Re: Nada's Reaction to Me Having An Accident

November 29, 2010

I'm sorry to read that you injured your knee, those are really painful injuries

and aggravating as well. I recently recovered from a similar knee injury that I

got back over the Labor Day weekend, so it took about 8 weeks to get back to

normal. I apparently didn't tear or dislocate anything, it just gradually got

better on its own. Rent crutches if you can, those helped me a lot, and avoid

stairs if possible.

Yes, its kind of common for nadas to " one up " others RE injuries or illnesses.

Its a narcissistic trait. Nada's pains are always so, so much worse, etc. Its

a way of getting all the attention and sympathy focused back on herself; nadas

are greedy for attention.

I can't help but wonder why you're willing to let your nada call you and

verbally abuse you 6 times a day? That sounds very stress-inducing to me.

-Annie

>

> I slipped and fell in the tub Friday afternoon on the very slippery tub. I

used a new conditioner for my hair and apparently it made the tub like a skating

rink. I've never fallen in that deep tub at the apartment here before! Anyway

I did a " Kermit the Frog " and my knees went bow legged and my legs went straight

out on either side of me. I tried unsuccessfully to get up and started shaking

all over with the water streaming down on me. I was afraid I broke something!

I pulled myself up on the tub, turned off the European shower head and within a

few minutes managed to push myself onto the commode as I was shaking too much to

stand up.

>

> My friend Sue was coming over and thank God she was but when I didn't answer

the door, she called me on her cell and when I didn't answer, she panicked. I

managed to hobble over to the door and unlock it but was very shaky still and it

hurt to put any weight on my right leg. I plopped into the wing chair nearest

the door and finally after about an hour she said I should 'try to stand up and

force yourself to walk'. I didn't do so well and was about to call 911 but

decided against it as I don't have insurance - can't afford it. She gave me

Ibuprofen and the pain started to decrease a bit but my leg to the left of the

knee was all swollen. Later that night I was able to stand up and walk even if

it was stiffly. Sue stayed with me and couldn't have been better to me. I'm

much better now and I know I'm just bruised and might have pulled some muscles

as they are still stiff but I am walking a bit stiffly but no more shakiness or

any other problem with it.

>

> Nada happened to call for the sixth time that day to tell me HER tales of woe

(same tale over and over and over) and asked for once how I was. I told her I

had had an accident and briefly what happened. Her response?! " I fall every

DAY and no one cares about me! I have it worse than you do! You only fell

ONCE! Big deal! Grow up and don't look for sympathy because you're not going

to get any. "

>

> Do any of you experience the same thing with your nadas?

>

November 29, 2010

First of all.....ooowwwiiiee!!!! You poor thing! I hope that you are feeling

better soon! That sounds horrible! I actually had trouble reading your post

because it was almost like I could feel your pain! It is like when someone gets

burned, it hurts just to look at it.

What your nada did was add insult to injury. My nada has done that before.

This past summer, I was really sick. I had a really bad reaction to a

antibiotic I was taking, and basically, I was constantly sick. If I wasn't

throwing up, I couldn't leave the bathroom. It was so bad, I was getting sick 3

or 4 times per hour for about 3 days. After the 3rd day, I woke up in the

middle of the night in an EXTREME amount of pain. I called the doctor's office

and they told me that I should go to the emergency room. My nada's first

response was: " No, because that will be about $100 and I am not spending the

money on her! " As she said this, I was lying on the floor, literally, withering

in pain.

The next day, I went to the doctor's office and my dr. said that I needed at

least a week off of work to recover. My nada responded to this by saying: " What

did you make up to get a week off work? "

Of course, when my mother gets a headache, she uses it as an excuse to not talk

to me or my father, and lies on the couch all day crying.

Nadas suck.

-Jade

December 1, 2010

Oh my gosh, Libra, I had to laugh at (more " with " ) your question!

First of all, though, how are you? A shower/tub fall is very scary!!

I experience this every time my mother and I have a conversation of any length.

My brother and I used to call it " air time. " " How much airtime did your story

get?? " We would compete to see who got more airtime with her--because HER

stories/experiences/catastrophic events are ALWAYS more fascinating, more

tragic, and more catastrophic than ANYthing that could happen to us.

If I start to tell her about my work week, which is hardly ever, I know I have

to get my story done in about 45 seconds or less, because she will start talking

about her work week and, same as your mother, it's the same story/set of

characters/situations as the day before.

it's sad, isn't it, that your mother had no sympathy? And at her age, and my

mother's age, we're likely not to get any of that! I try not to share any more

with her about things that happen to me, and yet sometimes I still tell myself

" maybe THIS time, she'll care and affirm me. " I should know she's not going to

say anything constructive, she's going to catastrophize and ask me about the

same thing over and over and over, and she's going to remind me what a klutz or

failure I am in her special way.

it's just not worth it.

Hope you're feeling better!!