Re: Re: My Thanksgiving drama-part 2

[Guest guest]

That message is so yuck! I'd stay away from her!

On Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 8:21 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> I think that's a great plan. Seems to me that you've been conditioned to

> accept an incredible amount of verbal abuse and disrespect from your nada,

> so much so that (in my opinion) your ability to determine what is acceptable

> and unacceptable treatment by nada has been skewed and needs to be

> " re-calibrated " , so to speak.

>

> Its sort of like you've been raised in a " cult " , and you're ready to get

> yourself de-programmed from the the cult leader's charismatic but

> destructive hold on you.

>

> My suggestion is to find a therapist who has experience treating the adult

> survivors of personality-disordered parents, or the adult survivors of child

> abuse, or the adult survivors of substance-abusing parents.

>

> A marriage counselor or family therapist probably won't have the right

> training, and their goal for their patients is usually reconciliation with

> each other. I suggest you seek out a psychologist who has training regarding

> severe personality disorders and knowledge of the psychological injuries pds

> do to their kids.

>

> My Sister was lucky; right off the bat she found a psychologist whose own

> mother had been bpd/npd, so he knew exactly what Sister was going through

> and had a lot of empathy and good advice for her. Sometimes you have to look

> around before you settle on the right therapist for you, though; like going

> shopping.

>

> I also suggest that you print out your recent posts RE the " Thanksgiving "

> day incident and take them with you. Those will give your therapist a very

> good picture of your nada's behaviors and how she treats you.

>

> A big thumb's up of approval from me, for deciding to go into therapy and

> for deciding on Low Contact as well. You're taking some great steps toward

> greater safety and peace and healing.

>

> I also suggest that you do not share any of your decisions RE therapy and

> low contact with nada. You just never mention going into therapy, and you

> simply cut back on frequency of contact with nada and stop sharing personal

> information with her. The details of your personal life are not her

> business, and your nada uses information about you to hurt you, so, no more

> sharing.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

>

> > In combination with the way she acted on thanksgiving, and this e-mail, I

> have officially decided to go LC with her. She is no longer even discussing

> the fight on thanksgiving and how I supposedly " ruined " thanksgiving.

> Everything is now my fathers fault.

> >

> > I have also made a decision and I am starting counseling tomorrow, on my

> own.

> >

> > Thoughts on this?

> >

> > -Jade

> >

>

>

>