Re: I'm a new member and look forward to meeting all of you

[Guest guest]

Welcome Bunny! What a fun and sunny name :-) You intro sounds sooo familiar and

I doubt that there is a member here that can't relate to the struggles we all

have with eating.

I am personally nodding about 'void' eating - I did that a bit this morning

(will post on that next). How grand that you are recognizing that as well as

finding the real underlying emotions instead of 'stuffing' them in an attempt to

quiet these. Outbursts may be difficult to live with, but maybe you will find

that they are like soap bubbles - look HUGE, but disappear rapidly when they

'pop'!

Looking forward to reading more posts - lovely to have you here.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I am a new member and wanted to introduce myself. I have spent the last few

days looking through this group's posts and files and have already found it to

be hugely helpful.

>

> I am a 25 year old woman from Canada and I struggle with emotional eating. I

have struggled with this from my early teens but only recently realized that I

am an emotional eater (I don't know why I never made that realization earlier in

life)

>

> I am overweight as a result and this hurts my confidence and self-esteem. The

most vicious part about this cycle is that I will go from being fat to super hot

and back to fat. Each time I gain weight it is worse than the time before

because people look at me as though they're thinking " what the heck happened to

you? You used to be so pretty! "

>

> So, I've discovered than I'm an emotional eater and I have so far been making

slow but steady progress in understanding this and myself. I have really bad

days and good days.

>

> I have found that when you stop feeding your 'void' and stop emotional eating

this forces you to look at the reasons why you eat emotionally in the first

place. Because I have not been filling my 'void' I have had some emotional

outbursts and crazy moments but also some really huge breakthroughs.

>

> Does anyone else struggle with something similar?

>

> I joined this group because I want to live differently, I want to eat

intuitively and be confident and healthy (most of all, healthy)

>

> There are tons of topics I would love to discuss with everyone, but most of

all I am here for the same reason that the rest of you are, for non-judgmental

support.

>

> By the way, my name is Bunny.

>

[Guest guest]

Oh I can definitly relate! I am a huge emotional eater as well. I've been working on finding other things to do when I feel the need to eat and I'm not hungry. I'm amazed at how little I really need to eat when I listen to my stomach vs listening to my emotions. It has been depressing to me because I love to eat and now I need to find something else I love to do to fill that void instead of eating. It's tough and definitly a work in progress!

Barb

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, September 15, 2011 12:49 PMSubject: I'm a new member and look forward to meeting all of you

Hi everyone,I am a new member and wanted to introduce myself. I have spent the last few days looking through this group's posts and files and have already found it to be hugely helpful.I am a 25 year old woman from Canada and I struggle with emotional eating. I have struggled with this from my early teens but only recently realized that I am an emotional eater (I don't know why I never made that realization earlier in life)I am overweight as a result and this hurts my confidence and self-esteem. The most vicious part about this cycle is that I will go from being fat to super hot and back to fat. Each time I gain weight it is worse than the time before because people look at me as though they're thinking "what the heck happened to you? You used to be so pretty!"So, I've discovered than I'm an emotional eater and I have so far been making slow but steady progress in understanding this and myself. I have really bad days

and good days. I have found that when you stop feeding your 'void' and stop emotional eating this forces you to look at the reasons why you eat emotionally in the first place. Because I have not been filling my 'void' I have had some emotional outbursts and crazy moments but also some really huge breakthroughs.Does anyone else struggle with something similar?I joined this group because I want to live differently, I want to eat intuitively and be confident and healthy (most of all, healthy)There are tons of topics I would love to discuss with everyone, but most of all I am here for the same reason that the rest of you are, for non-judgmental support.By the way, my name is Bunny.

[Guest guest]

Oh I can definitly relate! I am a huge emotional eater as well. I've been working on finding other things to do when I feel the need to eat and I'm not hungry. I'm amazed at how little I really need to eat when I listen to my stomach vs listening to my emotions. It has been depressing to me because I love to eat and now I need to find something else I love to do to fill that void instead of eating. It's tough and definitly a work in progress!

Barb

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, September 15, 2011 12:49 PMSubject: I'm a new member and look forward to meeting all of you

Hi everyone,I am a new member and wanted to introduce myself. I have spent the last few days looking through this group's posts and files and have already found it to be hugely helpful.I am a 25 year old woman from Canada and I struggle with emotional eating. I have struggled with this from my early teens but only recently realized that I am an emotional eater (I don't know why I never made that realization earlier in life)I am overweight as a result and this hurts my confidence and self-esteem. The most vicious part about this cycle is that I will go from being fat to super hot and back to fat. Each time I gain weight it is worse than the time before because people look at me as though they're thinking "what the heck happened to you? You used to be so pretty!"So, I've discovered than I'm an emotional eater and I have so far been making slow but steady progress in understanding this and myself. I have really bad days

and good days. I have found that when you stop feeding your 'void' and stop emotional eating this forces you to look at the reasons why you eat emotionally in the first place. Because I have not been filling my 'void' I have had some emotional outbursts and crazy moments but also some really huge breakthroughs.Does anyone else struggle with something similar?I joined this group because I want to live differently, I want to eat intuitively and be confident and healthy (most of all, healthy)There are tons of topics I would love to discuss with everyone, but most of all I am here for the same reason that the rest of you are, for non-judgmental support.By the way, my name is Bunny.

[Guest guest]

Oh I can definitly relate! I am a huge emotional eater as well. I've been working on finding other things to do when I feel the need to eat and I'm not hungry. I'm amazed at how little I really need to eat when I listen to my stomach vs listening to my emotions. It has been depressing to me because I love to eat and now I need to find something else I love to do to fill that void instead of eating. It's tough and definitly a work in progress!

Barb

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, September 15, 2011 12:49 PMSubject: I'm a new member and look forward to meeting all of you

Hi everyone,I am a new member and wanted to introduce myself. I have spent the last few days looking through this group's posts and files and have already found it to be hugely helpful.I am a 25 year old woman from Canada and I struggle with emotional eating. I have struggled with this from my early teens but only recently realized that I am an emotional eater (I don't know why I never made that realization earlier in life)I am overweight as a result and this hurts my confidence and self-esteem. The most vicious part about this cycle is that I will go from being fat to super hot and back to fat. Each time I gain weight it is worse than the time before because people look at me as though they're thinking "what the heck happened to you? You used to be so pretty!"So, I've discovered than I'm an emotional eater and I have so far been making slow but steady progress in understanding this and myself. I have really bad days

and good days. I have found that when you stop feeding your 'void' and stop emotional eating this forces you to look at the reasons why you eat emotionally in the first place. Because I have not been filling my 'void' I have had some emotional outbursts and crazy moments but also some really huge breakthroughs.Does anyone else struggle with something similar?I joined this group because I want to live differently, I want to eat intuitively and be confident and healthy (most of all, healthy)There are tons of topics I would love to discuss with everyone, but most of all I am here for the same reason that the rest of you are, for non-judgmental support.By the way, my name is Bunny.

[Guest guest]

I had a similar realization while working with my nutritionist. I find that I

actually need far less food to be " satisfied " than I even thought. When I first

started realizing that, it would actually make me really annoyed and kind of

angry. It would feel like I was just starting to get into my food when I

realized I had hit that point and was supposed to stop. It made me particularly

angry when I was eating something that wasn't going to store well to the next

meal, like a sandwich or salad that I knew would become soggy and not really be

appetizing if it sat around for a while. Then I'd have the added guilt of

feeling like I would either have to throw it away and waste it or finish it and

be too full.

I still struggle with that a lot. Mostly, I try to deal with it by getting much

smaller portions than I used to, so at least I don't have to waste as much. But

then I struggle because it sort of feels like cheating to me. I'm still not

really stopping because my body tells me to. I'm stopping because I finished,

albeit a much smaller amount than before. That's a tough one. I give myself

credit for the progress of eating less, but I still have a lot of work to do

there.

Josie

>

> I'm amazed at how little I really need to eat when I listen to my stomach vs

listening to my emotions. It has been depressing to me because I love to eat and

now I need to find something else I love to do to fill that void instead of

eating. It's tough and definitly a work in progress!

[Guest guest]

Spot on Josie! The one aspect of IE suggested type eating that eludes me is sit

down meals where old habits (load plate, dive in, eat fast before food cools - I

like hot food hot - and running past satisfaction before that even dawns on me

to 'look for'.) kick in. Lately I've been wondering if a better way would be for

me to arrange my menus and cooking to where I can serve in courses instead of

family style. That way I can deal with one item at a time, savor it instead of

trying to taste everything (yum overdrive), and then greet the next item with

equal interest. Of course it would be sooo easy if I had a cook and maid (HA

HA!!) as it would probably require me to jump up and play waitress for each

course. But if I could embrace mindful eating that-a-way, the switch could be

quite worth it - hmmmm.

Thanks for this awareness moment - Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I had a similar realization while working with my nutritionist. I find that I

actually need far less food to be " satisfied " than I even thought. When I first

started realizing that, it would actually make me really annoyed and kind of

angry. It would feel like I was just starting to get into my food when I

realized I had hit that point and was supposed to stop. It made me particularly

angry when I was eating something that wasn't going to store well to the next

meal, like a sandwich or salad that I knew would become soggy and not really be

appetizing if it sat around for a while. Then I'd have the added guilt of

feeling like I would either have to throw it away and waste it or finish it and

be too full.

>

> I still struggle with that a lot. Mostly, I try to deal with it by getting

much smaller portions than I used to, so at least I don't have to waste as much.

But then I struggle because it sort of feels like cheating to me. I'm still not

really stopping because my body tells me to. I'm stopping because I finished,

albeit a much smaller amount than before. That's a tough one. I give myself

credit for the progress of eating less, but I still have a lot of work to do

there.

>

> Josie

[Guest guest]

Spot on Josie! The one aspect of IE suggested type eating that eludes me is sit

down meals where old habits (load plate, dive in, eat fast before food cools - I

like hot food hot - and running past satisfaction before that even dawns on me

to 'look for'.) kick in. Lately I've been wondering if a better way would be for

me to arrange my menus and cooking to where I can serve in courses instead of

family style. That way I can deal with one item at a time, savor it instead of

trying to taste everything (yum overdrive), and then greet the next item with

equal interest. Of course it would be sooo easy if I had a cook and maid (HA

HA!!) as it would probably require me to jump up and play waitress for each

course. But if I could embrace mindful eating that-a-way, the switch could be

quite worth it - hmmmm.

Thanks for this awareness moment - Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I had a similar realization while working with my nutritionist. I find that I

actually need far less food to be " satisfied " than I even thought. When I first

started realizing that, it would actually make me really annoyed and kind of

angry. It would feel like I was just starting to get into my food when I

realized I had hit that point and was supposed to stop. It made me particularly

angry when I was eating something that wasn't going to store well to the next

meal, like a sandwich or salad that I knew would become soggy and not really be

appetizing if it sat around for a while. Then I'd have the added guilt of

feeling like I would either have to throw it away and waste it or finish it and

be too full.

>

> I still struggle with that a lot. Mostly, I try to deal with it by getting

much smaller portions than I used to, so at least I don't have to waste as much.

But then I struggle because it sort of feels like cheating to me. I'm still not

really stopping because my body tells me to. I'm stopping because I finished,

albeit a much smaller amount than before. That's a tough one. I give myself

credit for the progress of eating less, but I still have a lot of work to do

there.

>

> Josie

[Guest guest]

Welcome Bunny,

I can relate a lot to what you say. I also never thought I was an emotional

eater but have realized in the last year that it is a *HUGE* problem for me.

Funny how we can't see those things in ourselves. But I think that happens to a

lot of people in a lot of areas, not just eating. But yes, taking away the

comfort of food does lead to some really uncomfortable momemnts and I think

we're all better off for learning how to deal with those in other ways and also

for realizing that if, on occasion, we do choose to use food, that's okay, too.

Skinny people do it, too. The trick is not to beat ourselves up about it and

use it as a reason to keep up the binge long term (I could and have done it for

*weeks* at a time!), but to forgive ourselves and move on and get back to eating

in a way that honors our bodies.

On your other point about how people perceive you when you regain, I can also

relate because I've always been a people pleaser and very concerned about what

others think of me. BUT, one of the things that I'm starting to get more

comfortable with is not being so concerned about that anymore. I think part of

it just comes with age when you are not so concerned about your image (at least

I'm much less concerned than I used to be when I was your age). But also, I've

had two important realizations over the last couple of years. The first, is

that people think a lot less about you than you think they do. Which in some

ways, can be kind of insulting (What?!? People aren't thinking about *me*??

Why not?? LOL). But also, can be kind of comforting. You may *think* that

people are thinking that you let yourself go or that you look prettier thinner,

but in reality, I think most of that is in our own head and while someone may

have given it a passing thought or even made a non-judgemental observation ( " oh,

Josie has gained some weight " - that's really just an observation of fact and

not judgemental), they're not dwelling on it. We torture ourselves far more

with the stories we tell ourselves - most of which aren't even true - than

anyone else ever could. I know, I'm expert at it. >)

The final thought I'll leave you with is that we think everyone sees us the way

that we do, but out own perceptions of our body are so skewed by our pasts and

how we've been influenced by the media and all those other external factors. In

most instances, we don't *really* know what others think of how we look. I had

a couple of interesting experiences recently, one after the other. The first

was I talking with my therapist and made the comment about being fat and she

asked me if I saw myself as fat. I almost fell off my chair in amazement that

she would even ask me that. OF COURSE I see myself as fat! How could I NOT?

To which she responded that she really didn't and that she wasn't just saying

that because she was supposed to because she's the IE therapist. I sort of took

it with a grain of salt. After all, of course a therapist is going to say

something like that, right?

But then just the other day, I was working out at the gym with a friend and made

the comment about weighing more than she does to which her eyes bugged out and

she said there's no way on earth I weigh more than she does and that she thinks

I have body dysmorphic disorder. Now, I think *she* has it because I SO weight

more than her (but that's a debate that we'll resume another day! LOL). But in

any event, the point is that when I'm squeezing into my size 20 Lane s or

comparing myself to the women on magazines or tv, or whatever, I *absolutely*

see myself as fat, as obese, in fact. And I've struggled all my life with

feeling unattractive because of my size (even when I wasn't really heavy!) and

and I've missed out on a lot of things in my life because of it and that's sad.

But regardless of the actual number on the scale or on the label in my pants,

other people in my life see me in a much more flattering light. Which in a way,

means I'm suffering for nothing! How silly is that? Again, it's another

example of how the stories we tell ourselves don't necessarily reflect reality

and how we're so much harder on ourselves than anyone else. We have to fight

those messages and live our lives and say that even if someone does think we're

fat, so what? Who cares what they think?

REALLY tough habits to overcome, I know. I still mountains of work to do in

this area. But they're good lessons to remember.

Josie

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I am a new member and wanted to introduce myself. I have spent the last few

days looking through this group's posts and files and have already found it to

be hugely helpful.

>

> I am a 25 year old woman from Canada and I struggle with emotional eating. I

have struggled with this from my early teens but only recently realized that I

am an emotional eater (I don't know why I never made that realization earlier in

life)

>

> I am overweight as a result and this hurts my confidence and self-esteem. The

most vicious part about this cycle is that I will go from being fat to super hot

and back to fat. Each time I gain weight it is worse than the time before

because people look at me as though they're thinking " what the heck happened to

you? You used to be so pretty! "

>

> So, I've discovered than I'm an emotional eater and I have so far been making

slow but steady progress in understanding this and myself. I have really bad

days and good days.

>

> I have found that when you stop feeding your 'void' and stop emotional eating

this forces you to look at the reasons why you eat emotionally in the first

place. Because I have not been filling my 'void' I have had some emotional

outbursts and crazy moments but also some really huge breakthroughs.

>

> Does anyone else struggle with something similar?

>

> I joined this group because I want to live differently, I want to eat

intuitively and be confident and healthy (most of all, healthy)

>

> There are tons of topics I would love to discuss with everyone, but most of

all I am here for the same reason that the rest of you are, for non-judgmental

support.

>

> By the way, my name is Bunny.

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome Bunny. I've been doing IE for six weeks or so and find that a lot of

what I thought was emotional eating was diet mentality backlash. The emotional

eating is still there from time to time, just not as much as I'd expected. This

is quite a journey, especially early on when the rules turn upside down. Keep

posting, processing and asking questions. Sandarah

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I am a new member and wanted to introduce myself. I have spent the last few

days looking through this group's posts and files and have already found it to

be hugely helpful.

>

> I am a 25 year old woman from Canada and I struggle with emotional eating. I

have struggled with this from my early teens but only recently realized that I

am an emotional eater (I don't know why I never made that realization earlier in

life)

>

> I am overweight as a result and this hurts my confidence and self-esteem. The

most vicious part about this cycle is that I will go from being fat to super hot

and back to fat. Each time I gain weight it is worse than the time before

because people look at me as though they're thinking " what the heck happened to

you? You used to be so pretty! "

>

> So, I've discovered than I'm an emotional eater and I have so far been making

slow but steady progress in understanding this and myself. I have really bad

days and good days.

>

> I have found that when you stop feeding your 'void' and stop emotional eating

this forces you to look at the reasons why you eat emotionally in the first

place. Because I have not been filling my 'void' I have had some emotional

outbursts and crazy moments but also some really huge breakthroughs.

>

> Does anyone else struggle with something similar?

>

> I joined this group because I want to live differently, I want to eat

intuitively and be confident and healthy (most of all, healthy)

>

> There are tons of topics I would love to discuss with everyone, but most of

all I am here for the same reason that the rest of you are, for non-judgmental

support.

>

> By the way, my name is Bunny.

>

[Guest guest]

That's something I really question as well, and the way I'm looking at it, I

have permission to get myself seconds if I want them. I was worrying/wondering

if serving myself smaller portions and then stopping when I'm finished ,even

though it feels like the perfect amount is relying too much on external cues.

But then several times this week I didn't finish even that, and also several

times this week I did get up and get seconds. It seems reasonable to me, that

once we're comfortable with our hunger and satiety levels, that we ought to have

somewhat of an idea how much food is likely to be the right amount....

Tilley

> >

> > I'm amazed at how little I really need to eat when I listen to my stomach vs

listening to my emotions. It has been depressing to me because I love to eat and

now I need to find something else I love to do to fill that void instead of

eating. It's tough and definitly a work in progress!

>

[Guest guest]

That's something I really question as well, and the way I'm looking at it, I

have permission to get myself seconds if I want them. I was worrying/wondering

if serving myself smaller portions and then stopping when I'm finished ,even

though it feels like the perfect amount is relying too much on external cues.

But then several times this week I didn't finish even that, and also several

times this week I did get up and get seconds. It seems reasonable to me, that

once we're comfortable with our hunger and satiety levels, that we ought to have

somewhat of an idea how much food is likely to be the right amount....

Tilley

> >

> > I'm amazed at how little I really need to eat when I listen to my stomach vs

listening to my emotions. It has been depressing to me because I love to eat and

now I need to find something else I love to do to fill that void instead of

eating. It's tough and definitly a work in progress!

>

[Guest guest]

That's something I really question as well, and the way I'm looking at it, I

have permission to get myself seconds if I want them. I was worrying/wondering

if serving myself smaller portions and then stopping when I'm finished ,even

though it feels like the perfect amount is relying too much on external cues.

But then several times this week I didn't finish even that, and also several

times this week I did get up and get seconds. It seems reasonable to me, that

once we're comfortable with our hunger and satiety levels, that we ought to have

somewhat of an idea how much food is likely to be the right amount....

Tilley

> >

> > I'm amazed at how little I really need to eat when I listen to my stomach vs

listening to my emotions. It has been depressing to me because I love to eat and

now I need to find something else I love to do to fill that void instead of

eating. It's tough and definitly a work in progress!

>

[Guest guest]

Josie,

I am struggling with this, too, and actually find myself rebelling against it. I want to continue eating because the food tastes good and because I like the process of preparing a meal and eating it. So, I am finding that I am ignoring the signal (or not listening for it at all) and finishing whatever is in front of me. I was also thinking of serving myself smaller portions for now until I can really find and heed that "satisfied" signal again. I am a little off kilter these days.

Mimi

Subject: Re: I'm a new member and look forward to meeting all of youTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, September 15, 2011, 4:17 PM

I had a similar realization while working with my nutritionist. I find that I actually need far less food to be "satisfied" than I even thought. When I first started realizing that, it would actually make me really annoyed and kind of angry. It would feel like I was just starting to get into my food when I realized I had hit that point and was supposed to stop. It made me particularly angry when I was eating something that wasn't going to store well to the next meal, like a sandwich or salad that I knew would become soggy and not really be appetizing if it sat around for a while. Then I'd have the added guilt of feeling like I would either have to throw it away and waste it or finish it and be too full. I still struggle with that a lot. Mostly, I try to deal with it by getting much smaller portions than I used to, so at least I don't have to waste as much. But then I struggle because it sort of feels like cheating to me. I'm still not really

stopping because my body tells me to. I'm stopping because I finished, albeit a much smaller amount than before. That's a tough one. I give myself credit for the progress of eating less, but I still have a lot of work to do there.Josie

[Guest guest]

Josie,

I am struggling with this, too, and actually find myself rebelling against it. I want to continue eating because the food tastes good and because I like the process of preparing a meal and eating it. So, I am finding that I am ignoring the signal (or not listening for it at all) and finishing whatever is in front of me. I was also thinking of serving myself smaller portions for now until I can really find and heed that "satisfied" signal again. I am a little off kilter these days.

Mimi

Subject: Re: I'm a new member and look forward to meeting all of youTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, September 15, 2011, 4:17 PM

I had a similar realization while working with my nutritionist. I find that I actually need far less food to be "satisfied" than I even thought. When I first started realizing that, it would actually make me really annoyed and kind of angry. It would feel like I was just starting to get into my food when I realized I had hit that point and was supposed to stop. It made me particularly angry when I was eating something that wasn't going to store well to the next meal, like a sandwich or salad that I knew would become soggy and not really be appetizing if it sat around for a while. Then I'd have the added guilt of feeling like I would either have to throw it away and waste it or finish it and be too full. I still struggle with that a lot. Mostly, I try to deal with it by getting much smaller portions than I used to, so at least I don't have to waste as much. But then I struggle because it sort of feels like cheating to me. I'm still not really

stopping because my body tells me to. I'm stopping because I finished, albeit a much smaller amount than before. That's a tough one. I give myself credit for the progress of eating less, but I still have a lot of work to do there.Josie

[Guest guest]

Josie,

I am struggling with this, too, and actually find myself rebelling against it. I want to continue eating because the food tastes good and because I like the process of preparing a meal and eating it. So, I am finding that I am ignoring the signal (or not listening for it at all) and finishing whatever is in front of me. I was also thinking of serving myself smaller portions for now until I can really find and heed that "satisfied" signal again. I am a little off kilter these days.

Mimi

Subject: Re: I'm a new member and look forward to meeting all of youTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, September 15, 2011, 4:17 PM

I had a similar realization while working with my nutritionist. I find that I actually need far less food to be "satisfied" than I even thought. When I first started realizing that, it would actually make me really annoyed and kind of angry. It would feel like I was just starting to get into my food when I realized I had hit that point and was supposed to stop. It made me particularly angry when I was eating something that wasn't going to store well to the next meal, like a sandwich or salad that I knew would become soggy and not really be appetizing if it sat around for a while. Then I'd have the added guilt of feeling like I would either have to throw it away and waste it or finish it and be too full. I still struggle with that a lot. Mostly, I try to deal with it by getting much smaller portions than I used to, so at least I don't have to waste as much. But then I struggle because it sort of feels like cheating to me. I'm still not really

stopping because my body tells me to. I'm stopping because I finished, albeit a much smaller amount than before. That's a tough one. I give myself credit for the progress of eating less, but I still have a lot of work to do there.Josie

[Guest guest]

Isn't it interesting the way we view ourselves, and the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we look like? I had a similar experience with my therapist. I had just assumed that she saw me as unstylish and unattractive. When I conveyed that very casually, she was really taken aback. That same week a friend commented on my great "sense of style." I was like, "huh? But I'm unstylish!" Wouldn't it be great if we could reverse that trend?

I'm trying to remember the advice in the book "When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies." The author states that bad body thoughts are ALWAYS about something else. I was really skeptical about this at first, but now I'm beginning to see that she might have a point. Recently, I've been feeling off with my eating. In the past, I would have attributed this to the fact that I'm "bad" and lazy and can't stick to anything. Now, I've been going deeper and realize that there's a lot of stress going on in my life right now. I'm due for another cancer check-up (always stressful) and my husband is going through some difficult emotional issues. So, I have resolved to be extra good to myself during this period.

Mimi

Subject: Re: I'm a new member and look forward to meeting all of youTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, September 15, 2011, 4:57 PM

Welcome Bunny,I can relate a lot to what you say. I also never thought I was an emotional eater but have realized in the last year that it is a *HUGE* problem for me. Funny how we can't see those things in ourselves. But I think that happens to a lot of people in a lot of areas, not just eating. But yes, taking away the comfort of food does lead to some really uncomfortable momemnts and I think we're all better off for learning how to deal with those in other ways and also for realizing that if, on occasion, we do choose to use food, that's okay, too. Skinny people do it, too. The trick is not to beat ourselves up about it and use it as a reason to keep up the binge long term (I could and have done it for *weeks* at a time!), but to forgive ourselves and move on and get back to eating in a way that honors our bodies. On your other point about how people perceive you when you regain, I can also relate because I've always been a people

pleaser and very concerned about what others think of me. BUT, one of the things that I'm starting to get more comfortable with is not being so concerned about that anymore. I think part of it just comes with age when you are not so concerned about your image (at least I'm much less concerned than I used to be when I was your age). But also, I've had two important realizations over the last couple of years. The first, is that people think a lot less about you than you think they do. Which in some ways, can be kind of insulting (What?!? People aren't thinking about *me*?? Why not?? LOL). But also, can be kind of comforting. You may *think* that people are thinking that you let yourself go or that you look prettier thinner, but in reality, I think most of that is in our own head and while someone may have given it a passing thought or even made a non-judgemental observation ("oh, Josie has gained some weight" - that's really just an observation of fact

and not judgemental), they're not dwelling on it. We torture ourselves far more with the stories we tell ourselves - most of which aren't even true - than anyone else ever could. I know, I'm expert at it. >)The final thought I'll leave you with is that we think everyone sees us the way that we do, but out own perceptions of our body are so skewed by our pasts and how we've been influenced by the media and all those other external factors. In most instances, we don't *really* know what others think of how we look. I had a couple of interesting experiences recently, one after the other. The first was I talking with my therapist and made the comment about being fat and she asked me if I saw myself as fat. I almost fell off my chair in amazement that she would even ask me that. OF COURSE I see myself as fat! How could I NOT? To which she responded that she really didn't and that she wasn't just saying that because she was supposed to because

she's the IE therapist. I sort of took it with a grain of salt. After all, of course a therapist is going to say something like that, right? But then just the other day, I was working out at the gym with a friend and made the comment about weighing more than she does to which her eyes bugged out and she said there's no way on earth I weigh more than she does and that she thinks I have body dysmorphic disorder. Now, I think *she* has it because I SO weight more than her (but that's a debate that we'll resume another day! LOL). But in any event, the point is that when I'm squeezing into my size 20 Lane s or comparing myself to the women on magazines or tv, or whatever, I *absolutely* see myself as fat, as obese, in fact. And I've struggled all my life with feeling unattractive because of my size (even when I wasn't really heavy!) and and I've missed out on a lot of things in my life because of it and that's sad. But regardless of the actual

number on the scale or on the label in my pants, other people in my life see me in a much more flattering light. Which in a way, means I'm suffering for nothing! How silly is that? Again, it's another example of how the stories we tell ourselves don't necessarily reflect reality and how we're so much harder on ourselves than anyone else. We have to fight those messages and live our lives and say that even if someone does think we're fat, so what? Who cares what they think? REALLY tough habits to overcome, I know. I still mountains of work to do in this area. But they're good lessons to remember. Josie

[Guest guest]

Isn't it interesting the way we view ourselves, and the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we look like? I had a similar experience with my therapist. I had just assumed that she saw me as unstylish and unattractive. When I conveyed that very casually, she was really taken aback. That same week a friend commented on my great "sense of style." I was like, "huh? But I'm unstylish!" Wouldn't it be great if we could reverse that trend?

I'm trying to remember the advice in the book "When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies." The author states that bad body thoughts are ALWAYS about something else. I was really skeptical about this at first, but now I'm beginning to see that she might have a point. Recently, I've been feeling off with my eating. In the past, I would have attributed this to the fact that I'm "bad" and lazy and can't stick to anything. Now, I've been going deeper and realize that there's a lot of stress going on in my life right now. I'm due for another cancer check-up (always stressful) and my husband is going through some difficult emotional issues. So, I have resolved to be extra good to myself during this period.

Mimi

Subject: Re: I'm a new member and look forward to meeting all of youTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, September 15, 2011, 4:57 PM

Welcome Bunny,I can relate a lot to what you say. I also never thought I was an emotional eater but have realized in the last year that it is a *HUGE* problem for me. Funny how we can't see those things in ourselves. But I think that happens to a lot of people in a lot of areas, not just eating. But yes, taking away the comfort of food does lead to some really uncomfortable momemnts and I think we're all better off for learning how to deal with those in other ways and also for realizing that if, on occasion, we do choose to use food, that's okay, too. Skinny people do it, too. The trick is not to beat ourselves up about it and use it as a reason to keep up the binge long term (I could and have done it for *weeks* at a time!), but to forgive ourselves and move on and get back to eating in a way that honors our bodies. On your other point about how people perceive you when you regain, I can also relate because I've always been a people

pleaser and very concerned about what others think of me. BUT, one of the things that I'm starting to get more comfortable with is not being so concerned about that anymore. I think part of it just comes with age when you are not so concerned about your image (at least I'm much less concerned than I used to be when I was your age). But also, I've had two important realizations over the last couple of years. The first, is that people think a lot less about you than you think they do. Which in some ways, can be kind of insulting (What?!? People aren't thinking about *me*?? Why not?? LOL). But also, can be kind of comforting. You may *think* that people are thinking that you let yourself go or that you look prettier thinner, but in reality, I think most of that is in our own head and while someone may have given it a passing thought or even made a non-judgemental observation ("oh, Josie has gained some weight" - that's really just an observation of fact

and not judgemental), they're not dwelling on it. We torture ourselves far more with the stories we tell ourselves - most of which aren't even true - than anyone else ever could. I know, I'm expert at it. >)The final thought I'll leave you with is that we think everyone sees us the way that we do, but out own perceptions of our body are so skewed by our pasts and how we've been influenced by the media and all those other external factors. In most instances, we don't *really* know what others think of how we look. I had a couple of interesting experiences recently, one after the other. The first was I talking with my therapist and made the comment about being fat and she asked me if I saw myself as fat. I almost fell off my chair in amazement that she would even ask me that. OF COURSE I see myself as fat! How could I NOT? To which she responded that she really didn't and that she wasn't just saying that because she was supposed to because

she's the IE therapist. I sort of took it with a grain of salt. After all, of course a therapist is going to say something like that, right? But then just the other day, I was working out at the gym with a friend and made the comment about weighing more than she does to which her eyes bugged out and she said there's no way on earth I weigh more than she does and that she thinks I have body dysmorphic disorder. Now, I think *she* has it because I SO weight more than her (but that's a debate that we'll resume another day! LOL). But in any event, the point is that when I'm squeezing into my size 20 Lane s or comparing myself to the women on magazines or tv, or whatever, I *absolutely* see myself as fat, as obese, in fact. And I've struggled all my life with feeling unattractive because of my size (even when I wasn't really heavy!) and and I've missed out on a lot of things in my life because of it and that's sad. But regardless of the actual

number on the scale or on the label in my pants, other people in my life see me in a much more flattering light. Which in a way, means I'm suffering for nothing! How silly is that? Again, it's another example of how the stories we tell ourselves don't necessarily reflect reality and how we're so much harder on ourselves than anyone else. We have to fight those messages and live our lives and say that even if someone does think we're fat, so what? Who cares what they think? REALLY tough habits to overcome, I know. I still mountains of work to do in this area. But they're good lessons to remember. Josie

[Guest guest]

Isn't it interesting the way we view ourselves, and the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we look like? I had a similar experience with my therapist. I had just assumed that she saw me as unstylish and unattractive. When I conveyed that very casually, she was really taken aback. That same week a friend commented on my great "sense of style." I was like, "huh? But I'm unstylish!" Wouldn't it be great if we could reverse that trend?

I'm trying to remember the advice in the book "When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies." The author states that bad body thoughts are ALWAYS about something else. I was really skeptical about this at first, but now I'm beginning to see that she might have a point. Recently, I've been feeling off with my eating. In the past, I would have attributed this to the fact that I'm "bad" and lazy and can't stick to anything. Now, I've been going deeper and realize that there's a lot of stress going on in my life right now. I'm due for another cancer check-up (always stressful) and my husband is going through some difficult emotional issues. So, I have resolved to be extra good to myself during this period.

Mimi

Subject: Re: I'm a new member and look forward to meeting all of youTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, September 15, 2011, 4:57 PM

Welcome Bunny,I can relate a lot to what you say. I also never thought I was an emotional eater but have realized in the last year that it is a *HUGE* problem for me. Funny how we can't see those things in ourselves. But I think that happens to a lot of people in a lot of areas, not just eating. But yes, taking away the comfort of food does lead to some really uncomfortable momemnts and I think we're all better off for learning how to deal with those in other ways and also for realizing that if, on occasion, we do choose to use food, that's okay, too. Skinny people do it, too. The trick is not to beat ourselves up about it and use it as a reason to keep up the binge long term (I could and have done it for *weeks* at a time!), but to forgive ourselves and move on and get back to eating in a way that honors our bodies. On your other point about how people perceive you when you regain, I can also relate because I've always been a people

pleaser and very concerned about what others think of me. BUT, one of the things that I'm starting to get more comfortable with is not being so concerned about that anymore. I think part of it just comes with age when you are not so concerned about your image (at least I'm much less concerned than I used to be when I was your age). But also, I've had two important realizations over the last couple of years. The first, is that people think a lot less about you than you think they do. Which in some ways, can be kind of insulting (What?!? People aren't thinking about *me*?? Why not?? LOL). But also, can be kind of comforting. You may *think* that people are thinking that you let yourself go or that you look prettier thinner, but in reality, I think most of that is in our own head and while someone may have given it a passing thought or even made a non-judgemental observation ("oh, Josie has gained some weight" - that's really just an observation of fact

and not judgemental), they're not dwelling on it. We torture ourselves far more with the stories we tell ourselves - most of which aren't even true - than anyone else ever could. I know, I'm expert at it. >)The final thought I'll leave you with is that we think everyone sees us the way that we do, but out own perceptions of our body are so skewed by our pasts and how we've been influenced by the media and all those other external factors. In most instances, we don't *really* know what others think of how we look. I had a couple of interesting experiences recently, one after the other. The first was I talking with my therapist and made the comment about being fat and she asked me if I saw myself as fat. I almost fell off my chair in amazement that she would even ask me that. OF COURSE I see myself as fat! How could I NOT? To which she responded that she really didn't and that she wasn't just saying that because she was supposed to because

she's the IE therapist. I sort of took it with a grain of salt. After all, of course a therapist is going to say something like that, right? But then just the other day, I was working out at the gym with a friend and made the comment about weighing more than she does to which her eyes bugged out and she said there's no way on earth I weigh more than she does and that she thinks I have body dysmorphic disorder. Now, I think *she* has it because I SO weight more than her (but that's a debate that we'll resume another day! LOL). But in any event, the point is that when I'm squeezing into my size 20 Lane s or comparing myself to the women on magazines or tv, or whatever, I *absolutely* see myself as fat, as obese, in fact. And I've struggled all my life with feeling unattractive because of my size (even when I wasn't really heavy!) and and I've missed out on a lot of things in my life because of it and that's sad. But regardless of the actual

number on the scale or on the label in my pants, other people in my life see me in a much more flattering light. Which in a way, means I'm suffering for nothing! How silly is that? Again, it's another example of how the stories we tell ourselves don't necessarily reflect reality and how we're so much harder on ourselves than anyone else. We have to fight those messages and live our lives and say that even if someone does think we're fat, so what? Who cares what they think? REALLY tough habits to overcome, I know. I still mountains of work to do in this area. But they're good lessons to remember. Josie

[Guest guest]

Mimi I often feel caught between the 'boat and the pier' but that resolves

itself best for me when I just go for 'it'- one way or the other! if I dwell on

the uneasy feeling I will most likely fall into the drink rather than launch off

or return to 'safe (ground)'. I'm just learning to embrace that off kilter

feeling as needed practice for re-obtaining and improving a balance from which I

can progress.

Thanks for sharing that - its an honor to feel that you trust us with your inner

most reality. BEST wishes for you -

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

> I am a little off kilter these days.

>  

> Mimi