Re: Warning Lights... stress and anger

[Guest guest]

" I hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly. "

The other day I bumped into the dim realization that I keep excusing my eating

because I'm in a stressful situation, or will be soon. Whether it be family

dinner, lunch at work, dinner out, breakfast when rushed - it's always some kind

of stress. And, therefore, an excuse. I think I have it in my mind that I will

only be able to eat normally when I'm living in an ashram and my food is

mysteriously slid under the curtain by unseen hands. Even though I've now

observed that, it's still in play... Waiting for peace... then I'll be able to

eat normally... Arg.

I don't know about the angry thing. I've read/heard that too. Hmmm.

Sandarah

>

> It seems to me that a lot of the fat women I know seem to be really angry

people. Some hide it better than others, but anger seems to be something which

really gets in the way for a number of the fat women I know. It's certainly

been a problem for me and I've been trying to deal with it.

>

> I've been reading a book about anger called " Overcoming Emotions That Destroy "

by Pastor Chip Ingram. I just finished a chapter about how anger is a secondary

emotion which indicates that there is a deeper issue, often hurt, unmet needs,

or the insecurity common to all human beings. The idea is that anger is like a

warning light on the dashboard that something is wrong under the hood.

>

> I've been thinking about how this is JUST LIKE OVEREATING. I kid myself that

the problem is the overeating, when actually, I am overeating because of a bunch

of underlying things. It could be just that my emotionally disturbed son is

creating chaos at the dinner table and when people are arguing and yelling, I

can't possibly notice that I'm no longer hungry, since I'm hardly aware that I'm

eating, period. Trying to control the eating is ridiculous; I need to eat in a

peaceful environment instead. When I am hugely stressed-out because of a family

crisis and find myself eating chocolates, the chocolates are not the problem,

the crisis is. Focusing on NOT eating chocolates doesn't work at all, and

certainly, beating myself up for a lack of self-control only makes things worse,

but if I can utilize various tactics to calm myself down and get help to ease

the crisis, presto, the urge to stuff down chocolates disappears.

>

> I wonder if I'm going to find more of these " warning lights " in my life? I

hope I can train myself to deal with the root problems directly.

>

> Jane

>