Guest guest Posted December 22, 2010 Report Share Posted December 22, 2010 Yeah, I felt invisible for years and years. To the point that it was disconcerting to me if someone met me and then remembered me later. > > > I am trying very hard to feel visible. > I had been the target of my mom's obsessions for so long and always wished > I could be invisible, under her intense unforgiving radar....and ironically, > I feel so invisible now when I don't want to be. > > I hate feeling isolated...even though I'm really not. > I have a very full house of people, and I still feel alone...I hate that. > > I know that after the holidays and new years', I will feel better. > With all the hype about being together with the family around the holidays, > I feel like it's a big party that I was not invited to. > > Never in a million years would I have thought that my entire family would > disintegrate into non-existence. > > I hate wishing away time, but I wish it were Jan 2. > > Amy (please check out my website dedicated to helping myself and others > from this pain...at ThePASS.Me Thanks.) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2010 Report Share Posted December 22, 2010 Girlscout, do you still feel invisible? Re: invisible Yeah, I felt invisible for years and years. To the point that it was disconcerting to me if someone met me and then remembered me later. > > > I am trying very hard to feel visible. > I had been the target of my mom's obsessions for so long and always wished > I could be invisible, under her intense unforgiving radar....and ironically, > I feel so invisible now when I don't want to be. > > I hate feeling isolated...even though I'm really not. > I have a very full house of people, and I still feel alone...I hate that. > > I know that after the holidays and new years', I will feel better. > With all the hype about being together with the family around the holidays, > I feel like it's a big party that I was not invited to. > > Never in a million years would I have thought that my entire family would > disintegrate into non-existence. > > I hate wishing away time, but I wish it were Jan 2. > > Amy (please check out my website dedicated to helping myself and others > from this pain...at ThePASS.Me Thanks.) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2010 Report Share Posted December 23, 2010 I find this very interesting, this feeling of invisibility. I have felt that way before, driving around town and I remember one time thinking " this guy waited for me to go, that proves I am visible! " How weird is that? I wonder what this is about! Anybody has a clue? Del > > > > > > > > > > > I am trying very hard to feel visible. > > > I had been the target of my mom's obsessions for so long and always > > wished > > > I could be invisible, under her intense unforgiving radar....and > > ironically, > > > I feel so invisible now when I don't want to be. > > > > > > I hate feeling isolated...even though I'm really not. > > > I have a very full house of people, and I still feel alone...I hate that. > > > > > > I know that after the holidays and new years', I will feel better. > > > With all the hype about being together with the family around the > > holidays, > > > I feel like it's a big party that I was not invited to. > > > > > > Never in a million years would I have thought that my entire family would > > > disintegrate into non-existence. > > > > > > I hate wishing away time, but I wish it were Jan 2. > > > > > > Amy (please check out my website dedicated to helping myself and others > > > from this pain...at ThePASS.Me Thanks.) > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2010 Report Share Posted December 23, 2010 I find this very interesting, this feeling of invisibility. I have felt that way before, driving around town and I remember one time thinking " this guy waited for me to go, that proves I am visible! " How weird is that? I wonder what this is about! Anybody has a clue? Del > > > > > > > > > > > I am trying very hard to feel visible. > > > I had been the target of my mom's obsessions for so long and always > > wished > > > I could be invisible, under her intense unforgiving radar....and > > ironically, > > > I feel so invisible now when I don't want to be. > > > > > > I hate feeling isolated...even though I'm really not. > > > I have a very full house of people, and I still feel alone...I hate that. > > > > > > I know that after the holidays and new years', I will feel better. > > > With all the hype about being together with the family around the > > holidays, > > > I feel like it's a big party that I was not invited to. > > > > > > Never in a million years would I have thought that my entire family would > > > disintegrate into non-existence. > > > > > > I hate wishing away time, but I wish it were Jan 2. > > > > > > Amy (please check out my website dedicated to helping myself and others > > > from this pain...at ThePASS.Me Thanks.) > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2010 Report Share Posted December 24, 2010 I'm glad that amuses you. Del > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I am trying very hard to feel visible. > > > > > I had been the target of my mom's obsessions for so long and always > > > > wished > > > > > I could be invisible, under her intense unforgiving radar....and > > > > ironically, > > > > > I feel so invisible now when I don't want to be. > > > > > > > > > > I hate feeling isolated...even though I'm really not. > > > > > I have a very full house of people, and I still feel alone...I hate > > that. > > > > > > > > > > I know that after the holidays and new years', I will feel better. > > > > > With all the hype about being together with the family around the > > > > holidays, > > > > > I feel like it's a big party that I was not invited to. > > > > > > > > > > Never in a million years would I have thought that my entire family > > would > > > > > disintegrate into non-existence. > > > > > > > > > > I hate wishing away time, but I wish it were Jan 2. > > > > > > > > > > Amy (please check out my website dedicated to helping myself and > > others > > > > > from this pain...at ThePASS.Me Thanks.) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2010 Report Share Posted December 24, 2010 Thank you Annie for the info about invisibility. I've never mentioned this to my therapist because it only happened a few times, enough for me to remember the feeling, but not consistently. Thank You for your input! Del > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I am trying very hard to feel visible. > > > > > > > I had been the target of my mom's obsessions for so long and always > > > > > > wished > > > > > > > I could be invisible, under her intense unforgiving radar....and > > > > > > ironically, > > > > > > > I feel so invisible now when I don't want to be. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I hate feeling isolated...even though I'm really not. > > > > > > > I have a very full house of people, and I still feel alone...I hate > > > > that. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I know that after the holidays and new years', I will feel better. > > > > > > > With all the hype about being together with the family around the > > > > > > holidays, > > > > > > > I feel like it's a big party that I was not invited to. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Never in a million years would I have thought that my entire family > > > > would > > > > > > > disintegrate into non-existence. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I hate wishing away time, but I wish it were Jan 2. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Amy (please check out my website dedicated to helping myself and > > > > others > > > > > > > from this pain...at ThePASS.Me Thanks.) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2010 Report Share Posted December 24, 2010 Thank you Annie for the info about invisibility. I've never mentioned this to my therapist because it only happened a few times, enough for me to remember the feeling, but not consistently. Thank You for your input! Del > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I am trying very hard to feel visible. > > > > > > > I had been the target of my mom's obsessions for so long and always > > > > > > wished > > > > > > > I could be invisible, under her intense unforgiving radar....and > > > > > > ironically, > > > > > > > I feel so invisible now when I don't want to be. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I hate feeling isolated...even though I'm really not. > > > > > > > I have a very full house of people, and I still feel alone...I hate > > > > that. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I know that after the holidays and new years', I will feel better. > > > > > > > With all the hype about being together with the family around the > > > > > > holidays, > > > > > > > I feel like it's a big party that I was not invited to. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Never in a million years would I have thought that my entire family > > > > would > > > > > > > disintegrate into non-existence. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I hate wishing away time, but I wish it were Jan 2. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Amy (please check out my website dedicated to helping myself and > > > > others > > > > > > > from this pain...at ThePASS.Me Thanks.) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2010 Report Share Posted December 26, 2010 it's just that i was invisible as a person to my mom for so may important years...that now, when I have the freedom to be visible, I have a hard time with it....like I don't count...don't take up space. Re: invisible I've read that the feeling of being invisible can be a symptom of " depersonalization " , defined as: " A dissociative symptom in which a person feels that his or her body is unreal, is changing, or is dissolving, often resulting from anxiety, stress, or fatigue. Also called " self-alienation. " It sometimes is accompanied by " derealization " , or a loss of the sensation that one's surroundings are real. The environment (including other people) seems strange, or distant, or flat (like watching a movie), colorless, dream-like, or somehow altered. If these feelings persist, happen frequently, and/or are causing you distress, then its worth looking into with a psychologist. -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I am trying very hard to feel visible. > > > > > > I had been the target of my mom's obsessions for so long and always > > > > > wished > > > > > > I could be invisible, under her intense unforgiving radar....and > > > > > ironically, > > > > > > I feel so invisible now when I don't want to be. > > > > > > > > > > > > I hate feeling isolated...even though I'm really not. > > > > > > I have a very full house of people, and I still feel alone...I hate > > > that. > > > > > > > > > > > > I know that after the holidays and new years', I will feel better. > > > > > > With all the hype about being together with the family around the > > > > > holidays, > > > > > > I feel like it's a big party that I was not invited to. > > > > > > > > > > > > Never in a million years would I have thought that my entire family > > > would > > > > > > disintegrate into non-existence. > > > > > > > > > > > > I hate wishing away time, but I wish it were Jan 2. > > > > > > > > > > > > Amy (please check out my website dedicated to helping myself and > > > others > > > > > > from this pain...at ThePASS.Me Thanks.) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2010 Report Share Posted December 26, 2010 it's just that i was invisible as a person to my mom for so may important years...that now, when I have the freedom to be visible, I have a hard time with it....like I don't count...don't take up space. Re: invisible I've read that the feeling of being invisible can be a symptom of " depersonalization " , defined as: " A dissociative symptom in which a person feels that his or her body is unreal, is changing, or is dissolving, often resulting from anxiety, stress, or fatigue. Also called " self-alienation. " It sometimes is accompanied by " derealization " , or a loss of the sensation that one's surroundings are real. The environment (including other people) seems strange, or distant, or flat (like watching a movie), colorless, dream-like, or somehow altered. If these feelings persist, happen frequently, and/or are causing you distress, then its worth looking into with a psychologist. -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I am trying very hard to feel visible. > > > > > > I had been the target of my mom's obsessions for so long and always > > > > > wished > > > > > > I could be invisible, under her intense unforgiving radar....and > > > > > ironically, > > > > > > I feel so invisible now when I don't want to be. > > > > > > > > > > > > I hate feeling isolated...even though I'm really not. > > > > > > I have a very full house of people, and I still feel alone...I hate > > > that. > > > > > > > > > > > > I know that after the holidays and new years', I will feel better. > > > > > > With all the hype about being together with the family around the > > > > > holidays, > > > > > > I feel like it's a big party that I was not invited to. > > > > > > > > > > > > Never in a million years would I have thought that my entire family > > > would > > > > > > disintegrate into non-existence. > > > > > > > > > > > > I hate wishing away time, but I wish it were Jan 2. > > > > > > > > > > > > Amy (please check out my website dedicated to helping myself and > > > others > > > > > > from this pain...at ThePASS.Me Thanks.) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 26, 2010 Report Share Posted December 26, 2010 it's just that i was invisible as a person to my mom for so may important years...that now, when I have the freedom to be visible, I have a hard time with it....like I don't count...don't take up space. Re: invisible I've read that the feeling of being invisible can be a symptom of " depersonalization " , defined as: " A dissociative symptom in which a person feels that his or her body is unreal, is changing, or is dissolving, often resulting from anxiety, stress, or fatigue. Also called " self-alienation. " It sometimes is accompanied by " derealization " , or a loss of the sensation that one's surroundings are real. The environment (including other people) seems strange, or distant, or flat (like watching a movie), colorless, dream-like, or somehow altered. If these feelings persist, happen frequently, and/or are causing you distress, then its worth looking into with a psychologist. -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I am trying very hard to feel visible. > > > > > > I had been the target of my mom's obsessions for so long and always > > > > > wished > > > > > > I could be invisible, under her intense unforgiving radar....and > > > > > ironically, > > > > > > I feel so invisible now when I don't want to be. > > > > > > > > > > > > I hate feeling isolated...even though I'm really not. > > > > > > I have a very full house of people, and I still feel alone...I hate > > > that. > > > > > > > > > > > > I know that after the holidays and new years', I will feel better. > > > > > > With all the hype about being together with the family around the > > > > > holidays, > > > > > > I feel like it's a big party that I was not invited to. > > > > > > > > > > > > Never in a million years would I have thought that my entire family > > > would > > > > > > disintegrate into non-existence. > > > > > > > > > > > > I hate wishing away time, but I wish it were Jan 2. > > > > > > > > > > > > Amy (please check out my website dedicated to helping myself and > > > others > > > > > > from this pain...at ThePASS.Me Thanks.) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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