Advice needed about other family members

[Guest guest]

I'm considering making some of the ppl in my life aware of my mom having BPD.

Have any of you shared this info w/the ppl in your life? How did they handle it?

What is the best way to go about telling someone?

1. My brother already believes mom is a BP, & I was thinking of having him join

this forum, but I know he'll figure out who I am by my posts, & I am thoroughly

enjoying my freedom in here. Maybe I'll just hand him the Eggshells book, and if

he joins this site on his own, so be it. Hah.

2. I want to tell my fiance, but I don't know if that would be a wise decision.

He might freak out & shut off all hopes of having a relationship w/my mom. OR he

might feel relieved, since my mom is not his biggest fan, and all of his efforts

to develop a normal relationship w/her have only shown progress at a snail's

pace. Should I let him in? Or let things develop naturally between the 2 of

them? By labeling her, will he act differently? I think he would. But I also

want him to know what I am going through. I don't know how long of a process

this will be for me.

3. My dad. My selfless, patient, softspoken dad. Does anyone know how spouses of

BPs are affected by knowing they have created a life with a BP? Will telling my

dad relieve him? Will it make him angry that he got screwed, and not all women

are like nada? I have picked up on a few signs that he feels that women in

general are high-maintenance. Whether or not he convinced himself of this to

justify his marriage is irrelevant. Will it make him more stressed and

depressed? He is a heart patient. Will he think I'm crazy? My family is from a

conservative culture, I don't know if he would think I'm going looney with all

of the psych babble that's out these days.

Advice? Experiences?