Guest guest Posted September 29, 2011 Report Share Posted September 29, 2011 Hi everyone, back again. not dieting, but not being mindful, and eating for comfort. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. My husband works 200 miles away and so we see each other on weekends only -- this has been going on for a year and a half and will continue until next May. A few other things that are relatively small potatoes (3 hour daily commute, trying to get out of lease in one state to relieve commute, fixer-upper house that must be sold next summer in another.) I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. When you read about this kind of thing, it's always something about a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I'm not really interested in that kind of thing. Any thoughts? I guess I'm going to start by going to bed. thea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 I know, why do they always talk about bubble baths and pedicures? I like those things myself, but there are so many options out there besides these. Plus, I think it tends to stereotype women as just needing some "pampering" and beautification. Can you take up something you've wanted to do in the past, but never got around to? Maybe some like photography or gardening? If that seems like too much energy when you're already exhausted from commuting how about resolving to learn about something really interesting, like a particular historical period and then checking out library books and finding films about that? Mimi Subject: comforting yourselfTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, September 29, 2011, 10:08 PM Hi everyone,back again. not dieting, but not being mindful, and eating for comfort. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. My husband works 200 miles away and so we see each other on weekends only -- this has been going on for a year and a half and will continue until next May. A few other things that are relatively small potatoes (3 hour daily commute, trying to get out of lease in one state to relieve commute, fixer-upper house that must be sold next summer in another.)I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it.Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being.When you read about this kind of thing, it's always something about a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I'm not really interested in that kind of thing.Any thoughts? I guess I'm going to start by going to bed.thea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 Could you do anything to make the commute nicer? Cheesy books on tape? phone dates with your husband? a new CD each week to listen to in the car? better podcasts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 Could you do anything to make the commute nicer? Cheesy books on tape? phone dates with your husband? a new CD each week to listen to in the car? better podcasts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 That sounds really really hard. Thank goodness you have an end-date, but that is so much stress in between. I imagine you just might have to be extra kind and gentle with yourself, knowing how stressful this is, and that perhaps you're going to perhaps have to continue to use food for comfort, knowing that when all this is behind you, you probably won't need it anymore. I like the suggestions about audio books for the drive, and personally, I've always used reading books for comfort, but it really depends on you. I wish you strength and serenity. All my best! Tilley > > Hi everyone, > > back again. not dieting, but not being mindful, and eating for comfort. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. My husband works 200 miles away and so we see each other on weekends only -- this has been going on for a year and a half and will continue until next May. A few other things that are relatively small potatoes (3 hour daily commute, trying to get out of lease in one state to relieve commute, fixer-upper house that must be sold next summer in another.) > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > > When you read about this kind of thing, it's always something about a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I'm not really interested in that kind of thing. > > Any thoughts? I guess I'm going to start by going to bed. > > thea > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 That sounds really really hard. Thank goodness you have an end-date, but that is so much stress in between. I imagine you just might have to be extra kind and gentle with yourself, knowing how stressful this is, and that perhaps you're going to perhaps have to continue to use food for comfort, knowing that when all this is behind you, you probably won't need it anymore. I like the suggestions about audio books for the drive, and personally, I've always used reading books for comfort, but it really depends on you. I wish you strength and serenity. All my best! Tilley > > Hi everyone, > > back again. not dieting, but not being mindful, and eating for comfort. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. My husband works 200 miles away and so we see each other on weekends only -- this has been going on for a year and a half and will continue until next May. A few other things that are relatively small potatoes (3 hour daily commute, trying to get out of lease in one state to relieve commute, fixer-upper house that must be sold next summer in another.) > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > > When you read about this kind of thing, it's always something about a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I'm not really interested in that kind of thing. > > Any thoughts? I guess I'm going to start by going to bed. > > thea > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 Hi Thea, I've had to make a new life for myself since divorce, and after 23 years of marriage and raising kids had to do some thinking about who I am by myself. We so become part of our families that sometimes we forget that we are persons in and of ourselves. For me it was either get out and find things to do or stay home alone. I could not allow food to become my sutbstitute friend/comapanion. Anyway, I began line dancing, riding with a local bicycle club, and hiking with a hiking club, all things I can do when I want some people connection, or not do if I'm tired and feel like staying home. When I retire, I hope to do some volunteering. You didn't say anything about children, which can limit your choices if you have them. But it sounds like you may feel better doing something that gets you out and interacting with other people while your husband is gone. Are you an outdoor person? A crafty person? A reader? I know as a teacher that schools have desparate need for volunteers to read with children. Or maybe think out of the box and try something you've not thought of trying before. There are so many different groups once you start looking. > > Hi everyone, > > back again. not dieting, but not being mindful, and eating for comfort. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. My husband works 200 miles away and so we see each other on weekends only -- this has been going on for a year and a half and will continue until next May. A few other things that are relatively small potatoes (3 hour daily commute, trying to get out of lease in one state to relieve commute, fixer-upper house that must be sold next summer in another.) > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > > When you read about this kind of thing, it's always something about a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I'm not really interested in that kind of thing. > > Any thoughts? I guess I'm going to start by going to bed. > > thea > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 Hi Thea, I've had to make a new life for myself since divorce, and after 23 years of marriage and raising kids had to do some thinking about who I am by myself. We so become part of our families that sometimes we forget that we are persons in and of ourselves. For me it was either get out and find things to do or stay home alone. I could not allow food to become my sutbstitute friend/comapanion. Anyway, I began line dancing, riding with a local bicycle club, and hiking with a hiking club, all things I can do when I want some people connection, or not do if I'm tired and feel like staying home. When I retire, I hope to do some volunteering. You didn't say anything about children, which can limit your choices if you have them. But it sounds like you may feel better doing something that gets you out and interacting with other people while your husband is gone. Are you an outdoor person? A crafty person? A reader? I know as a teacher that schools have desparate need for volunteers to read with children. Or maybe think out of the box and try something you've not thought of trying before. There are so many different groups once you start looking. > > Hi everyone, > > back again. not dieting, but not being mindful, and eating for comfort. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. My husband works 200 miles away and so we see each other on weekends only -- this has been going on for a year and a half and will continue until next May. A few other things that are relatively small potatoes (3 hour daily commute, trying to get out of lease in one state to relieve commute, fixer-upper house that must be sold next summer in another.) > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > > When you read about this kind of thing, it's always something about a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I'm not really interested in that kind of thing. > > Any thoughts? I guess I'm going to start by going to bed. > > thea > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 Hi Thea, I've had to make a new life for myself since divorce, and after 23 years of marriage and raising kids had to do some thinking about who I am by myself. We so become part of our families that sometimes we forget that we are persons in and of ourselves. For me it was either get out and find things to do or stay home alone. I could not allow food to become my sutbstitute friend/comapanion. Anyway, I began line dancing, riding with a local bicycle club, and hiking with a hiking club, all things I can do when I want some people connection, or not do if I'm tired and feel like staying home. When I retire, I hope to do some volunteering. You didn't say anything about children, which can limit your choices if you have them. But it sounds like you may feel better doing something that gets you out and interacting with other people while your husband is gone. Are you an outdoor person? A crafty person? A reader? I know as a teacher that schools have desparate need for volunteers to read with children. Or maybe think out of the box and try something you've not thought of trying before. There are so many different groups once you start looking. > > Hi everyone, > > back again. not dieting, but not being mindful, and eating for comfort. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. My husband works 200 miles away and so we see each other on weekends only -- this has been going on for a year and a half and will continue until next May. A few other things that are relatively small potatoes (3 hour daily commute, trying to get out of lease in one state to relieve commute, fixer-upper house that must be sold next summer in another.) > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > > When you read about this kind of thing, it's always something about a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I'm not really interested in that kind of thing. > > Any thoughts? I guess I'm going to start by going to bed. > > thea > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 Thea, Since you're missing your husband, perhaps other social contact would help? Maybe you could walk with a coworker on your lunch break (a walk always GIVES me energy, once I get off my duff. I'll bet you're really tired when you get home, and have probably missed the window for attending evening activities (a class in something you've always wanted to learn to do or a Bible study perhaps, or volunteering to help a benevolent organization). Even one mid-week evening activity might help give you something to look forward to and ease the missing social contact. What about visiting a friend or making a phone call to a different person each evening? If all else fails, checking some interesting books on CD out from the library to listen to on your commute and spending an hour each evening doing something (a craft project, preferably one which requires focus, or else a walk out of doors) might be much more rejuvenating that the typical escape tv watching or reading a novel. What I'm suggesting is that while your reactions are perfectly normal, allowing your mind to wallow in your losses is very unhealthy. (This is my downfall - kudos for being able to see your blessings as well right now.) I find that physical activity makes me more energetic, even if it's only a 15 minute walk. And having very interesting input, like a book on tape, keeps my mind off my troubles. A creative project takes away the helpless feeling of being on a seemingly endless treadmill. It renews the mind, the busy hands are calming, and the results lift the spirits as well. Overall, my advice is to give your body somewhere to go, as in a walk, and your mind somewhere to go in a positive way as well. Ideally, you'll be able to make human contact each day with someone beyond your husband (as those contacts probably make you miss him and leave you sad when you say good-bye, whereas calls with friends aren't bittersweet in that way. And if folks are long-distance, Skype is great and feels more like a real visit than a phone call, and it's free! Jane > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 Thea, Since you're missing your husband, perhaps other social contact would help? Maybe you could walk with a coworker on your lunch break (a walk always GIVES me energy, once I get off my duff. I'll bet you're really tired when you get home, and have probably missed the window for attending evening activities (a class in something you've always wanted to learn to do or a Bible study perhaps, or volunteering to help a benevolent organization). Even one mid-week evening activity might help give you something to look forward to and ease the missing social contact. What about visiting a friend or making a phone call to a different person each evening? If all else fails, checking some interesting books on CD out from the library to listen to on your commute and spending an hour each evening doing something (a craft project, preferably one which requires focus, or else a walk out of doors) might be much more rejuvenating that the typical escape tv watching or reading a novel. What I'm suggesting is that while your reactions are perfectly normal, allowing your mind to wallow in your losses is very unhealthy. (This is my downfall - kudos for being able to see your blessings as well right now.) I find that physical activity makes me more energetic, even if it's only a 15 minute walk. And having very interesting input, like a book on tape, keeps my mind off my troubles. A creative project takes away the helpless feeling of being on a seemingly endless treadmill. It renews the mind, the busy hands are calming, and the results lift the spirits as well. Overall, my advice is to give your body somewhere to go, as in a walk, and your mind somewhere to go in a positive way as well. Ideally, you'll be able to make human contact each day with someone beyond your husband (as those contacts probably make you miss him and leave you sad when you say good-bye, whereas calls with friends aren't bittersweet in that way. And if folks are long-distance, Skype is great and feels more like a real visit than a phone call, and it's free! Jane > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 Thea, Since you're missing your husband, perhaps other social contact would help? Maybe you could walk with a coworker on your lunch break (a walk always GIVES me energy, once I get off my duff. I'll bet you're really tired when you get home, and have probably missed the window for attending evening activities (a class in something you've always wanted to learn to do or a Bible study perhaps, or volunteering to help a benevolent organization). Even one mid-week evening activity might help give you something to look forward to and ease the missing social contact. What about visiting a friend or making a phone call to a different person each evening? If all else fails, checking some interesting books on CD out from the library to listen to on your commute and spending an hour each evening doing something (a craft project, preferably one which requires focus, or else a walk out of doors) might be much more rejuvenating that the typical escape tv watching or reading a novel. What I'm suggesting is that while your reactions are perfectly normal, allowing your mind to wallow in your losses is very unhealthy. (This is my downfall - kudos for being able to see your blessings as well right now.) I find that physical activity makes me more energetic, even if it's only a 15 minute walk. And having very interesting input, like a book on tape, keeps my mind off my troubles. A creative project takes away the helpless feeling of being on a seemingly endless treadmill. It renews the mind, the busy hands are calming, and the results lift the spirits as well. Overall, my advice is to give your body somewhere to go, as in a walk, and your mind somewhere to go in a positive way as well. Ideally, you'll be able to make human contact each day with someone beyond your husband (as those contacts probably make you miss him and leave you sad when you say good-bye, whereas calls with friends aren't bittersweet in that way. And if folks are long-distance, Skype is great and feels more like a real visit than a phone call, and it's free! Jane > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Okay, I haven't posted in this group in over a year, so you know your post really touched home with me. Thank you for posting about what your going through. I, too, am a comfort eater. My father passed away suddenly, for a 90 year old man with a full and active life, and I had to go home to take care of funeral arrangements, my mother, as well as my own grief over losing my beloved Dad. My mother was in shock, understandably and grief ridden and lost her appetite. It seemed I gained hers in addition to one or two more. I just couldn't stop eating - especially cakes and sweets that were brought by the house, as people do when someone dies. I knew I wasn't hungry and it was even beyond comfort eating. It almost felt like I was punishing myself - which sounds horrible. None of this probably helps you, other than to let you know your not alone. And thank you for all the responses. They helped me. My comfort eating is not going to be solved by a bubble bath and a pedicure! Thank you! > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > back again. not dieting, but not being mindful, and eating for comfort. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. My husband works 200 miles away and so we see each other on weekends only -- this has been going on for a year and a half and will continue until next May. A few other things that are relatively small potatoes (3 hour daily commute, trying to get out of lease in one state to relieve commute, fixer-upper house that must be sold next summer in another.) > > > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > > > > When you read about this kind of thing, it's always something about a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I'm not really interested in that kind of thing. > > > > Any thoughts? I guess I'm going to start by going to bed. > > > > thea > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Okay, I haven't posted in this group in over a year, so you know your post really touched home with me. Thank you for posting about what your going through. I, too, am a comfort eater. My father passed away suddenly, for a 90 year old man with a full and active life, and I had to go home to take care of funeral arrangements, my mother, as well as my own grief over losing my beloved Dad. My mother was in shock, understandably and grief ridden and lost her appetite. It seemed I gained hers in addition to one or two more. I just couldn't stop eating - especially cakes and sweets that were brought by the house, as people do when someone dies. I knew I wasn't hungry and it was even beyond comfort eating. It almost felt like I was punishing myself - which sounds horrible. None of this probably helps you, other than to let you know your not alone. And thank you for all the responses. They helped me. My comfort eating is not going to be solved by a bubble bath and a pedicure! Thank you! > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > back again. not dieting, but not being mindful, and eating for comfort. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. My husband works 200 miles away and so we see each other on weekends only -- this has been going on for a year and a half and will continue until next May. A few other things that are relatively small potatoes (3 hour daily commute, trying to get out of lease in one state to relieve commute, fixer-upper house that must be sold next summer in another.) > > > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > > > > When you read about this kind of thing, it's always something about a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I'm not really interested in that kind of thing. > > > > Any thoughts? I guess I'm going to start by going to bed. > > > > thea > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Okay, I haven't posted in this group in over a year, so you know your post really touched home with me. Thank you for posting about what your going through. I, too, am a comfort eater. My father passed away suddenly, for a 90 year old man with a full and active life, and I had to go home to take care of funeral arrangements, my mother, as well as my own grief over losing my beloved Dad. My mother was in shock, understandably and grief ridden and lost her appetite. It seemed I gained hers in addition to one or two more. I just couldn't stop eating - especially cakes and sweets that were brought by the house, as people do when someone dies. I knew I wasn't hungry and it was even beyond comfort eating. It almost felt like I was punishing myself - which sounds horrible. None of this probably helps you, other than to let you know your not alone. And thank you for all the responses. They helped me. My comfort eating is not going to be solved by a bubble bath and a pedicure! Thank you! > > > > Hi everyone, > > > > back again. not dieting, but not being mindful, and eating for comfort. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. My husband works 200 miles away and so we see each other on weekends only -- this has been going on for a year and a half and will continue until next May. A few other things that are relatively small potatoes (3 hour daily commute, trying to get out of lease in one state to relieve commute, fixer-upper house that must be sold next summer in another.) > > > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > > > > When you read about this kind of thing, it's always something about a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I'm not really interested in that kind of thing. > > > > Any thoughts? I guess I'm going to start by going to bed. > > > > thea > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 For sure comforting one's self using food is common and feels effective at the moment of need. The trouble begins when guilt sets in for doing this as well as all the unpleasant after effects from excessive food intake. I also find myself doing this at stressful times - its such an 'automatic' reaction in a lot of ways. The only way I have been able to turn the tables on this undesired practice is to 1) be aware that I am eating for comfort, not hunger, 2) give myself permission to comfort myself - as best as I can at that moment - food included, 3) turn my focus onto the food making sure I notice taste, texture and how my body is receiving it., and 4) taking a deep breath, see if I can go beyond the food to find what what it is that I really want for comfort - touch (hug), distance from X (hurting factor) OR if this act of eating is self punishment for whatever reason. That's a LOT to ask of one's self when caught in the clutches of hurt or anger, but like most of IE 'training' - taking little baby steps each time eventually turns into an assured 'way' that takes you where you really need to be. BEST to us all, Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > Okay, I haven't posted in this group in over a year, so you know your post really touched home with me. Thank you for posting about what your going through. I, too, am a comfort eater. My father passed away suddenly, for a 90 year old man with a full and active life, and I had to go home to take care of funeral arrangements, my mother, as well as my own grief over losing my beloved Dad. My mother was in shock, understandably and grief ridden and lost her appetite. It seemed I gained hers in addition to one or two more. I just couldn't stop eating - especially cakes and sweets that were brought by the house, as people do when someone dies. I knew I wasn't hungry and it was even beyond comfort eating. It almost felt like I was punishing myself - which sounds horrible. None of this probably helps you, other than to let you know your not alone. And thank you for all the responses. They helped me. My comfort eating is not going to be solved by a bubble bath and a pedicure! > > Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 For sure comforting one's self using food is common and feels effective at the moment of need. The trouble begins when guilt sets in for doing this as well as all the unpleasant after effects from excessive food intake. I also find myself doing this at stressful times - its such an 'automatic' reaction in a lot of ways. The only way I have been able to turn the tables on this undesired practice is to 1) be aware that I am eating for comfort, not hunger, 2) give myself permission to comfort myself - as best as I can at that moment - food included, 3) turn my focus onto the food making sure I notice taste, texture and how my body is receiving it., and 4) taking a deep breath, see if I can go beyond the food to find what what it is that I really want for comfort - touch (hug), distance from X (hurting factor) OR if this act of eating is self punishment for whatever reason. That's a LOT to ask of one's self when caught in the clutches of hurt or anger, but like most of IE 'training' - taking little baby steps each time eventually turns into an assured 'way' that takes you where you really need to be. BEST to us all, Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > Okay, I haven't posted in this group in over a year, so you know your post really touched home with me. Thank you for posting about what your going through. I, too, am a comfort eater. My father passed away suddenly, for a 90 year old man with a full and active life, and I had to go home to take care of funeral arrangements, my mother, as well as my own grief over losing my beloved Dad. My mother was in shock, understandably and grief ridden and lost her appetite. It seemed I gained hers in addition to one or two more. I just couldn't stop eating - especially cakes and sweets that were brought by the house, as people do when someone dies. I knew I wasn't hungry and it was even beyond comfort eating. It almost felt like I was punishing myself - which sounds horrible. None of this probably helps you, other than to let you know your not alone. And thank you for all the responses. They helped me. My comfort eating is not going to be solved by a bubble bath and a pedicure! > > Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Right now, I'm reading a lot of cheesy detective stories. It's getting dark earlier and earlier every day around here and I'm moving into hybernation mode already. And, probably somebody else here already said this - just eat for comfort mindfully for a while and see where that leads. Sandarah > > Hi everyone, > > back again. not dieting, but not being mindful, and eating for comfort. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. My husband works 200 miles away and so we see each other on weekends only -- this has been going on for a year and a half and will continue until next May. A few other things that are relatively small potatoes (3 hour daily commute, trying to get out of lease in one state to relieve commute, fixer-upper house that must be sold next summer in another.) > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > > When you read about this kind of thing, it's always something about a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I'm not really interested in that kind of thing. > > Any thoughts? I guess I'm going to start by going to bed. > > thea > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Right now, I'm reading a lot of cheesy detective stories. It's getting dark earlier and earlier every day around here and I'm moving into hybernation mode already. And, probably somebody else here already said this - just eat for comfort mindfully for a while and see where that leads. Sandarah > > Hi everyone, > > back again. not dieting, but not being mindful, and eating for comfort. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. My husband works 200 miles away and so we see each other on weekends only -- this has been going on for a year and a half and will continue until next May. A few other things that are relatively small potatoes (3 hour daily commute, trying to get out of lease in one state to relieve commute, fixer-upper house that must be sold next summer in another.) > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > > When you read about this kind of thing, it's always something about a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I'm not really interested in that kind of thing. > > Any thoughts? I guess I'm going to start by going to bed. > > thea > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Right now, I'm reading a lot of cheesy detective stories. It's getting dark earlier and earlier every day around here and I'm moving into hybernation mode already. And, probably somebody else here already said this - just eat for comfort mindfully for a while and see where that leads. Sandarah > > Hi everyone, > > back again. not dieting, but not being mindful, and eating for comfort. I didn't realize I was doing this until recently. My husband works 200 miles away and so we see each other on weekends only -- this has been going on for a year and a half and will continue until next May. A few other things that are relatively small potatoes (3 hour daily commute, trying to get out of lease in one state to relieve commute, fixer-upper house that must be sold next summer in another.) > > I want to emphasize that I am grateful to have a good job and a wonderful husband. It's just that I am often tired and lonely, and this makes me eat. It's revelation but I don't know what to do about it. > > Here's what I am wrestling with at the moment. Intellectually I know it's comfort eating, and I'm not even that interested in food, having legalized everything long ago. I am trying to find ways to be nice to myself that don't involve food. But I can't think of any. The only things that would make me happy are to have my husband around and to be rested and to have more free time not spent in a car. I can't do anything about those things for the time being. > > When you read about this kind of thing, it's always something about a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I'm not really interested in that kind of thing. > > Any thoughts? I guess I'm going to start by going to bed. > > thea > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Well said, Katcha. Well said. > > > > Okay, I haven't posted in this group in over a year, so you know your post really touched home with me. Thank you for posting about what your going through. I, too, am a comfort eater. My father passed away suddenly, for a 90 year old man with a full and active life, and I had to go home to take care of funeral arrangements, my mother, as well as my own grief over losing my beloved Dad. My mother was in shock, understandably and grief ridden and lost her appetite. It seemed I gained hers in addition to one or two more. I just couldn't stop eating - especially cakes and sweets that were brought by the house, as people do when someone dies. I knew I wasn't hungry and it was even beyond comfort eating. It almost felt like I was punishing myself - which sounds horrible. None of this probably helps you, other than to let you know your not alone. And thank you for all the responses. They helped me. My comfort eating is not going to be solved by a bubble bath and a pedicure! > > > > Thank you! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Well said, Katcha. Well said. > > > > Okay, I haven't posted in this group in over a year, so you know your post really touched home with me. Thank you for posting about what your going through. I, too, am a comfort eater. My father passed away suddenly, for a 90 year old man with a full and active life, and I had to go home to take care of funeral arrangements, my mother, as well as my own grief over losing my beloved Dad. My mother was in shock, understandably and grief ridden and lost her appetite. It seemed I gained hers in addition to one or two more. I just couldn't stop eating - especially cakes and sweets that were brought by the house, as people do when someone dies. I knew I wasn't hungry and it was even beyond comfort eating. It almost felt like I was punishing myself - which sounds horrible. None of this probably helps you, other than to let you know your not alone. And thank you for all the responses. They helped me. My comfort eating is not going to be solved by a bubble bath and a pedicure! > > > > Thank you! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Thanks :-) I later remembered the silly (but true?!?) ironical observation the the word desserts is stressed spelled backwards ;-) Makes me wonder if our bodies aren't also looking for a 'boost' (glucose hit) to deal with what is stressing us. Hmmmm. Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > > > For sure comforting one's self using food is common and feels effective at the moment of need. The trouble begins when guilt sets in for doing this as well as all the unpleasant after effects from excessive food intake. I also find myself doing this at stressful times - its such an 'automatic' reaction in a lot of ways. The only way I have been able to turn the tables on this undesired practice is to 1) be aware that I am eating for comfort, not hunger, 2) give myself permission to comfort myself - as best as I can at that moment - food included, 3) turn my focus onto the food making sure I notice taste, texture and how my body is receiving it., and 4) taking a deep breath, see if I can go beyond the food to find what what it is that I really want for comfort - touch (hug), distance from X (hurting factor) OR if this act of eating is self punishment for whatever reason. That's a LOT to ask of one's self when caught in the clutches of hurt or anger, but like most of IE 'training' - taking little baby steps each time eventually turns into an assured 'way' that takes you where you really need to be. > > > > BEST to us all, Katcha > > IEing since March 2007 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Thanks :-) I later remembered the silly (but true?!?) ironical observation the the word desserts is stressed spelled backwards ;-) Makes me wonder if our bodies aren't also looking for a 'boost' (glucose hit) to deal with what is stressing us. Hmmmm. Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > > > For sure comforting one's self using food is common and feels effective at the moment of need. The trouble begins when guilt sets in for doing this as well as all the unpleasant after effects from excessive food intake. I also find myself doing this at stressful times - its such an 'automatic' reaction in a lot of ways. The only way I have been able to turn the tables on this undesired practice is to 1) be aware that I am eating for comfort, not hunger, 2) give myself permission to comfort myself - as best as I can at that moment - food included, 3) turn my focus onto the food making sure I notice taste, texture and how my body is receiving it., and 4) taking a deep breath, see if I can go beyond the food to find what what it is that I really want for comfort - touch (hug), distance from X (hurting factor) OR if this act of eating is self punishment for whatever reason. That's a LOT to ask of one's self when caught in the clutches of hurt or anger, but like most of IE 'training' - taking little baby steps each time eventually turns into an assured 'way' that takes you where you really need to be. > > > > BEST to us all, Katcha > > IEing since March 2007 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 1, 2011 Report Share Posted October 1, 2011 Thanks :-) I later remembered the silly (but true?!?) ironical observation the the word desserts is stressed spelled backwards ;-) Makes me wonder if our bodies aren't also looking for a 'boost' (glucose hit) to deal with what is stressing us. Hmmmm. Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > > > For sure comforting one's self using food is common and feels effective at the moment of need. The trouble begins when guilt sets in for doing this as well as all the unpleasant after effects from excessive food intake. I also find myself doing this at stressful times - its such an 'automatic' reaction in a lot of ways. The only way I have been able to turn the tables on this undesired practice is to 1) be aware that I am eating for comfort, not hunger, 2) give myself permission to comfort myself - as best as I can at that moment - food included, 3) turn my focus onto the food making sure I notice taste, texture and how my body is receiving it., and 4) taking a deep breath, see if I can go beyond the food to find what what it is that I really want for comfort - touch (hug), distance from X (hurting factor) OR if this act of eating is self punishment for whatever reason. That's a LOT to ask of one's self when caught in the clutches of hurt or anger, but like most of IE 'training' - taking little baby steps each time eventually turns into an assured 'way' that takes you where you really need to be. > > > > BEST to us all, Katcha > > IEing since March 2007 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.