Re: Re: My Thanksgiving drama-part 2

[Guest guest]

That message is so yuck! I'd stay away from her!

On Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 8:21 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> I think that's a great plan. Seems to me that you've been conditioned to

> accept an incredible amount of verbal abuse and disrespect from your nada,

> so much so that (in my opinion) your ability to determine what is acceptable

> and unacceptable treatment by nada has been skewed and needs to be

> " re-calibrated " , so to speak.

>

> Its sort of like you've been raised in a " cult " , and you're ready to get

> yourself de-programmed from the the cult leader's charismatic but

> destructive hold on you.

>

> My suggestion is to find a therapist who has experience treating the adult

> survivors of personality-disordered parents, or the adult survivors of child

> abuse, or the adult survivors of substance-abusing parents.

>

> A marriage counselor or family therapist probably won't have the right

> training, and their goal for their patients is usually reconciliation with

> each other. I suggest you seek out a psychologist who has training regarding

> severe personality disorders and knowledge of the psychological injuries pds

> do to their kids.

>

> My Sister was lucky; right off the bat she found a psychologist whose own

> mother had been bpd/npd, so he knew exactly what Sister was going through

> and had a lot of empathy and good advice for her. Sometimes you have to look

> around before you settle on the right therapist for you, though; like going

> shopping.

>

> I also suggest that you print out your recent posts RE the " Thanksgiving "

> day incident and take them with you. Those will give your therapist a very

> good picture of your nada's behaviors and how she treats you.

>

> A big thumb's up of approval from me, for deciding to go into therapy and

> for deciding on Low Contact as well. You're taking some great steps toward

> greater safety and peace and healing.

>

> I also suggest that you do not share any of your decisions RE therapy and

> low contact with nada. You just never mention going into therapy, and you

> simply cut back on frequency of contact with nada and stop sharing personal

> information with her. The details of your personal life are not her

> business, and your nada uses information about you to hurt you, so, no more

> sharing.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

>

> > In combination with the way she acted on thanksgiving, and this e-mail, I

> have officially decided to go LC with her. She is no longer even discussing

> the fight on thanksgiving and how I supposedly " ruined " thanksgiving.

> Everything is now my fathers fault.

> >

> > I have also made a decision and I am starting counseling tomorrow, on my

> own.

> >

> > Thoughts on this?

> >

> > -Jade

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ooh yeah agreed. Counseling for yourself (none for nada) and don't respond

to her. Just ignore her. Its fun to ignore them because it drives them

crazy, and yet it is also fun because you don't have to talk to them!!!!

Sorry for your crappy thanksgiving. It took some really negative happenings

(stalking) to get me into counseling, and its the best thing I ever did.

On Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 9:51 PM, Millicent Kunstler <

millicentkunstler@...> wrote:

> That message is so yuck! I'd stay away from her!

>

> On Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 8:21 PM, anuria67854 <anuria-67854@...

> >wrote:

>

> >

> >

> > I think that's a great plan. Seems to me that you've been conditioned to

> > accept an incredible amount of verbal abuse and disrespect from your

> nada,

> > so much so that (in my opinion) your ability to determine what is

> acceptable

> > and unacceptable treatment by nada has been skewed and needs to be

> > " re-calibrated " , so to speak.

> >

> > Its sort of like you've been raised in a " cult " , and you're ready to get

> > yourself de-programmed from the the cult leader's charismatic but

> > destructive hold on you.

> >

> > My suggestion is to find a therapist who has experience treating the

> adult

> > survivors of personality-disordered parents, or the adult survivors of

> child

> > abuse, or the adult survivors of substance-abusing parents.

> >

> > A marriage counselor or family therapist probably won't have the right

> > training, and their goal for their patients is usually reconciliation

> with

> > each other. I suggest you seek out a psychologist who has training

> regarding

> > severe personality disorders and knowledge of the psychological injuries

> pds

> > do to their kids.

> >

> > My Sister was lucky; right off the bat she found a psychologist whose own

> > mother had been bpd/npd, so he knew exactly what Sister was going through

> > and had a lot of empathy and good advice for her. Sometimes you have to

> look

> > around before you settle on the right therapist for you, though; like

> going

> > shopping.

> >

> > I also suggest that you print out your recent posts RE the " Thanksgiving "

> > day incident and take them with you. Those will give your therapist a

> very

> > good picture of your nada's behaviors and how she treats you.

> >

> > A big thumb's up of approval from me, for deciding to go into therapy and

> > for deciding on Low Contact as well. You're taking some great steps

> toward

> > greater safety and peace and healing.

> >

> > I also suggest that you do not share any of your decisions RE therapy and

> > low contact with nada. You just never mention going into therapy, and you

> > simply cut back on frequency of contact with nada and stop sharing

> personal

> > information with her. The details of your personal life are not her

> > business, and your nada uses information about you to hurt you, so, no

> more

> > sharing.

> >

> > -Annie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > > In combination with the way she acted on thanksgiving, and this e-mail,

> I

> > have officially decided to go LC with her. She is no longer even

> discussing

> > the fight on thanksgiving and how I supposedly " ruined " thanksgiving.

> > Everything is now my fathers fault.

> > >

> > > I have also made a decision and I am starting counseling tomorrow, on

> my

> > own.

> > >

> > > Thoughts on this?

> > >

> > > -Jade

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ooh yeah agreed. Counseling for yourself (none for nada) and don't respond

to her. Just ignore her. Its fun to ignore them because it drives them

crazy, and yet it is also fun because you don't have to talk to them!!!!

Sorry for your crappy thanksgiving. It took some really negative happenings

(stalking) to get me into counseling, and its the best thing I ever did.

On Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 9:51 PM, Millicent Kunstler <

millicentkunstler@...> wrote:

> That message is so yuck! I'd stay away from her!

>

> On Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 8:21 PM, anuria67854 <anuria-67854@...

> >wrote:

>

> >

> >

> > I think that's a great plan. Seems to me that you've been conditioned to

> > accept an incredible amount of verbal abuse and disrespect from your

> nada,

> > so much so that (in my opinion) your ability to determine what is

> acceptable

> > and unacceptable treatment by nada has been skewed and needs to be

> > " re-calibrated " , so to speak.

> >

> > Its sort of like you've been raised in a " cult " , and you're ready to get

> > yourself de-programmed from the the cult leader's charismatic but

> > destructive hold on you.

> >

> > My suggestion is to find a therapist who has experience treating the

> adult

> > survivors of personality-disordered parents, or the adult survivors of

> child

> > abuse, or the adult survivors of substance-abusing parents.

> >

> > A marriage counselor or family therapist probably won't have the right

> > training, and their goal for their patients is usually reconciliation

> with

> > each other. I suggest you seek out a psychologist who has training

> regarding

> > severe personality disorders and knowledge of the psychological injuries

> pds

> > do to their kids.

> >

> > My Sister was lucky; right off the bat she found a psychologist whose own

> > mother had been bpd/npd, so he knew exactly what Sister was going through

> > and had a lot of empathy and good advice for her. Sometimes you have to

> look

> > around before you settle on the right therapist for you, though; like

> going

> > shopping.

> >

> > I also suggest that you print out your recent posts RE the " Thanksgiving "

> > day incident and take them with you. Those will give your therapist a

> very

> > good picture of your nada's behaviors and how she treats you.

> >

> > A big thumb's up of approval from me, for deciding to go into therapy and

> > for deciding on Low Contact as well. You're taking some great steps

> toward

> > greater safety and peace and healing.

> >

> > I also suggest that you do not share any of your decisions RE therapy and

> > low contact with nada. You just never mention going into therapy, and you

> > simply cut back on frequency of contact with nada and stop sharing

> personal

> > information with her. The details of your personal life are not her

> > business, and your nada uses information about you to hurt you, so, no

> more

> > sharing.

> >

> > -Annie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > > In combination with the way she acted on thanksgiving, and this e-mail,

> I

> > have officially decided to go LC with her. She is no longer even

> discussing

> > the fight on thanksgiving and how I supposedly " ruined " thanksgiving.

> > Everything is now my fathers fault.

> > >

> > > I have also made a decision and I am starting counseling tomorrow, on

> my

> > own.

> > >

> > > Thoughts on this?

> > >

> > > -Jade

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>