Guest guest Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 So many newcomers lately. Hard to keep up and see you all. But welcome Del. You ve got a safe place here. We understand. The fears and resentments are normal, and a part of the whole package. And we are ALL terrified we ll be just like Nada. We rarely are. Anyway, welcome, look around, read, comment, ask. We are here to heal together, and strengthen each other. As KO s raised by a BP mom, we were all alone. Not any more. Not here. Doug > > Hello, > I've just discovered this website. My mom is BP. I'm left with lots of anger. I've been working on coming to terms with being raised by a BP but it's not that easy. I'm about to have a child and I've been feeling very resentful towards my mom. I think I'm very scared to be like her. Anyway, I just wanted to join in and introduce myself. > Del > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 So many newcomers lately. Hard to keep up and see you all. But welcome Del. You ve got a safe place here. We understand. The fears and resentments are normal, and a part of the whole package. And we are ALL terrified we ll be just like Nada. We rarely are. Anyway, welcome, look around, read, comment, ask. We are here to heal together, and strengthen each other. As KO s raised by a BP mom, we were all alone. Not any more. Not here. Doug > > Hello, > I've just discovered this website. My mom is BP. I'm left with lots of anger. I've been working on coming to terms with being raised by a BP but it's not that easy. I'm about to have a child and I've been feeling very resentful towards my mom. I think I'm very scared to be like her. Anyway, I just wanted to join in and introduce myself. > Del > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 So many newcomers lately. Hard to keep up and see you all. But welcome Del. You ve got a safe place here. We understand. The fears and resentments are normal, and a part of the whole package. And we are ALL terrified we ll be just like Nada. We rarely are. Anyway, welcome, look around, read, comment, ask. We are here to heal together, and strengthen each other. As KO s raised by a BP mom, we were all alone. Not any more. Not here. Doug > > Hello, > I've just discovered this website. My mom is BP. I'm left with lots of anger. I've been working on coming to terms with being raised by a BP but it's not that easy. I'm about to have a child and I've been feeling very resentful towards my mom. I think I'm very scared to be like her. Anyway, I just wanted to join in and introduce myself. > Del > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 Hi, I just joined, too. We can be angry newbies together. My nada's driving me nuts. I live with her, my father, and brother. She and my father are still married, although it's a sad excuse for a relationship, much less a marriage. I feel like I am not tough enough for the test I've been given of having a mother with BPD. Maybe this forum can strengthen me & help me be more patient w/her. Even my closest friends don't understand when I complain about her. It's a very frustrating time right now. I don't know how the next couple weeks are going to go, with the both of us home together all day. Scary thought. Gibbberish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 Hi, I just joined, too. We can be angry newbies together. My nada's driving me nuts. I live with her, my father, and brother. She and my father are still married, although it's a sad excuse for a relationship, much less a marriage. I feel like I am not tough enough for the test I've been given of having a mother with BPD. Maybe this forum can strengthen me & help me be more patient w/her. Even my closest friends don't understand when I complain about her. It's a very frustrating time right now. I don't know how the next couple weeks are going to go, with the both of us home together all day. Scary thought. Gibbberish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2010 Report Share Posted December 21, 2010 Thank you for your welcome. I've reading the book " stop walking on eggshells " . and someone on this website recommended " Understanding the Borderline Mother " . I " m not sure what I'm looking for? Validation, I've already found. It never gets old though. Healing? Most definitely! I don't understand this need that I have to talk about my abusive past. I want to move on from my past so badly but then I see the past affecting the present in my thoughts and behavior. Can you truly heal from being raised with a BP ? > > > > Hello, > > I've just discovered this website. My mom is BP. I'm left with lots of > anger. I've been working on coming to terms with being raised by a BP > but it's not that easy. I'm about to have a child and I've been feeling > very resentful towards my mom. I think I'm very scared to be like her. > Anyway, I just wanted to join in and introduce myself. > > Del > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2010 Report Share Posted December 21, 2010 The answer to your question, I think, is yes. My nada invalidated me every step of the way times X years??!!! So, when I could talk about it and dear friends validated me or my counselor validated me it helped a lot. I never had it before. At some point though you realize you have become capable of validating yourself and you will care less about telling your story (except when it helps someone else) than you care about healing. It will happen. Intent is everything. Never give up hope in your capacity to heal, learn and grow from all that you've dealt with. Something really good came from my bad experience growing up with nada. I am compassionate, understanding, stronger than most and very empathetic. I may not have been these things had I not been raised by nada. So, I'm grateful I learned these traits. The one's I'm not grateful for, like inability to recognize abusive behavior and automatically excusing it - so NOT okay. I'm learning to set boundaries and have sucessfully ditched 3 very likely to be NPD people in my life as a result of boundary setting. I suffered greatly being verbally and emotionally attacked for setting the boundaries but it was worth it. It just made me stronger and there is no way a BPD or NPD person can abuse me again. I am fast to overide my natural tendency to underreact and tell them sorry but insults are not okay with me. I'm leaving now. Healing is absolutely possible. I focus one one symptom at a time. dealing with it all is too overwhelming. LOL Hang in there. > > > > > > Hello, > > > I've just discovered this website. My mom is BP. I'm left with lots of > > anger. I've been working on coming to terms with being raised by a BP > > but it's not that easy. I'm about to have a child and I've been feeling > > very resentful towards my mom. I think I'm very scared to be like her. > > Anyway, I just wanted to join in and introduce myself. > > > Del > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2010 Report Share Posted December 21, 2010 The answer to your question, I think, is yes. My nada invalidated me every step of the way times X years??!!! So, when I could talk about it and dear friends validated me or my counselor validated me it helped a lot. I never had it before. At some point though you realize you have become capable of validating yourself and you will care less about telling your story (except when it helps someone else) than you care about healing. It will happen. Intent is everything. Never give up hope in your capacity to heal, learn and grow from all that you've dealt with. Something really good came from my bad experience growing up with nada. I am compassionate, understanding, stronger than most and very empathetic. I may not have been these things had I not been raised by nada. So, I'm grateful I learned these traits. The one's I'm not grateful for, like inability to recognize abusive behavior and automatically excusing it - so NOT okay. I'm learning to set boundaries and have sucessfully ditched 3 very likely to be NPD people in my life as a result of boundary setting. I suffered greatly being verbally and emotionally attacked for setting the boundaries but it was worth it. It just made me stronger and there is no way a BPD or NPD person can abuse me again. I am fast to overide my natural tendency to underreact and tell them sorry but insults are not okay with me. I'm leaving now. Healing is absolutely possible. I focus one one symptom at a time. dealing with it all is too overwhelming. LOL Hang in there. > > > > > > Hello, > > > I've just discovered this website. My mom is BP. I'm left with lots of > > anger. I've been working on coming to terms with being raised by a BP > > but it's not that easy. I'm about to have a child and I've been feeling > > very resentful towards my mom. I think I'm very scared to be like her. > > Anyway, I just wanted to join in and introduce myself. > > > Del > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2010 Report Share Posted December 21, 2010 The answer to your question, I think, is yes. My nada invalidated me every step of the way times X years??!!! So, when I could talk about it and dear friends validated me or my counselor validated me it helped a lot. I never had it before. At some point though you realize you have become capable of validating yourself and you will care less about telling your story (except when it helps someone else) than you care about healing. It will happen. Intent is everything. Never give up hope in your capacity to heal, learn and grow from all that you've dealt with. Something really good came from my bad experience growing up with nada. I am compassionate, understanding, stronger than most and very empathetic. I may not have been these things had I not been raised by nada. So, I'm grateful I learned these traits. The one's I'm not grateful for, like inability to recognize abusive behavior and automatically excusing it - so NOT okay. I'm learning to set boundaries and have sucessfully ditched 3 very likely to be NPD people in my life as a result of boundary setting. I suffered greatly being verbally and emotionally attacked for setting the boundaries but it was worth it. It just made me stronger and there is no way a BPD or NPD person can abuse me again. I am fast to overide my natural tendency to underreact and tell them sorry but insults are not okay with me. I'm leaving now. Healing is absolutely possible. I focus one one symptom at a time. dealing with it all is too overwhelming. LOL Hang in there. > > > > > > Hello, > > > I've just discovered this website. My mom is BP. I'm left with lots of > > anger. I've been working on coming to terms with being raised by a BP > > but it's not that easy. I'm about to have a child and I've been feeling > > very resentful towards my mom. I think I'm very scared to be like her. > > Anyway, I just wanted to join in and introduce myself. > > > Del > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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