Supervised visits with nada and foo (for me!)

[Guest guest]

Dear Annie and WTO members,

I have read advice from Annie before saying that we could have a friend along

during visits with nada or foo. I find visits with nada or foo with my husband

in attendance turn out fun and are not threatening. Alone, I can get cornered

and tormented for entertainment(feeling like the proverbial mouse toyed with by

the cat).

Does this mean I am weak or unable to handle my own boundaries? Lately, I don't

give in or get in dogfights. I also say what I think and don't squelch my

feelings, but it feels like a battleground. I am exhausted from these

encounters at worst and annoyed at best.

When my husband is around, the pointed comments and baiting just don't happen at

all. Is this because of some " weakness " in me or just the fact that I am the

target? How can I be stronger?

I would like to be able to go out of state to visit family, but it isolates me

and causes tremendous stress. (Husband can't get time off to come and we have

financial issues. Otherwise, I would get a hotel room and just have some fun on

the trip. But I don't travel or stay alone well either because of residual PTSD

from time overseas.)

I feel like a walking basketcase on these trips and have not been to see family

for 1 1/2 years. Should I just stay home forever? (Okay by me.) We have a lot

of fun activities and hobbies and go to parks, play outside, etc. They are

welcome to come see me.

p.s. What do I tell them? Just cite travel issues and play the role of poor

depressed me? I hate that! I'm not sick or weak! I just don't want to visit

them because they attack me and my kids.

-Coal Miner's Daughter