Guest guest Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 Elle I am rather far to one side of the political spectrum. Some of my posts my indicate my religious orientation. These things are usually no part of what I say here, and so I don t bring them up. I have a friend who is as far to the other extreme as you can get. We have some lively, heated , exchanges on Facebook. But at the end, we agree that we disagree, and he is still my friend, and my insurance agent! Friends Can disagree. But people, friends or no, must respect your boundaries as well. Just as good fences make good neighbors, so good boundaries make good friends. J and I are never likely to agree on politics. Yet, we have been friends and share interests in music and arts going back 35 years. We can bluster and storm at each other about how utterly ridiculous our views are, and in the next breath, talk about a concert we played in together. I think he s very naive, and he thinks I m very deluded, and we are friends in spite of it! Our FB friends get a kick out of our debates. There are a couple books I can recommend for you, that might help you in establishing your boundaries, and in maintaining safe relationships. These books are written from a Christian perspective, by 2 christian psychologists, but still have good, sound, counsel that applies to anyone , without insisting that you adhere to a particular set of beliefs. I m not trying to proselytize you! But I have found these helpful, as have a number of our other KO kinfolk on this group. The books are Boundaries Safe People By Dr s Townsend and Henry Cloud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 elle, it sounds to me like he isn't a very good friend. I wouldn't call that splitting, I'd call that honoring my values. I have friends who disagree wiht me politically - a lot of them. But if they try to force or control my values or don't respect my perspective, they aren't good friends. I don't shove my values down other peoples throats and I expect the same in return. XOXO PS Doug you rock! > > > Elle > > I am rather far to one side of the political spectrum. Some of my posts > my indicate my religious orientation. These things are usually no part > of what I say here, and so I don t bring them up. I have a friend who > is as far to the other extreme as you can get. We have some lively, > heated , exchanges on Facebook. But at the end, we agree that we > disagree, and he is still my friend, and my insurance agent! > > Friends Can disagree. But people, friends or no, must respect your > boundaries as well. Just as good fences make good neighbors, so good > boundaries make good friends. > > J and I are never likely to agree on politics. Yet, we have been > friends and share interests in music and arts going back 35 years. We > can bluster and storm at each other about how utterly ridiculous our > views are, and in the next breath, talk about a concert we played in > together. I think he s very naive, and he thinks I m very deluded, and > we are friends in spite of it! > > Our FB friends get a kick out of our debates. > > There are a couple books I can recommend for you, that might help you in > establishing your boundaries, and in maintaining safe relationships. > > These books are written from a Christian perspective, by 2 christian > psychologists, but still have good, sound, counsel that applies to > anyone , without insisting that you adhere to a particular set of > beliefs. I m not trying to proselytize you! But I have found these > helpful, as have a number of our other KO kinfolk on this group. > > The books are > > Boundaries > Safe People > By Dr s Townsend and Henry Cloud > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 elle, it sounds to me like he isn't a very good friend. I wouldn't call that splitting, I'd call that honoring my values. I have friends who disagree wiht me politically - a lot of them. But if they try to force or control my values or don't respect my perspective, they aren't good friends. I don't shove my values down other peoples throats and I expect the same in return. XOXO PS Doug you rock! > > > Elle > > I am rather far to one side of the political spectrum. Some of my posts > my indicate my religious orientation. These things are usually no part > of what I say here, and so I don t bring them up. I have a friend who > is as far to the other extreme as you can get. We have some lively, > heated , exchanges on Facebook. But at the end, we agree that we > disagree, and he is still my friend, and my insurance agent! > > Friends Can disagree. But people, friends or no, must respect your > boundaries as well. Just as good fences make good neighbors, so good > boundaries make good friends. > > J and I are never likely to agree on politics. Yet, we have been > friends and share interests in music and arts going back 35 years. We > can bluster and storm at each other about how utterly ridiculous our > views are, and in the next breath, talk about a concert we played in > together. I think he s very naive, and he thinks I m very deluded, and > we are friends in spite of it! > > Our FB friends get a kick out of our debates. > > There are a couple books I can recommend for you, that might help you in > establishing your boundaries, and in maintaining safe relationships. > > These books are written from a Christian perspective, by 2 christian > psychologists, but still have good, sound, counsel that applies to > anyone , without insisting that you adhere to a particular set of > beliefs. I m not trying to proselytize you! But I have found these > helpful, as have a number of our other KO kinfolk on this group. > > The books are > > Boundaries > Safe People > By Dr s Townsend and Henry Cloud > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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