Re: Reaching out, need help dealing w/QUEEN nada

December 17, 2010

Lynn, along with my mom being a waif BPD, my aunt is a queen BPD. She also used

her powers to make everyone love her to the point of worship with attention

(she's very attention-needy from men and women alike), while neglecting her own

daughter (my cousin).

She has been complaining about my cousin since she was born, saying she was too

cranky as an infant. She got people to feel sorry for her...like she didn't

deserve this kind of treatment from an infant...it was so sick. She would take

it personally that her baby was crying for no reason. My cousin grew up being

kicked by her...and yelled at...and disliked. My cousin is now 41 and has

detached herself from the family, which is all broken up anyway.

My aunt painted a picture of herself as sexy, beautiful and with it. She

actually purchased kegs of beer many years ago for her son's high school

graduation for his friends...excuse me, but that was ILLEGAL! She didn't care

about the ramifications of this act of selfishness and irresponsibility. She

wanted all the boys in the grade to like her...so she supplied them with beer on

a beautiful June afternoon. Luckily for her, nobody got killed while driving

drunk.

Amy

Reaching out, need help dealing w/QUEEN nada

She used to treat me much like she is w/my own kids now ( " spoiled rotton " , which

I now see as a form of abuse), I became accustomed to this (never individuated

normally, that's for sure & was actually crippled by her overinvolved

codependent caretaking if that's what you wanna call it), and now that my older

2 kids are in her clutches, she has no need for me (her daughter). Sometimes I

feel like she deliberately tried to steal my life. Worse of all, my kids are

affected by her illness & control tactics, and have been there whole lifes.

This is nearly more than I can bear at times. To see how I did not protect

them, or myself, from this illness or from her abuse (that makes her look

wonderful to most of the world, and me like and ungrateful bitch).

I'm very isolated here. We live in a small town. People know her from her

work. She's very functional in work and makes lots of money (money=power), and

flaunts her social/economic status, and treats me with derision (based upon my

'status'???) privately. Other people just think she is such a " strong " woman.

I really need some support, understanding. Am I the crazy one here, maybe it's

all me? Does anyone else have a QUEEN bpd Mother/nada? If so, please share

what it's like, or if this sounds familiar.

Thanks so much,

Lynn

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