Re: BPDs keeping phone tallies

[Guest guest]

You are not responsible for how your mother feels about anything. Nor are you

obligated to phone her out of guilt or fear.

From now on, me personally, if I choose to resume contact I'm going to respond

to my Cluster B mom's behaviors, not to " shoulds " or " ought tos " .

This means if you feel you *want* to call her out of a feeling of joy, then, go

ahead.

But if you phone her and she begins behaving badly toward you, trying to make

you feel shame about yourself or about how you treat her by accusing you of

being selfish or uncaring, or if she begins trying to manipulate you into

feeling guilty and responsible for her unhappiness (etc.) then, politely and

gently cut the call short. " I won't listen when you call me names, mother, or

accuse me of things like that, so I'll talk to you later when you're feeling

calmer. I'm hanging up now. 'bye. "

If calling her only results in abuse for you, then, call less often or take a

" time out " from contact.

If nada is able to refrain from acting-out verbally (being verbally abusive,

name-calling, making threats, being whiny/manipulative, being icy/rejecting,

etc.) then reward her by remaining on the phone when she behaves rationally and

communicates in a healthy way, and if she starts behaving badly, give the

consequence of cutting the call short.

-Annie

>

> My mom used to call me every morning,early. Some days when she didn't call me

I would call her. Or I would occasionally call her during her lunch break to let

her talk to my young daughter. That was when she was acting like a normal mom.

>

> In the past, when she has blown up, she has sometimes gone for a week or two

without calling me. Then she'll call randomly and in a pitiful voice, say " I

haven't heard from you in a really long time so I thought I'd check and see if

everything was ok " .

> She also has in the past told me she was going to stop calling her sisters to

see how long it took them to " miss " her and start calling her.

>

> After her recent holiday blowup, she began isolating herself from not only her

children but her siblings as well. But this is the longest she has done it for.

>

> It has been a very long time since she has called me. At least a few weeks. I

saw her at a family function this weekend. The only call she's made was strictly

business regarding a money matter and she was off the phone in 30 seconds.

>

> In the past, when we have cycled through this behavior, I have felt guilty,

caved and called her. I know for a fact she is sitting over there wallowing in

how no one loves her or cares about her and keeping a tally of the last time

anyone called. I know if I call her, she will be very cold to me and distant,

making me feel more like the bad guy, unloved, and like the worst daughter on

the planet with her cutting remarks.

>

> I am having difficulty finding the balance and trying to decide between what

is normal " checking in " on mom and what is calling out of obligation because I

am " supposed to because she is my mom " .

>

> Has anyone encountered this and how do you handle it?

>

[Guest guest]

You are not responsible for how your mother feels about anything. Nor are you

obligated to phone her out of guilt or fear.

From now on, me personally, if I choose to resume contact I'm going to respond

to my Cluster B mom's behaviors, not to " shoulds " or " ought tos " .

This means if you feel you *want* to call her out of a feeling of joy, then, go

ahead.

But if you phone her and she begins behaving badly toward you, trying to make

you feel shame about yourself or about how you treat her by accusing you of

being selfish or uncaring, or if she begins trying to manipulate you into

feeling guilty and responsible for her unhappiness (etc.) then, politely and

gently cut the call short. " I won't listen when you call me names, mother, or

accuse me of things like that, so I'll talk to you later when you're feeling

calmer. I'm hanging up now. 'bye. "

If calling her only results in abuse for you, then, call less often or take a

" time out " from contact.

If nada is able to refrain from acting-out verbally (being verbally abusive,

name-calling, making threats, being whiny/manipulative, being icy/rejecting,

etc.) then reward her by remaining on the phone when she behaves rationally and

communicates in a healthy way, and if she starts behaving badly, give the

consequence of cutting the call short.

-Annie

>

> My mom used to call me every morning,early. Some days when she didn't call me

I would call her. Or I would occasionally call her during her lunch break to let

her talk to my young daughter. That was when she was acting like a normal mom.

>

> In the past, when she has blown up, she has sometimes gone for a week or two

without calling me. Then she'll call randomly and in a pitiful voice, say " I

haven't heard from you in a really long time so I thought I'd check and see if

everything was ok " .

> She also has in the past told me she was going to stop calling her sisters to

see how long it took them to " miss " her and start calling her.

>

> After her recent holiday blowup, she began isolating herself from not only her

children but her siblings as well. But this is the longest she has done it for.

>

> It has been a very long time since she has called me. At least a few weeks. I

saw her at a family function this weekend. The only call she's made was strictly

business regarding a money matter and she was off the phone in 30 seconds.

>

> In the past, when we have cycled through this behavior, I have felt guilty,

caved and called her. I know for a fact she is sitting over there wallowing in

how no one loves her or cares about her and keeping a tally of the last time

anyone called. I know if I call her, she will be very cold to me and distant,

making me feel more like the bad guy, unloved, and like the worst daughter on

the planet with her cutting remarks.

>

> I am having difficulty finding the balance and trying to decide between what

is normal " checking in " on mom and what is calling out of obligation because I

am " supposed to because she is my mom " .

>

> Has anyone encountered this and how do you handle it?

>

[Guest guest]

You are not responsible for how your mother feels about anything. Nor are you

obligated to phone her out of guilt or fear.

From now on, me personally, if I choose to resume contact I'm going to respond

to my Cluster B mom's behaviors, not to " shoulds " or " ought tos " .

This means if you feel you *want* to call her out of a feeling of joy, then, go

ahead.

But if you phone her and she begins behaving badly toward you, trying to make

you feel shame about yourself or about how you treat her by accusing you of

being selfish or uncaring, or if she begins trying to manipulate you into

feeling guilty and responsible for her unhappiness (etc.) then, politely and

gently cut the call short. " I won't listen when you call me names, mother, or

accuse me of things like that, so I'll talk to you later when you're feeling

calmer. I'm hanging up now. 'bye. "

If calling her only results in abuse for you, then, call less often or take a

" time out " from contact.

If nada is able to refrain from acting-out verbally (being verbally abusive,

name-calling, making threats, being whiny/manipulative, being icy/rejecting,

etc.) then reward her by remaining on the phone when she behaves rationally and

communicates in a healthy way, and if she starts behaving badly, give the

consequence of cutting the call short.

-Annie

>

> My mom used to call me every morning,early. Some days when she didn't call me

I would call her. Or I would occasionally call her during her lunch break to let

her talk to my young daughter. That was when she was acting like a normal mom.

>

> In the past, when she has blown up, she has sometimes gone for a week or two

without calling me. Then she'll call randomly and in a pitiful voice, say " I

haven't heard from you in a really long time so I thought I'd check and see if

everything was ok " .

> She also has in the past told me she was going to stop calling her sisters to

see how long it took them to " miss " her and start calling her.

>

> After her recent holiday blowup, she began isolating herself from not only her

children but her siblings as well. But this is the longest she has done it for.

>

> It has been a very long time since she has called me. At least a few weeks. I

saw her at a family function this weekend. The only call she's made was strictly

business regarding a money matter and she was off the phone in 30 seconds.

>

> In the past, when we have cycled through this behavior, I have felt guilty,

caved and called her. I know for a fact she is sitting over there wallowing in

how no one loves her or cares about her and keeping a tally of the last time

anyone called. I know if I call her, she will be very cold to me and distant,

making me feel more like the bad guy, unloved, and like the worst daughter on

the planet with her cutting remarks.

>

> I am having difficulty finding the balance and trying to decide between what

is normal " checking in " on mom and what is calling out of obligation because I

am " supposed to because she is my mom " .

>

> Has anyone encountered this and how do you handle it?

>

[Guest guest]

Keeping tallies of who calls how often sounds very nada-like.

Normal people call their mothers when they want to talk to them

or when they have some reason to do so. Is there something going

on with yours that causes you to think she needs to be checked

on? If not, you have no obligation to call her any more than you

want to call her. There is no good reason to feel guilty for not

calling her. If she's wallowing in feeling unloved, that's her

problem, not yours. You're not the bad guy nor are you the worst

daughter on the planet. If she's making you feel that way,

that's reason to call her less, not more.

In general, I find it healthy to try NOT to do things if my nada

tries to use guilt and/or obligation to get me to do them. Using

those is a sign that she's being emotionally manipulative and I

don't want to encourage that. I'm willing to talk to her a lot

more when she isn't indulging in manipulative behavior. When

she's behaving relatively well I'll talk to her about once a

week.

At 04:33 PM 01/06/2011 big_sister_03 wrote:

>My mom used to call me every morning,early. Some days when she

>didn't call me I would call her. Or I would occasionally call

>her during her lunch break to let her talk to my young

>daughter. That was when she was acting like a normal mom.

>

>In the past, when she has blown up, she has sometimes gone for

>a week or two without calling me. Then she'll call randomly and

>in a pitiful voice, say " I haven't heard from you in a really

>long time so I thought I'd check and see if everything was ok " .

>She also has in the past told me she was going to stop calling

>her sisters to see how long it took them to " miss " her and

>start calling her.

>

>After her recent holiday blowup, she began isolating herself

>from not only her children but her siblings as well. But this

>is the longest she has done it for.

>

>It has been a very long time since she has called me. At least

>a few weeks. I saw her at a family function this weekend. The

>only call she's made was strictly business regarding a money

>matter and she was off the phone in 30 seconds.

>

>In the past, when we have cycled through this behavior, I have

>felt guilty, caved and called her. I know for a fact she is

>sitting over there wallowing in how no one loves her or cares

>about her and keeping a tally of the last time anyone called. I

>know if I call her, she will be very cold to me and distant,

>making me feel more like the bad guy, unloved, and like the

>worst daughter on the planet with her cutting remarks.

>

>I am having difficulty finding the balance and trying to decide

>between what is normal " checking in " on mom and what is calling

>out of obligation because I am " supposed to because she is my

>mom " .

>

>Has anyone encountered this and how do you handle it?

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

My mother did what i always called " psycho " calling. She would call me 5, 6,

even 7 times a day and demand I speak to her for 1 or 2 hours. She would get

very upset if I explained I have children, a husband, a life, etc.. She would

get pitiful and guilt me that because I was the one who chose to move away, it

was her only contact (she refused to leave the house and claimed to have

agoraphobia). She would also hang up and immediately call back within 20-30

seconds if I didn't answer. She would alternate between my house phone, my cell

phone and my husband's cell phone. She has even been known to call my

neighbors. It was reallly embarrassing. All over me not answering in maybe a

1 or 2 hour period, definitely not longer. It was CRAZYMAKING.

And she would also go on and on about how she always did the calling. She

demanded to talk to me when i got up, during the day and when I went to

bed...and generally many times in between.

It was bizarre and not normal. A lot of times I'd explode on her because I'd

lose my patience and then the " poor me, nobody loves me " would start. And she'd

go on and on about how much she had done for me and how unappreciative I was and

ask me if she was REALLY that bad of a mother and all she wanted was to be a

part of my life.

Ugh.

It was so crazymaking. You can't even imagine.

BPDs keeping " phone " tallies

My mom used to call me every morning,early. Some days when she didn't call me I

would call her. Or I would occasionally call her during her lunch break to let

her talk to my young daughter. That was when she was acting like a normal mom.

In the past, when she has blown up, she has sometimes gone for a week or two

without calling me. Then she'll call randomly and in a pitiful voice, say " I

haven't heard from you in a really long time so I thought I'd check and see if

everything was ok " .

She also has in the past told me she was going to stop calling her sisters to

see how long it took them to " miss " her and start calling her.

After her recent holiday blowup, she began isolating herself from not only her

children but her siblings as well. But this is the longest she has done it for.

It has been a very long time since she has called me. At least a few weeks. I

saw her at a family function this weekend. The only call she's made was strictly

business regarding a money matter and she was off the phone in 30 seconds.

In the past, when we have cycled through this behavior, I have felt guilty,

caved and called her. I know for a fact she is sitting over there wallowing in

how no one loves her or cares about her and keeping a tally of the last time

anyone called. I know if I call her, she will be very cold to me and distant,

making me feel more like the bad guy, unloved, and like the worst daughter on

the planet with her cutting remarks.

I am having difficulty finding the balance and trying to decide between what is

normal " checking in " on mom and what is calling out of obligation because I am

" supposed to because she is my mom " .

Has anyone encountered this and how do you handle it?

[Guest guest]

My mother did what i always called " psycho " calling. She would call me 5, 6,

even 7 times a day and demand I speak to her for 1 or 2 hours. She would get

very upset if I explained I have children, a husband, a life, etc.. She would

get pitiful and guilt me that because I was the one who chose to move away, it

was her only contact (she refused to leave the house and claimed to have

agoraphobia). She would also hang up and immediately call back within 20-30

seconds if I didn't answer. She would alternate between my house phone, my cell

phone and my husband's cell phone. She has even been known to call my

neighbors. It was reallly embarrassing. All over me not answering in maybe a

1 or 2 hour period, definitely not longer. It was CRAZYMAKING.

And she would also go on and on about how she always did the calling. She

demanded to talk to me when i got up, during the day and when I went to

bed...and generally many times in between.

It was bizarre and not normal. A lot of times I'd explode on her because I'd

lose my patience and then the " poor me, nobody loves me " would start. And she'd

go on and on about how much she had done for me and how unappreciative I was and

ask me if she was REALLY that bad of a mother and all she wanted was to be a

part of my life.

Ugh.

It was so crazymaking. You can't even imagine.

BPDs keeping " phone " tallies

My mom used to call me every morning,early. Some days when she didn't call me I

would call her. Or I would occasionally call her during her lunch break to let

her talk to my young daughter. That was when she was acting like a normal mom.

In the past, when she has blown up, she has sometimes gone for a week or two

without calling me. Then she'll call randomly and in a pitiful voice, say " I

haven't heard from you in a really long time so I thought I'd check and see if

everything was ok " .

She also has in the past told me she was going to stop calling her sisters to

see how long it took them to " miss " her and start calling her.

After her recent holiday blowup, she began isolating herself from not only her

children but her siblings as well. But this is the longest she has done it for.

It has been a very long time since she has called me. At least a few weeks. I

saw her at a family function this weekend. The only call she's made was strictly

business regarding a money matter and she was off the phone in 30 seconds.

In the past, when we have cycled through this behavior, I have felt guilty,

caved and called her. I know for a fact she is sitting over there wallowing in

how no one loves her or cares about her and keeping a tally of the last time

anyone called. I know if I call her, she will be very cold to me and distant,

making me feel more like the bad guy, unloved, and like the worst daughter on

the planet with her cutting remarks.

I am having difficulty finding the balance and trying to decide between what is

normal " checking in " on mom and what is calling out of obligation because I am

" supposed to because she is my mom " .

Has anyone encountered this and how do you handle it?

[Guest guest]

My mother did what i always called " psycho " calling. She would call me 5, 6,

even 7 times a day and demand I speak to her for 1 or 2 hours. She would get

very upset if I explained I have children, a husband, a life, etc.. She would

get pitiful and guilt me that because I was the one who chose to move away, it

was her only contact (she refused to leave the house and claimed to have

agoraphobia). She would also hang up and immediately call back within 20-30

seconds if I didn't answer. She would alternate between my house phone, my cell

phone and my husband's cell phone. She has even been known to call my

neighbors. It was reallly embarrassing. All over me not answering in maybe a

1 or 2 hour period, definitely not longer. It was CRAZYMAKING.

And she would also go on and on about how she always did the calling. She

demanded to talk to me when i got up, during the day and when I went to

bed...and generally many times in between.

It was bizarre and not normal. A lot of times I'd explode on her because I'd

lose my patience and then the " poor me, nobody loves me " would start. And she'd

go on and on about how much she had done for me and how unappreciative I was and

ask me if she was REALLY that bad of a mother and all she wanted was to be a

part of my life.

Ugh.

It was so crazymaking. You can't even imagine.

BPDs keeping " phone " tallies

My mom used to call me every morning,early. Some days when she didn't call me I

would call her. Or I would occasionally call her during her lunch break to let

her talk to my young daughter. That was when she was acting like a normal mom.

In the past, when she has blown up, she has sometimes gone for a week or two

without calling me. Then she'll call randomly and in a pitiful voice, say " I

haven't heard from you in a really long time so I thought I'd check and see if

everything was ok " .

She also has in the past told me she was going to stop calling her sisters to

see how long it took them to " miss " her and start calling her.

After her recent holiday blowup, she began isolating herself from not only her

children but her siblings as well. But this is the longest she has done it for.

It has been a very long time since she has called me. At least a few weeks. I

saw her at a family function this weekend. The only call she's made was strictly

business regarding a money matter and she was off the phone in 30 seconds.

In the past, when we have cycled through this behavior, I have felt guilty,

caved and called her. I know for a fact she is sitting over there wallowing in

how no one loves her or cares about her and keeping a tally of the last time

anyone called. I know if I call her, she will be very cold to me and distant,

making me feel more like the bad guy, unloved, and like the worst daughter on

the planet with her cutting remarks.

I am having difficulty finding the balance and trying to decide between what is

normal " checking in " on mom and what is calling out of obligation because I am

" supposed to because she is my mom " .

Has anyone encountered this and how do you handle it?

[Guest guest]

>>

> I am having difficulty finding the balance and trying to decide between what

is normal " checking in " on mom and what is calling out of obligation because I

am " supposed to because she is my mom " .

>

Everyone has his own personal limits and feelings about frequency of phone

contact, so ultimately, the answer lies with you.

How often do you WANT to call your mother, or think to yourself, " I can't wait

to call my mom and chat! " I think that is about how often you need to call.

I would posit that calling to " check in " on her at all sounds obligatory, i.e.,

it sounds like you are only calling because you feel responsible for her. What

do you think?

KT

[Guest guest]

>>

> I am having difficulty finding the balance and trying to decide between what

is normal " checking in " on mom and what is calling out of obligation because I

am " supposed to because she is my mom " .

>

Everyone has his own personal limits and feelings about frequency of phone

contact, so ultimately, the answer lies with you.

How often do you WANT to call your mother, or think to yourself, " I can't wait

to call my mom and chat! " I think that is about how often you need to call.

I would posit that calling to " check in " on her at all sounds obligatory, i.e.,

it sounds like you are only calling because you feel responsible for her. What

do you think?

KT

[Guest guest]

>>

> I am having difficulty finding the balance and trying to decide between what

is normal " checking in " on mom and what is calling out of obligation because I

am " supposed to because she is my mom " .

>

Everyone has his own personal limits and feelings about frequency of phone

contact, so ultimately, the answer lies with you.

How often do you WANT to call your mother, or think to yourself, " I can't wait

to call my mom and chat! " I think that is about how often you need to call.

I would posit that calling to " check in " on her at all sounds obligatory, i.e.,

it sounds like you are only calling because you feel responsible for her. What

do you think?

KT

[Guest guest]

My phone relationship with my nada has evolved into my calling her 99% of the

time. This shift happened when I started screening my calls more and she just

couldn't stand having to leave a message and waiting for me to call her back.

Sometimes I dislike it that the calling burden is all on me, but then I remember

that because *I* choose when we talk, I also have time to prepare for each call,

choose a time when I feel strong and don't feel ambushed. So there are

advantages to being the one to initiate calls.

But about your situation, I'd say choose a calling schedule that feels

comfortable to you, often enough to check on her not so often you are left

thinking about the last conversation all the time and stick with it. I think

that BPD's are calmed by a predictable level of contact...how it works for you

is what matters though.

>

> My mom used to call me every morning,early. Some days when she didn't call me

I would call her. Or I would occasionally call her during her lunch break to let

her talk to my young daughter. That was when she was acting like a normal mom.

>

> In the past, when she has blown up, she has sometimes gone for a week or two

without calling me. Then she'll call randomly and in a pitiful voice, say " I

haven't heard from you in a really long time so I thought I'd check and see if

everything was ok " .

> She also has in the past told me she was going to stop calling her sisters to

see how long it took them to " miss " her and start calling her.

>

> After her recent holiday blowup, she began isolating herself from not only her

children but her siblings as well. But this is the longest she has done it for.

>

> It has been a very long time since she has called me. At least a few weeks. I

saw her at a family function this weekend. The only call she's made was strictly

business regarding a money matter and she was off the phone in 30 seconds.

>

> In the past, when we have cycled through this behavior, I have felt guilty,

caved and called her. I know for a fact she is sitting over there wallowing in

how no one loves her or cares about her and keeping a tally of the last time

anyone called. I know if I call her, she will be very cold to me and distant,

making me feel more like the bad guy, unloved, and like the worst daughter on

the planet with her cutting remarks.

>

> I am having difficulty finding the balance and trying to decide between what

is normal " checking in " on mom and what is calling out of obligation because I

am " supposed to because she is my mom " .

>

> Has anyone encountered this and how do you handle it?

>

[Guest guest]

I remember reading that somewhere too; maybe it was in " Stop Walking On

Eggshells " : that those with bpd do better on regular schedules. Rather like

very small children, the predictability/constancy makes them feel more secure.

So if you as the KO control the schedule and initiate the calling, maybe that

will work better for you too. You'll know when your scheduled contact is,

rather than being " ambushed " by an unexpected call when you're not emotionally

prepared for it.

-Annie

>

> My phone relationship with my nada has evolved into my calling her 99% of the

time. This shift happened when I started screening my calls more and she just

couldn't stand having to leave a message and waiting for me to call her back.

Sometimes I dislike it that the calling burden is all on me, but then I remember

that because *I* choose when we talk, I also have time to prepare for each call,

choose a time when I feel strong and don't feel ambushed. So there are

advantages to being the one to initiate calls.

>

> But about your situation, I'd say choose a calling schedule that feels

comfortable to you, often enough to check on her not so often you are left

thinking about the last conversation all the time and stick with it. I think

that BPD's are calmed by a predictable level of contact...how it works for you

is what matters though.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah, I think I know what you mean as it's similar to my nada's phone...

issues. (for lack of better word)

When I lived near her we had limited contact which was pretty good. She

hardly called me, I hardly called her. Then when we would speak she'd get

on my case about not calling... I'd say, " You know, my phone is not the only

one in the world that dials out. " Unfortunately that usually just made the

conversation more unpleasant.

She also screened all her calls with her answering machine. When they

finally switched to voice mail, she'd let it pick up before she'd answer.

Now, I'm guilty of this myself... but when I was trying to let her know by

phone & email that I was moving 200ish miles away, she never did return

those calls. I KNOW the woman checks her answering machine/voice mail

religiously. She was playing mind games.

Well, I think I won the mind game. Now we're NC.

The only time she would call me regularly was when her mother moved from out

of state to a house right across the street from her. hahaha... I'm sorry,

it makes me laugh. She would call me to bitch about my grandnada like we

had some kind of common enemy.

Mia

>

>

> Has anyone encountered this and how do you handle it?

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah, I think I know what you mean as it's similar to my nada's phone...

issues. (for lack of better word)

When I lived near her we had limited contact which was pretty good. She

hardly called me, I hardly called her. Then when we would speak she'd get

on my case about not calling... I'd say, " You know, my phone is not the only

one in the world that dials out. " Unfortunately that usually just made the

conversation more unpleasant.

She also screened all her calls with her answering machine. When they

finally switched to voice mail, she'd let it pick up before she'd answer.

Now, I'm guilty of this myself... but when I was trying to let her know by

phone & email that I was moving 200ish miles away, she never did return

those calls. I KNOW the woman checks her answering machine/voice mail

religiously. She was playing mind games.

Well, I think I won the mind game. Now we're NC.

The only time she would call me regularly was when her mother moved from out

of state to a house right across the street from her. hahaha... I'm sorry,

it makes me laugh. She would call me to bitch about my grandnada like we

had some kind of common enemy.

Mia

>

>

> Has anyone encountered this and how do you handle it?

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah, I think I know what you mean as it's similar to my nada's phone...

issues. (for lack of better word)

When I lived near her we had limited contact which was pretty good. She

hardly called me, I hardly called her. Then when we would speak she'd get

on my case about not calling... I'd say, " You know, my phone is not the only

one in the world that dials out. " Unfortunately that usually just made the

conversation more unpleasant.

She also screened all her calls with her answering machine. When they

finally switched to voice mail, she'd let it pick up before she'd answer.

Now, I'm guilty of this myself... but when I was trying to let her know by

phone & email that I was moving 200ish miles away, she never did return

those calls. I KNOW the woman checks her answering machine/voice mail

religiously. She was playing mind games.

Well, I think I won the mind game. Now we're NC.

The only time she would call me regularly was when her mother moved from out

of state to a house right across the street from her. hahaha... I'm sorry,

it makes me laugh. She would call me to bitch about my grandnada like we

had some kind of common enemy.

Mia

>

>

> Has anyone encountered this and how do you handle it?

>

[Guest guest]

My grandnada was kind of like that. She would hardly ever leave a message,

just hang up. I'd see that she called on my caller ID.

Mia

>

>

> My phone relationship with my nada has evolved into my calling her 99% of

> the time. This shift happened when I started screening my calls more and she

> just couldn't stand having to leave a message and waiting for me to call her

> back.

>

[Guest guest]

My grandnada was kind of like that. She would hardly ever leave a message,

just hang up. I'd see that she called on my caller ID.

Mia

>

>

> My phone relationship with my nada has evolved into my calling her 99% of

> the time. This shift happened when I started screening my calls more and she

> just couldn't stand having to leave a message and waiting for me to call her

> back.

>

[Guest guest]

My grandnada was kind of like that. She would hardly ever leave a message,

just hang up. I'd see that she called on my caller ID.

Mia

>

>

> My phone relationship with my nada has evolved into my calling her 99% of

> the time. This shift happened when I started screening my calls more and she

> just couldn't stand having to leave a message and waiting for me to call her

> back.

>