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Obligation in FOG

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Hi all,

Don't want to see nada. Don't want to see foo. Don't care about why anymore.

Here's the point - when I talk to them, I feel down. When I see them, I feel

like I'd rather be cleaning out the septic tank with a metal tape and bare

hands... You get the point. (Yes, I got to do that job - I was shit, so it

doesn't hurt shit to touch shit.)

I used to worry so much about the list of " charges " against them. I actually

made a little notebook with reference tabs to remind me when the FOG rolled in.

Finally I got tired of taking nada and the others to court in my mind trying to

absolve them of guilt and working out all of these perfectly phrased responses,

role playing with my dog or whatever. (I know these things can be very

necessary, just that I'm kind of tired of it now.)

So, what about the OBLIGATION part? Yep, it's still there. I have 2 kids who

like to see nada for toys and candy and every once in a while I get

stupid/crazy/high on sugar enough to think it would be " fun " to have her come

over or meet for lunch. I am still working it through in my mind, but it's

getting on my nerves - this obligation that I need to call her or see her every

week. Should I set a schedule like for community service or what?

-Coal Miner's Daughter

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