Re: When Nada Learned to Text

[Guest guest]

Oh my goodness, Jaie!

I can't believe (I do though) that your nada (or any sane human being) would

send you those hateful messages out of the blue. I'm so glad you stood up for

yourself, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Happy you were able to

change your number, and I hope you are able to put some emotional distance

between you and this awful episode.

It's amazing to me the clearly BPD behavior here. You haven't spoken in years,

yet you are " all bad " and she is clearly unhappy so she needs to project that

unhappiness and badness onto you, even though you haven't spoken in 3 years.

No one needs that kind of treatment. I'm glad you were able to stay calm and

just change your number and move on.

Strength & healing!

[Guest guest]

Oh wow Jaie... I am so so sorry that your nada did this to you. Those

words, I can imagine just how they could make you feel fearful & tremble.

God knows I would react the same way. I'm not sure anyone in the same

situation wouldn't.

I'm SO glad you did what was right for you & changed your number. I don't

blame you for not giving it out to any family, I wouldn't either!

I'm just blown away reading what she sent you. That is just so awful. Good

for you for being strong enough to do what you needed to do for you!

((((Jaie))))

Mia

>

[Guest guest]

J, I am so glad you posted those texts. (Thanks for using ** to obscure the

worst words.) I would like to affirm how sick and inappropriate those texts are,

and that they have nothing to do with you and who you really are. Your Nada is

actually texting herself, since you are an extension of her " self " that she's

very disappointed with.

Please don't take them to heart, and do whatever you need to protect yourself.

I'm sure the phone company would take instant action to block texts like that if

you called them for help.

Please don't let it get you down. Do something nice for yourself and think of

the good things in your life that you have gratitude for. It always makes me

feel better when I do that. Go gently amid the noise and haste, as the

Desiderata says (close to it, anyway.)

Gentle Blessings,

AFB

[Guest guest]

J, I am so glad you posted those texts. (Thanks for using ** to obscure the

worst words.) I would like to affirm how sick and inappropriate those texts are,

and that they have nothing to do with you and who you really are. Your Nada is

actually texting herself, since you are an extension of her " self " that she's

very disappointed with.

Please don't take them to heart, and do whatever you need to protect yourself.

I'm sure the phone company would take instant action to block texts like that if

you called them for help.

Please don't let it get you down. Do something nice for yourself and think of

the good things in your life that you have gratitude for. It always makes me

feel better when I do that. Go gently amid the noise and haste, as the

Desiderata says (close to it, anyway.)

Gentle Blessings,

AFB

[Guest guest]

J, I am so glad you posted those texts. (Thanks for using ** to obscure the

worst words.) I would like to affirm how sick and inappropriate those texts are,

and that they have nothing to do with you and who you really are. Your Nada is

actually texting herself, since you are an extension of her " self " that she's

very disappointed with.

Please don't take them to heart, and do whatever you need to protect yourself.

I'm sure the phone company would take instant action to block texts like that if

you called them for help.

Please don't let it get you down. Do something nice for yourself and think of

the good things in your life that you have gratitude for. It always makes me

feel better when I do that. Go gently amid the noise and haste, as the

Desiderata says (close to it, anyway.)

Gentle Blessings,

AFB

[Guest guest]

All I can say is wow. It is unbelievable to see how similar these messages are

across Nadas. Are you sure that isn't my MIL???? Take away the " C " word....

that's the one line she hasn't actually crossed, and everything else is the

same. You are such a disappointment.... how do you like me now?.... Grow the

f*** up.... You treated me like sh** when I loved you so much.... Leave me

alone..... do not ever contact me again..... when are you going to wake up and

see (spouse) is a terrible person?....

I should post my emails so you could see just how similar they are.

I don't have much to say other than, I know what you feel like. My MIL uses

email. It never stops. It is incredible.

>

> 3 weeks ago, one of my family members accidentally passed my phone number to

nada. I've not spoken to her in 3 years. Our last communications were me

calling and leaving her a message telling her happy birthday and I loved her 2

years ago. 3 months later, she had a friend call and tell me that she died of

starvation and frostbite in her car homeless in salt lake city. It was a hoax.

Scroll back 1 year prior, after a month of screaming and boundary trampling,

while she was screaming at me on the phone while I was at work for something I

had nothing to do with and after a morning of her calling me a stupid idiot to

my face at 4:30 a.m. for not believing her fantasy that the mexican party people

moved in next door in the middle of the night and took all my neighbor's things

and threatened her, I told her to get out and never come back, never contact me

unless she needed a ride to rehab.

>

> Here it is, 3 years later, I have never tried to contact her through any

medium, mechanism or channel and these are nada's loving words - the truth

twisting and attempted button pushing is amazing:

>

> " Putting a knife in your mothers back for the purpose of getting pitty is not

very mature nor does it guarantee love from others. What you did to me is

unforgivable. You truly are a (city of residence) c**t! Do not ever contact me

again.. You just stay with your c**t boyfriend! You'll never be mature enough to

know what ive done for your ungrateful dumb a** you uppity bi***. You need to

grow the f*** up! Leave me the f*** alone! You are my worst disappointment in

my whole life you hateful rotten bi*** and your giggalo whos trying to f*** your

daughter you dumb idiot bi***. How do you like me now! Leave me the hell alone

you cold hearted hateful bi***! You called the game now you deal with it! Grow

the f*** up you will never hurt me ever again you vindictive c***! That means

(exboyfriend's name)! He makes X and you make X, hello you idiot! When you

gave me ten bucks for gas he was afraid he wouldn't get his starbucks you blind

bi***. I'm so done with you!

>

> Next Message:

> You treated me like sh** when I love you so much now you can go to he** and

your uppity f'd attitiude. Go to he** bit**.

>

> Next Message:

> Oh by da way pity is NOT love pity is negative conotation you idiot! Grow the

f*** up!

>

> Next Message:

> Hope that word is not too big four you it mite b 4 me dugh!

>

> Next Message:

> You are so stupid you cu** see your boyfriend is trying to keep you away from

me. Gawd your stupid!

>

>

> Next Message:

> Wen r u going 2 wak up that (exboyfriend's name) is a perverted piece of sh**!

>

>

>

>

> The things she's reacting to happened 3 years ago. She told me my exhusband

was molesting my 18 year old daughter, my 18 year old daughter didn't like him

that much and if he had ever even come remotely close, my daughter would have

had his butt in jail. He creeped her out. But my nada supposedly filed charges

against him. I really don't give a rat's patootie because he was BPD or NPD

sick just like her. I got him out right after her - regardless. I rescued her

from death in Montana. Her exboyfriend called me and said she was putting away

a 2 litre bottle of vodka a day and was headed for sure death. I spent all of

my savings to get her to my home where she would be safe. I did work with older

adult services before she came to help me take the right actions, set boundaries

with her due to alcoholism, etc. So, clearly told her she could stay with me

for only 30 days. She never looked for a place to live even though the state

pays her rent. She told me I was obligated to take care of her forever. I

cringe remembering that conversation.

>

> It was such an insane time. it took 3 years to recover from her drama and 6

text messages later - the ones not posted were to my exboyfriend (who is my

exhusband -divorced 3 years ago). Even though I know her hateful words are

about her own self-loathing and being pissed off that I quit being the bank of

Jaie to fund her drinking, quit being her therapist, punching bag, manipulative

tool etc, when I saw these texts, I went into full PTSD-like

symptoms...uncontrollable shaking, fearful thoughts like my life was on the line

and crying thinking OMG! Its happening again. I quickly changed my phone

number and 3 weeks later, all is mostly well. I realize her words had nothing

to do with me but it hurts to see such words from your mother. I'm a mother and

my kids could call me every name in the book and never would I ever call them

names. I love them truly. I guess because I believe that about my own

children, it hurts to see a nada being so abusive. I sent her only one

response: I'm sorry I hurt you. I cannot have you in my life because you are

abusive and I'm tired of you hurting me and my children. This is the way it has

to be. I'm sorry.

>

> It felt good to stand up for myself. It felt good to change my number knowing

she will never get it again (because no one in my family has it) and that I am

again safe from her harmful words. Nada will never seek treatment and sadly,

these hateful words just add to her misery. I hope someone is looking after

her. I can't do it any more.

>

> I needed to vent. Now, it's time once again to move on knowing nothing she

said is anything but hurtful lies from a purely miserable soul. No contact is

sometimes required. Sad, but it is what it is.

>

> Blessings to all.

>

> J

>

[Guest guest]

All I can say is wow. It is unbelievable to see how similar these messages are

across Nadas. Are you sure that isn't my MIL???? Take away the " C " word....

that's the one line she hasn't actually crossed, and everything else is the

same. You are such a disappointment.... how do you like me now?.... Grow the

f*** up.... You treated me like sh** when I loved you so much.... Leave me

alone..... do not ever contact me again..... when are you going to wake up and

see (spouse) is a terrible person?....

I should post my emails so you could see just how similar they are.

I don't have much to say other than, I know what you feel like. My MIL uses

email. It never stops. It is incredible.

>

> 3 weeks ago, one of my family members accidentally passed my phone number to

nada. I've not spoken to her in 3 years. Our last communications were me

calling and leaving her a message telling her happy birthday and I loved her 2

years ago. 3 months later, she had a friend call and tell me that she died of

starvation and frostbite in her car homeless in salt lake city. It was a hoax.

Scroll back 1 year prior, after a month of screaming and boundary trampling,

while she was screaming at me on the phone while I was at work for something I

had nothing to do with and after a morning of her calling me a stupid idiot to

my face at 4:30 a.m. for not believing her fantasy that the mexican party people

moved in next door in the middle of the night and took all my neighbor's things

and threatened her, I told her to get out and never come back, never contact me

unless she needed a ride to rehab.

>

> Here it is, 3 years later, I have never tried to contact her through any

medium, mechanism or channel and these are nada's loving words - the truth

twisting and attempted button pushing is amazing:

>

> " Putting a knife in your mothers back for the purpose of getting pitty is not

very mature nor does it guarantee love from others. What you did to me is

unforgivable. You truly are a (city of residence) c**t! Do not ever contact me

again.. You just stay with your c**t boyfriend! You'll never be mature enough to

know what ive done for your ungrateful dumb a** you uppity bi***. You need to

grow the f*** up! Leave me the f*** alone! You are my worst disappointment in

my whole life you hateful rotten bi*** and your giggalo whos trying to f*** your

daughter you dumb idiot bi***. How do you like me now! Leave me the hell alone

you cold hearted hateful bi***! You called the game now you deal with it! Grow

the f*** up you will never hurt me ever again you vindictive c***! That means

(exboyfriend's name)! He makes X and you make X, hello you idiot! When you

gave me ten bucks for gas he was afraid he wouldn't get his starbucks you blind

bi***. I'm so done with you!

>

> Next Message:

> You treated me like sh** when I love you so much now you can go to he** and

your uppity f'd attitiude. Go to he** bit**.

>

> Next Message:

> Oh by da way pity is NOT love pity is negative conotation you idiot! Grow the

f*** up!

>

> Next Message:

> Hope that word is not too big four you it mite b 4 me dugh!

>

> Next Message:

> You are so stupid you cu** see your boyfriend is trying to keep you away from

me. Gawd your stupid!

>

>

> Next Message:

> Wen r u going 2 wak up that (exboyfriend's name) is a perverted piece of sh**!

>

>

>

>

> The things she's reacting to happened 3 years ago. She told me my exhusband

was molesting my 18 year old daughter, my 18 year old daughter didn't like him

that much and if he had ever even come remotely close, my daughter would have

had his butt in jail. He creeped her out. But my nada supposedly filed charges

against him. I really don't give a rat's patootie because he was BPD or NPD

sick just like her. I got him out right after her - regardless. I rescued her

from death in Montana. Her exboyfriend called me and said she was putting away

a 2 litre bottle of vodka a day and was headed for sure death. I spent all of

my savings to get her to my home where she would be safe. I did work with older

adult services before she came to help me take the right actions, set boundaries

with her due to alcoholism, etc. So, clearly told her she could stay with me

for only 30 days. She never looked for a place to live even though the state

pays her rent. She told me I was obligated to take care of her forever. I

cringe remembering that conversation.

>

> It was such an insane time. it took 3 years to recover from her drama and 6

text messages later - the ones not posted were to my exboyfriend (who is my

exhusband -divorced 3 years ago). Even though I know her hateful words are

about her own self-loathing and being pissed off that I quit being the bank of

Jaie to fund her drinking, quit being her therapist, punching bag, manipulative

tool etc, when I saw these texts, I went into full PTSD-like

symptoms...uncontrollable shaking, fearful thoughts like my life was on the line

and crying thinking OMG! Its happening again. I quickly changed my phone

number and 3 weeks later, all is mostly well. I realize her words had nothing

to do with me but it hurts to see such words from your mother. I'm a mother and

my kids could call me every name in the book and never would I ever call them

names. I love them truly. I guess because I believe that about my own

children, it hurts to see a nada being so abusive. I sent her only one

response: I'm sorry I hurt you. I cannot have you in my life because you are

abusive and I'm tired of you hurting me and my children. This is the way it has

to be. I'm sorry.

>

> It felt good to stand up for myself. It felt good to change my number knowing

she will never get it again (because no one in my family has it) and that I am

again safe from her harmful words. Nada will never seek treatment and sadly,

these hateful words just add to her misery. I hope someone is looking after

her. I can't do it any more.

>

> I needed to vent. Now, it's time once again to move on knowing nothing she

said is anything but hurtful lies from a purely miserable soul. No contact is

sometimes required. Sad, but it is what it is.

>

> Blessings to all.

>

> J

>

[Guest guest]

The only good thing about nadas learning to text and use e-mail is that any

vitriolic messages you receive exist as hard evidence of just exactly how

irrational, dysregulated, and even hostile nada really is. Its as good as an

eye-witness or ear-witness.

Particularly keep any messages that contain threats. Any threat should be taken

seriously, in my opinion, whether its a suicide threat or a threat against

you/your family/property/reputation, etc.

Of all the personality disorders, those with bpd have the highest suicide rate

(if I remember what I've read correctly.)

Hard copies of threatening texts or emails can then be sent to your lawyer and

the police so that you all have a record of it, and it will be easier to get a

restraining order or consult with a psychiatrist, who will probably recommend

that nada receive an observation and psychiatric evaluation.

Its sad that we end up having to take these measures and precautions for our own

safety and for nada's. Just so freaking sad, truly.

-Annie

>

> All I can say is wow. It is unbelievable to see how similar these messages

are across Nadas. Are you sure that isn't my MIL???? Take away the " C "

word.... that's the one line she hasn't actually crossed, and everything else is

the same. You are such a disappointment.... how do you like me now?.... Grow

the f*** up.... You treated me like sh** when I loved you so much.... Leave me

alone..... do not ever contact me again..... when are you going to wake up and

see (spouse) is a terrible person?....

>

> I should post my emails so you could see just how similar they are.

>

> I don't have much to say other than, I know what you feel like. My MIL uses

email. It never stops. It is incredible.

[Guest guest]

Thanks . This situation taught me something very valuable. When you are

constantly under emotional or verbal attack from nada or fada, it is very

difficult, if not impossible, to heal and regain your center or any kind of

composure. Having 3 years of distance helped me heal. This time, her abusive

rant took only 3 weeks to move on from. I see the words now for the insanity

they are. No one that knows me would ever think any of those things would even

be remotely close to who I am. I learned that despite nada's horrible words, I

am a person with high integrity, honesty, compassion, understanding and love. I

will never allow her or anyone else of her nature to shut me down or make me

close myself off. But, it took no contact to protect me to get there. I'm

frustrated by her actions and not being able to have a mother in my life but you

know I finally for the first time, no longer feel like the victim. The sad

truth is, nada is the victim of her illness.

Thank you again for your kind words and support. Much love and many blessings

to you!

Jaie

[Guest guest]

Thanks . This situation taught me something very valuable. When you are

constantly under emotional or verbal attack from nada or fada, it is very

difficult, if not impossible, to heal and regain your center or any kind of

composure. Having 3 years of distance helped me heal. This time, her abusive

rant took only 3 weeks to move on from. I see the words now for the insanity

they are. No one that knows me would ever think any of those things would even

be remotely close to who I am. I learned that despite nada's horrible words, I

am a person with high integrity, honesty, compassion, understanding and love. I

will never allow her or anyone else of her nature to shut me down or make me

close myself off. But, it took no contact to protect me to get there. I'm

frustrated by her actions and not being able to have a mother in my life but you

know I finally for the first time, no longer feel like the victim. The sad

truth is, nada is the victim of her illness.

Thank you again for your kind words and support. Much love and many blessings

to you!

Jaie

[Guest guest]

Thank you Mia. Interestingly enough, you know what those last texts did for me?

They took away every drop of guilt I felt for going no contact. If she were

just BPD/Alcoholic and not purely abusive, I'd still be there helping her

however I could but now I realize my gut was right - she is beyond my capability

to rescue, to help, to do anything. I guess in a sense, I finally mourned her.

The last shred of hope went out the window when I got those texts so now I can

more the truth - I have no mother. I guess I never did.

But I pretty much raised myself and somehow became a good mom so I guess that

makes up for it. There is something good that comes out of everything ugly.

Those texts were pretty ugly and it hurt to get them but it did cause me to let

go completely. I guess saying out loud/posting it here was like the final good

bye.

I've saved the text messages in case I need to file another restraining order.

I don't think I'll need them. As much as she drinks, she won't be here that much

longer to taunt me. In a way, I'm lucky I get to mourn her now...little by

little instead of suddenly. IDK, it feels weird but weird is better than scared

- hahaha. I'll take it!

Thanks for your kind words.

Jaie

[Guest guest]

Thank you Mia. Interestingly enough, you know what those last texts did for me?

They took away every drop of guilt I felt for going no contact. If she were

just BPD/Alcoholic and not purely abusive, I'd still be there helping her

however I could but now I realize my gut was right - she is beyond my capability

to rescue, to help, to do anything. I guess in a sense, I finally mourned her.

The last shred of hope went out the window when I got those texts so now I can

more the truth - I have no mother. I guess I never did.

But I pretty much raised myself and somehow became a good mom so I guess that

makes up for it. There is something good that comes out of everything ugly.

Those texts were pretty ugly and it hurt to get them but it did cause me to let

go completely. I guess saying out loud/posting it here was like the final good

bye.

I've saved the text messages in case I need to file another restraining order.

I don't think I'll need them. As much as she drinks, she won't be here that much

longer to taunt me. In a way, I'm lucky I get to mourn her now...little by

little instead of suddenly. IDK, it feels weird but weird is better than scared

- hahaha. I'll take it!

Thanks for your kind words.

Jaie

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much AFB. AT & T was awesome. They know I had a prior restraining

order and so changed my number for free when they looked up the number and saw 6

texts. I'm grateful.

What I found interesting (because I analyze myself constantly for progress-Like

I won't believe it or something...LOL) is that when I saw her texts, my reaction

never really came from a place of believing the things that she said because I

know better. Its that no parent should ever treat a child like that. I'm a mom

and I feel just as incredulous when I hear about someone else's mom or dad

saying stupid soul smashing hateful words like that. It's funny to me how the

thoughts and adrenaline spool up really fast when you face something hurtful.

Like you said, her words are about her...she does hate herself, she things she

is all those things that she called me and every time she has one of these

rants, she just digs herself in deeper with herself psychologically. Somewhere

in there is a good soul. I've seen it. It's just completely lost to this

disorder.

Desiderada is one of my all time favorite works. Such timeless wisdom, infinite

beauty and strength along with soul saving affirmation and support. I love

those words. In fact, I'm going to go buy a new caligraphy copy this weekend

and put it in the most gorgeous frame I can find. Thank you for reminding

me.

I appreciate the supportive words so much. What we build up, love and trust on

the inside cannot be torn down ever. Nothing on the outside can steal what we

build. Strength comes in seeing the bigger picture, depersonalizing the

psychology of others transferred onto us and holding compassion for self as well

as others.

For whatever reason, this experience happened and is happening in my life.

Instead of choosing to feel victimized by it, I'm chosing to allow myself to

recognize the pain of it but continue to rise above it. I can't control nada

and her abusive statements but I can control how I see the situation. She's

sick. Luckily, I'm in treatment and will heal. As long as I strive to reach

beyond self-pity to find higher meaning in all of these experiences, I will be

always be fine and will always recover and if I can help one person in the

process know they'll be okay, YES! I'm glad and that's enough for me. Thank

you again! Much love and many blessings!

Jaie

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much AFB. AT & T was awesome. They know I had a prior restraining

order and so changed my number for free when they looked up the number and saw 6

texts. I'm grateful.

What I found interesting (because I analyze myself constantly for progress-Like

I won't believe it or something...LOL) is that when I saw her texts, my reaction

never really came from a place of believing the things that she said because I

know better. Its that no parent should ever treat a child like that. I'm a mom

and I feel just as incredulous when I hear about someone else's mom or dad

saying stupid soul smashing hateful words like that. It's funny to me how the

thoughts and adrenaline spool up really fast when you face something hurtful.

Like you said, her words are about her...she does hate herself, she things she

is all those things that she called me and every time she has one of these

rants, she just digs herself in deeper with herself psychologically. Somewhere

in there is a good soul. I've seen it. It's just completely lost to this

disorder.

Desiderada is one of my all time favorite works. Such timeless wisdom, infinite

beauty and strength along with soul saving affirmation and support. I love

those words. In fact, I'm going to go buy a new caligraphy copy this weekend

and put it in the most gorgeous frame I can find. Thank you for reminding

me.

I appreciate the supportive words so much. What we build up, love and trust on

the inside cannot be torn down ever. Nothing on the outside can steal what we

build. Strength comes in seeing the bigger picture, depersonalizing the

psychology of others transferred onto us and holding compassion for self as well

as others.

For whatever reason, this experience happened and is happening in my life.

Instead of choosing to feel victimized by it, I'm chosing to allow myself to

recognize the pain of it but continue to rise above it. I can't control nada

and her abusive statements but I can control how I see the situation. She's

sick. Luckily, I'm in treatment and will heal. As long as I strive to reach

beyond self-pity to find higher meaning in all of these experiences, I will be

always be fine and will always recover and if I can help one person in the

process know they'll be okay, YES! I'm glad and that's enough for me. Thank

you again! Much love and many blessings!

Jaie

[Guest guest]

Bizy Mom - thanks so much for posting. I'm so sorry that you or anyone else

knows what this feels like. Like AFB states, those hateful words they use

really shows what they think of themselves. People who love and respect

themselves don't talk like that to others, especially not loved ones. To do so

is purely abusive and no one need tolerate a moment of that in my opinion. .

We need to just consider the source and just not even react (or do our best to

calm our reactions when they hit with lots of self-love and positive talk). I

really hope one day the PTSD symptoms don't kick in when I hear from her. I

would like to one day be healed enough that I don't react at all. That's what I

strive for. I go quick for recovery tools to help get my thoughts on the right

track - filled with love instead of fear. Truth and love can conquer much in

this world.

Luckily, all of the email providers do have auto-send-to-trash mechanisms. If

nada ever figured out how to email, I'd be sending them straight to the trash

and never even reading them. You could do that too if you wanted to. They

(BPDs) are a lot braver in email and text than they seem to be in person or on

the phone actually talking to you.

I send you lots of positive energy and strength as I do to everyone on this

board every day since I found it. It's good to talk about it. I notice in time

the words that come out become less biter and more focused on healing in time.

It's a very good thing.

Take care of you.

Jaie

> >

> > 3 weeks ago, one of my family members accidentally passed my phone number to

nada. I've not spoken to her in 3 years. Our last communications were me

calling and leaving her a message telling her happy birthday and I loved her 2

years ago. 3 months later, she had a friend call and tell me that she died of

starvation and frostbite in her car homeless in salt lake city. It was a hoax.

Scroll back 1 year prior, after a month of screaming and boundary trampling,

while she was screaming at me on the phone while I was at work for something I

had nothing to do with and after a morning of her calling me a stupid idiot to

my face at 4:30 a.m. for not believing her fantasy that the mexican party people

moved in next door in the middle of the night and took all my neighbor's things

and threatened her, I told her to get out and never come back, never contact me

unless she needed a ride to rehab.

> >

> > Here it is, 3 years later, I have never tried to contact her through any

medium, mechanism or channel and these are nada's loving words - the truth

twisting and attempted button pushing is amazing:

> >

> > " Putting a knife in your mothers back for the purpose of getting pitty is

not very mature nor does it guarantee love from others. What you did to me is

unforgivable. You truly are a (city of residence) c**t! Do not ever contact me

again.. You just stay with your c**t boyfriend! You'll never be mature enough to

know what ive done for your ungrateful dumb a** you uppity bi***. You need to

grow the f*** up! Leave me the f*** alone! You are my worst disappointment in

my whole life you hateful rotten bi*** and your giggalo whos trying to f*** your

daughter you dumb idiot bi***. How do you like me now! Leave me the hell alone

you cold hearted hateful bi***! You called the game now you deal with it! Grow

the f*** up you will never hurt me ever again you vindictive c***! That means

(exboyfriend's name)! He makes X and you make X, hello you idiot! When you

gave me ten bucks for gas he was afraid he wouldn't get his starbucks you blind

bi***. I'm so done with you!

> >

> > Next Message:

> > You treated me like sh** when I love you so much now you can go to he** and

your uppity f'd attitiude. Go to he** bit**.

> >

> > Next Message:

> > Oh by da way pity is NOT love pity is negative conotation you idiot! Grow

the f*** up!

> >

> > Next Message:

> > Hope that word is not too big four you it mite b 4 me dugh!

> >

> > Next Message:

> > You are so stupid you cu** see your boyfriend is trying to keep you away

from me. Gawd your stupid!

> >

> >

> > Next Message:

> > Wen r u going 2 wak up that (exboyfriend's name) is a perverted piece of

sh**!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > The things she's reacting to happened 3 years ago. She told me my exhusband

was molesting my 18 year old daughter, my 18 year old daughter didn't like him

that much and if he had ever even come remotely close, my daughter would have

had his butt in jail. He creeped her out. But my nada supposedly filed charges

against him. I really don't give a rat's patootie because he was BPD or NPD

sick just like her. I got him out right after her - regardless. I rescued her

from death in Montana. Her exboyfriend called me and said she was putting away

a 2 litre bottle of vodka a day and was headed for sure death. I spent all of

my savings to get her to my home where she would be safe. I did work with older

adult services before she came to help me take the right actions, set boundaries

with her due to alcoholism, etc. So, clearly told her she could stay with me

for only 30 days. She never looked for a place to live even though the state

pays her rent. She told me I was obligated to take care of her forever. I

cringe remembering that conversation.

> >

> > It was such an insane time. it took 3 years to recover from her drama and 6

text messages later - the ones not posted were to my exboyfriend (who is my

exhusband -divorced 3 years ago). Even though I know her hateful words are

about her own self-loathing and being pissed off that I quit being the bank of

Jaie to fund her drinking, quit being her therapist, punching bag, manipulative

tool etc, when I saw these texts, I went into full PTSD-like

symptoms...uncontrollable shaking, fearful thoughts like my life was on the line

and crying thinking OMG! Its happening again. I quickly changed my phone

number and 3 weeks later, all is mostly well. I realize her words had nothing

to do with me but it hurts to see such words from your mother. I'm a mother and

my kids could call me every name in the book and never would I ever call them

names. I love them truly. I guess because I believe that about my own

children, it hurts to see a nada being so abusive. I sent her only one

response: I'm sorry I hurt you. I cannot have you in my life because you are

abusive and I'm tired of you hurting me and my children. This is the way it has

to be. I'm sorry.

> >

> > It felt good to stand up for myself. It felt good to change my number

knowing she will never get it again (because no one in my family has it) and

that I am again safe from her harmful words. Nada will never seek treatment and

sadly, these hateful words just add to her misery. I hope someone is looking

after her. I can't do it any more.

> >

> > I needed to vent. Now, it's time once again to move on knowing nothing she

said is anything but hurtful lies from a purely miserable soul. No contact is

sometimes required. Sad, but it is what it is.

> >

> > Blessings to all.

> >

> > J

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I've got the texts saved and sadly, I've got a CD that is full of nothing but

hateful threatening voice mail messages with times and dates saying over and

over, " I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna f you up good. " Yeah, those helped get the

restraining orders going for sure. it was actually the police that suggested we

get a restraining order after she filed false charges against us saying we stole

her social security check. We video'd returning it to the post office because

she kept sending her mail to our house after we told her she was no longer

permitted to do that. When the police came, we showed them the video and we

explained. The cops told her to go away and never come back. Then they came

back and told us to file a restraining order. They said if she violated it,

she'd be picked up and in custody they could do 5150 on her and maybe get her

some treatment. It didn't work, she moved out of state but we tried.

That part of the journey is over. She won't come back to my state. She's burned

too many bridges and got too much of a rap sheet out here I guess. She's got

one in her state now too from what I understand. When I called the police to

find out where her supposedly dead body was, one of the cops mentioned she had

quite a rap sheet. I knew about the Medicaid fraud but there was lots more

apparently. So much I just didn't know about nada. I don't care to know now.

I just wish her healing and that she gets lucky enough to find someone who can

be around to take care of her. Oh and yeah, well, I hope she never calls or

contacts me again.

The good news is...when someone tries to insult me now, I look at them roll my

eyes and say " amateur! " LOL

Hope you're having a pleasant and peaceful evening Annie

> >

> > All I can say is wow. It is unbelievable to see how similar these messages

are across Nadas. Are you sure that isn't my MIL???? Take away the " C "

word.... that's the one line she hasn't actually crossed, and everything else is

the same. You are such a disappointment.... how do you like me now?.... Grow

the f*** up.... You treated me like sh** when I loved you so much.... Leave me

alone..... do not ever contact me again..... when are you going to wake up and

see (spouse) is a terrible person?....

> >

> > I should post my emails so you could see just how similar they are.

> >

> > I don't have much to say other than, I know what you feel like. My MIL uses

email. It never stops. It is incredible.

>

[Guest guest]

Wow. Just. Wow.

You have definitely been through the ringer. You really seem so calm for having

been through so much. You're an inspiration to me as I embark upon dealing with

my mother and her problems.

[Guest guest]

Hehehe, you should have seen my sorry excuse of a self 3 years ago all angry and

full of self-pity for being abused by nada and feeling guilty for not continuing

to rescue her. LOL I've got 3 years of realization, counseling, a 12-step

program (ACOA) and NC under my belt. In a way, I guess I took the easy way out

but I just didn't have any other options that would work for me. I chose NC but

I made a firm decision to NEVER allow abusive people into my life ever again.

Nada was the first to go. I'll never stand in that situation again. I

absolutely refuse.

I don't think you ever totally get over the pain and frustration but you

DEFINITELY learn to respond to it better the moment you talk your reactions out

of existence. Programs, counseling and support groups like this one help so

much. I still have waves of pain but the tools for dealing with BPD really do

help and make your life so much better. I am glad for calm moments. I

appreciate them. If I can inspire anyone to believe that they will be okay, it

makes what I went through worth it.

>

> Wow. Just. Wow.

>

> You have definitely been through the ringer. You really seem so calm for

having been through so much. You're an inspiration to me as I embark upon

dealing with my mother and her problems.

>

>

>