Re: Re: Some strange NY spell

[Guest guest]

Sadly, I'm like that. I see the worst outcome. I think it comes from

trying to survive with my nada. I had to try & stay one step ahead of her,

so I tend to look ahead to the point that it's not good. Yes, some planning

is good, but I always prepare for the worst possible outcome.

I hate that. I am trying to work on it and recognize it when I do it, but

it's almost like a compulsion. I wish I knew some tricks to help me stop

it. I think I might have to talk with T about it more lol.

I think it is fear that drives it. I lived in fear every day of that woman.

Sadly, the F of the FOG is still really strong for me. The O & G, not as

much.

Mia

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> My nada was like that too- scared of everything, she allways see the worst

> outcome...it is soo annoying!! It is hard to live with that implanted fear

> (my sister was paralaysed with that. And I know how hard is to un-learn it.

> She never managed to do it. You are lucky to find your brave princ :-) and

> you are very brave too. Deciding to change herself is not an easy task and

> you have to have a lot of courage to do it!

> Yenaine

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> > So sorry to hear about your breakup.

> >

> > It sounds like your BF got overwhelmed with his own past and couldn't

> handle moving on -- even as you held his hand. You are so brave, as revealed

> by your posts here, so he is really missing out. Maybe he was afraid of

> letting his past go, and afraid of who he would become without it.

> >

> > Yes, NY does indeed suck. It's my LEAST favorite holiday, and I think

> that's because it's this heavy " transition time " between one year and the

> next, so it's laden with all this heavy emotion and hopes and dreams and (in

> the case of us children of BPDs) fear. I cannot face a transition to a new

> anything -- year, friendship, house, job, whatever -- without terrible fear.

> This was implanted by BPD Mom, whose response to EVERYTHING, from the moment

> I was born, was " It's scary! " and " Be careful! " and worse. Her fears filled

> me with endless poisonous fears which I have spent my adult life (since

> meeting my fearless husband -- well, okay, he has a fear of heights) trying

> to un-learn. I created my own form of 12-step program to deal with these

> fears and try to see them as gigantic enormous leaping BPD " fleas. "

> >

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