Re: Here goes... counseling

[Guest guest]

Josie,

Sounds like seeing a counselor about your eating issues has been a healthy move

for you.

This list is great because most of us probably have no one we can really discuss

IE issues with in any detail, especially day in and day out. Most folks don't

have a clue and are likely to say really unsupportive things if we try to

discuss our eating.

We all need friends we can discuss the ups and downs and stresses of life with

though. And those upsets do impact eating behavior, whether we mention the

eating to others or not. If the people around us are uninterested in hearing

anything deep, then they are acquaintances, not friends.

Having a counselor we pay to listen to our issues can be helpful, especially

when we are currently isolated, until we can reach out to others and develop

deep friendships. It's not the same as being loved though, which is a basic

human need. Love isn't an optional thing, only for people lucky enough to have

a partner and/or a supportive family at this time in their lives. Reaching out

to others is a critical part of self-care, if we are to lead healthy and

fulfilling lives. (It's not easy though, especially if we've recently moved.

In my experience, it took lots of time and lots of disappointments. But

eventually, the efforts pay off and we are part of a loving community, although

it probably isn't the one we would have planned.)

By the way, Josie, I too have avoided the counseling thing like the plague, not

wanting to appear to need help, but a few months ago I was ready and actively

tried to find an IE counselor here and couldn't. Then I found this list, which

has really helped. It's not the same as one-on-one counseling, but hey, it's

available whenever and is free. But if I'd found a local IE counselor, I'd be

going.

Jane

> > >

> > > Whoah.... Re counseling - I'd sure like us to ease up on that message as

it strikes me as a reinforcement of " somebody else has the answers " and only

with expert help can poor little old me find my truth. Is there a rush on

getting it right?

> > >

> > > Our truths may be hidden, they may be obscure, they may be counter to

popular belief - but they are there if we pause, be kind, talk nice, breathe.

TRUST, and give time time. Counseling is sometimes necessary but is highly

overused in our culture especially when it comes to finding one's own voice in

something as day-to-day as facing the fork, the plate, the refrigerator and our

own heads and hearts in any given moment.

> > >

> > > I don't belive in self-sabotage - I think that's a cliche and that

" failure " might mean something as simple as having an expectation that wasn't in

alignment with reality.

> > >

> > > We - we strong women - are fully equipped to handle life on life's terms

and to sort out piece-by-piece the mysterious processes that cause us to choose

or give up choice all together.

> > >

> > > Our intuitive is always working on our behalf, even when we're fighting to

swim upstream towards something our minds have latched onto as success.

> > >

> > > Hope this doesn't offend too many people too deeply; let me merely add

that I am a licensed therapist who works as supervisor in Emergency Services and

that I believe we, as a culture, over-rely on outside experts across the board.

Therapy disempowers as often as it empowers - it is a double-edged sword to be

used with discretion and care.

> > >

> > > And recovery is a process, not a one-step banishment of the problem.

> > >

> > > With love and e-hugs,

> > > Sandarah

> > >

> >

>