Financial woes...

[Guest guest]

Hello, I just wanted to share my current experience because I feel very

trapped and alone in this matter. I'm a 21 year-old college student

(junior) with a BPD nada. The problem at this point in my life is that

she controls 95% of my money in that we both have loans out for my

college, rent, etc., but she places them in her own savings account and

distributes it to me when I " ask. " I have no idea how this arrangement

got into place (I never signed up for this), but I know it has a lot to

do with the obvious issue: control.

Right now, I am unemployed between semesters, but when I am employed, I

make minimum wage and am only offered less than 15 hours a week. I'm a

full-time student and I've been struggling with my depression again

off-and-on for the last year or so, so the energy and time available for

a second job are slim to none. I would quit my current job if it weren't

for the fact that it's one of the few things I still enjoy in life!

All told, I have to request money for just about anything I want,

including: cat food, gas, food, rent, bills, doctors appointments, etc.

I know this is bad behavior for many reasons, including the fact that

one of my hot buttons (per how to stop walking on eggshells) is being

lorded over by her/controlled by her, which I know she really enjoys,

and having to deal with it. But any suggestion, as I'm sure you'll

understand, will be met with rage, tears, the cold shoulder,

victimization, or many of these at once--depends on where the roullette

lands today.

What I'm trying to ask is whether or not anyone else has had this

problem--even in a broader sense, in any way that the BP had something

you needed and, given the circumstances, you couldn't get it elsewhere

or escape--and if so, if you could share your stories, I'd greatly,

greatly appreciate it.

Thank you, everyone. It's so nice to finally hear that I'm not alone

from the fingertips of the people who are like me, rather than a distant

psychologist or BPD manual. It's very liberating.

Elle