Emotional Stress Response

[Guest guest]

I'm new and am so glad to find this site. My mother is the BP in my life.

Looking back, she's always been that way compounded with being an alcoholic and

prescription pain medication addict. Trying to win her love forever, I sent her

money, I bailed her out and rescued her over and over again. It got to the

point that I would just get messages from her drunk stating, " send a check for

$200 to... " No hi, no hello, nothing. I found my way to Al-Anon and fixed

that. After a 30 day stint in my home in which boundaries were made crystal

clear, she verbally abused me and my kids. I couldn't get older adult services

to time a visit just right (realizing her issues were way beyond my capability

to deal with) and I just flat out told her she could no longer stay on day 30 of

our agreed to visit. 100's of vulgar, insulting and soul-wrenching criticizing

calls later along with threatening to rig a story to have my children taken from

me or picked up from school by her, I won a restraining order. I had to change

my phone numbers and move. You can only imagine the rage this put her in...and

your imagination would not even come close.

It's been peaceful now for 3 years. I went through post-traumatic stress-like

symptoms for two years. I was never emotionally safe when she had contact with

me. I had just gotten out of therapy this year and she some how managed to find

my cell phone number and it only took 6 vile, vulgar and vengeful text messages

to throw me right back into the state I was in 3 years ago. I have great coping

skills but man does it hurt still. I'm going to go back to counseling. I read

the book Stop Walking on Eggshells. It was really helpful. For me, however,

mom's emotional and verbal abuse - yes, outright abuse - will not be tolerated

and I refuse to work at maintaining a relationship with her while she's drinking

and not involved in psychological therapy. My mom is flat out, out to get me.

She's told me about all the false charges she has filed with the authorities.

She has told them my exhusband and I abused her, beat her up and she's got

medical records to prove it, that I abused her on a daily basis - this she told

my ex and my then 8 year old daughter. She was so confused as she only saw

grandma causing trouble for mommy. Oh goodness it was bad.

I hate how one traumatic event brings back the pain of all traumatic emotional

events. I know in time this will pass, I just have to work harder at protecting

my phone number and address. No one in my family has it now. How sad is that?

UGH. Well, thanks for reading if you've read this far. I'm looking forward to

talking and getting to know the fellow posters here.

Many blessings to you all.

Jaie