Re: BPD destroying relationships

[Guest guest]

Wow, sounds exactly like my nada.

Mine wouldn't let me have anything to do with anyone on either side of the

family. So, I grew up not knowing my family because of all the lies she told

about them. As I am getting to know them now, I am finding out what really

happened, she treated them all like dog shit. Since I was an only child (I was

either no-good or perfect, depended on the nanosecond we where in)she always

tried to turn my father and i against each other. Now, my father and I are very

close.

Because I never learned any tools about working things out, or learned what a

healthy relationship was, I had numerous relationships with guys who treated me

terrible (my fiance OF COURSE is excluded in this).

The kicker was, she always told me how terrible/stupid/ugly/fat I was, and that

I wasn't going anywhere in life. Then, she would turn around and ridicule me

about dating guys who talked to me like this, and treated me like this. In

fact, I am pretty sure that 2 of my exs were indeed borderlines. I only

recently realized that the reason I stayed in relationships like this, and used

to be attracted to men who treated me like this, was because was of what she

taught me I deserved.

Luckily, since then, I have completely changed my image of myself, and I am

engaged to a wonderful man who really does treat me wonderfully. The tools that

I learned to work things out, where tools that I observed in healthy families,

and working them out with my counselor.

-Jade