Re: IE Questions

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

Wanted to thank everyone for welcoming me to the list here. I feel like I've

found a home away from home! I am new to the IE approach and have been

following it

since May 15th (today is my 4 months anniversary!) when I entered treatment. My

journey has been one of discovery and unlearning as well as re-learning and

feeling physically, emotionally and spiritually better.

I'm a long way from IE behaviors yet, right now I'm doing what my dietitians

called " mechanical eating " which is eating specific amounts of certain types of

nutrients at

certain times of the day. It's been very freeing in that there are NO more good

or bad foods, no " forbidden " things to abstain from, and no deprivation. I have

wanted

to act out in my ED a few times since May but have used DBT, positive self-talk

and distraction to cope thus far. I am really looking forward to working the

EDA program

with a sponsor and am looking for one currently. I'm going to EDA meetings in

my area but they are lax in that they allow crosstalk and advice giving and I'm

more used

to a structured meeting format like AA.

Again, I'm really glad to be here! Thanks to everyone for sharing….I love

reading everyone's shares!

Kerry

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

Wanted to thank everyone for welcoming me to the list here. I feel like I've

found a home away from home! I am new to the IE approach and have been

following it

since May 15th (today is my 4 months anniversary!) when I entered treatment. My

journey has been one of discovery and unlearning as well as re-learning and

feeling physically, emotionally and spiritually better.

I'm a long way from IE behaviors yet, right now I'm doing what my dietitians

called " mechanical eating " which is eating specific amounts of certain types of

nutrients at

certain times of the day. It's been very freeing in that there are NO more good

or bad foods, no " forbidden " things to abstain from, and no deprivation. I have

wanted

to act out in my ED a few times since May but have used DBT, positive self-talk

and distraction to cope thus far. I am really looking forward to working the

EDA program

with a sponsor and am looking for one currently. I'm going to EDA meetings in

my area but they are lax in that they allow crosstalk and advice giving and I'm

more used

to a structured meeting format like AA.

Again, I'm really glad to be here! Thanks to everyone for sharing….I love

reading everyone's shares!

Kerry

[Guest guest]

Nice question... I've been IEating for about six weeks. Have been on and off

every diet known to man and in and out of OA for decades. First diet at 12.

Many years ago I started my compulsive eating after the break up of a

relationship. That's also when I went into abject fear that I was utterly out

of control and the fear fed on the fear until I was in near terror about my

eating and what was going to come of me.

So, I started using laxatives when I binged. Eventually, after many years of

using them off and on, I stopped that and then yo-yo dieted. Eventually I got

into extreme dieting including fasting and liquid diets which would result in a

30 pound weight loss in a month. My weight didn't vary a tremendous amount,

amazingly, but it crept higher and higher with every diet failure until I

actually did become what I consider fat.

A friend invited me to a Geneen Roth workshop several years back but it didn't

take. In the past I'd read about normal eating, intuitive eating, etc. but felt

I would never be able to " control " my eating with just myself. I thought

willpower was the only way and that I just didn't have enough of it; so I felt I

had to have a plan and someone to make me follow it. I also believed I was

hopelessly addicted to cetain foods because I just couldn't stop once I started.

I did Overcoming Overeating about ten years ago but somehow used that as an

excuse to just eat and eat and eat.

Last year I bought an on-line workshop from Geneen Roth and never completed it.

Recently I ran into it in my saved files and started listening to it. I love

the things she says but couldn't get out of the esoteric and into the practical.

I was looking for an on-line support group on her philosophy but found this

instead. And, am so grateful for this site and the IE book. I have a bunch of

other IE kind of books on hand, but the proof isn't in the theories and ideas

and philosophies, it's in trusting one day at a time the steps to giving up food

rules, fear, perfectionism/control and diet thinking. For me.

My eating isn't " perfect " every day because I'm not on a diet and perfect eating

isn't what life is about - for me. I have already accepted that my relationship

with food will be faced every day for the rest of my life and that I can come to

relate to eating and food and my body image in a new, more centered and

authentic way.

The illusions I had about needing to achieve my perfect size, perfect look,

perfect health, perfect food plan were all just crazy attempts at ultimate

control - and living through images rather than inhabiting my life as me. No

rules, no diet police, no voice of authority other than me being with myself, my

body, and my willingness or lack of same to practice self care in any given

moment.

I don't believe that our/my balanced wisdom and innate appetites will take us

into ill health. But initially trusting the process of learning to feed the

hungry self was scarey and triggered all those phantoms from the programming I'd

come to accept as truth. That has abated and I no longer see myself as out of

control even with formerly forbidden foods, though I am sometimes still

overeating them or other foods. Though not like even two months ago. Not at

all. But, I'm also new with this and understand that a life-long pattern

doesn't go away in a few short weeks.

I do believe in the concept of " rigorous self honesty " and that we can lie to

ourselves about what we're doing with our IE tools and principles. I also

believe that success in IEating is part and parcel of a spiritual shift that the

Big Book talks about but that OA never achieved for me.

This, this sitting with myself, tasting my food, asking if I'm really hungry,

honoring what I want, checking to see if I'm full, sometimes eating more than

enough and letting that be ok because I'm still learning - that is spiritual

awakening stuff to me. It's a chance for me to come alive, rather than " go

unconscious " so that I could eat like I did when I was in between diets.

Thanks for the question.

Sandarah

>

> I love this board because I can identify so much with what everyone says, and

that helps me to know I'm not alone out here struggling with the eating issue.

>

> I've read a couple of books on IE, but would like to hear how you all

personally made the move from disordered eating to IE...Do you eat totally

whatever you feel like eating, or have somewhat of a plan to include a variety

of nutrients? How do you know when you are satiated, and how do you make

yourself stop at that point?

>

[Guest guest]

Nice question... I've been IEating for about six weeks. Have been on and off

every diet known to man and in and out of OA for decades. First diet at 12.

Many years ago I started my compulsive eating after the break up of a

relationship. That's also when I went into abject fear that I was utterly out

of control and the fear fed on the fear until I was in near terror about my

eating and what was going to come of me.

So, I started using laxatives when I binged. Eventually, after many years of

using them off and on, I stopped that and then yo-yo dieted. Eventually I got

into extreme dieting including fasting and liquid diets which would result in a

30 pound weight loss in a month. My weight didn't vary a tremendous amount,

amazingly, but it crept higher and higher with every diet failure until I

actually did become what I consider fat.

A friend invited me to a Geneen Roth workshop several years back but it didn't

take. In the past I'd read about normal eating, intuitive eating, etc. but felt

I would never be able to " control " my eating with just myself. I thought

willpower was the only way and that I just didn't have enough of it; so I felt I

had to have a plan and someone to make me follow it. I also believed I was

hopelessly addicted to cetain foods because I just couldn't stop once I started.

I did Overcoming Overeating about ten years ago but somehow used that as an

excuse to just eat and eat and eat.

Last year I bought an on-line workshop from Geneen Roth and never completed it.

Recently I ran into it in my saved files and started listening to it. I love

the things she says but couldn't get out of the esoteric and into the practical.

I was looking for an on-line support group on her philosophy but found this

instead. And, am so grateful for this site and the IE book. I have a bunch of

other IE kind of books on hand, but the proof isn't in the theories and ideas

and philosophies, it's in trusting one day at a time the steps to giving up food

rules, fear, perfectionism/control and diet thinking. For me.

My eating isn't " perfect " every day because I'm not on a diet and perfect eating

isn't what life is about - for me. I have already accepted that my relationship

with food will be faced every day for the rest of my life and that I can come to

relate to eating and food and my body image in a new, more centered and

authentic way.

The illusions I had about needing to achieve my perfect size, perfect look,

perfect health, perfect food plan were all just crazy attempts at ultimate

control - and living through images rather than inhabiting my life as me. No

rules, no diet police, no voice of authority other than me being with myself, my

body, and my willingness or lack of same to practice self care in any given

moment.

I don't believe that our/my balanced wisdom and innate appetites will take us

into ill health. But initially trusting the process of learning to feed the

hungry self was scarey and triggered all those phantoms from the programming I'd

come to accept as truth. That has abated and I no longer see myself as out of

control even with formerly forbidden foods, though I am sometimes still

overeating them or other foods. Though not like even two months ago. Not at

all. But, I'm also new with this and understand that a life-long pattern

doesn't go away in a few short weeks.

I do believe in the concept of " rigorous self honesty " and that we can lie to

ourselves about what we're doing with our IE tools and principles. I also

believe that success in IEating is part and parcel of a spiritual shift that the

Big Book talks about but that OA never achieved for me.

This, this sitting with myself, tasting my food, asking if I'm really hungry,

honoring what I want, checking to see if I'm full, sometimes eating more than

enough and letting that be ok because I'm still learning - that is spiritual

awakening stuff to me. It's a chance for me to come alive, rather than " go

unconscious " so that I could eat like I did when I was in between diets.

Thanks for the question.

Sandarah

>

> I love this board because I can identify so much with what everyone says, and

that helps me to know I'm not alone out here struggling with the eating issue.

>

> I've read a couple of books on IE, but would like to hear how you all

personally made the move from disordered eating to IE...Do you eat totally

whatever you feel like eating, or have somewhat of a plan to include a variety

of nutrients? How do you know when you are satiated, and how do you make

yourself stop at that point?

>

[Guest guest]

Sara,

I eat whatever I feel like at the time and my experience has been that even if I

have some really indulgent treat in the house, after a session or two of that, I

crave " healthy " food again. When I want a real meal, I tend to want to pick a

variety, without any in-depth nutritional planning. So I'll probably have a

protein, a starch, and some sort of produce, or at least 2 of those categories.

I know it's time to stop when that hunger drive disappears. It's the absence of

that pressure to eat, not the presence of some physical symptom, although I am

intrigued by several members mentioning a verbal sigh signalling satisfaction.

I keep meaning to watch for it. In fact, what I do is to pause after each bite

and note any bodily sensations. When the drive has faded, I take another bite

or two and stop.

Jane

>

>Do you eat totally whatever you feel like eating, or have somewhat of a plan to

include a variety of nutrients? How do you know when you are satiated, and how

do you make yourself stop at that point?

>

[Guest guest]

I was going to highlight parts of this, but I agree with everything. So beautifully said, I think this should be in the hall of "best posts" we have out there somewhere. I especially like the idea of inhabiting your life as you are instead of living in images. Absolutely. Images are how I used to live my life. I would achieve this ephemeral "perfection" once in a blue moon for about 5 minutes and the rest of my life was structured around chasing it. Thus the food plans, lists, counting, tallying, judging, re-starting, and despairing. Especially the re-starting and despairing. Every week was a new start and, eventually, a failure. How amazing and frightening to let go of that.

Mimi

Subject: Re: IE QuestionsTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, September 15, 2011, 11:08 PM

Nice question... I've been IEating for about six weeks. Have been on and off every diet known to man and in and out of OA for decades. First diet at 12. Many years ago I started my compulsive eating after the break up of a relationship. That's also when I went into abject fear that I was utterly out of control and the fear fed on the fear until I was in near terror about my eating and what was going to come of me. So, I started using laxatives when I binged. Eventually, after many years of using them off and on, I stopped that and then yo-yo dieted. Eventually I got into extreme dieting including fasting and liquid diets which would result in a 30 pound weight loss in a month. My weight didn't vary a tremendous amount, amazingly, but it crept higher and higher with every diet failure until I actually did become what I consider fat. A friend invited me to a Geneen Roth workshop several years back but it didn't take. In the past I'd

read about normal eating, intuitive eating, etc. but felt I would never be able to "control" my eating with just myself. I thought willpower was the only way and that I just didn't have enough of it; so I felt I had to have a plan and someone to make me follow it. I also believed I was hopelessly addicted to cetain foods because I just couldn't stop once I started. I did Overcoming Overeating about ten years ago but somehow used that as an excuse to just eat and eat and eat.Last year I bought an on-line workshop from Geneen Roth and never completed it. Recently I ran into it in my saved files and started listening to it. I love the things she says but couldn't get out of the esoteric and into the practical. I was looking for an on-line support group on her philosophy but found this instead. And, am so grateful for this site and the IE book. I have a bunch of other IE kind of books on hand, but the proof isn't in the theories and ideas and

philosophies, it's in trusting one day at a time the steps to giving up food rules, fear, perfectionism/control and diet thinking. For me.My eating isn't "perfect" every day because I'm not on a diet and perfect eating isn't what life is about - for me. I have already accepted that my relationship with food will be faced every day for the rest of my life and that I can come to relate to eating and food and my body image in a new, more centered and authentic way. The illusions I had about needing to achieve my perfect size, perfect look, perfect health, perfect food plan were all just crazy attempts at ultimate control - and living through images rather than inhabiting my life as me. No rules, no diet police, no voice of authority other than me being with myself, my body, and my willingness or lack of same to practice self care in any given moment. I don't believe that our/my balanced wisdom and innate appetites will take us into

ill health. But initially trusting the process of learning to feed the hungry self was scarey and triggered all those phantoms from the programming I'd come to accept as truth. That has abated and I no longer see myself as out of control even with formerly forbidden foods, though I am sometimes still overeating them or other foods. Though not like even two months ago. Not at all. But, I'm also new with this and understand that a life-long pattern doesn't go away in a few short weeks.I do believe in the concept of "rigorous self honesty" and that we can lie to ourselves about what we're doing with our IE tools and principles. I also believe that success in IEating is part and parcel of a spiritual shift that the Big Book talks about but that OA never achieved for me. This, this sitting with myself, tasting my food, asking if I'm really hungry, honoring what I want, checking to see if I'm full, sometimes eating more than enough and letting

that be ok because I'm still learning - that is spiritual awakening stuff to me. It's a chance for me to come alive, rather than "go unconscious" so that I could eat like I did when I was in between diets.Thanks for the question. Sandarah

[Guest guest]

I was going to highlight parts of this, but I agree with everything. So beautifully said, I think this should be in the hall of "best posts" we have out there somewhere. I especially like the idea of inhabiting your life as you are instead of living in images. Absolutely. Images are how I used to live my life. I would achieve this ephemeral "perfection" once in a blue moon for about 5 minutes and the rest of my life was structured around chasing it. Thus the food plans, lists, counting, tallying, judging, re-starting, and despairing. Especially the re-starting and despairing. Every week was a new start and, eventually, a failure. How amazing and frightening to let go of that.

Mimi

Subject: Re: IE QuestionsTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, September 15, 2011, 11:08 PM

Nice question... I've been IEating for about six weeks. Have been on and off every diet known to man and in and out of OA for decades. First diet at 12. Many years ago I started my compulsive eating after the break up of a relationship. That's also when I went into abject fear that I was utterly out of control and the fear fed on the fear until I was in near terror about my eating and what was going to come of me. So, I started using laxatives when I binged. Eventually, after many years of using them off and on, I stopped that and then yo-yo dieted. Eventually I got into extreme dieting including fasting and liquid diets which would result in a 30 pound weight loss in a month. My weight didn't vary a tremendous amount, amazingly, but it crept higher and higher with every diet failure until I actually did become what I consider fat. A friend invited me to a Geneen Roth workshop several years back but it didn't take. In the past I'd

read about normal eating, intuitive eating, etc. but felt I would never be able to "control" my eating with just myself. I thought willpower was the only way and that I just didn't have enough of it; so I felt I had to have a plan and someone to make me follow it. I also believed I was hopelessly addicted to cetain foods because I just couldn't stop once I started. I did Overcoming Overeating about ten years ago but somehow used that as an excuse to just eat and eat and eat.Last year I bought an on-line workshop from Geneen Roth and never completed it. Recently I ran into it in my saved files and started listening to it. I love the things she says but couldn't get out of the esoteric and into the practical. I was looking for an on-line support group on her philosophy but found this instead. And, am so grateful for this site and the IE book. I have a bunch of other IE kind of books on hand, but the proof isn't in the theories and ideas and

philosophies, it's in trusting one day at a time the steps to giving up food rules, fear, perfectionism/control and diet thinking. For me.My eating isn't "perfect" every day because I'm not on a diet and perfect eating isn't what life is about - for me. I have already accepted that my relationship with food will be faced every day for the rest of my life and that I can come to relate to eating and food and my body image in a new, more centered and authentic way. The illusions I had about needing to achieve my perfect size, perfect look, perfect health, perfect food plan were all just crazy attempts at ultimate control - and living through images rather than inhabiting my life as me. No rules, no diet police, no voice of authority other than me being with myself, my body, and my willingness or lack of same to practice self care in any given moment. I don't believe that our/my balanced wisdom and innate appetites will take us into

ill health. But initially trusting the process of learning to feed the hungry self was scarey and triggered all those phantoms from the programming I'd come to accept as truth. That has abated and I no longer see myself as out of control even with formerly forbidden foods, though I am sometimes still overeating them or other foods. Though not like even two months ago. Not at all. But, I'm also new with this and understand that a life-long pattern doesn't go away in a few short weeks.I do believe in the concept of "rigorous self honesty" and that we can lie to ourselves about what we're doing with our IE tools and principles. I also believe that success in IEating is part and parcel of a spiritual shift that the Big Book talks about but that OA never achieved for me. This, this sitting with myself, tasting my food, asking if I'm really hungry, honoring what I want, checking to see if I'm full, sometimes eating more than enough and letting

that be ok because I'm still learning - that is spiritual awakening stuff to me. It's a chance for me to come alive, rather than "go unconscious" so that I could eat like I did when I was in between diets.Thanks for the question. Sandarah

[Guest guest]

First I do appreciate your question. Its valid and honest. I would like to reply

in what may seem an off handed way - by what my (own) reactions to the question

of " ... plan to include a variety of nutrients. [etc.] "

We learn to walk holding onto our mother's hand, but we don't walk through our

lives continuing to hold onto mom! A 'plan' can be a good starting point, but

its so NOT what intuitive is all about. Which I have come to believe is TRUST of

self & actions for that.

Another image that sprang to my mind is picturing sitting at the table with all

the 'experts' - nutritionist, doctor, dear mom, best friend, lab scientist, diet

police etc. etc. standing around me all providing 'loving' and 'expert' advice

about MY eating. I will NEVER have peace with eating until I can quiet those

yammering voices and get back to the ONE voice I need to listen to and follow -

my own internal body driven one.

So do utilize whatever 'assistance' you can find and works FOR YOU. But I so

hope that you can be like any new toddler - soon yanking your hand away from

'mommie' and toddling forward ON YOUR OWN. Sure you will most likely land on

your (well padded) rump a lot at first, but that inner balance mechanism is

there and with the littlest of practice function for you for a lifetime.

BEST to you and ehugs too, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I love this board because I can identify so much with what everyone says, and

that helps me to know I'm not alone out here struggling with the eating issue.

>

> I've read a couple of books on IE, but would like to hear how you all

personally made the move from disordered eating to IE...Do you eat totally

whatever you feel like eating, or have somewhat of a plan to include a variety

of nutrients? How do you know when you are satiated, and how do you make

yourself stop at that point?

>

[Guest guest]

First I do appreciate your question. Its valid and honest. I would like to reply

in what may seem an off handed way - by what my (own) reactions to the question

of " ... plan to include a variety of nutrients. [etc.] "

We learn to walk holding onto our mother's hand, but we don't walk through our

lives continuing to hold onto mom! A 'plan' can be a good starting point, but

its so NOT what intuitive is all about. Which I have come to believe is TRUST of

self & actions for that.

Another image that sprang to my mind is picturing sitting at the table with all

the 'experts' - nutritionist, doctor, dear mom, best friend, lab scientist, diet

police etc. etc. standing around me all providing 'loving' and 'expert' advice

about MY eating. I will NEVER have peace with eating until I can quiet those

yammering voices and get back to the ONE voice I need to listen to and follow -

my own internal body driven one.

So do utilize whatever 'assistance' you can find and works FOR YOU. But I so

hope that you can be like any new toddler - soon yanking your hand away from

'mommie' and toddling forward ON YOUR OWN. Sure you will most likely land on

your (well padded) rump a lot at first, but that inner balance mechanism is

there and with the littlest of practice function for you for a lifetime.

BEST to you and ehugs too, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I love this board because I can identify so much with what everyone says, and

that helps me to know I'm not alone out here struggling with the eating issue.

>

> I've read a couple of books on IE, but would like to hear how you all

personally made the move from disordered eating to IE...Do you eat totally

whatever you feel like eating, or have somewhat of a plan to include a variety

of nutrients? How do you know when you are satiated, and how do you make

yourself stop at that point?

>

[Guest guest]

Sandarah, I too can credit my first awareness about NOT dieting to Ms. Roth's

writings as well as attending a seminar (workshop it wasn't for me). Much as I

wanted to embrace what she had to say, 'her' way just wasn't MY way and like

you, I ended up with a 'license to eat' which did me no good. It wasn't until I

found this support group (and other non/un dieting suggestions) that I found my

own way. I'm certainly not perfect with my eating but I have found peace and

encouragement to continue to sally forth, getting up after any and every stumble

or rebellious episode.

I'm happy that you and everyone else is 'here' - thank you all for being my

support and inspiring me with your own bravery and determination.

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> A friend invited me to a Geneen Roth workshop several years back but it didn't

take. In the past I'd read about normal eating, intuitive eating, etc. but felt

I would never be able to " control " my eating with just myself. I thought

willpower was the only way and that I just didn't have enough of it; so I felt I

had to have a plan and someone to make me follow it. I also believed I was

hopelessly addicted to cetain foods because I just couldn't stop once I started.

I did Overcoming Overeating about ten years ago but somehow used that as an

excuse to just eat and eat and eat.

>

> Last year I bought an on-line workshop from Geneen Roth and never completed

it. Recently I ran into it in my saved files and started listening to it. I

love the things she says but couldn't get out of the esoteric and into the

practical. I was looking for an on-line support group on her philosophy but

found this instead. And, am so grateful for this site and the IE book. I have

a bunch of other IE kind of books on hand, but the proof isn't in the theories

and ideas and philosophies, it's in trusting one day at a time the steps to

giving up food rules, fear, perfectionism/control and diet thinking. For me.

>

> Sandarah

[Guest guest]

Sandarah,

Sounds like you and I are in a similar space. I've been doing IE for 8 1/2

weeks and I too no longer feel " out of control, " although occasionally I realize

too late that I have gone beyond " not hungry " and am overfull a few minutes

later. I'm down 11-12 pounds, which is absolutely amazing for me, but even more

extraordinary is the fact that I am at peace with food! I've been morbidly

obese since early childhood and yet am relearning how to relate to food in

middle age.

I've been reading a variety of IE books and am at this point losing interest in

them. The best about food for me was " The Overfed Head. " The best about

learning to love my body, which has a bit less brass tacks about food, was " The

Body Love Manual. " Yesterday I finished McKenna's " I Can Make You Thin, "

which was full of psychological techniques like tapping and an hypnosis CD which

I found a bit silly and extraneous, not to mention the turn-off from the title

and general attitude of the author. I wouldn't have bothered if it weren't due

back at the library soon.

I still occasionally feel compulsive when confronted with plenty at a potluck or

buffet, because it wakes up the deprivation thinking, worrying I won't be able

to have any later. Funny, the same items on my kitchen counter cause no such

compulsivity, undoubtedly because I know I can have another serving whenever I

get hungry again, if I want it.

This does feel very much like a spiritual awakening, but it's a very personal

one. Right now at my church, there is a food recovery group for women which I

am NOT participating in, because I have read the book they're studying and it

basically lays a guilt trip on top of using self-control to follow a diet. I

don't have anyone in my usual circle of friends to discuss IE with, so I'm

really grateful for this listserv.

I've learned that overeating does NOT help calm my emotions when I am

stressed-out, and am in the trial-and-error stage with figuring out good

self-care around my emotions. I have proven to myself repeatedly that all food

fixes is hunger.

Jane

>

> Nice question... I've been IEating for about six weeks. Have been on and off

every diet known to man and in and out of OA for decades. First diet at 12.

Many years ago I started my compulsive eating after the break up of a

relationship. That's also when I went into abject fear that I was utterly out

of control and the fear fed on the fear until I was in near terror about my

eating and what was going to come of me.

>

> So, I started using laxatives when I binged. Eventually, after many years of

using them off and on, I stopped that and then yo-yo dieted. Eventually I got

into extreme dieting including fasting and liquid diets which would result in a

30 pound weight loss in a month. My weight didn't vary a tremendous amount,

amazingly, but it crept higher and higher with every diet failure until I

actually did become what I consider fat.

>

> A friend invited me to a Geneen Roth workshop several years back but it didn't

take. In the past I'd read about normal eating, intuitive eating, etc. but felt

I would never be able to " control " my eating with just myself. I thought

willpower was the only way and that I just didn't have enough of it; so I felt I

had to have a plan and someone to make me follow it. I also believed I was

hopelessly addicted to cetain foods because I just couldn't stop once I started.

I did Overcoming Overeating about ten years ago but somehow used that as an

excuse to just eat and eat and eat.

>

> Last year I bought an on-line workshop from Geneen Roth and never completed

it. Recently I ran into it in my saved files and started listening to it. I

love the things she says but couldn't get out of the esoteric and into the

practical. I was looking for an on-line support group on her philosophy but

found this instead. And, am so grateful for this site and the IE book. I have

a bunch of other IE kind of books on hand, but the proof isn't in the theories

and ideas and philosophies, it's in trusting one day at a time the steps to

giving up food rules, fear, perfectionism/control and diet thinking. For me.

>

> My eating isn't " perfect " every day because I'm not on a diet and perfect

eating isn't what life is about - for me. I have already accepted that my

relationship with food will be faced every day for the rest of my life and that

I can come to relate to eating and food and my body image in a new, more

centered and authentic way.

>

> The illusions I had about needing to achieve my perfect size, perfect look,

perfect health, perfect food plan were all just crazy attempts at ultimate

control - and living through images rather than inhabiting my life as me. No

rules, no diet police, no voice of authority other than me being with myself, my

body, and my willingness or lack of same to practice self care in any given

moment.

>

> I don't believe that our/my balanced wisdom and innate appetites will take us

into ill health. But initially trusting the process of learning to feed the

hungry self was scarey and triggered all those phantoms from the programming I'd

come to accept as truth. That has abated and I no longer see myself as out of

control even with formerly forbidden foods, though I am sometimes still

overeating them or other foods. Though not like even two months ago. Not at

all. But, I'm also new with this and understand that a life-long pattern

doesn't go away in a few short weeks.

>

> I do believe in the concept of " rigorous self honesty " and that we can lie to

ourselves about what we're doing with our IE tools and principles. I also

believe that success in IEating is part and parcel of a spiritual shift that the

Big Book talks about but that OA never achieved for me.

>

> This, this sitting with myself, tasting my food, asking if I'm really hungry,

honoring what I want, checking to see if I'm full, sometimes eating more than

enough and letting that be ok because I'm still learning - that is spiritual

awakening stuff to me. It's a chance for me to come alive, rather than " go

unconscious " so that I could eat like I did when I was in between diets.

>

> Thanks for the question.

>

> Sandarah

>

[Guest guest]

(I did warn you guys that I was long winded, right? Okay, just making sure.

Here we go... LOL)

My journey to IE actually happened in two separate instances, but I'll give you

the backstory first. I've always felt like I was fat, but when I look back at

old photos, I realize that for most of my youth, I could have stood to lose 10,

*maybe* 20 pounds at points, but I was nowhere near as fat as I thought. I

think part of the issue was that I grew fast and was almost always one of the

tallest in my class (I reached my current height of 5'9 " when I was 12). I also

have a fair amount of muscle and a good-size frame. So I *was* bigger than the

other kids and I translated that as fat.

The first time I remember restricting food was in about the third or fourth

grade. I did it off and on (always secretly, cause I didn't want people to know

I was dieting) throughout high school. In college, my freshman 15 was a

freshman 20. I lost that weight when I spent a semester studying in France in

my junior year (my most intuitive living, ever, but that's a long story for

another day), but gained it all back plus some while stressing over exams in my

senior year. Gained another 20 the year after college when I was stressed out

because I couldn't find a job. Then went to grad school and mostly maintained

until I started my current job and then I gradually gained little by little

every year until I reached my current weight. The serious dieting started after

college and from then until now, I pretty much did EVERY SINGLE diet that ever

existed, regaining after every one. The only thing I can say I never did is

Craig or NutriSystem, only because when I really wanted to, I couldn't

afford them, and by the time I could afford them, I'd heard from too many other

people that the food sucked! LOL

I first tried IE about 15 years ago when I found the Tribole and Resch book in

the bookstore. It actually worked for me and I was having success at it, but

felt it was too slow and started dieting again so I could " lose faster " (ha!).

At that time, though, I really was thinking of it more as a diet than how I

think of it now. Around the same time, I also became aware of Geneen Roth and

scanned a couple of her books at a bookstore, but she seemed so focused on

emotional eating and I was convinced that I wasn't an emotional eater, so I

never bought any of her books back then.

Fast forward to last July. I'd been a member of Spark People for almost two

years and had joined and quit Weight Watchers twice during that time (I tried WW

nine separate times over 20 years!). I literally lost and regained the same

10-20 pounds probably a dozen times during that two years. It was starting to

make me super crazy. And for some reason, I remembered the Tribole and Resche

book, which I'd hung on to all those years and which had actually been packed

away in a box in storage. So I dug it out and started re-reading it and

remembered that I had actually really liked it the first time around. Then I

started looking for more books on IE and found the Michele May book and liked

that too. So I decided to try it again. Around the same time, I found a local

one day workshop given by the woman who is now my therapist and attended that.

Also around that time, Women, Food, and God was so huge and I saw Geneen on

Oprah and I decided to get the book, and that really spoke to me. I ended up

attending one of her weekend workshops, which I thought was totally awesome.

I'm now a big fan of her work.

With all of that, I started off doing really well, even lost a few pounds, but

then I hit a big wall by October (think it was job stress combined with really

still treating IE too much like another diet, so I was rebelling against the

" rules " ). I started just eating and eating and eating and gaining and I

panicked and that's when I started seeing my therapist privately. I was afraid

I was totally out of control and would just balloon into 400 pounds if I didn't

do something drastic, but I knew I couldn't go back to dieting.

Since then, I've had a lot of ups and downs (mostly related to a super stressful

job), but I'm in a good place now and continuing to work with my therapist and a

nutritionist that is part of her practice. I see both of them, on average, once

a month.

Personally, at this point, I really try to focus on eating what I want, even

though often, it may be junk food. Even though, logically, I know everything is

allowed, a lot of things still feel forbidden to me, so they still hold a lot of

appeal and I'm giving myself permission to eat them if I really want but trying

to focus on whether or not I'm truly hungry and when I'm satisfied.

I don't worry much about nutrition. I figure that for almost 45 years I ate

mostly junk food, interspersed with eating " diet " food that was low calorie, but

not necessarily nutritionally a whole lot better than the junk food (chemicals!

Artificial sweetners! Fillers! Ugh!!!). If I'm not dead or dying of vitamin

deficiencies after all of that, I don't figure a few more months, or even years

of not getting perfect nutrition all the time is going to do me in. Besides,

although I do eat far more junk food than I'd like, I'm actually really into

wholesome foods, too (as I said in one of my previous posts, I'm pretty

schizophrenic about food). I'm finding that after what felt like a really long

time of eating junk, I'm starting to want more nutritious foods again, so I

think I'm getting to the point where the " forbidden " foods are starting to not

feel quite so forbidden and therefore I don't need to eat as much of them as

before.

As for knowing when I'm satisfied, I describe it as a neutral feeling. I'm no

longer hungry, but I don't yet feel the food in my stomach. I'm actually pretty

good at knowing when that point is, unless I eat too fast, then it's easy to eat

past it without realizing it. Now, how do I stop?? There's the $64,000

question!! That's my hardest struggle. Often, I *know* when the point is that

I should be stopping, but I totally don't want to stop. And often, I still

don't. My therapist said that's the hardest part of the process for most

people. For now, I try to control it by serving myself less so I'm at least not

getting so stuffed anymore. But I know I still eat more than I should (though

much less than I used to, most of the time, so progress!).

Okay, well, I've rambled long enough. I'll leave it at that.

Great question, Sara.

Josie >)

>

> I love this board because I can identify so much with what everyone says, and

that helps me to know I'm not alone out here struggling with the eating issue.

>

> I've read a couple of books on IE, but would like to hear how you all

personally made the move from disordered eating to IE...Do you eat totally

whatever you feel like eating, or have somewhat of a plan to include a variety

of nutrients? How do you know when you are satiated, and how do you make

yourself stop at that point?

>

[Guest guest]

(I did warn you guys that I was long winded, right? Okay, just making sure.

Here we go... LOL)

My journey to IE actually happened in two separate instances, but I'll give you

the backstory first. I've always felt like I was fat, but when I look back at

old photos, I realize that for most of my youth, I could have stood to lose 10,

*maybe* 20 pounds at points, but I was nowhere near as fat as I thought. I

think part of the issue was that I grew fast and was almost always one of the

tallest in my class (I reached my current height of 5'9 " when I was 12). I also

have a fair amount of muscle and a good-size frame. So I *was* bigger than the

other kids and I translated that as fat.

The first time I remember restricting food was in about the third or fourth

grade. I did it off and on (always secretly, cause I didn't want people to know

I was dieting) throughout high school. In college, my freshman 15 was a

freshman 20. I lost that weight when I spent a semester studying in France in

my junior year (my most intuitive living, ever, but that's a long story for

another day), but gained it all back plus some while stressing over exams in my

senior year. Gained another 20 the year after college when I was stressed out

because I couldn't find a job. Then went to grad school and mostly maintained

until I started my current job and then I gradually gained little by little

every year until I reached my current weight. The serious dieting started after

college and from then until now, I pretty much did EVERY SINGLE diet that ever

existed, regaining after every one. The only thing I can say I never did is

Craig or NutriSystem, only because when I really wanted to, I couldn't

afford them, and by the time I could afford them, I'd heard from too many other

people that the food sucked! LOL

I first tried IE about 15 years ago when I found the Tribole and Resch book in

the bookstore. It actually worked for me and I was having success at it, but

felt it was too slow and started dieting again so I could " lose faster " (ha!).

At that time, though, I really was thinking of it more as a diet than how I

think of it now. Around the same time, I also became aware of Geneen Roth and

scanned a couple of her books at a bookstore, but she seemed so focused on

emotional eating and I was convinced that I wasn't an emotional eater, so I

never bought any of her books back then.

Fast forward to last July. I'd been a member of Spark People for almost two

years and had joined and quit Weight Watchers twice during that time (I tried WW

nine separate times over 20 years!). I literally lost and regained the same

10-20 pounds probably a dozen times during that two years. It was starting to

make me super crazy. And for some reason, I remembered the Tribole and Resche

book, which I'd hung on to all those years and which had actually been packed

away in a box in storage. So I dug it out and started re-reading it and

remembered that I had actually really liked it the first time around. Then I

started looking for more books on IE and found the Michele May book and liked

that too. So I decided to try it again. Around the same time, I found a local

one day workshop given by the woman who is now my therapist and attended that.

Also around that time, Women, Food, and God was so huge and I saw Geneen on

Oprah and I decided to get the book, and that really spoke to me. I ended up

attending one of her weekend workshops, which I thought was totally awesome.

I'm now a big fan of her work.

With all of that, I started off doing really well, even lost a few pounds, but

then I hit a big wall by October (think it was job stress combined with really

still treating IE too much like another diet, so I was rebelling against the

" rules " ). I started just eating and eating and eating and gaining and I

panicked and that's when I started seeing my therapist privately. I was afraid

I was totally out of control and would just balloon into 400 pounds if I didn't

do something drastic, but I knew I couldn't go back to dieting.

Since then, I've had a lot of ups and downs (mostly related to a super stressful

job), but I'm in a good place now and continuing to work with my therapist and a

nutritionist that is part of her practice. I see both of them, on average, once

a month.

Personally, at this point, I really try to focus on eating what I want, even

though often, it may be junk food. Even though, logically, I know everything is

allowed, a lot of things still feel forbidden to me, so they still hold a lot of

appeal and I'm giving myself permission to eat them if I really want but trying

to focus on whether or not I'm truly hungry and when I'm satisfied.

I don't worry much about nutrition. I figure that for almost 45 years I ate

mostly junk food, interspersed with eating " diet " food that was low calorie, but

not necessarily nutritionally a whole lot better than the junk food (chemicals!

Artificial sweetners! Fillers! Ugh!!!). If I'm not dead or dying of vitamin

deficiencies after all of that, I don't figure a few more months, or even years

of not getting perfect nutrition all the time is going to do me in. Besides,

although I do eat far more junk food than I'd like, I'm actually really into

wholesome foods, too (as I said in one of my previous posts, I'm pretty

schizophrenic about food). I'm finding that after what felt like a really long

time of eating junk, I'm starting to want more nutritious foods again, so I

think I'm getting to the point where the " forbidden " foods are starting to not

feel quite so forbidden and therefore I don't need to eat as much of them as

before.

As for knowing when I'm satisfied, I describe it as a neutral feeling. I'm no

longer hungry, but I don't yet feel the food in my stomach. I'm actually pretty

good at knowing when that point is, unless I eat too fast, then it's easy to eat

past it without realizing it. Now, how do I stop?? There's the $64,000

question!! That's my hardest struggle. Often, I *know* when the point is that

I should be stopping, but I totally don't want to stop. And often, I still

don't. My therapist said that's the hardest part of the process for most

people. For now, I try to control it by serving myself less so I'm at least not

getting so stuffed anymore. But I know I still eat more than I should (though

much less than I used to, most of the time, so progress!).

Okay, well, I've rambled long enough. I'll leave it at that.

Great question, Sara.

Josie >)

>

> I love this board because I can identify so much with what everyone says, and

that helps me to know I'm not alone out here struggling with the eating issue.

>

> I've read a couple of books on IE, but would like to hear how you all

personally made the move from disordered eating to IE...Do you eat totally

whatever you feel like eating, or have somewhat of a plan to include a variety

of nutrients? How do you know when you are satiated, and how do you make

yourself stop at that point?

>