

> actually

> > care and actually understand my health issues.

> >

> > I'm not sure what type of facility she is in. I'm not sure if she is at

> > this time legally able to make her own decisions, etc, due to her mental

> > state? But if it were me, I would request a new doctor.

> >

> > Just my 2 cents. Refunds welcome =)

> >

> > Mia

>

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is interesting. My nada may also have some OCPD issues going on, but

not on the side of hoarding. I guess I tend to forget that hoarding is a

type of OCPD behavior. I knew a woman who hoarded and was trying to get

help for it, but she didn't ever strike me as BPD though. But could there

be overlap? Absolutely! And now you've got me thinking lol.

My nada was VERY neat. She would get really ticked off if I had anything on

my floor that didn't belong, including a pair of socks. What teenager

doesn't have dirty clothes on the floor at some point? Well, I know one who

rarely did! lol.

Things also had very specific places they were stored in the house. I think

that has carried over into me. My brother in laws will put things in what I

think is odd places when they put the dishes away. It drives me a little

batty! I'll try to tell them nicely " You know, the kitchen scissors live

here " and show them LOL. But they either don't care, forget, or do it just

to bug me haha. And trust me, it's way more than just scissors. I've

found plates & cups in the cabinet where we keep the plastic storage

containers. That just makes me want to *facepalm*

But maybe nada had a touch of OCPD too? I can't say for sure... but I do

remember her cleaning rampages. Most people say " I went on a cleaning spree

today " or something along those lines. My nada would go into a RAMPAGE! I

have no idea what would trigger her to start so angrily cleaning at such

strange hours like 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday... but yep! I can't

tell you how many Saturday mornings I was woken up pretty early (like 6am to

8am) by her vacuuming... and not just running the vacuum.. but BASHING the

damn thing into my closed bedroom door over & over & over. She wasn't happy

unless everyone was up & miserable & cleaning.. and even then she wasn't

happy lol. There was no pleasing that woman. And sometimes I'd just stay

in bed awake to avoid dealing with her because I KNEW she was going to be

way more awful than usual on the days I woke up to the vacuum bashing. That

didn't help either to be honest. What's a kid to do? It was a lose-lose

situation.

I have mentioned the vacuuming thing to people before and we always laugh

because it's so darn strange! But I guess I don't know enough about OCD to

have considered maybe she had a touch of it? I honestly don't know... but

yes, there was a lot of anger with her & FOG with me when it came to

cleaning and things had to be done just right.

Also, I find the driving thing with your nada really funny... I know it must

have been awful to drive with her, but it sounds so like my grandnada. She

was infamous for going strange routes for not wanting to make a left turn. I

hated being in the car with her, but I always atributed it to her just being

old? I know that sounds awful but I was young. She moved out of state

before I was old enough to drive and then moved back (right across the

street from nada... boy that was ugly) after I was married. So when she did

come back, she just wouldn't drive unless she absolutely had to. She

insisted that nada & I take her to every doctor's appointment, grocery

shopping, etc. She would also sit at her front window from 5:15 until my

nada got home from work. Grandnada told me this. I asked her why and she

said because she wanted to make sure my nada got home safe. I have to say,

looking back at it now it's kind of funny & ironic to me. Because when

grandnada moved across the street from nada... it was hell for nada! She

HATED it sooooooo much. Grandnada only lived there for maybe a year or two

before moving back out of state. Nada was so happy.

Sorry, I'm rambling, but I thought about those things reading your post lol.

Weird how that happens.

Mia

On Fri, Dec 31, 2010 at 7:55 AM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> Yes, the OCPD sounds very familiar. My nada was very very unproductive. She

> would work 16 hours and not accomplish a single task except for making a

> big

> mess. She had to do everything in a very specific order and way - as if

> there were a right or wrong way to do totally ordinary, simple things, like

> changing a kitty litter box (not that she ever did that, it was beneath

> her,

> but you get the idea). Here's 2 examples:

>

> 1) Baking cookies. She stopped baking cookies by the time I was about 6

> years old. Though its interesting to me that since I was about 5 I've been

> perfectly capable of baking cookies by myself - so I guess I did learn

> something. It kills me when I'm around friends who can't bake cookies,

> prepare a meal, do all the things i've been doing since preschool. I know

> I'm the weird one not them but it is so strange to me. Anyway, so first of

> all, nada couldn't just make 1 or 2 batches of cookies. It had to be an all

> day project. Like 6 dozen cookies or none. Then she claimed she was

> allergic

> to flour. So she would get a huge flour sack dishtowel and tie it across

> her

> face. She would then very compulsively follow specific steps to sift and

> prepare the flour, mix the dry ingredients etc, with the towel over her

> face

> almost the entire time. Eventually I think I just started taking care of

> it.

> It was painful to watch.

>

> 2) Driving. Nada lived in a fairly small town. Yet she refused to ever make

> a left turn. So imagine how long it took to get places. I believe she would

> occaisionally turn left at a stop light, but never ever ever if she had to

> look both ways and decide when to go. So you are driving along and you have

> to go around the block over and over and over until you have gone full

> circle and avoided the left turn. DUDE!!! It wasn't even a high traffic

> town. And the funny thing is she loved to be the one to drive but everyone

> hated riding with her.

>

> So yeah, I think OCPD with a liberal dose of narcisism and hoarding

> behavior

> fits the bill.

>

[Guest guest]

That is interesting. My nada may also have some OCPD issues going on, but

not on the side of hoarding. I guess I tend to forget that hoarding is a

type of OCPD behavior. I knew a woman who hoarded and was trying to get

help for it, but she didn't ever strike me as BPD though. But could there

be overlap? Absolutely! And now you've got me thinking lol.

My nada was VERY neat. She would get really ticked off if I had anything on

my floor that didn't belong, including a pair of socks. What teenager

doesn't have dirty clothes on the floor at some point? Well, I know one who

rarely did! lol.

Things also had very specific places they were stored in the house. I think

that has carried over into me. My brother in laws will put things in what I

think is odd places when they put the dishes away. It drives me a little

batty! I'll try to tell them nicely " You know, the kitchen scissors live

here " and show them LOL. But they either don't care, forget, or do it just

to bug me haha. And trust me, it's way more than just scissors. I've

found plates & cups in the cabinet where we keep the plastic storage

containers. That just makes me want to *facepalm*

But maybe nada had a touch of OCPD too? I can't say for sure... but I do

remember her cleaning rampages. Most people say " I went on a cleaning spree

today " or something along those lines. My nada would go into a RAMPAGE! I

have no idea what would trigger her to start so angrily cleaning at such

strange hours like 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday... but yep! I can't

tell you how many Saturday mornings I was woken up pretty early (like 6am to

8am) by her vacuuming... and not just running the vacuum.. but BASHING the

damn thing into my closed bedroom door over & over & over. She wasn't happy

unless everyone was up & miserable & cleaning.. and even then she wasn't

happy lol. There was no pleasing that woman. And sometimes I'd just stay

in bed awake to avoid dealing with her because I KNEW she was going to be

way more awful than usual on the days I woke up to the vacuum bashing. That

didn't help either to be honest. What's a kid to do? It was a lose-lose

situation.

I have mentioned the vacuuming thing to people before and we always laugh

because it's so darn strange! But I guess I don't know enough about OCD to

have considered maybe she had a touch of it? I honestly don't know... but

yes, there was a lot of anger with her & FOG with me when it came to

cleaning and things had to be done just right.

Also, I find the driving thing with your nada really funny... I know it must

have been awful to drive with her, but it sounds so like my grandnada. She

was infamous for going strange routes for not wanting to make a left turn. I

hated being in the car with her, but I always atributed it to her just being

old? I know that sounds awful but I was young. She moved out of state

before I was old enough to drive and then moved back (right across the

street from nada... boy that was ugly) after I was married. So when she did

come back, she just wouldn't drive unless she absolutely had to. She

insisted that nada & I take her to every doctor's appointment, grocery

shopping, etc. She would also sit at her front window from 5:15 until my

nada got home from work. Grandnada told me this. I asked her why and she

said because she wanted to make sure my nada got home safe. I have to say,

looking back at it now it's kind of funny & ironic to me. Because when

grandnada moved across the street from nada... it was hell for nada! She

HATED it sooooooo much. Grandnada only lived there for maybe a year or two

before moving back out of state. Nada was so happy.

Sorry, I'm rambling, but I thought about those things reading your post lol.

Weird how that happens.

Mia

On Fri, Dec 31, 2010 at 7:55 AM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> Yes, the OCPD sounds very familiar. My nada was very very unproductive. She

> would work 16 hours and not accomplish a single task except for making a

> big

> mess. She had to do everything in a very specific order and way - as if

> there were a right or wrong way to do totally ordinary, simple things, like

> changing a kitty litter box (not that she ever did that, it was beneath

> her,

> but you get the idea). Here's 2 examples:

>

> 1) Baking cookies. She stopped baking cookies by the time I was about 6

> years old. Though its interesting to me that since I was about 5 I've been

> perfectly capable of baking cookies by myself - so I guess I did learn

> something. It kills me when I'm around friends who can't bake cookies,

> prepare a meal, do all the things i've been doing since preschool. I know

> I'm the weird one not them but it is so strange to me. Anyway, so first of

> all, nada couldn't just make 1 or 2 batches of cookies. It had to be an all

> day project. Like 6 dozen cookies or none. Then she claimed she was

> allergic

> to flour. So she would get a huge flour sack dishtowel and tie it across

> her

> face. She would then very compulsively follow specific steps to sift and

> prepare the flour, mix the dry ingredients etc, with the towel over her

> face

> almost the entire time. Eventually I think I just started taking care of

> it.

> It was painful to watch.

>

> 2) Driving. Nada lived in a fairly small town. Yet she refused to ever make

> a left turn. So imagine how long it took to get places. I believe she would

> occaisionally turn left at a stop light, but never ever ever if she had to

> look both ways and decide when to go. So you are driving along and you have

> to go around the block over and over and over until you have gone full

> circle and avoided the left turn. DUDE!!! It wasn't even a high traffic

> town. And the funny thing is she loved to be the one to drive but everyone

> hated riding with her.

>

> So yeah, I think OCPD with a liberal dose of narcisism and hoarding

> behavior

> fits the bill.

>

[Guest guest]

That is interesting. My nada may also have some OCPD issues going on, but

not on the side of hoarding. I guess I tend to forget that hoarding is a

type of OCPD behavior. I knew a woman who hoarded and was trying to get

help for it, but she didn't ever strike me as BPD though. But could there

be overlap? Absolutely! And now you've got me thinking lol.

My nada was VERY neat. She would get really ticked off if I had anything on

my floor that didn't belong, including a pair of socks. What teenager

doesn't have dirty clothes on the floor at some point? Well, I know one who

rarely did! lol.

Things also had very specific places they were stored in the house. I think

that has carried over into me. My brother in laws will put things in what I

think is odd places when they put the dishes away. It drives me a little

batty! I'll try to tell them nicely " You know, the kitchen scissors live

here " and show them LOL. But they either don't care, forget, or do it just

to bug me haha. And trust me, it's way more than just scissors. I've

found plates & cups in the cabinet where we keep the plastic storage

containers. That just makes me want to *facepalm*

But maybe nada had a touch of OCPD too? I can't say for sure... but I do

remember her cleaning rampages. Most people say " I went on a cleaning spree

today " or something along those lines. My nada would go into a RAMPAGE! I

have no idea what would trigger her to start so angrily cleaning at such

strange hours like 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday... but yep! I can't

tell you how many Saturday mornings I was woken up pretty early (like 6am to

8am) by her vacuuming... and not just running the vacuum.. but BASHING the

damn thing into my closed bedroom door over & over & over. She wasn't happy

unless everyone was up & miserable & cleaning.. and even then she wasn't

happy lol. There was no pleasing that woman. And sometimes I'd just stay

in bed awake to avoid dealing with her because I KNEW she was going to be

way more awful than usual on the days I woke up to the vacuum bashing. That

didn't help either to be honest. What's a kid to do? It was a lose-lose

situation.

I have mentioned the vacuuming thing to people before and we always laugh

because it's so darn strange! But I guess I don't know enough about OCD to

have considered maybe she had a touch of it? I honestly don't know... but

yes, there was a lot of anger with her & FOG with me when it came to

cleaning and things had to be done just right.

Also, I find the driving thing with your nada really funny... I know it must

have been awful to drive with her, but it sounds so like my grandnada. She

was infamous for going strange routes for not wanting to make a left turn. I

hated being in the car with her, but I always atributed it to her just being

old? I know that sounds awful but I was young. She moved out of state

before I was old enough to drive and then moved back (right across the

street from nada... boy that was ugly) after I was married. So when she did

come back, she just wouldn't drive unless she absolutely had to. She

insisted that nada & I take her to every doctor's appointment, grocery

shopping, etc. She would also sit at her front window from 5:15 until my

nada got home from work. Grandnada told me this. I asked her why and she

said because she wanted to make sure my nada got home safe. I have to say,

looking back at it now it's kind of funny & ironic to me. Because when

grandnada moved across the street from nada... it was hell for nada! She

HATED it sooooooo much. Grandnada only lived there for maybe a year or two

before moving back out of state. Nada was so happy.

Sorry, I'm rambling, but I thought about those things reading your post lol.

Weird how that happens.

Mia

On Fri, Dec 31, 2010 at 7:55 AM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> Yes, the OCPD sounds very familiar. My nada was very very unproductive. She

> would work 16 hours and not accomplish a single task except for making a

> big

> mess. She had to do everything in a very specific order and way - as if

> there were a right or wrong way to do totally ordinary, simple things, like

> changing a kitty litter box (not that she ever did that, it was beneath

> her,

> but you get the idea). Here's 2 examples:

>

> 1) Baking cookies. She stopped baking cookies by the time I was about 6

> years old. Though its interesting to me that since I was about 5 I've been

> perfectly capable of baking cookies by myself - so I guess I did learn

> something. It kills me when I'm around friends who can't bake cookies,

> prepare a meal, do all the things i've been doing since preschool. I know

> I'm the weird one not them but it is so strange to me. Anyway, so first of

> all, nada couldn't just make 1 or 2 batches of cookies. It had to be an all

> day project. Like 6 dozen cookies or none. Then she claimed she was

> allergic

> to flour. So she would get a huge flour sack dishtowel and tie it across

> her

> face. She would then very compulsively follow specific steps to sift and

> prepare the flour, mix the dry ingredients etc, with the towel over her

> face

> almost the entire time. Eventually I think I just started taking care of

> it.

> It was painful to watch.

>

> 2) Driving. Nada lived in a fairly small town. Yet she refused to ever make

> a left turn. So imagine how long it took to get places. I believe she would

> occaisionally turn left at a stop light, but never ever ever if she had to

> look both ways and decide when to go. So you are driving along and you have

> to go around the block over and over and over until you have gone full

> circle and avoided the left turn. DUDE!!! It wasn't even a high traffic

> town. And the funny thing is she loved to be the one to drive but everyone

> hated riding with her.

>

> So yeah, I think OCPD with a liberal dose of narcisism and hoarding

> behavior

> fits the bill.

>