Re: Very upset right now

[Guest guest]

<<<Lata>>>, so sorry for how sick you're feeling and everything going on with

your mother. I hope you're feeling much better soon.

Ugh, I so know how you feel. I wish so often I didn't have to deal with my

mother. With mine, it's her drama and her anxieties and her phobia and her

fears. I hate being with her because I feel like I'm with someone with swine

flu. I don't want to " catch " her disorder!!

Even now in my 40s, it just feels like it never ends. And I know how you feel

about your mother being all-knowing. Disagreeing with my mother is something I

avoid. I disagreed with her, foolishly, last week about something and she went

apesh*t. So much for trying to have a conversation!

And as for friends, once again: me too! I recently began a friendship with a

woman from my church. Very nice person, and as well, she's an attractive person,

dresses well, smells perfumey. My mother does NOT like that kind of person. She

finds people who dress up to be trying to one-up her or something. So when I

told her I met my friend for lunch (and I think I told her because, honestly, I

enjoy the look on my mother's face!), she said, " I don't see how you can have a

friendship with someone like that. " It was so presumptuous of her to make that

kind of remark to me. I'm a big girl. Don't freaking tell me who to have as my

friends!!!!

All of that to say, Lata, I know how you feel. Vent anytime you like!

Fiona

>

>

> The last post I sent out I was gung ho that I was going to cut my Nada off,

but of course I can't. I was hoovered back in amongst other things.

>

> One of the things I dislike the most about dealing with my Nada is she thinks

she is all knowing.... Everything to anything....I mean medicine to the

environment. She will correct you to a fault if you " got her wrong " or you

disagree with her opinion.

>

> Today I called to have a peaceful conversation with her about my current

illness. I am sick as a dog and I went to the doctor. She proceeded to tell

me, like I am a child and an idiot, that she told me last night that she thought

I might be allergic to my antibiotic and the doctor said I might be today too.

It instantly made me angry, because she has also said she thinks I have

pneumonia and several other things in the past few days. WTF? I got angry and

I did what I normally do...shut down and ask to end the call. But I texted a

supportive friend who is well aware of my Nada's BPD. In the text I said- " I am

getting tired of not letting her know how she makes me feel " . Something welled

up inside me and I called her back! I lit into her and asked her why it made a

difference if I was allergic to the antibiotic- " because I am your mom " , I

asked, " why did it make such a difference that you needed to correct me the way

you did? And how am I supposed to know if I am allergic to an antibiotic? " , She

says, " I don't want to talk about this " , I ended by saying, " I didn't either the

first call. That's why I ended it. We can do that again. " I then hung up!

>

> I am 34 (crying uncontrollably) years old! I am tired of dancing around my

mom and her feelings. She does not care about mine. She does not care how she

makes me feel. EVER! I have minded my mouth and my whole family has for as

long as I have been alive and I guess my dad has longer than that. I am tired

of " Walking on Eggshells " . I am a grownup. I don't even stand up for myself at

work or in many other arenas...it's because I couldn't or I'd get clobbered

physically or emotionally. I am tired of this. I am tired of covering for her

mental illness. I am tired of dealing with this lady. I don't even think I

trust my own opinion, because she's always right - or thinks she is. WTF...

>

> I am a child of a Nada and I am getting tired of being flexible...dodging the

crossfire....catering to her BPD.... I cannot tell you how tired and done I am.

>

> I have been dating a man for a short time now, but I have known his family for

many years. I spent Christmas Day with his family. It makes me cry, because I

felt love in that home. A feeling I haven't felt in my home. It was amazing to

see the love pour out from them. I am afraid to tell him about my mom's BPD.

She hates when I find someone who loves me. She gets jealous and treats them

badly. I figure I should warn him.

>

> My God. I guess I am just venting/rambling. I am tired, friends. I am

thankful for whatever that was that welled up within me. No doubt she will

either do one of two things (I know her better than she knows herself)- 1.

attack me to others or 2. start hoovering soon, because she knows she has upset

me. She may also choose to " forgive " me, because I am sick right now. She'll

blame my uprising on illness.

>

> Just tired...I am headed for a nap!

>