Re: Re: Has the BPD in your life ever made you feel physically ill?

[Guest guest]

, you've just said something that I am very curious about! " I

swear they have an effect on my immune system " . I think there's something

to that.

I have endometriosis, which is a poorly understood condition but more

research is leaning towards it having some kind of immune aspect. It also

has a hereditary link, but I know no other women in my family with it. Then

again, I don't think my nada would go to the doctor unless possibly she was

bleeding from her eyes. And with her giant walls (read: Hermit BPD traits),

she would never let me in to tell me if she had ever had issues like I do.

Mind you, all the time I was trying to get a diagnosis & find out what the

heck was going on, she was telling me " it's all in your F*** head! You're

just doing this for attention! " Etc. Well nada, it's not all in my head, and

no, this is not my idea of the type of attention I would prefer!

Oddly enough, women with endo are also at higher risk for co morbidity of

IBS and Fibromyalgia too... two more poorly understood conditions of which I

also have, which also may have an immune link. Crazy. There is actually a

higher risk for autoimmune disorders such as Lupus & MS as well in women

with endo. So far I have no issues with either of those and let's hope I

never do! I'm all ready a walking medical malfunction lol.

I swear I feel like a hypochondriac sometimes with all this bull, but I

really really do wonder if there is a link there to immunity & abuse. I

should head up to my school & see if I can find some research on it because

it's been on my mind a lot with me sitting out of school due to health

issues.

I did read one study that found that survivors of child abuse are twice as

likely to have gastrointestinal (GI) disorders than those who were not

abused. IBS is obviously a GI issue.

Things that make me go " hmmmmm "

Anyway, sorry... not trying to be like some of our nadas here & get too

personal about my own health issues, but I think it's relevant to the topic

and is something that I've often found myself wondering about.

But yeah, the nausea last night was pretty bad. I ended up going to bed

pretty early because I just felt so sick to my stomach after fiance had to

deal with his likely BPD ex wife. My T says she thinks his ex is triggering

me because she's so much like my nada... I think she's absolutely right.

Mia

On Mon, Jan 3, 2011 at 10:04 AM, christine.depizan <

christine.depizan@...> wrote:

>

>

> Yes,definitely! Many,many times.Dealing with nada and fada in adulthood has

> often made me want throw up and in fact a few times I actually have.As a

> kid,too---but the nausea reaction never went away.

>

> I've also had migraines from dealing with them and have caught the flu.The

> last time I saw my brother,a couple of years ago,I came down with the flu

> immediately afterward although I handled our encounter (necessary having to

> do with fada's will) quite well and was proud of myself.I swear they have an

> effect on my immune system.

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Just wondering. I had that experience last night after fiance had to deal

> > with his likely BPD ex wife. I've also felt nauseous in the past after

> > dealing with my nada.

> >

> > Just wondering if I'm alone or if others have had this unpleasant

> > experience.

> >

> > Mia

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

, you've just said something that I am very curious about! " I

swear they have an effect on my immune system " . I think there's something

to that.

I have endometriosis, which is a poorly understood condition but more

research is leaning towards it having some kind of immune aspect. It also

has a hereditary link, but I know no other women in my family with it. Then

again, I don't think my nada would go to the doctor unless possibly she was

bleeding from her eyes. And with her giant walls (read: Hermit BPD traits),

she would never let me in to tell me if she had ever had issues like I do.

Mind you, all the time I was trying to get a diagnosis & find out what the

heck was going on, she was telling me " it's all in your F*** head! You're

just doing this for attention! " Etc. Well nada, it's not all in my head, and

no, this is not my idea of the type of attention I would prefer!

Oddly enough, women with endo are also at higher risk for co morbidity of

IBS and Fibromyalgia too... two more poorly understood conditions of which I

also have, which also may have an immune link. Crazy. There is actually a

higher risk for autoimmune disorders such as Lupus & MS as well in women

with endo. So far I have no issues with either of those and let's hope I

never do! I'm all ready a walking medical malfunction lol.

I swear I feel like a hypochondriac sometimes with all this bull, but I

really really do wonder if there is a link there to immunity & abuse. I

should head up to my school & see if I can find some research on it because

it's been on my mind a lot with me sitting out of school due to health

issues.

I did read one study that found that survivors of child abuse are twice as

likely to have gastrointestinal (GI) disorders than those who were not

abused. IBS is obviously a GI issue.

Things that make me go " hmmmmm "

Anyway, sorry... not trying to be like some of our nadas here & get too

personal about my own health issues, but I think it's relevant to the topic

and is something that I've often found myself wondering about.

But yeah, the nausea last night was pretty bad. I ended up going to bed

pretty early because I just felt so sick to my stomach after fiance had to

deal with his likely BPD ex wife. My T says she thinks his ex is triggering

me because she's so much like my nada... I think she's absolutely right.

Mia

On Mon, Jan 3, 2011 at 10:04 AM, christine.depizan <

christine.depizan@...> wrote:

>

>

> Yes,definitely! Many,many times.Dealing with nada and fada in adulthood has

> often made me want throw up and in fact a few times I actually have.As a

> kid,too---but the nausea reaction never went away.

>

> I've also had migraines from dealing with them and have caught the flu.The

> last time I saw my brother,a couple of years ago,I came down with the flu

> immediately afterward although I handled our encounter (necessary having to

> do with fada's will) quite well and was proud of myself.I swear they have an

> effect on my immune system.

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Just wondering. I had that experience last night after fiance had to deal

> > with his likely BPD ex wife. I've also felt nauseous in the past after

> > dealing with my nada.

> >

> > Just wondering if I'm alone or if others have had this unpleasant

> > experience.

> >

> > Mia

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

, you've just said something that I am very curious about! " I

swear they have an effect on my immune system " . I think there's something

to that.

I have endometriosis, which is a poorly understood condition but more

research is leaning towards it having some kind of immune aspect. It also

has a hereditary link, but I know no other women in my family with it. Then

again, I don't think my nada would go to the doctor unless possibly she was

bleeding from her eyes. And with her giant walls (read: Hermit BPD traits),

she would never let me in to tell me if she had ever had issues like I do.

Mind you, all the time I was trying to get a diagnosis & find out what the

heck was going on, she was telling me " it's all in your F*** head! You're

just doing this for attention! " Etc. Well nada, it's not all in my head, and

no, this is not my idea of the type of attention I would prefer!

Oddly enough, women with endo are also at higher risk for co morbidity of

IBS and Fibromyalgia too... two more poorly understood conditions of which I

also have, which also may have an immune link. Crazy. There is actually a

higher risk for autoimmune disorders such as Lupus & MS as well in women

with endo. So far I have no issues with either of those and let's hope I

never do! I'm all ready a walking medical malfunction lol.

I swear I feel like a hypochondriac sometimes with all this bull, but I

really really do wonder if there is a link there to immunity & abuse. I

should head up to my school & see if I can find some research on it because

it's been on my mind a lot with me sitting out of school due to health

issues.

I did read one study that found that survivors of child abuse are twice as

likely to have gastrointestinal (GI) disorders than those who were not

abused. IBS is obviously a GI issue.

Things that make me go " hmmmmm "

Anyway, sorry... not trying to be like some of our nadas here & get too

personal about my own health issues, but I think it's relevant to the topic

and is something that I've often found myself wondering about.

But yeah, the nausea last night was pretty bad. I ended up going to bed

pretty early because I just felt so sick to my stomach after fiance had to

deal with his likely BPD ex wife. My T says she thinks his ex is triggering

me because she's so much like my nada... I think she's absolutely right.

Mia

On Mon, Jan 3, 2011 at 10:04 AM, christine.depizan <

christine.depizan@...> wrote:

>

>

> Yes,definitely! Many,many times.Dealing with nada and fada in adulthood has

> often made me want throw up and in fact a few times I actually have.As a

> kid,too---but the nausea reaction never went away.

>

> I've also had migraines from dealing with them and have caught the flu.The

> last time I saw my brother,a couple of years ago,I came down with the flu

> immediately afterward although I handled our encounter (necessary having to

> do with fada's will) quite well and was proud of myself.I swear they have an

> effect on my immune system.

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Just wondering. I had that experience last night after fiance had to deal

> > with his likely BPD ex wife. I've also felt nauseous in the past after

> > dealing with my nada.

> >

> > Just wondering if I'm alone or if others have had this unpleasant

> > experience.

> >

> > Mia

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I should clarify: I know that not all women with endo were abused (far from

it!). So I'm not trying to make that correlation. I'm just wondering if

there is some link and using my own situation as an example. I guess I

can't explain it without going into too much detail about the possibility of

endo having some kind of immune aspect. Anyway, just wanted to make sure no

one thought I was trying to say that all women with endo were abuse, because

I know that's not the case at all.

Just my weird mind rambling about my own theory that abuse could cause

immune issues.

Mia

> , you've just said something that I am very curious about! " I

> swear they have an effect on my immune system " . I think there's something

> to that.

>

> I have endometriosis, which is a poorly understood condition but more

> research is leaning towards it having some kind of immune aspect. It also

> has a hereditary link, but I know no other women in my family with it. Then

> again, I don't think my nada would go to the doctor unless possibly she was

> bleeding from her eyes. And with her giant walls (read: Hermit BPD traits),

> she would never let me in to tell me if she had ever had issues like I do.

> Mind you, all the time I was trying to get a diagnosis & find out what the

> heck was going on, she was telling me " it's all in your F*** head! You're

> just doing this for attention! " Etc. Well nada, it's not all in my head, and

> no, this is not my idea of the type of attention I would prefer!

>

> Oddly enough, women with endo are also at higher risk for co morbidity of

> IBS and Fibromyalgia too... two more poorly understood conditions of which I

> also have, which also may have an immune link. Crazy. There is actually a

> higher risk for autoimmune disorders such as Lupus & MS as well in women

> with endo. So far I have no issues with either of those and let's hope I

> never do! I'm all ready a walking medical malfunction lol.

>

> I swear I feel like a hypochondriac sometimes with all this bull, but I

> really really do wonder if there is a link there to immunity & abuse. I

> should head up to my school & see if I can find some research on it because

> it's been on my mind a lot with me sitting out of school due to health

> issues.

>

> I did read one study that found that survivors of child abuse are twice as

> likely to have gastrointestinal (GI) disorders than those who were not

> abused. IBS is obviously a GI issue.

>

> Things that make me go " hmmmmm "

>

> Anyway, sorry... not trying to be like some of our nadas here & get too

> personal about my own health issues, but I think it's relevant to the topic

> and is something that I've often found myself wondering about.

>

> But yeah, the nausea last night was pretty bad. I ended up going to bed

> pretty early because I just felt so sick to my stomach after fiance had to

> deal with his likely BPD ex wife. My T says she thinks his ex is triggering

> me because she's so much like my nada... I think she's absolutely right.

>

> Mia

>

> On Mon, Jan 3, 2011 at 10:04 AM, christine.depizan <

> christine.depizan@...> wrote:

>

>>

>>

>> Yes,definitely! Many,many times.Dealing with nada and fada in adulthood

>> has often made me want throw up and in fact a few times I actually have.As a

>> kid,too---but the nausea reaction never went away.

>>

>> I've also had migraines from dealing with them and have caught the flu.The

>> last time I saw my brother,a couple of years ago,I came down with the flu

>> immediately afterward although I handled our encounter (necessary having to

>> do with fada's will) quite well and was proud of myself.I swear they have an

>> effect on my immune system.

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>> >

>> > Just wondering. I had that experience last night after fiance had to

>> deal

>> > with his likely BPD ex wife. I've also felt nauseous in the past after

>> > dealing with my nada.

>> >

>> > Just wondering if I'm alone or if others have had this unpleasant

>> > experience.

>> >

>> > Mia

>> >

>> >

>> >

[Guest guest]

Strange... like you with the flu, I had bronchitis repeatedly as a kid. I

so should not smoke! (Not that anyone should). I was planning on quitting

while I await surgery (which is next Tuesday... yes, I'm getting nervous)

but no luck. I will likely have a 3 day hospital stay so I guess I'll be

quitting there. Wonder if they will let me have the patch or something.

Again, trying to be delicate as to not gross anyone out. But like you, my

first period was also traumatic. Lots of pain even then, but nada had not

talked to me about it and everything I knew about it was from " sex ed " in

school or from my friends. Greaaaat.

Sorry you had such troubles with GYNs. I'm in the same boat. It took me 4

until I found one that is worth her weight in gold. I had such a hard time

with my 1st one, she like nada said " it's all in your head " . #2 finally did

surgery to diagnose. It was crazy. It takes 9 years on average for a woman

to get a correct diagnosis, it's disgusting to me that it takes that long.

Took me 13 years.

Yes, stress does effect us physiologically. I have heard of it interfering

with a woman's cycle many times. I'm glad you were able to get ahold of

your stress which sounds like it helped!

That's such a big thing I think for many of us to learn... we lived under

constant stress, we're used to it... we have a higher threshold, I think,

for it. So it's no wonder that even when we think we have it under control

our bodies say otherwise.

I really want to try yoga for stress relief when I recover from my surgery.

I think it sounds fantastic!

Mia

On Mon, Jan 3, 2011 at 12:20 PM, christine.depizan <

christine.depizan@...> wrote:

>

>

> It makes sense to me... I know that fibro in particular has been linked to

> child abuse.Since stress depresses the immune system it would make sense (if

> tragic sense) that experiencing the prolonged and extreme stress of child

> abuse while the body is actually developing would impact the immune system

> itself.

>

> I had the flu ALOT growing up and now my body seems to perceive my family

> as sort of " flu germs " sometimes,at least it seems that way to me although

> I'm sure that isn't very scientific What's probably happening is a

> cascade of stress that lowers my immunity and whatever little germ is around

> that I could normally fight off rides in on that cascade.

>

> I don't have endo but I've always had extremely painful periods,and when I

> first got my period was traumatized,so I think that for me there is

> definitely a link.There is also the matter of " body memory " : trauma stored

> in different parts of the body.When I got that promotion I was under so much

> stress that I started to get my period over and over and over again.Two

> gynos later and nothing could be found wrong with me that could be causing

> it.They both suggested it was " psychological " which is like the same as

> saying " you're a hysteric,lady " and was so frustrating...they also suggested

> that I go on the pill,which I didn't happen to need...but anyway once I

> adjusted to living with the stress my periods went back to normal.

>

>

>

> >

> >

> > > , you've just said something that I am very curious about! " I

> > > swear they have an effect on my immune system " . I think there's

> something

> > > to that.

> > >

> > > I have endometriosis, which is a poorly understood condition but more

> > > research is leaning towards it having some kind of immune aspect. It

> also

> > > has a hereditary link, but I know no other women in my family with it.

> Then

> > > again, I don't think my nada would go to the doctor unless possibly she

> was

> > > bleeding from her eyes. And with her giant walls (read: Hermit BPD

> traits),

> > > she would never let me in to tell me if she had ever had issues like I

> do.

> > > Mind you, all the time I was trying to get a diagnosis & find out what

> the

> > > heck was going on, she was telling me " it's all in your F*** head!

> You're

> > > just doing this for attention! " Etc. Well nada, it's not all in my

> head, and

> > > no, this is not my idea of the type of attention I would prefer!

> > >

> > > Oddly enough, women with endo are also at higher risk for co morbidity

> of

> > > IBS and Fibromyalgia too... two more poorly understood conditions of

> which I

> > > also have, which also may have an immune link. Crazy. There is actually

> a

> > > higher risk for autoimmune disorders such as Lupus & MS as well in

> women

> > > with endo. So far I have no issues with either of those and let's hope

> I

> > > never do! I'm all ready a walking medical malfunction lol.

> > >

> > > I swear I feel like a hypochondriac sometimes with all this bull, but I

> > > really really do wonder if there is a link there to immunity & abuse. I

> > > should head up to my school & see if I can find some research on it

> because

> > > it's been on my mind a lot with me sitting out of school due to health

> > > issues.

> > >

> > > I did read one study that found that survivors of child abuse are twice

> as

> > > likely to have gastrointestinal (GI) disorders than those who were not

> > > abused. IBS is obviously a GI issue.

> > >

> > > Things that make me go " hmmmmm "

> > >

> > > Anyway, sorry... not trying to be like some of our nadas here & get too

> > > personal about my own health issues, but I think it's relevant to the

> topic

> > > and is something that I've often found myself wondering about.

> > >

> > > But yeah, the nausea last night was pretty bad. I ended up going to bed

> > > pretty early because I just felt so sick to my stomach after fiance had

> to

> > > deal with his likely BPD ex wife. My T says she thinks his ex is

> triggering

> > > me because she's so much like my nada... I think she's absolutely

> right.

> > >

> > > Mia

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

*HUGS* to you espresso beany! I can very much relate to what you're saying

about the anxiety & panic. And I'm so sorry your nada put you through hell

with your weight. 128 lbs at 5'4 " is sure not fat! It really is a shame

what we must do as children to " please " them... and it never does.

As for the panic attacks & cPTSD, it can get better. I used to have the

worst case of cPTSD... granted I'm still dealing with issues, but I used to

have panic attacks like you described & even hallucinate. I had audio

hallucinations that were of things nada said, but in this really awful &

creepy demonic voice. *shudder*... I haven't had those in about 2 years

THANK GOD.

Hopefully you're talking to a therapist too who is hopefully teaching you

some techniques to lessen the anxiety. The ones that happened to work well

for me were just simple deep breathing, which I was told to practice even

when I wasn't anxious, that when when I did become anxious or start

panicking, it would be easier to do the deep breathing and seem more natural

to me. Another has been what my T calls light stream, where you close your

eyes & relax and envision your body being filled with a warm light of

whatever color you chose. I swear, when I do that I can feel it slowly

filling my head, moving down my neck & so on lol. I find it helpful. I also

try to meditate as often as I can before bed. This usually helps me sleep

better.

I know it's so hard to have those panic attacks & all of the other nonsense

that we deal with from having nadas and/or fadas, but it can get better. For

me it's been 20 months NC with my nada, and yes I still have FOG and

fleas... it happens, but I really think if I continue to work on changing

how I look at things and think about things it can get better.

Thanks for sharing your story with us. I believe that you CAN overcome this

=)

Mia

>

[Guest guest]

How awful. NO one deserves that!

>

>

> Absolutely relate to the weight issue.

>

> When I was 8 my nada took me to our doctor who always seemed taken with my

> nada and they would, as I see it now, flirt back and forth outrageously.

> Forget he was married to someone else and she was married to my father!

> Anyway she took me there for 'diet pills' because I was 'fat'. The doctor

> weighed me and pronounced I was 5 lbs. overweight for my large frame and my

> nada went ballistic in front of him calling me 'fatso' and how she was 'so

> embarrassed by me' as she was 'such a good mother and a perfect role model

> for me and how could I be fat when she controlled every little thing I ate.

> She didn't have to beg the doctor for diet pills though as he willingly gave

> them to her to give to me. These were, of course, amphetamines and as it

> turned out very dangerous to give a child of 8. Nada didn't care. She force

> fed me two a day (I was supposed to take only one the doctor said) and yes I

> lost the five pounds and then some because she took me back to the doctor a

> month later to 'check on it'. In the meantime I was hyper (something I never

> was); couldn't sleep; very nervous; it gave me crying jags for no reason

> (for which nada would beat me for as she was 'knocking the tears out of me'

> 'you are not to express yourself in any way emotionally do you HEAR me " she

> would say. I couldn't concentrate at school. I was a mess. She asked the

> doctor for more diet pills for me and he refused this time saying I was 'too

> thin'. I had never been 'too thin' and nada was angry at him. She slammed

> his office door and took me out of there. When I got home, she gave me a

> beating she said I would never forget because I had 'embarrassed her' and

> now she couldn't take me there. Huh?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh my gosh, that is just awful!! How messed up is that?! (very!!!) Nice of

that doctor to just prescribe some pills for a child FIVE POUNDS over weght,

who's still growing, etc... In my humble opinion, what he did is

malpractice. And what she did, no excuse for that. That was VERY

dangerous.

I'm so glad you are ok. It's so sad what our nadas do to us.

Mia

>

[Guest guest]

Oh my gosh, that is just awful!! How messed up is that?! (very!!!) Nice of

that doctor to just prescribe some pills for a child FIVE POUNDS over weght,

who's still growing, etc... In my humble opinion, what he did is

malpractice. And what she did, no excuse for that. That was VERY

dangerous.

I'm so glad you are ok. It's so sad what our nadas do to us.

Mia

>