Re: Sparkling wine and a pint of haagan dazs...

[Guest guest]

Sounds like you had a 'wringer' of a day! Those drain me too and it seems that

all one can do is ride it out. Good processing and learning from it.

What also came to my mind was another support group acronym - to HALT! when such

a situation grabs you to find out if you are -

H urt

A ngry

L onely

T ired

which are usually what could be driving you to XX (eat) instead of dealing with

the true driving factor. For sure this is way tough when caught in the grips of

these powerful emotions. And you don't need to immediately wrestle them to

conquer and repel them forever. Just being able to bring this to your awareness

is an excellent first step! As time passes and you are able to go 'Hmmm, I'm in

the driven mode.' you will then be able to 1) see what is driving you and 2)

find ways that work for you to deal with them and put yourself back in the

drivers seat.

BEST to you,

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> So.... today was one of those awful days at work. I have a boss who's a weird

combination of nervous nelly, control freak, and little prince. The day started

out with one of his crises, that became my crisis and the whole day was driven

by his anxiety becoming my problem. I had meetings scheduled over the lunch

hour, so scarfed down part of my lunch beforehand, barely able to swallow...

>

> I was sick of the place by the end of the day and when I left work ate my

potato salad in the car on the way to the grocery store. On the way home from

work suddenly ice cream popped into my mind.

>

> I didn't want to yield, I didn't want to fight - and I had nowhere in between.

I told myself I'd wait until I got back to the town I live in (forty minutes

away) and when I did roll into town, the ice cream thoughts popped up again.

So, I bought a pint; not just any, but the best one I could find.

>

> Ate it in front of the tv - I did taste it - but I was still wanting to be

shut down. Then I had some of this nice sparkling wine I just discovered, not a

lot, just enought for a buzz. And, throughout, I just didn't fight myself. No

guilt, no recrimination, just being with myself in my lapse into an old, old

pattern.

>

> Later I ate " dinner " which was just an exercise in more unconsciousness -

while obliquely stewing about this awful day at work. Some days are fine, but

some days are like a run away train; mostly because I have a boss who gets

frantic and then barks orders at me all day long so that I can work out whatever

problem has arise the way he thinks it needs to be worked out moment-to-moment.

I don't know how to stop him when he gets like that.

>

> I know this is a problem that I need to resolve and I feel ill equipped to

resolve it. But, eating ice cream was a poor exchange for setting limits with

him and taking back control of my day. I was raised in an environment that left

me skillless with bullies and I am surrounded by them at work. My family of

origin in spades. There are days when I hold my ground and there are days when

I succumb and slink into my corner. The last two days left me fairly trampled.

>

> I think that part of the reason I ate the ice cream was that I didn't want to

face how ashamed it caused me to feel that I'd been, once again, mowed down by

this guy. I hate being reduced to someone who sits in a corner and eats rather

than stands up and says " stop it " ! " Just stop it and let me think about what I

need to do in this situation, rather than what you'd do if you ever did

anything! "

>

> Well, I'm wrung out. G'night everyone. Two steps back...

>