BPD destroying relationships

[Guest guest]

My mother used to tell me all sorts of lies about ourr family. Like, for

instance, she never let me or my sister have a relationship with anyone on my

dad's side of the family. She did this under the guise of " protecting " us from

them. She claimed that my dad's family hated us and that they made comments

about how they never wanted to be around us (me and my sister). My dad claims

now that my mom is dead that it was all untrue. She easily kept up the lie

because my dad's family lived in Indiana and we lived in Florida. She forbid my

dad to go home to his family at all.

She even caused division between me and my sister...talking bad about one of us

to the other. She caused division between us with her brother and his wife too

and they were apparently not smart enough to see what she was doing and now

don't speak to me or my sister.

I just wonder how many relationships or potential relationships my mother ruined

in my life. She ran off friends. She would not get along with parents of my

friends and then forbid me to play with the kids.

My sister and I were talking the other day and discussed how my mother's all or

nothing/black and white thinking gave us NO tools to work out relationships or

to know what to do when we were in a precarious relationship. It's just

another thing I never learned to do was to handle friendships and it has caused

me a lot of heartache in my life.