Re: Re: Taking a breath... yoga

[Guest guest]

sanamu, I have found a lot of yoga/exercise dvd's on netflix if you belong.  I went to amazon and it was a dvd but I thought expensive. Although I have never liked much, I got a tape for my VCR at the library for $1.00.  Haven't watched it yet though. Sandy

 

Is that a dvd or a book? I actually love yoga - but, of course, never do it... I did get back in touch with the yoga class in my town (I live in a small town, commute 35 miles every day) and will see about maybe starting next week. Maybe.

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> > So... I threw away some of my M & M's yesterday. Not to forbid them, but to put some space between me and eating until I exploded. I had some in my desk at work where, I'm afraid, I'm less than intuitively connected to myself 8+ hours a day. So, I decided that if I really wanted some, I'd need to commit to that and go out and buy enough for a reasonable portion (?) and if I wanted more, go out and buy that. I don't know if I'll stick to that, but it sounded reasonable. I still have some at home though and am not feeling pulled by them at all. Go figure.

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> > I chose to that in part because I could have eaten a barrel of them and not noticed and because I don't like how I feel when I eat a lot of chocolate - my joints ache and I feel crummy all over. Which watered down any sense of " gain " in the IE plan...

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> > And...I've amended my goal... I'd left out the part about wanting to actually lose weight... Without that being the end game, it is also part of what I am seeking in practicing a more mindful way of eating. Though the whole normal weight goal is something I also need to hold lightly in my mind.

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> > I assume my " normal " weight isn't where I am right now. I'm guessing that in the real scheme of things I'm 40 - 50 pounds overweight - but that might not be true. It might be thirty, it might be twenty, maybe it's sixty. I don't know what I would weigh if I were to no longer eat as a hobby, to avoid my emotions, when I'm full, out of defiance or because I'm bored/lonely or simply saw something and stuffed it in my mouth (ordered it from the menu) before even thinking about my body.

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> > I'm reading IE, looking at the guidelines, and trying not to make that all too " ruley " . I get very rule-bound and then my defiance kicks in and I'm off and running. When did this all become so crazy and when did I get so tossed around by food thoughts?! Doesn't matter, the answers are actually obvious and I guess the real reason for that question is that I wish I could just rule my body into the shape I want it because that's the world we live in.

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> > My mom was a " willpower freak " - she could will herself into anything. Always on a diet, always maintained a low weight. Wound up with terrible, terrible osteoporosis which may have been part of her living on coffee all day rather than food. But who knows? Anyway, reframing my willpower to willingness is, I guess, the goal du jour.

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> > By the way, I dread going to the gym like the plague. Joined our local health club one year ago - and haven't stepped through the doors since. If I could wear a birka, I might start. But being fat and waddling on the tread mill next to some jock is my version of hell on Earth. I try to walk most days and when I do my feet and ankles are inevitably sore the next morning. Blah, blah, blah... it's all about body hatred. And a lifetime of bad messages and a lifetime of couchpotatoness. So... A yoga class started in town tonight and I wanted to go, sort of, and didn't. I can't say why for sure except that's what I do - plan things and then opt out.

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> > That is my progress for today...

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> > I'm taking a breath before dinner and will eat soon as if I don't it will be too late. I'm just waiting to see what feels/seems right as I have a refrigerator full of choices, none of which are calling to me but they're all waiting for me to either eat them or toss them out. Isn't that awful though?

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