Re: Warning Lights... stress and anger

[Guest guest]

" I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. "

The other day I bumped into the dim realization that I keep excusing my eating

because I'm in a stressful situation, or will be soon. Whether it be family

dinner, lunch at work, dinner out, breakfast when rushed - it's always some kind

of stress. And, therefore, an excuse. I think I have it in my mind that I will

only be able to eat normally when I'm living in an ashram and my food is

mysteriously slid under the curtain by unseen hands. Even though I've now

observed that, it's still in play... Waiting for peace... then I'll be able to

eat normally... Arg.

I don't know about the angry thing. I've read/heard that too. Hmmm.

Sandarah

>

> It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry

people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which

really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly

been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it.

>

> I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy "

by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary

emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs,

or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a

warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood.

>

> I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that

the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch

of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is

creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I

can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm

eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a

peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family

crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem,

the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and

certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse,

but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease

the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears.

>

> I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I

hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly.

>

> Jane

>

[Guest guest]

I understand that feeling. For me it's related to the way I used to think about diets: I will be able to do x,y,z when I am finally successful on a diet and lose the weight. It's like I didn't think I deserved the reward, whatever it was, until I was "good." So maybe you don't feel like you deserve to really eat intuitively until all the stress in your life has passed. If you're a list-maker like me you may also feel that it's too chaotic to be going through all your stress, PLUS trying to honor your body and eat intuitively. It's like, "first take care of one thing, then we can get to IE." So, I wouldn't necessarily look at it as an excuse, but an explanation of what's going on in your life right now. And you can get past it. Stress may explain why you are overeating in any given situation, but it doesn't doom you to always do that.

Mimi

Subject: Re: Warning Lights... stress and angerTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 10:47 PM

"I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly."The other day I bumped into the dim realization that I keep excusing my eating because I'm in a stressful situation, or will be soon. Whether it be family dinner, lunch at work, dinner out, breakfast when rushed - it's always some kind of stress. And, therefore, an excuse. I think I have it in my mind that I will only be able to eat normally when I'm living in an ashram and my food is mysteriously slid under the curtain by unseen hands. Even though I've now observed that, it's still in play... Waiting for peace... then I'll be able to eat normally... Arg. I don't know about the angry thing. I've read/heard that too. Hmmm.Sandarah

[Guest guest]

I understand that feeling. For me it's related to the way I used to think about diets: I will be able to do x,y,z when I am finally successful on a diet and lose the weight. It's like I didn't think I deserved the reward, whatever it was, until I was "good." So maybe you don't feel like you deserve to really eat intuitively until all the stress in your life has passed. If you're a list-maker like me you may also feel that it's too chaotic to be going through all your stress, PLUS trying to honor your body and eat intuitively. It's like, "first take care of one thing, then we can get to IE." So, I wouldn't necessarily look at it as an excuse, but an explanation of what's going on in your life right now. And you can get past it. Stress may explain why you are overeating in any given situation, but it doesn't doom you to always do that.

Mimi

Subject: Re: Warning Lights... stress and angerTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 10:47 PM

"I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly."The other day I bumped into the dim realization that I keep excusing my eating because I'm in a stressful situation, or will be soon. Whether it be family dinner, lunch at work, dinner out, breakfast when rushed - it's always some kind of stress. And, therefore, an excuse. I think I have it in my mind that I will only be able to eat normally when I'm living in an ashram and my food is mysteriously slid under the curtain by unseen hands. Even though I've now observed that, it's still in play... Waiting for peace... then I'll be able to eat normally... Arg. I don't know about the angry thing. I've read/heard that too. Hmmm.Sandarah

[Guest guest]

I understand that feeling. For me it's related to the way I used to think about diets: I will be able to do x,y,z when I am finally successful on a diet and lose the weight. It's like I didn't think I deserved the reward, whatever it was, until I was "good." So maybe you don't feel like you deserve to really eat intuitively until all the stress in your life has passed. If you're a list-maker like me you may also feel that it's too chaotic to be going through all your stress, PLUS trying to honor your body and eat intuitively. It's like, "first take care of one thing, then we can get to IE." So, I wouldn't necessarily look at it as an excuse, but an explanation of what's going on in your life right now. And you can get past it. Stress may explain why you are overeating in any given situation, but it doesn't doom you to always do that.

Mimi

Subject: Re: Warning Lights... stress and angerTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Saturday, October 29, 2011, 10:47 PM

"I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly."The other day I bumped into the dim realization that I keep excusing my eating because I'm in a stressful situation, or will be soon. Whether it be family dinner, lunch at work, dinner out, breakfast when rushed - it's always some kind of stress. And, therefore, an excuse. I think I have it in my mind that I will only be able to eat normally when I'm living in an ashram and my food is mysteriously slid under the curtain by unseen hands. Even though I've now observed that, it's still in play... Waiting for peace... then I'll be able to eat normally... Arg. I don't know about the angry thing. I've read/heard that too. Hmmm.Sandarah