Re: Feel like no progress is being made...

[Guest guest]

I have no answers here, just a shared desire to hear input from more experienced

members. I can really relate to eating plenty of something only to have a

renewed vigor for eating lots more of it later.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

[Guest guest]

I have no answers here, just a shared desire to hear input from more experienced

members. I can really relate to eating plenty of something only to have a

renewed vigor for eating lots more of it later.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

[Guest guest]

I have no answers here, just a shared desire to hear input from more experienced

members. I can really relate to eating plenty of something only to have a

renewed vigor for eating lots more of it later.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

[Guest guest]

U should be my loose weight partner this is exactly how I feel lol

Sent from my LG phone

's Android wrote:

>I have no answers here, just a shared desire to hear input from more

experienced members. I can really relate to eating plenty of something only to

have a renewed vigor for eating lots more of it later.

>

>

>Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

[Guest guest]

U should be my loose weight partner this is exactly how I feel lol

Sent from my LG phone

's Android wrote:

>I have no answers here, just a shared desire to hear input from more

experienced members. I can really relate to eating plenty of something only to

have a renewed vigor for eating lots more of it later.

>

>

>Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

[Guest guest]

Hi Barb

Sorry to hear that you are having such a struggle - we all have them - sometimes

they last a long time and sometimes just asking for help and putting it out

there seems to be create the way forward.

On one of the other boards Koenig (who wrote The Rules of Normal Eating &

The Food and Feelings Workbook) suggested focusing on seeing ourselves as

needing to develop our skills - we are currently feeling unskilled but we can

change this. The skill I have chosen to focus on is making myself sit down to

eat. It's a small thing - but the very act of getting out a plate and cutlery

and grabbing a napkin makes the whole act of eating so much more self nurturing

and I find myself more able to focus on the food and enjoy it.

Why not chose to focus on ONE skill in the next few days and see how you go -

babysteps - I'm confident we'll get there - I already can't see myself ever

going back on a diet ever again...and that's after 30 years of being on and off

one and it messing with my head bigtime. The freedom of that decision alone is

wonderful.

Sending you encouragement and good wishes

Clare

>

> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>

> Barb

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Barb

Sorry to hear that you are having such a struggle - we all have them - sometimes

they last a long time and sometimes just asking for help and putting it out

there seems to be create the way forward.

On one of the other boards Koenig (who wrote The Rules of Normal Eating &

The Food and Feelings Workbook) suggested focusing on seeing ourselves as

needing to develop our skills - we are currently feeling unskilled but we can

change this. The skill I have chosen to focus on is making myself sit down to

eat. It's a small thing - but the very act of getting out a plate and cutlery

and grabbing a napkin makes the whole act of eating so much more self nurturing

and I find myself more able to focus on the food and enjoy it.

Why not chose to focus on ONE skill in the next few days and see how you go -

babysteps - I'm confident we'll get there - I already can't see myself ever

going back on a diet ever again...and that's after 30 years of being on and off

one and it messing with my head bigtime. The freedom of that decision alone is

wonderful.

Sending you encouragement and good wishes

Clare

>

> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>

> Barb

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Barb

Sorry to hear that you are having such a struggle - we all have them - sometimes

they last a long time and sometimes just asking for help and putting it out

there seems to be create the way forward.

On one of the other boards Koenig (who wrote The Rules of Normal Eating &

The Food and Feelings Workbook) suggested focusing on seeing ourselves as

needing to develop our skills - we are currently feeling unskilled but we can

change this. The skill I have chosen to focus on is making myself sit down to

eat. It's a small thing - but the very act of getting out a plate and cutlery

and grabbing a napkin makes the whole act of eating so much more self nurturing

and I find myself more able to focus on the food and enjoy it.

Why not chose to focus on ONE skill in the next few days and see how you go -

babysteps - I'm confident we'll get there - I already can't see myself ever

going back on a diet ever again...and that's after 30 years of being on and off

one and it messing with my head bigtime. The freedom of that decision alone is

wonderful.

Sending you encouragement and good wishes

Clare

>

> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>

> Barb

>

[Guest guest]

I've been thinking about this one. Have you read the book, "The Gift of Compulsion"? It addresses this issue of being compulsive and how to channel that into a deeper and healthier understanding of oneself while allowing the compulsion to subside. It was very helpful for me.

Aside from that, it seems from your email that you don't really believe you can be a normal eater. I can see how that would bring out the diet demons and negative self talk. If you are eating with the thought (even if subtle and beneath the surface) that you'll always be obsessed with food, that you are out of control, and that you are chronically compulsive, I don't think that is really legalizing. Because how can you be giving yourself permission to eat without judgment if someone is always whispering in your ear what a bad, compulsive person you are? I get in that mode too, sometimes. Maybe it's not your time to legalize right now. Maybe stepping back a bit and listening to the negative self talk and consciously trying to change that might be a good step? Bring all that negativity out to the surface and try reacting to it. For instance, when the voice says, "you'll never stop eating chocolate," you can say back, "I like chocolate. So what?

I will be able to take it or leave it one day. Liking chocolate doesn't make me a bad person." One thing at a time.

Mimi

Subject: Feel like no progress is being made...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, October 13, 2011, 3:17 PM

I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it. I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?Barb

[Guest guest]

I've been thinking about this one. Have you read the book, "The Gift of Compulsion"? It addresses this issue of being compulsive and how to channel that into a deeper and healthier understanding of oneself while allowing the compulsion to subside. It was very helpful for me.

Aside from that, it seems from your email that you don't really believe you can be a normal eater. I can see how that would bring out the diet demons and negative self talk. If you are eating with the thought (even if subtle and beneath the surface) that you'll always be obsessed with food, that you are out of control, and that you are chronically compulsive, I don't think that is really legalizing. Because how can you be giving yourself permission to eat without judgment if someone is always whispering in your ear what a bad, compulsive person you are? I get in that mode too, sometimes. Maybe it's not your time to legalize right now. Maybe stepping back a bit and listening to the negative self talk and consciously trying to change that might be a good step? Bring all that negativity out to the surface and try reacting to it. For instance, when the voice says, "you'll never stop eating chocolate," you can say back, "I like chocolate. So what?

I will be able to take it or leave it one day. Liking chocolate doesn't make me a bad person." One thing at a time.

Mimi

Subject: Feel like no progress is being made...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, October 13, 2011, 3:17 PM

I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it. I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?Barb

[Guest guest]

I've been thinking about this one. Have you read the book, "The Gift of Compulsion"? It addresses this issue of being compulsive and how to channel that into a deeper and healthier understanding of oneself while allowing the compulsion to subside. It was very helpful for me.

Aside from that, it seems from your email that you don't really believe you can be a normal eater. I can see how that would bring out the diet demons and negative self talk. If you are eating with the thought (even if subtle and beneath the surface) that you'll always be obsessed with food, that you are out of control, and that you are chronically compulsive, I don't think that is really legalizing. Because how can you be giving yourself permission to eat without judgment if someone is always whispering in your ear what a bad, compulsive person you are? I get in that mode too, sometimes. Maybe it's not your time to legalize right now. Maybe stepping back a bit and listening to the negative self talk and consciously trying to change that might be a good step? Bring all that negativity out to the surface and try reacting to it. For instance, when the voice says, "you'll never stop eating chocolate," you can say back, "I like chocolate. So what?

I will be able to take it or leave it one day. Liking chocolate doesn't make me a bad person." One thing at a time.

Mimi

Subject: Feel like no progress is being made...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, October 13, 2011, 3:17 PM

I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it. I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?Barb

[Guest guest]

Barb, I'm glad you wrote, and I can feel your frustration coming through your posting. You have "bought bags and bags of chocolate bars". OK, what kind? Are you getting that one chocolate bar that calls to you the loudest? I went through chocolate with the one candy bar I wanted the most. I don't think I would have got away from wanting chocolate so much if I had tried to handle that want with a variety of chocolate bars. I don't know, maybe you are already getting just your favorite, that's just a thought I had. Or maybe it will just take longer for you to get through chocolate, and later steps will be easier. Or maybe if chocolate feels too threatening to you right now, you could pick one other food and legalise it? Or look through some of the books on IE and choose whatever you

feel is the least threatening idea to you. Oh, and for me, I was not ready by two months to even try legalizing. It was all I could do that first couple of months to try to wait until I was hungry to eat, and to try and stop before I was too full. We're all different, but maybe you're trying to do it all at once and you need to back up a little bit? I hope that's some help. GL

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2011 3:17 PMSubject: Feel like no progress is being made...

I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it. I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?Barb

[Guest guest]

Barb, I'm glad you wrote, and I can feel your frustration coming through your posting. You have "bought bags and bags of chocolate bars". OK, what kind? Are you getting that one chocolate bar that calls to you the loudest? I went through chocolate with the one candy bar I wanted the most. I don't think I would have got away from wanting chocolate so much if I had tried to handle that want with a variety of chocolate bars. I don't know, maybe you are already getting just your favorite, that's just a thought I had. Or maybe it will just take longer for you to get through chocolate, and later steps will be easier. Or maybe if chocolate feels too threatening to you right now, you could pick one other food and legalise it? Or look through some of the books on IE and choose whatever you

feel is the least threatening idea to you. Oh, and for me, I was not ready by two months to even try legalizing. It was all I could do that first couple of months to try to wait until I was hungry to eat, and to try and stop before I was too full. We're all different, but maybe you're trying to do it all at once and you need to back up a little bit? I hope that's some help. GL

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2011 3:17 PMSubject: Feel like no progress is being made...

I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it. I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?Barb

[Guest guest]

Barb, I'm glad you wrote, and I can feel your frustration coming through your posting. You have "bought bags and bags of chocolate bars". OK, what kind? Are you getting that one chocolate bar that calls to you the loudest? I went through chocolate with the one candy bar I wanted the most. I don't think I would have got away from wanting chocolate so much if I had tried to handle that want with a variety of chocolate bars. I don't know, maybe you are already getting just your favorite, that's just a thought I had. Or maybe it will just take longer for you to get through chocolate, and later steps will be easier. Or maybe if chocolate feels too threatening to you right now, you could pick one other food and legalise it? Or look through some of the books on IE and choose whatever you

feel is the least threatening idea to you. Oh, and for me, I was not ready by two months to even try legalizing. It was all I could do that first couple of months to try to wait until I was hungry to eat, and to try and stop before I was too full. We're all different, but maybe you're trying to do it all at once and you need to back up a little bit? I hope that's some help. GL

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2011 3:17 PMSubject: Feel like no progress is being made...

I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it. I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?Barb

[Guest guest]

This may not be what you want to hear since I know I wouldn't have wanted to

hear it when I was in the same place, but a couple of months isn't very long.

It has taken me well over a year to start to feel like I'm really making headway

with IE and even now, I have my days. It's really hard to wrap your head around

the idea that this can be a really slooooooow process, especially when you're

used to the rush that we all know from the first weeks of dieting, when we're at

our most motivated and are usually losing the fastest. IE is the exact opposite

in more ways than one. Whereas with a diet, people lose fast at first, then

start to slow down and even hit plateaus after a while, I think that with IE,

you start with the slow and the plateaus and then make more progress later,

because it takes such a long time to change your thinking along with the habits

of a lifetime. Maybe there are people who " get it " right away, apply all the

principals perfectly, stop craving junk foods and start losing all their weight

immediately, but I have yet to come across one.

I just said this in another post, but the last year for me has been about

continually trying different things. When something didn't work, I did

something else. I'd read a different book, or search for a different

perspective, or play different games with food. The important thing is to just

keep trying. The discouragement is normal. The fear that you are the one

person for whom this is never going to work is normal. The feeling that you are

never going to stop stuffing your face is normal. Been there. Done that. A

thousand times. The one thing that kept me going was knowing that no matter how

crappy I felt, I'd feel worse if I went back to dieting, because I had truly

reached the absolute rock bottom as far as dieting was concerned. So, I really

didn't have any other options but to keep trying different things until

something started working for me.

The only other thing I will add is that, for me, the other key factor in having

IE start to make more sense, was addressing the other things in my life that

just weren't working. This took the help of a good therapist, but has made a

world of difference. I hadn't fully admitted to myself how empty my life was in

so many areas. I was filling that emptiness with food, literally. When I

started caring for myself in those ways - whether it be with regard to

relationships, my job, or even something as simple as engaging in hobbies I

enjoy, which I totally wasn't doing! - it made IE much more doable for me. Then

I could start to feel the fullness signals and the hunger and how certain foods

made my body feel, which I couldn't do before. My nutritionist says that's the

" curse of awareness' and that once you have it, you can't go back. Now, even if

I'm upset about something or eating mindlessly, or what have you, I have that

awareness of how my body feels and I will stop *much* sooner than I would have

before. It's not the same as only craving lettuce and celery sticks (which I

think, deep down, is something many of us hope will happen), but that doesn't

mean it's not progress.

This has made me realize, that for me, at least, this battle has never really

been about the food. Prior to starting this process I would have sworn on a

stack of a thousand bibles that it *was* about the food. That I just loved it

too much or that there was something about the food itself that made me not want

to stop eating it, but I dont' think that anymore. I think it's all about

what's going on in my head. Get that part together and suddenly, the other

things start to fall into place. It's not quick and easy and it's not always

pleasant. In fact, sometimes it just plain sucks. But ultimately, I think it's

more rewarding and that it's actually sustainable, which dieting *never* was.

Josie

>

> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>

> Barb

>

[Guest guest]

This may not be what you want to hear since I know I wouldn't have wanted to

hear it when I was in the same place, but a couple of months isn't very long.

It has taken me well over a year to start to feel like I'm really making headway

with IE and even now, I have my days. It's really hard to wrap your head around

the idea that this can be a really slooooooow process, especially when you're

used to the rush that we all know from the first weeks of dieting, when we're at

our most motivated and are usually losing the fastest. IE is the exact opposite

in more ways than one. Whereas with a diet, people lose fast at first, then

start to slow down and even hit plateaus after a while, I think that with IE,

you start with the slow and the plateaus and then make more progress later,

because it takes such a long time to change your thinking along with the habits

of a lifetime. Maybe there are people who " get it " right away, apply all the

principals perfectly, stop craving junk foods and start losing all their weight

immediately, but I have yet to come across one.

I just said this in another post, but the last year for me has been about

continually trying different things. When something didn't work, I did

something else. I'd read a different book, or search for a different

perspective, or play different games with food. The important thing is to just

keep trying. The discouragement is normal. The fear that you are the one

person for whom this is never going to work is normal. The feeling that you are

never going to stop stuffing your face is normal. Been there. Done that. A

thousand times. The one thing that kept me going was knowing that no matter how

crappy I felt, I'd feel worse if I went back to dieting, because I had truly

reached the absolute rock bottom as far as dieting was concerned. So, I really

didn't have any other options but to keep trying different things until

something started working for me.

The only other thing I will add is that, for me, the other key factor in having

IE start to make more sense, was addressing the other things in my life that

just weren't working. This took the help of a good therapist, but has made a

world of difference. I hadn't fully admitted to myself how empty my life was in

so many areas. I was filling that emptiness with food, literally. When I

started caring for myself in those ways - whether it be with regard to

relationships, my job, or even something as simple as engaging in hobbies I

enjoy, which I totally wasn't doing! - it made IE much more doable for me. Then

I could start to feel the fullness signals and the hunger and how certain foods

made my body feel, which I couldn't do before. My nutritionist says that's the

" curse of awareness' and that once you have it, you can't go back. Now, even if

I'm upset about something or eating mindlessly, or what have you, I have that

awareness of how my body feels and I will stop *much* sooner than I would have

before. It's not the same as only craving lettuce and celery sticks (which I

think, deep down, is something many of us hope will happen), but that doesn't

mean it's not progress.

This has made me realize, that for me, at least, this battle has never really

been about the food. Prior to starting this process I would have sworn on a

stack of a thousand bibles that it *was* about the food. That I just loved it

too much or that there was something about the food itself that made me not want

to stop eating it, but I dont' think that anymore. I think it's all about

what's going on in my head. Get that part together and suddenly, the other

things start to fall into place. It's not quick and easy and it's not always

pleasant. In fact, sometimes it just plain sucks. But ultimately, I think it's

more rewarding and that it's actually sustainable, which dieting *never* was.

Josie

>

> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>

> Barb

>

[Guest guest]

This may not be what you want to hear since I know I wouldn't have wanted to

hear it when I was in the same place, but a couple of months isn't very long.

It has taken me well over a year to start to feel like I'm really making headway

with IE and even now, I have my days. It's really hard to wrap your head around

the idea that this can be a really slooooooow process, especially when you're

used to the rush that we all know from the first weeks of dieting, when we're at

our most motivated and are usually losing the fastest. IE is the exact opposite

in more ways than one. Whereas with a diet, people lose fast at first, then

start to slow down and even hit plateaus after a while, I think that with IE,

you start with the slow and the plateaus and then make more progress later,

because it takes such a long time to change your thinking along with the habits

of a lifetime. Maybe there are people who " get it " right away, apply all the

principals perfectly, stop craving junk foods and start losing all their weight

immediately, but I have yet to come across one.

I just said this in another post, but the last year for me has been about

continually trying different things. When something didn't work, I did

something else. I'd read a different book, or search for a different

perspective, or play different games with food. The important thing is to just

keep trying. The discouragement is normal. The fear that you are the one

person for whom this is never going to work is normal. The feeling that you are

never going to stop stuffing your face is normal. Been there. Done that. A

thousand times. The one thing that kept me going was knowing that no matter how

crappy I felt, I'd feel worse if I went back to dieting, because I had truly

reached the absolute rock bottom as far as dieting was concerned. So, I really

didn't have any other options but to keep trying different things until

something started working for me.

The only other thing I will add is that, for me, the other key factor in having

IE start to make more sense, was addressing the other things in my life that

just weren't working. This took the help of a good therapist, but has made a

world of difference. I hadn't fully admitted to myself how empty my life was in

so many areas. I was filling that emptiness with food, literally. When I

started caring for myself in those ways - whether it be with regard to

relationships, my job, or even something as simple as engaging in hobbies I

enjoy, which I totally wasn't doing! - it made IE much more doable for me. Then

I could start to feel the fullness signals and the hunger and how certain foods

made my body feel, which I couldn't do before. My nutritionist says that's the

" curse of awareness' and that once you have it, you can't go back. Now, even if

I'm upset about something or eating mindlessly, or what have you, I have that

awareness of how my body feels and I will stop *much* sooner than I would have

before. It's not the same as only craving lettuce and celery sticks (which I

think, deep down, is something many of us hope will happen), but that doesn't

mean it's not progress.

This has made me realize, that for me, at least, this battle has never really

been about the food. Prior to starting this process I would have sworn on a

stack of a thousand bibles that it *was* about the food. That I just loved it

too much or that there was something about the food itself that made me not want

to stop eating it, but I dont' think that anymore. I think it's all about

what's going on in my head. Get that part together and suddenly, the other

things start to fall into place. It's not quick and easy and it's not always

pleasant. In fact, sometimes it just plain sucks. But ultimately, I think it's

more rewarding and that it's actually sustainable, which dieting *never* was.

Josie

>

> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>

> Barb

>

[Guest guest]

This makes me think of Geneen Roth. I know lots of folks don't care for her and

find her books not detailed enough, but in Women Food and God, she has a great

chapter on " the Voice " which is essentially the negative self talk we all engage

in. I went to one of her workshops where she talked about telling the voice to

f*@k off. It's not for everyone, but I like a good swear word. I find it

cathartic in the right situation. And if anything deserves to be sworn at, it's

" the voice. " But even if you don't want to swear at it, learning how to deal

with all the negative thoughts and feelings the voice can bring up, is really

critical. Again, it's all part of dealing with our heads, which then makes

dealing with the food, much much easier.

Josie

>

> Aside from that, it seems from your email that you don't really believe you

can be a normal eater. I can see how that would bring out the diet demons and

negative self talk. If you are eating with the thought (even if subtle and

beneath the surface) that you'll always be obsessed with food, that you are out

of control, and that you are chronically compulsive, I don't think that is

really legalizing. Because how can you be giving yourself permission to eat

without judgment if someone is always whispering in your ear what a bad,

compulsive person you are? I get in that mode too, sometimes. Maybe it's not

your time to legalize right now. Maybe stepping back a bit and listening to the

negative self talk and consciously trying to change that might be a good step? 

Bring all that negativity out to the surface and try reacting to it. For

instance, when the voice says, " you'll never stop eating chocolate, " you can say

back, " I like chocolate. So what? I will be

> able to take it or leave it one day. Liking chocolate doesn't make me a bad

person. " One thing at a time.

>  

[Guest guest]

This makes me think of Geneen Roth. I know lots of folks don't care for her and

find her books not detailed enough, but in Women Food and God, she has a great

chapter on " the Voice " which is essentially the negative self talk we all engage

in. I went to one of her workshops where she talked about telling the voice to

f*@k off. It's not for everyone, but I like a good swear word. I find it

cathartic in the right situation. And if anything deserves to be sworn at, it's

" the voice. " But even if you don't want to swear at it, learning how to deal

with all the negative thoughts and feelings the voice can bring up, is really

critical. Again, it's all part of dealing with our heads, which then makes

dealing with the food, much much easier.

Josie

>

> Aside from that, it seems from your email that you don't really believe you

can be a normal eater. I can see how that would bring out the diet demons and

negative self talk. If you are eating with the thought (even if subtle and

beneath the surface) that you'll always be obsessed with food, that you are out

of control, and that you are chronically compulsive, I don't think that is

really legalizing. Because how can you be giving yourself permission to eat

without judgment if someone is always whispering in your ear what a bad,

compulsive person you are? I get in that mode too, sometimes. Maybe it's not

your time to legalize right now. Maybe stepping back a bit and listening to the

negative self talk and consciously trying to change that might be a good step? 

Bring all that negativity out to the surface and try reacting to it. For

instance, when the voice says, " you'll never stop eating chocolate, " you can say

back, " I like chocolate. So what? I will be

> able to take it or leave it one day. Liking chocolate doesn't make me a bad

person. " One thing at a time.

>  

[Guest guest]

This makes me think of Geneen Roth. I know lots of folks don't care for her and

find her books not detailed enough, but in Women Food and God, she has a great

chapter on " the Voice " which is essentially the negative self talk we all engage

in. I went to one of her workshops where she talked about telling the voice to

f*@k off. It's not for everyone, but I like a good swear word. I find it

cathartic in the right situation. And if anything deserves to be sworn at, it's

" the voice. " But even if you don't want to swear at it, learning how to deal

with all the negative thoughts and feelings the voice can bring up, is really

critical. Again, it's all part of dealing with our heads, which then makes

dealing with the food, much much easier.

Josie

>

> Aside from that, it seems from your email that you don't really believe you

can be a normal eater. I can see how that would bring out the diet demons and

negative self talk. If you are eating with the thought (even if subtle and

beneath the surface) that you'll always be obsessed with food, that you are out

of control, and that you are chronically compulsive, I don't think that is

really legalizing. Because how can you be giving yourself permission to eat

without judgment if someone is always whispering in your ear what a bad,

compulsive person you are? I get in that mode too, sometimes. Maybe it's not

your time to legalize right now. Maybe stepping back a bit and listening to the

negative self talk and consciously trying to change that might be a good step? 

Bring all that negativity out to the surface and try reacting to it. For

instance, when the voice says, " you'll never stop eating chocolate, " you can say

back, " I like chocolate. So what? I will be

> able to take it or leave it one day. Liking chocolate doesn't make me a bad

person. " One thing at a time.

>  

[Guest guest]

Josie, this spoke to me so clearly I just saved it to my computer for my "discouraged" days. TY

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2011 6:03 PMSubject: Re: Feel like no progress is being made...

This may not be what you want to hear since I know I wouldn't have wanted to hear it when I was in the same place, but a couple of months isn't very long. It has taken me well over a year to start to feel like I'm really making headway with IE and even now, I have my days. It's really hard to wrap your head around the idea that this can be a really slooooooow process, especially when you're used to the rush that we all know from the first weeks of dieting, when we're at our most motivated and are usually losing the fastest. IE is the exact opposite in more ways than one. Whereas with a diet, people lose fast at first, then start to slow down and even hit plateaus after a while, I think that with IE, you start with the slow and the plateaus and then make more progress later, because it takes such a long time to change your thinking along with the habits of a lifetime. Maybe there are people who "get it" right away, apply all the principals perfectly,

stop craving junk foods and start losing all their weight immediately, but I have yet to come across one. I just said this in another post, but the last year for me has been about continually trying different things. When something didn't work, I did something else. I'd read a different book, or search for a different perspective, or play different games with food. The important thing is to just keep trying. The discouragement is normal. The fear that you are the one person for whom this is never going to work is normal. The feeling that you are never going to stop stuffing your face is normal. Been there. Done that. A thousand times. The one thing that kept me going was knowing that no matter how crappy I felt, I'd feel worse if I went back to dieting, because I had truly reached the absolute rock bottom as far as dieting was concerned. So, I really didn't have any other options but to keep trying different things until something started

working for me.The only other thing I will add is that, for me, the other key factor in having IE start to make more sense, was addressing the other things in my life that just weren't working. This took the help of a good therapist, but has made a world of difference. I hadn't fully admitted to myself how empty my life was in so many areas. I was filling that emptiness with food, literally. When I started caring for myself in those ways - whether it be with regard to relationships, my job, or even something as simple as engaging in hobbies I enjoy, which I totally wasn't doing! - it made IE much more doable for me. Then I could start to feel the fullness signals and the hunger and how certain foods made my body feel, which I couldn't do before. My nutritionist says that's the "curse of awareness' and that once you have it, you can't go back. Now, even if I'm upset about something or eating mindlessly, or what have you, I have that awareness of

how my body feels and I will stop *much* sooner than I would have before. It's not the same as only craving lettuce and celery sticks (which I think, deep down, is something many of us hope will happen), but that doesn't mean it's not progress. This has made me realize, that for me, at least, this battle has never really been about the food. Prior to starting this process I would have sworn on a stack of a thousand bibles that it *was* about the food. That I just loved it too much or that there was something about the food itself that made me not want to stop eating it, but I dont' think that anymore. I think it's all about what's going on in my head. Get that part together and suddenly, the other things start to fall into place. It's not quick and easy and it's not always pleasant. In fact, sometimes it just plain sucks. But ultimately, I think it's more rewarding and that it's actually sustainable, which dieting *never* was. Josie

>> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it. I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes

me cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any thoughts?> > Barb>

[Guest guest]

Josie, this spoke to me so clearly I just saved it to my computer for my "discouraged" days. TY

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2011 6:03 PMSubject: Re: Feel like no progress is being made...

This may not be what you want to hear since I know I wouldn't have wanted to hear it when I was in the same place, but a couple of months isn't very long. It has taken me well over a year to start to feel like I'm really making headway with IE and even now, I have my days. It's really hard to wrap your head around the idea that this can be a really slooooooow process, especially when you're used to the rush that we all know from the first weeks of dieting, when we're at our most motivated and are usually losing the fastest. IE is the exact opposite in more ways than one. Whereas with a diet, people lose fast at first, then start to slow down and even hit plateaus after a while, I think that with IE, you start with the slow and the plateaus and then make more progress later, because it takes such a long time to change your thinking along with the habits of a lifetime. Maybe there are people who "get it" right away, apply all the principals perfectly,

stop craving junk foods and start losing all their weight immediately, but I have yet to come across one. I just said this in another post, but the last year for me has been about continually trying different things. When something didn't work, I did something else. I'd read a different book, or search for a different perspective, or play different games with food. The important thing is to just keep trying. The discouragement is normal. The fear that you are the one person for whom this is never going to work is normal. The feeling that you are never going to stop stuffing your face is normal. Been there. Done that. A thousand times. The one thing that kept me going was knowing that no matter how crappy I felt, I'd feel worse if I went back to dieting, because I had truly reached the absolute rock bottom as far as dieting was concerned. So, I really didn't have any other options but to keep trying different things until something started

working for me.The only other thing I will add is that, for me, the other key factor in having IE start to make more sense, was addressing the other things in my life that just weren't working. This took the help of a good therapist, but has made a world of difference. I hadn't fully admitted to myself how empty my life was in so many areas. I was filling that emptiness with food, literally. When I started caring for myself in those ways - whether it be with regard to relationships, my job, or even something as simple as engaging in hobbies I enjoy, which I totally wasn't doing! - it made IE much more doable for me. Then I could start to feel the fullness signals and the hunger and how certain foods made my body feel, which I couldn't do before. My nutritionist says that's the "curse of awareness' and that once you have it, you can't go back. Now, even if I'm upset about something or eating mindlessly, or what have you, I have that awareness of

how my body feels and I will stop *much* sooner than I would have before. It's not the same as only craving lettuce and celery sticks (which I think, deep down, is something many of us hope will happen), but that doesn't mean it's not progress. This has made me realize, that for me, at least, this battle has never really been about the food. Prior to starting this process I would have sworn on a stack of a thousand bibles that it *was* about the food. That I just loved it too much or that there was something about the food itself that made me not want to stop eating it, but I dont' think that anymore. I think it's all about what's going on in my head. Get that part together and suddenly, the other things start to fall into place. It's not quick and easy and it's not always pleasant. In fact, sometimes it just plain sucks. But ultimately, I think it's more rewarding and that it's actually sustainable, which dieting *never* was. Josie

>> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it. I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes

me cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any thoughts?> > Barb>

[Guest guest]

Josie, this spoke to me so clearly I just saved it to my computer for my "discouraged" days. TY

To: IntuitiveEating_Support Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2011 6:03 PMSubject: Re: Feel like no progress is being made...

This may not be what you want to hear since I know I wouldn't have wanted to hear it when I was in the same place, but a couple of months isn't very long. It has taken me well over a year to start to feel like I'm really making headway with IE and even now, I have my days. It's really hard to wrap your head around the idea that this can be a really slooooooow process, especially when you're used to the rush that we all know from the first weeks of dieting, when we're at our most motivated and are usually losing the fastest. IE is the exact opposite in more ways than one. Whereas with a diet, people lose fast at first, then start to slow down and even hit plateaus after a while, I think that with IE, you start with the slow and the plateaus and then make more progress later, because it takes such a long time to change your thinking along with the habits of a lifetime. Maybe there are people who "get it" right away, apply all the principals perfectly,

stop craving junk foods and start losing all their weight immediately, but I have yet to come across one. I just said this in another post, but the last year for me has been about continually trying different things. When something didn't work, I did something else. I'd read a different book, or search for a different perspective, or play different games with food. The important thing is to just keep trying. The discouragement is normal. The fear that you are the one person for whom this is never going to work is normal. The feeling that you are never going to stop stuffing your face is normal. Been there. Done that. A thousand times. The one thing that kept me going was knowing that no matter how crappy I felt, I'd feel worse if I went back to dieting, because I had truly reached the absolute rock bottom as far as dieting was concerned. So, I really didn't have any other options but to keep trying different things until something started

working for me.The only other thing I will add is that, for me, the other key factor in having IE start to make more sense, was addressing the other things in my life that just weren't working. This took the help of a good therapist, but has made a world of difference. I hadn't fully admitted to myself how empty my life was in so many areas. I was filling that emptiness with food, literally. When I started caring for myself in those ways - whether it be with regard to relationships, my job, or even something as simple as engaging in hobbies I enjoy, which I totally wasn't doing! - it made IE much more doable for me. Then I could start to feel the fullness signals and the hunger and how certain foods made my body feel, which I couldn't do before. My nutritionist says that's the "curse of awareness' and that once you have it, you can't go back. Now, even if I'm upset about something or eating mindlessly, or what have you, I have that awareness of

how my body feels and I will stop *much* sooner than I would have before. It's not the same as only craving lettuce and celery sticks (which I think, deep down, is something many of us hope will happen), but that doesn't mean it's not progress. This has made me realize, that for me, at least, this battle has never really been about the food. Prior to starting this process I would have sworn on a stack of a thousand bibles that it *was* about the food. That I just loved it too much or that there was something about the food itself that made me not want to stop eating it, but I dont' think that anymore. I think it's all about what's going on in my head. Get that part together and suddenly, the other things start to fall into place. It's not quick and easy and it's not always pleasant. In fact, sometimes it just plain sucks. But ultimately, I think it's more rewarding and that it's actually sustainable, which dieting *never* was. Josie

>> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it. I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes

me cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any thoughts?> > Barb>

[Guest guest]

Barb, I see that other members have made some pretty good feedback for you

already.

I too took months to legalize chocolate for myself. I think I first enjoyed the

freedom to eat it and just took longer to get to where I FINALLY got to where it

wasn't all that 'Wow! Yummy!' for me.

The second thought that popped into my head was I wondered how you would respond

to a beloved little child that was suffering from the same problem that you find

yourself in. Its often way easier for us to be kind and helpful to others than

to ourselves. And since little children are usually innocent and in need of

tender care, seeing our problems from that perspective can be a good way to

develop a caring method for ourselves.

IE can be one of those 'Its simple but not easy' undertakings. Expecting fast or

total achievement of suggested practices in a short time is as big a set up for

feelings of failure as dieting does. I say GOOD JOB for posting about this and I

sincerely hope to hear from you again, maybe with a small but happy baby step

:-)

BEST wishes for you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>

> Barb

>

[Guest guest]

Barb, I see that other members have made some pretty good feedback for you

already.

I too took months to legalize chocolate for myself. I think I first enjoyed the

freedom to eat it and just took longer to get to where I FINALLY got to where it

wasn't all that 'Wow! Yummy!' for me.

The second thought that popped into my head was I wondered how you would respond

to a beloved little child that was suffering from the same problem that you find

yourself in. Its often way easier for us to be kind and helpful to others than

to ourselves. And since little children are usually innocent and in need of

tender care, seeing our problems from that perspective can be a good way to

develop a caring method for ourselves.

IE can be one of those 'Its simple but not easy' undertakings. Expecting fast or

total achievement of suggested practices in a short time is as big a set up for

feelings of failure as dieting does. I say GOOD JOB for posting about this and I

sincerely hope to hear from you again, maybe with a small but happy baby step

:-)

BEST wishes for you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>

> Barb

>