Re: Re: trouble with processed foods

[Guest guest]

Mimi -- I just went through an exercise in Overcoming Overeating (chapter 17) wherein one first imagines oneself very much fatter and looks for the feeling that brings up, then imagines oneself very much thinner, and looks at what that brings up. The authors say that frequently people find that fatter feels more solid, safer, and that a lot of us have a fear of disappearing -- I guess that last could be me, as imagining myself fatter did not conjure up much feeling, but imagining myself much thinner gave me an image in a casket! You can't disappear much more than that. Anyway, you say you're driven, maybe some exercises like that would help clear up the need behind the drive? Judy

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, September 29, 2011 4:54 PMSubject: Re: Re: trouble with processed foods

I am having real concern about the amount of processed foods I've been eating. I've been giving all kinds of advice here (that I believe! LOL) that I find to accept and follow myself. My thoughts often turn to restricting. When I eat processed simple carbs, I often feel a gnawing sensation in my body for more. It's not hunger, it's drive. I am driven to eat them. I've been somewhat successful asking myself what I am actually craving and how I can take care of myself at the moment without overeating. The trouble is that even if I find a way to give myself emotional sustenance (if that's what I really need), the gnawing sensation doesn't go away, and neither does the sense of deprivation when I don't indulge. So, I do.

It doesn't help that I feel my pants tightening, either. I really hope I'm not triggering anyone here by talking about weight. I'm not weighing, but I am beginning to feel that I will surely slide into obesity soon. I guess I'm in a down place with food and just need to get this out. All my life I have been defined by my looks and weight. I was thin and good looking and that was the be all and end all of everything. Please forgive me for being so vain, but when I started gaining weight I felt as though I was less worthy. I went from "model-worthy" in my 20's to an overweight woman with a bulging stomach, a hunk carved out of one breast, and patchy spots of overgrown skin cells all over my body. My once thick tame hair never recovered from chemo and became thin and dry and I developed a scalp condition and arthritis. Although very happy to still be here, I felt that my body was a shadow of what it once was, and I was only 34. Soooo, it's very

hard for me to accept gaining weight on top of this.

Anyway, I want to stay the course. I guess I just needed to write all that out and process it. Thanks for listening!

Mimi