Re: Feel like no progress is being made...

[Guest guest]

Barb, I see that other members have made some pretty good feedback for you

already.

I too took months to legalize chocolate for myself. I think I first enjoyed the

freedom to eat it and just took longer to get to where I FINALLY got to where it

wasn't all that 'Wow! Yummy!' for me.

The second thought that popped into my head was I wondered how you would respond

to a beloved little child that was suffering from the same problem that you find

yourself in. Its often way easier for us to be kind and helpful to others than

to ourselves. And since little children are usually innocent and in need of

tender care, seeing our problems from that perspective can be a good way to

develop a caring method for ourselves.

IE can be one of those 'Its simple but not easy' undertakings. Expecting fast or

total achievement of suggested practices in a short time is as big a set up for

feelings of failure as dieting does. I say GOOD JOB for posting about this and I

sincerely hope to hear from you again, maybe with a small but happy baby step

:-)

BEST wishes for you, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>

> Barb

>

[Guest guest]

Josie, you said that you have found IE to be more rewarding and actually

sustainable. I can really see how this would be true. To me, life has often been

most comfortable when I had a sense of being in control, but when I control my

eating, it distracts me from the realities in my life in areas I do not and

cannot and should not even try to control. I'm learning that being aware of my

hunger and fullness isn't a static experience and it's very new to me to trust

that variation is a fine and acceptable part of life and that I don't have to

control everything. The irony is that while I have periods where I'm the captain

of my diet, there are times where I am a complete slave to food. Having a vision

of " radical acceptance " of my desires, cravings, wants, related to food is so

exciting to step into. Thank you to all of you who are so encouraging.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

JT wrote:

>Josie, this spoke to me so clearly I just saved it to my computer for my

" discouraged " days. TY

>

>

>

>To: IntuitiveEating_Support

>Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2011 6:03 PM

>Subject: Re: Feel like no progress is being made...

>

>

> 

>This may not be what you want to hear since I know I wouldn't have wanted to

hear it when I was in the same place, but a couple of months isn't very long. It

has taken me well over a year to start to feel like I'm really making headway

with IE and even now, I have my days. It's really hard to wrap your head around

the idea that this can be a really slooooooow process, especially when you're

used to the rush that we all know from the first weeks of dieting, when we're at

our most motivated and are usually losing the fastest. IE is the exact opposite

in more ways than one. Whereas with a diet, people lose fast at first, then

start to slow down and even hit plateaus after a while, I think that with IE,

you start with the slow and the plateaus and then make more progress later,

because it takes such a long time to change your thinking along with the habits

of a lifetime. Maybe there are people who " get it " right away, apply all the

principals perfectly, stop

> craving junk foods and start losing all their weight immediately, but I have

yet to come across one.

>

>I just said this in another post, but the last year for me has been about

continually trying different things. When something didn't work, I did something

else. I'd read a different book, or search for a different perspective, or play

different games with food. The important thing is to just keep trying. The

discouragement is normal. The fear that you are the one person for whom this is

never going to work is normal. The feeling that you are never going to stop

stuffing your face is normal. Been there. Done that. A thousand times. The one

thing that kept me going was knowing that no matter how crappy I felt, I'd feel

worse if I went back to dieting, because I had truly reached the absolute rock

bottom as far as dieting was concerned. So, I really didn't have any other

options but to keep trying different things until something started working for

me.

>

>The only other thing I will add is that, for me, the other key factor in having

IE start to make more sense, was addressing the other things in my life that

just weren't working. This took the help of a good therapist, but has made a

world of difference. I hadn't fully admitted to myself how empty my life was in

so many areas. I was filling that emptiness with food, literally. When I started

caring for myself in those ways - whether it be with regard to relationships, my

job, or even something as simple as engaging in hobbies I enjoy, which I totally

wasn't doing! - it made IE much more doable for me. Then I could start to feel

the fullness signals and the hunger and how certain foods made my body feel,

which I couldn't do before. My nutritionist says that's the " curse of awareness'

and that once you have it, you can't go back. Now, even if I'm upset about

something or eating mindlessly, or what have you, I have that awareness of how

my body feels and I

> will stop *much* sooner than I would have before. It's not the same as only

craving lettuce and celery sticks (which I think, deep down, is something many

of us hope will happen), but that doesn't mean it's not progress.

>

>This has made me realize, that for me, at least, this battle has never really

been about the food. Prior to starting this process I would have sworn on a

stack of a thousand bibles that it *was* about the food. That I just loved it

too much or that there was something about the food itself that made me not want

to stop eating it, but I dont' think that anymore. I think it's all about what's

going on in my head. Get that part together and suddenly, the other things start

to fall into place. It's not quick and easy and it's not always pleasant. In

fact, sometimes it just plain sucks. But ultimately, I think it's more rewarding

and that it's actually sustainable, which dieting *never* was.

>

>Josie

>

>

>>

>> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>>

>> Barb

>>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Josie, you said that you have found IE to be more rewarding and actually

sustainable. I can really see how this would be true. To me, life has often been

most comfortable when I had a sense of being in control, but when I control my

eating, it distracts me from the realities in my life in areas I do not and

cannot and should not even try to control. I'm learning that being aware of my

hunger and fullness isn't a static experience and it's very new to me to trust

that variation is a fine and acceptable part of life and that I don't have to

control everything. The irony is that while I have periods where I'm the captain

of my diet, there are times where I am a complete slave to food. Having a vision

of " radical acceptance " of my desires, cravings, wants, related to food is so

exciting to step into. Thank you to all of you who are so encouraging.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

JT wrote:

>Josie, this spoke to me so clearly I just saved it to my computer for my

" discouraged " days. TY

>

>

>

>To: IntuitiveEating_Support

>Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2011 6:03 PM

>Subject: Re: Feel like no progress is being made...

>

>

> 

>This may not be what you want to hear since I know I wouldn't have wanted to

hear it when I was in the same place, but a couple of months isn't very long. It

has taken me well over a year to start to feel like I'm really making headway

with IE and even now, I have my days. It's really hard to wrap your head around

the idea that this can be a really slooooooow process, especially when you're

used to the rush that we all know from the first weeks of dieting, when we're at

our most motivated and are usually losing the fastest. IE is the exact opposite

in more ways than one. Whereas with a diet, people lose fast at first, then

start to slow down and even hit plateaus after a while, I think that with IE,

you start with the slow and the plateaus and then make more progress later,

because it takes such a long time to change your thinking along with the habits

of a lifetime. Maybe there are people who " get it " right away, apply all the

principals perfectly, stop

> craving junk foods and start losing all their weight immediately, but I have

yet to come across one.

>

>I just said this in another post, but the last year for me has been about

continually trying different things. When something didn't work, I did something

else. I'd read a different book, or search for a different perspective, or play

different games with food. The important thing is to just keep trying. The

discouragement is normal. The fear that you are the one person for whom this is

never going to work is normal. The feeling that you are never going to stop

stuffing your face is normal. Been there. Done that. A thousand times. The one

thing that kept me going was knowing that no matter how crappy I felt, I'd feel

worse if I went back to dieting, because I had truly reached the absolute rock

bottom as far as dieting was concerned. So, I really didn't have any other

options but to keep trying different things until something started working for

me.

>

>The only other thing I will add is that, for me, the other key factor in having

IE start to make more sense, was addressing the other things in my life that

just weren't working. This took the help of a good therapist, but has made a

world of difference. I hadn't fully admitted to myself how empty my life was in

so many areas. I was filling that emptiness with food, literally. When I started

caring for myself in those ways - whether it be with regard to relationships, my

job, or even something as simple as engaging in hobbies I enjoy, which I totally

wasn't doing! - it made IE much more doable for me. Then I could start to feel

the fullness signals and the hunger and how certain foods made my body feel,

which I couldn't do before. My nutritionist says that's the " curse of awareness'

and that once you have it, you can't go back. Now, even if I'm upset about

something or eating mindlessly, or what have you, I have that awareness of how

my body feels and I

> will stop *much* sooner than I would have before. It's not the same as only

craving lettuce and celery sticks (which I think, deep down, is something many

of us hope will happen), but that doesn't mean it's not progress.

>

>This has made me realize, that for me, at least, this battle has never really

been about the food. Prior to starting this process I would have sworn on a

stack of a thousand bibles that it *was* about the food. That I just loved it

too much or that there was something about the food itself that made me not want

to stop eating it, but I dont' think that anymore. I think it's all about what's

going on in my head. Get that part together and suddenly, the other things start

to fall into place. It's not quick and easy and it's not always pleasant. In

fact, sometimes it just plain sucks. But ultimately, I think it's more rewarding

and that it's actually sustainable, which dieting *never* was.

>

>Josie

>

>

>>

>> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>>

>> Barb

>>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Josie, you said that you have found IE to be more rewarding and actually

sustainable. I can really see how this would be true. To me, life has often been

most comfortable when I had a sense of being in control, but when I control my

eating, it distracts me from the realities in my life in areas I do not and

cannot and should not even try to control. I'm learning that being aware of my

hunger and fullness isn't a static experience and it's very new to me to trust

that variation is a fine and acceptable part of life and that I don't have to

control everything. The irony is that while I have periods where I'm the captain

of my diet, there are times where I am a complete slave to food. Having a vision

of " radical acceptance " of my desires, cravings, wants, related to food is so

exciting to step into. Thank you to all of you who are so encouraging.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

JT wrote:

>Josie, this spoke to me so clearly I just saved it to my computer for my

" discouraged " days. TY

>

>

>

>To: IntuitiveEating_Support

>Sent: Thursday, October 13, 2011 6:03 PM

>Subject: Re: Feel like no progress is being made...

>

>

> 

>This may not be what you want to hear since I know I wouldn't have wanted to

hear it when I was in the same place, but a couple of months isn't very long. It

has taken me well over a year to start to feel like I'm really making headway

with IE and even now, I have my days. It's really hard to wrap your head around

the idea that this can be a really slooooooow process, especially when you're

used to the rush that we all know from the first weeks of dieting, when we're at

our most motivated and are usually losing the fastest. IE is the exact opposite

in more ways than one. Whereas with a diet, people lose fast at first, then

start to slow down and even hit plateaus after a while, I think that with IE,

you start with the slow and the plateaus and then make more progress later,

because it takes such a long time to change your thinking along with the habits

of a lifetime. Maybe there are people who " get it " right away, apply all the

principals perfectly, stop

> craving junk foods and start losing all their weight immediately, but I have

yet to come across one.

>

>I just said this in another post, but the last year for me has been about

continually trying different things. When something didn't work, I did something

else. I'd read a different book, or search for a different perspective, or play

different games with food. The important thing is to just keep trying. The

discouragement is normal. The fear that you are the one person for whom this is

never going to work is normal. The feeling that you are never going to stop

stuffing your face is normal. Been there. Done that. A thousand times. The one

thing that kept me going was knowing that no matter how crappy I felt, I'd feel

worse if I went back to dieting, because I had truly reached the absolute rock

bottom as far as dieting was concerned. So, I really didn't have any other

options but to keep trying different things until something started working for

me.

>

>The only other thing I will add is that, for me, the other key factor in having

IE start to make more sense, was addressing the other things in my life that

just weren't working. This took the help of a good therapist, but has made a

world of difference. I hadn't fully admitted to myself how empty my life was in

so many areas. I was filling that emptiness with food, literally. When I started

caring for myself in those ways - whether it be with regard to relationships, my

job, or even something as simple as engaging in hobbies I enjoy, which I totally

wasn't doing! - it made IE much more doable for me. Then I could start to feel

the fullness signals and the hunger and how certain foods made my body feel,

which I couldn't do before. My nutritionist says that's the " curse of awareness'

and that once you have it, you can't go back. Now, even if I'm upset about

something or eating mindlessly, or what have you, I have that awareness of how

my body feels and I

> will stop *much* sooner than I would have before. It's not the same as only

craving lettuce and celery sticks (which I think, deep down, is something many

of us hope will happen), but that doesn't mean it's not progress.

>

>This has made me realize, that for me, at least, this battle has never really

been about the food. Prior to starting this process I would have sworn on a

stack of a thousand bibles that it *was* about the food. That I just loved it

too much or that there was something about the food itself that made me not want

to stop eating it, but I dont' think that anymore. I think it's all about what's

going on in my head. Get that part together and suddenly, the other things start

to fall into place. It's not quick and easy and it's not always pleasant. In

fact, sometimes it just plain sucks. But ultimately, I think it's more rewarding

and that it's actually sustainable, which dieting *never* was.

>

>Josie

>

>

>>

>> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>>

>> Barb

>>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I struggled with compulsive eating for years, especially with sweets and

chocolate! I understand that pull, and what you said about getting sick of them

one day and waking up the next ready for the next round sounds very familiar.

My advice would be to be as conscious as you can while eating that chocolate,

really taste it and pay attention to your emotions before, during and right

after, and notice how your body feels. Do you know of anything that triggers

your need for chocolate? Understanding my emotional need for food was the key to

" getting " IE. I was compulsive because my emotions were totally out of control.

Also something to consider, you may have a nutrient deficiency or possibly blood

sugar issues, because both of those things can fuel compulsive eating (also from

experience) so that may be something to check out. Sometimes deficiencies cause

cravings for totally unrelated things.

Good luck!

>

> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>

> Barb

>

[Guest guest]

Josie Said, " It's really hard to wrap your head around the idea that this can be a really slooooooow process, especially when you're used to the rush that we all know from the first weeks of dieting, when we're at our most motivated and are usually losing the fastest. IE is the exact opposite in more ways than one. Whereas with a diet, people lose fast at first, then start to slow down and even hit plateaus after a while, I think that with IE, you start with the slow and the plateaus and then make more progress later, because it takes such a long time to change your thinking along with the habits of a lifetime."I think this is so important to realize. The process of changing one's thinking rather than moderating one's actions for the short-term (diet) is so much more involved, slow, and, ultimately, real. But I totally understand the frustrations in the meantime. I've been working a lot at changing my thinking, but in truth it will click when you are ready. There are some things that have clicked for me -- meaning that I really believe them now -- like the fact that I'm not a bad and weak person because I crave certain foods. But other truths I'm not ready for. I still look in the mirror sometimes and think that thinner is always better, but I'm making progress on that one, too. Thanks for the thoughts, Josie.Mimi\

[Guest guest]

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who responded. Every response hit

home for me and really gives me a lot to think about. I had time to sleep on it

and am feeling much better about things today. I think what really triggered me

off was my husband bringing home a box of our hometowns famous chocolate. It was

an early sweetest day gift. My 3 kids love it as well and haven't had a chance

to have a piece of it, yet being home w/ it all day and it kept calling my name

but I had to keep telling myself " no more " or the kids will know I've about

eaten 1/2 the box myself. I think telling myself I couldn't have anymore really

sent me down the path of destruction which turned into me eating everything else

in the house which turned into me having horrible feelings about myself. The

rest of the box is now in the freezer and I don't like it frozen and having to

wait for it to thaw is to time consuming so I think I'm good now. I also

realized last night that the chocolate isn't even my favorite anymore but I

continued to eat it because it was there. I realized that I love the Lindt

truffles a ton better. Me and chocolate need to learn how to get along and exist

together in a friendly manner! lol. Thank you again, you all gave me some great

things to think about. It was a huge relief to wake up and know that I'm not

going on another diet because of what I did yesterday because in the past that's

what I would have done...diet #2456! Slow and steady wins the race!

Barb

>

> I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

>

> Barb

>

[Guest guest]

I love this, : "Having a vision of "radical acceptance" of my desires, cravings, wants, related to food is so exciting to step into." It IS radical, isn't it? Compared to what we've been taught -- to fight, reject, abhor, and deny our desires and cravings related to food, acceptance is radical -- and wonderful.MimiSubject: Re: Re: Feel like no progress is being made...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Thursday, October 13, 2011, 9:01 PM

Josie, you said that you have found IE to be more rewarding and actually sustainable. I can really see how this would be true. To me, life has often been most comfortable when I had a sense of being in control, but when I control my eating, it distracts me from the realities in my life in areas I do not and cannot and should not even try to control. I'm learning that being aware of my hunger and fullness isn't a static experience and it's very new to me to trust that variation is a fine and acceptable part of life and that I don't have to control everything. The irony is that while I have periods where I'm the captain of my diet, there are times where I am a complete slave to food. Having a vision of "radical acceptance" of my desires, cravings, wants, related to food is so exciting to step into. Thank you to all of you who are so encouraging.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

..

[Guest guest]

Just wanted to say great post Josie. I'm keeping this in my file of

favorites... Thanks. Sandarah

> >

> > I've been working IE for a couple months now and feel like I'm not getting

anywhere. I've tried legalizing food and feel like I could just always eat it.

I've bought bags and bags of chocolate bars and by the end of the day I'm just

sick of eating them only to start w/ fresh feelings about it the next day and

overeating it again. Anytime I eat when I know I'm not hungry I just chalk it up

to the learning process but honestly, I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I

feel like a complete food addict and feel like no matter what or how much I eat

of something it will never become just another food for me. Today I find myself

reading the food addicts website and I see their food plan and it makes me

cringe to think of going on something like that but right now I'm feeling like

IE is just adding fuel to my food compulsiveness fire. I just can't ever see

myself not being obsessed w/ food and I'm finding it very disturbing. Any

thoughts?

> >

> > Barb

> >

>