Guest guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I found that anger is like a 'core' emotion - very hard if not impossible to suppress. And if one does suppress it, its most likely to erupt like Mt. St. Helens with lots of nasty fall out in its wake. I read The Dance of Anger some years back and found out that anger does have a valid function - as a protection against injuries others visit upon us. However anger can end up being an over used 'protection' emotion which hurts the person caught up in it as well. In my family anger was a way to show concern. Twisted as that sounds, it took me a long time and out side assistance to be able to see that when my dad was concerned for me, he would show it in an angry manner. I internalized that by becoming a more aggressive and quick to anger type person myself. Lowering my 'flash point' has been a major bit of work for me and continues too. (passive aggressive people trigger me big time!) Have you also noticed how we tend to GNASH out anger when it comes to eating? Tearing into, crunching, big bites, 'bad' food, stuffing ourselves all have an angry tone to them don't they? The one thing I try to remember is to not try and totally remove anger from my life. It does serve a function, but its also easy to over use. Sounds like eating to me ;-) Thanks for sharing this excellent topic Jane. That's a brave and excellent step you have taken. ehugs, Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > Jane > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I found that anger is like a 'core' emotion - very hard if not impossible to suppress. And if one does suppress it, its most likely to erupt like Mt. St. Helens with lots of nasty fall out in its wake. I read The Dance of Anger some years back and found out that anger does have a valid function - as a protection against injuries others visit upon us. However anger can end up being an over used 'protection' emotion which hurts the person caught up in it as well. In my family anger was a way to show concern. Twisted as that sounds, it took me a long time and out side assistance to be able to see that when my dad was concerned for me, he would show it in an angry manner. I internalized that by becoming a more aggressive and quick to anger type person myself. Lowering my 'flash point' has been a major bit of work for me and continues too. (passive aggressive people trigger me big time!) Have you also noticed how we tend to GNASH out anger when it comes to eating? Tearing into, crunching, big bites, 'bad' food, stuffing ourselves all have an angry tone to them don't they? The one thing I try to remember is to not try and totally remove anger from my life. It does serve a function, but its also easy to over use. Sounds like eating to me ;-) Thanks for sharing this excellent topic Jane. That's a brave and excellent step you have taken. ehugs, Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > Jane > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I found that anger is like a 'core' emotion - very hard if not impossible to suppress. And if one does suppress it, its most likely to erupt like Mt. St. Helens with lots of nasty fall out in its wake. I read The Dance of Anger some years back and found out that anger does have a valid function - as a protection against injuries others visit upon us. However anger can end up being an over used 'protection' emotion which hurts the person caught up in it as well. In my family anger was a way to show concern. Twisted as that sounds, it took me a long time and out side assistance to be able to see that when my dad was concerned for me, he would show it in an angry manner. I internalized that by becoming a more aggressive and quick to anger type person myself. Lowering my 'flash point' has been a major bit of work for me and continues too. (passive aggressive people trigger me big time!) Have you also noticed how we tend to GNASH out anger when it comes to eating? Tearing into, crunching, big bites, 'bad' food, stuffing ourselves all have an angry tone to them don't they? The one thing I try to remember is to not try and totally remove anger from my life. It does serve a function, but its also easy to over use. Sounds like eating to me ;-) Thanks for sharing this excellent topic Jane. That's a brave and excellent step you have taken. ehugs, Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > Jane > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I've noticed this about myself, the anger. For me, I seem to have decided some time ago that I had to walk around with defenses up to preempt any sort of judgments or bad treatment from people I come in contact with who are not friends. I think I feel like I have to constantly be ready to defend or stand up for myself so I don't get mistreated. This is because I have a bad habit of assuming everyone shares the same negative opinions and stereotypes of fat people that are perpetuated by the media and therefore they're looking at me and thinking x, y, or z so I subconsciously decided to defend myself by jumping to conclusions and just walking around mad all the time! Lord knows it's not doing me any favors, but I'm not sure I know how to quit because I've read, seen, and heard enough to believe that most people out there DO believe everything they read, see, and hear about the " obesity epidemic " and the negative stereotypes about fat people. So I think he's right. My anger definitely comes from hurt/perceived hurt and some insecurity but I'm not sure how to quit feeling like it's justified or how to get rid of it if it is justified... And you're right, it's not about the food. It's about what's being stuffed down, coped with, or avoided with food... > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > Jane > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I've noticed this about myself, the anger. For me, I seem to have decided some time ago that I had to walk around with defenses up to preempt any sort of judgments or bad treatment from people I come in contact with who are not friends. I think I feel like I have to constantly be ready to defend or stand up for myself so I don't get mistreated. This is because I have a bad habit of assuming everyone shares the same negative opinions and stereotypes of fat people that are perpetuated by the media and therefore they're looking at me and thinking x, y, or z so I subconsciously decided to defend myself by jumping to conclusions and just walking around mad all the time! Lord knows it's not doing me any favors, but I'm not sure I know how to quit because I've read, seen, and heard enough to believe that most people out there DO believe everything they read, see, and hear about the " obesity epidemic " and the negative stereotypes about fat people. So I think he's right. My anger definitely comes from hurt/perceived hurt and some insecurity but I'm not sure how to quit feeling like it's justified or how to get rid of it if it is justified... And you're right, it's not about the food. It's about what's being stuffed down, coped with, or avoided with food... > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > Jane > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Katcha, When I'm angry, I want to " eat the whole kitchen " and yes, it's especially the crunchy food I go for - chips, popcorn. That angry crunch gives me a chance to " bite " the person or situation I'm mad at/about. It's important not to assume anger itself is bad or wrong. We may act poorly while angry, but we need not. If we can take it as a message that something is wrong which we need to attend to, not lash out in anger but address the underlying issues, then maybe we can avoid the potential repercussions, including overeating. Jane > > > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > > > Jane > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Katcha, When I'm angry, I want to " eat the whole kitchen " and yes, it's especially the crunchy food I go for - chips, popcorn. That angry crunch gives me a chance to " bite " the person or situation I'm mad at/about. It's important not to assume anger itself is bad or wrong. We may act poorly while angry, but we need not. If we can take it as a message that something is wrong which we need to attend to, not lash out in anger but address the underlying issues, then maybe we can avoid the potential repercussions, including overeating. Jane > > > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > > > Jane > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Katcha, When I'm angry, I want to " eat the whole kitchen " and yes, it's especially the crunchy food I go for - chips, popcorn. That angry crunch gives me a chance to " bite " the person or situation I'm mad at/about. It's important not to assume anger itself is bad or wrong. We may act poorly while angry, but we need not. If we can take it as a message that something is wrong which we need to attend to, not lash out in anger but address the underlying issues, then maybe we can avoid the potential repercussions, including overeating. Jane > > > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > > > Jane > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Yes, this one gets to me - wanting to eat the whole kitchen when I'm angry. But, I am finding that when I simply acknowledge that I am angry - rather than try and not be angry - things work out differently. To illustrate, my boss delegates nearly everything. In the past, I've simply done what he asked - then, maybe, discovered I was angry hours later, after eating the entire drive home after work. Now I feel my anger more quickly and surprisingly he often changes his mind and takes back what I'm about to confront him on. It's weird - but at the very least I think he can sense I'm angry and that he's off base. > > > > > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > > > > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > > > > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > > > > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > > > > > Jane > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Yes, this one gets to me - wanting to eat the whole kitchen when I'm angry. But, I am finding that when I simply acknowledge that I am angry - rather than try and not be angry - things work out differently. To illustrate, my boss delegates nearly everything. In the past, I've simply done what he asked - then, maybe, discovered I was angry hours later, after eating the entire drive home after work. Now I feel my anger more quickly and surprisingly he often changes his mind and takes back what I'm about to confront him on. It's weird - but at the very least I think he can sense I'm angry and that he's off base. > > > > > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > > > > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > > > > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > > > > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > > > > > Jane > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 Hooray! This is a very good sign that you are utilizing your emotions in a 'proper' (and productive) way. Bravo and happy results too. bet you didn't feel as driven to eat as you would have been before either. ehugs, Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > Now I feel my anger more quickly and surprisingly he often changes his mind and takes back what I'm about to confront him on. It's weird - but at the very least I think he can sense I'm angry and that he's off base. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 Hooray! This is a very good sign that you are utilizing your emotions in a 'proper' (and productive) way. Bravo and happy results too. bet you didn't feel as driven to eat as you would have been before either. ehugs, Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > Now I feel my anger more quickly and surprisingly he often changes his mind and takes back what I'm about to confront him on. It's weird - but at the very least I think he can sense I'm angry and that he's off base. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 Hooray! This is a very good sign that you are utilizing your emotions in a 'proper' (and productive) way. Bravo and happy results too. bet you didn't feel as driven to eat as you would have been before either. ehugs, Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > Now I feel my anger more quickly and surprisingly he often changes his mind and takes back what I'm about to confront him on. It's weird - but at the very least I think he can sense I'm angry and that he's off base. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Good insights, Jane. Beating yourself up and engaging in restriction and negative self-talk only adds another layer of guilt, blame, and misery on top of what was going on underneath. Plus it numbs us to the underlying issue and prevents us from dealing with that. For me, I've found that I don't have to necessarily resolve the underlying issue to head off overeating. Sometimes it's enough to acknowledge it. Now, when I feel that drive to overeat, I try to stop and say, "why do you want to eat right now?" That makes me slow down and reflect a bit and I usually come up with a plausible emotional reason that has nothing to do with hunger. Then I can decide what to do about it and I'm in charge, even if the decision is to go ahead and overeat. I think you will eventually get more of those "warning lights" as you become better at looking out for them. I think I am getting more of them, too. Mimi Subject: Warning LightsTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 2:58 AM It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it.I've been reading a book about anger called "Overcoming Emotions That Destroy" by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood.I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears.I wonder if I'm going to find more of these "warning lights" in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly.Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Good insights, Jane. Beating yourself up and engaging in restriction and negative self-talk only adds another layer of guilt, blame, and misery on top of what was going on underneath. Plus it numbs us to the underlying issue and prevents us from dealing with that. For me, I've found that I don't have to necessarily resolve the underlying issue to head off overeating. Sometimes it's enough to acknowledge it. Now, when I feel that drive to overeat, I try to stop and say, "why do you want to eat right now?" That makes me slow down and reflect a bit and I usually come up with a plausible emotional reason that has nothing to do with hunger. Then I can decide what to do about it and I'm in charge, even if the decision is to go ahead and overeat. I think you will eventually get more of those "warning lights" as you become better at looking out for them. I think I am getting more of them, too. Mimi Subject: Warning LightsTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 2:58 AM It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it.I've been reading a book about anger called "Overcoming Emotions That Destroy" by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood.I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears.I wonder if I'm going to find more of these "warning lights" in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly.Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Good insights, Jane. Beating yourself up and engaging in restriction and negative self-talk only adds another layer of guilt, blame, and misery on top of what was going on underneath. Plus it numbs us to the underlying issue and prevents us from dealing with that. For me, I've found that I don't have to necessarily resolve the underlying issue to head off overeating. Sometimes it's enough to acknowledge it. Now, when I feel that drive to overeat, I try to stop and say, "why do you want to eat right now?" That makes me slow down and reflect a bit and I usually come up with a plausible emotional reason that has nothing to do with hunger. Then I can decide what to do about it and I'm in charge, even if the decision is to go ahead and overeat. I think you will eventually get more of those "warning lights" as you become better at looking out for them. I think I am getting more of them, too. Mimi Subject: Warning LightsTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 2:58 AM It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it.I've been reading a book about anger called "Overcoming Emotions That Destroy" by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood.I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears.I wonder if I'm going to find more of these "warning lights" in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly.Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 I'm certain that the fake food I've eaten over the years in the hopes of losing weight has been a significant contributor to the diet backlash. I remember particularly the god-awful salad dressings that have slimed their way down my throat in the past. And the licorice-tasting fake sweeteners (that rot your brain) and never hit the spot. At all. Not even close. Except, maybe, in quantities five times what the real product would have been. By then you're so sick, you're " satisfied " . So many years of trying to fake myself out with foods that were essentially disgusting - but " better than nothing " .... Craziness. What's the worst diet dish/meal anyone else has eaten? > > > > Subject: Warning Lights > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 2:58 AM > > > >  > > > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > Jane > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Opti-fast, on a boating outing, while the rest of my family ate KFC. I ate one bite of the chicken. That was probably 20 years ago, and I can still remember the taste of the chicken and the feel of that solid bite of food in my mouth. > > > > > > From: hatslady1 <jerryjane@> > > Subject: Warning Lights > > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > > Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 2:58 AM > > > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > > > Jane > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Opti-fast, on a boating outing, while the rest of my family ate KFC. I ate one bite of the chicken. That was probably 20 years ago, and I can still remember the taste of the chicken and the feel of that solid bite of food in my mouth. > > > > > > From: hatslady1 <jerryjane@> > > Subject: Warning Lights > > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > > Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 2:58 AM > > > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > > > Jane > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Opti-fast, on a boating outing, while the rest of my family ate KFC. I ate one bite of the chicken. That was probably 20 years ago, and I can still remember the taste of the chicken and the feel of that solid bite of food in my mouth. > > > > > > From: hatslady1 <jerryjane@> > > Subject: Warning Lights > > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > > Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 2:58 AM > > > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > > > Jane > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Excellent point. > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > Jane > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 About a hundred years ago, the first of umpteen times I joined WW, one made catsup by boiling tomato juice -- which was marginally better than replacing popcorn with diced apples and celery, making "pizza" by broiling a piece of white bread that had been spread with the faux catsup and broken pieces of fat free "cheese". To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 9:17 PMSubject: Re: Warning Lights I'm certain that the fake food I've eaten over the years in the hopes of losing weight has been a significant contributor to the diet backlash. I remember particularly the god-awful salad dressings that have slimed their way down my throat in the past. And the licorice-tasting fake sweeteners (that rot your brain) and never hit the spot. At all. Not even close. Except, maybe, in quantities five times what the real product would have been. By then you're so sick, you're "satisfied". So many years of trying to fake myself out with foods that were essentially disgusting - but "better than nothing".... Craziness. What's the worst diet dish/meal anyone else has eaten? > > > > Subject: Warning Lights> To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 2:58 AM> > > > Â > > > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it.> > I've been reading a book about anger called "Overcoming Emotions That Destroy" by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood.> > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears.> > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these "warning lights" in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly.> > Jane> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 About a hundred years ago, the first of umpteen times I joined WW, one made catsup by boiling tomato juice -- which was marginally better than replacing popcorn with diced apples and celery, making "pizza" by broiling a piece of white bread that had been spread with the faux catsup and broken pieces of fat free "cheese". To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 9:17 PMSubject: Re: Warning Lights I'm certain that the fake food I've eaten over the years in the hopes of losing weight has been a significant contributor to the diet backlash. I remember particularly the god-awful salad dressings that have slimed their way down my throat in the past. And the licorice-tasting fake sweeteners (that rot your brain) and never hit the spot. At all. Not even close. Except, maybe, in quantities five times what the real product would have been. By then you're so sick, you're "satisfied". So many years of trying to fake myself out with foods that were essentially disgusting - but "better than nothing".... Craziness. What's the worst diet dish/meal anyone else has eaten? > > > > Subject: Warning Lights> To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 2:58 AM> > > > Â > > > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it.> > I've been reading a book about anger called "Overcoming Emotions That Destroy" by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood.> > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears.> > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these "warning lights" in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly.> > Jane> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 About a hundred years ago, the first of umpteen times I joined WW, one made catsup by boiling tomato juice -- which was marginally better than replacing popcorn with diced apples and celery, making "pizza" by broiling a piece of white bread that had been spread with the faux catsup and broken pieces of fat free "cheese". To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Monday, October 31, 2011 9:17 PMSubject: Re: Warning Lights I'm certain that the fake food I've eaten over the years in the hopes of losing weight has been a significant contributor to the diet backlash. I remember particularly the god-awful salad dressings that have slimed their way down my throat in the past. And the licorice-tasting fake sweeteners (that rot your brain) and never hit the spot. At all. Not even close. Except, maybe, in quantities five times what the real product would have been. By then you're so sick, you're "satisfied". So many years of trying to fake myself out with foods that were essentially disgusting - but "better than nothing".... Craziness. What's the worst diet dish/meal anyone else has eaten? > > > > Subject: Warning Lights> To: IntuitiveEating_Support > Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 2:58 AM> > > > Â > > > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it.> > I've been reading a book about anger called "Overcoming Emotions That Destroy" by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood.> > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears.> > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these "warning lights" in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly.> > Jane> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 Your post reminded me of this: http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html Anyone who has ever been part of WW should have a good laugh at these! lol > > > > > > From: hatslady1 <jerryjane@> > > Subject: Warning Lights > > To: IntuitiveEating_Support > > Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 2:58 AM > > > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it. > > > > I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy " by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs, or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood. > > > > I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem, the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse, but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears. > > > > I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. > > > > Jane > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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