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Merry Xmas from Nada to me - NOT

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I call my nada every day just to keep her in waif mode or she turns into

witch/bitch of the Northeast if I don't. I suffer through her velcro to the

head woe is me routine as she distorts, exaggerates and just plain LIES about

many of her ailments and extorts about my delusional childhood where she was the

heroine and the ONLY parent who loved me and my father was an abusive, cheating

alcoholic who was never home for either of us. The truth was, nada, YOU cheated

on my father and he wound up throwing you out - my father was always working to

give you more and more material things to satisfy you except that nothing could

EVER satisfy you except the arms of an abusive, controlling, pedophile who you

now see as St. . I lived with both of you separately after my father

threw you out until I graduated from high school and then with you two through

two years of business college so I KNOW the truth, nada and YOU were the one who

was the cheating, abusive bitch and not my poor father. My father didn't drink

but her father did so she has it all screwed up. No matter about that though.

It gets worse.

My nada called me back a little while ago crying hysterically. She said her

DAUGHTER died. I said in reply, " who?! " She replied, " Joanie, my DAUGHTER

died! Marie called me to tell me she died five minutes after we hung up this

morning. " First of all I am an only child and I didn't obviously die. Joanie

was her neighbor until she and her family moved to North Carolina a few years

ago. Yes they were good friends but come on! Joanie was 52 years old but had

breast cancer which had spread throughout her body nada had told me a few months

ago crying hysterically as she told me that. She went on to say that now the

other half of her heart was dead - the other half was my stepfather's and he's

dead too so now she has 'no one left'. What am I? Chopped liver???!!! She

then said I 'used to have' 1/3rd of her heart but when I chose to get married to

and put HIM first, then I was no longer IN her heart but now that I

divorced 10 1/2 years ago I might still be in her heart but she 'wasn't

sure'. She said she wanted to die and be with them and didn't want to last

another day. She ended the call with 'I love you'.

I shouldn't be upset by those nasty things she said but I am. It IS Christmas

week after all and yes I will be all alone just as nada will. Last week nada

asked me if I was going to one of my friend's homes for a party and jealously

said, " I bet you are, you partygirl! " but when I told her they were all going to

be out of town and no I would be alone, she relished it and said, " Good! I will

be alone too! "

So what is your spin on what nada said? I fully expect that nada will have

another mini-stroke from this latest death. Every time someone in her circle of

friends or family dies or anything nada sees as really negative happens, her

blood pressure goes sky high apparently and she has another mini-stroke. She is

living at home on her own which is what she wants and wants to die there so

there is no talking to her about going into assisted living (although she has

the $ to live in a nice one).

I can't help but feel awful about what she said. I know I shouldn't let it

bother me, but it does. My heart is not made of steel.

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